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52 Posts
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered

lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location,

but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with

some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following

exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747,

call sign "Speedbird 206":

Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning, Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear

of the active runway."

Ground: "Guten Morgen. You vill taxi to your gate."

The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed

to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment, Ground, I'm looking up our gate

location now."

Ground (with arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you never

flown to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): Yes, I have, actually, in 1944. In another

type of Boeing, but just to drop something off. I didn't stop."

· Registered
355 Posts
A Police officer pulled a fella over who was obviously going way over the speed limit, the Gentleman saw the officer come up and he rolled his window down, and ask the Officer "good afternoon officer was I going too fast?" The Officer replied, "no, sir, you were flying too low!"

· Registered
5,163 Posts
The Dolphin Trainer

An elderly man rear ends a guy driving an expensive sports car.
Enraged, the guy hops out of his car and confronts the old man. “Look
what you did to my car” he yells. “You’re gonna give me $10,000 right
now or I’m gonna beat you to a bloody pulp!”

“Oh my” says the old man, I don’t have that kind of money. Let me call
my son, he trains dolphins and he’ll know what to do.
Dolphins, the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes. The old man
pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as the son answers, the
irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.

So, YOU’RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, your old man here just rear
ended my car and I need ten grand right now or I’m gonna beat you AND
your old man to a bloody pulp.

I’ll be there in 10 minutes, says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly ten minutes later a jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and
proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a bloody heap on the
side of the road.

When he’s finished, he walks over to his father and says: “for the LAST
TIME dad…. I train SEALS…. NAVY SEALS…. NOT dolphins”

· Registered
2,026 Posts
Driving one day I get pulled over, cop says to me, your breath smells like beer, son you been drinking..........I say your eyes look glazed, you been eating donuts. bam I get the back seat tour..... All joking aside, a few times a year I get to ride in the front seat next to the driver, my son.
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1881 - 1900 of 2113 Posts