If'n ye don't talk like a pirate, I'll be havin' ye scurvy matey's & wenches "Kiss the Gunner's daughter" as ye be given 30 lashes w' the cat o' ninetails. I'll cut ye from knave to chops & put yer dead lights out.
Ye ask how long I been a pirate????
All me bloomin' life, Sir! Me mother was a mermaid and me father he was King Neptune! I was born on the crest of a wave and rocked in the belly of the deep. Barnicles & seaweed is me clothes. The hair on me haid is hemp. Every bone in me body is a spar and when I spits, I spits tar. I'm hard I is, I am, I Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, SIR!!!!!
Ye ever heard of a pirate fishin? Ya blokes ever tried ta hold a fishin pole with a hook? I'll be outa here mateys! (Step, thump, step, thump, step thump, crash) Aaarghhh! Who spilt the grease on deck!