[Coastalhounddog]

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be President of the United States.

If life shuts a door, open it again its just a door, that's how they work.

 

[Coastalhounddog]

 

[xplorz]

What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?

One shucks between fits and the other......

 

[Captain Kirk]

 

[The Jester]

 

[slickitem]

Facebook

www.facebook.com

 

[Coastalhounddog]

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them

 

[NorthPlainsDrifter]

What did they call electric eels before there was electricity? 🤔

 

[slickitem]

Please pray for my wife for she is in the hospital Doctor says she might be in a few days with a badly bruised face and broken nose after being stung by a bee, luckily I was close enough to kill the bee by hitting it with my shovel 😊😊😊

 

[First Bite]

 

[Slowsmokinhic]

😂😂😂

 

[Coastalhounddog]

Did you all hear the 51 million people scream "WT F is this!!!!" all at the same time last night?
You must have as it made a sonic boom when it hit the speed of sound.

 

[slickitem]

OK many of you might need a job and will need to place down how well on a job application you can do things, so let's start by changing a light bulb, all you need to let them know is this "I single-handedly managed the upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents"

 

[slickitem]

My Grandmother was so wise, once she told me you always must hug people you don't like, so you know how big a hole you need to dig in the backyard!

 

[Quiet Riot]

 

[DogZilla15]

No beer????..... You got two hands...

 

[DogZilla15]

Okay.... This just happened. Got a new radio in the truck today that's more compatible with satellite and some other fancy stuff I'm not familiar with. I'm upstairs at the computer and hear my wife going in and out through the garage below. No idea what she's doing. Go downstairs and she's sitting at her computer on the dining room table. She begins to explain what she's been doing, getting the new radio hooked up to satellite. I listen, nodding my head appropriately etc. She exclaims, hey look, I'm serious..... I stand there looking at her.........LMAO. Then she gets it..... Ya had to be there.....

 

[slickitem]

I once overheard a problem between a married couple where the wife was getting very upset, I saw she was looking through her husband's phone and asked him "Who goes by the name "Jumper Cables" The husband said "You" The wife said "me?" why me?" The husband responds "Because you keep wanting to start crap!"

 

[baltz526]

never tell the wife go write the check when you have a service guy working at the house. she will find your checkbook to write it out of no matter how much money she has in her account she will spend your savings to keep her cash.

 

[kigercreek]