[Seafrk]

 

[slickitem]

I just went to the store to buy some condoms. The Gal at the cash register asked, "Do you want a bag?" I said, "No, she is not that ugly."

 

[Califbill]

 

[RipnLip]

View attachment 1075302

 

[Califbill]

 

[ampersat]

 

[First Bite]

If Netflix made a "Rambo" remake:

 

[slickitem]

 

[Seafrk]

 

[Seafrk]

 

[slickitem]

 

[slickitem]

 

[Don G Baldi]

 

[Don G Baldi]

Yesterday I was at my local TSC store buying a large bag of my dog's food for my Australian Cattle Dog and was in the checkout, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog? What did she think I had an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter's a** end and a car hit me.

 

[Don G Baldi]

 

[DogZilla15]

DGB…. The dog food story never gets old.

 

[dons2346]

Lady goes to the doctor and tells him that her husband has taken to eating dog food. The doctor looks at the label on the can of dog food she brought and told her that there was nothing wrong with the ingredients and it was fine if her husband liked it.
Month later the doctor ran into the lady in the grocery store and inquired about her husband. She said that he died last week. Doc asked about him still eating dog food and ensured her it wasn't his diet that caused him to die.
Lady said oh no, it wasn't the dog food. He was laying in the middle of the street licking his ba**s and a truck hit him

 

[xplorz]

 

[slickitem]

 

[slickitem]