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Hi All, Been sitting on the sidelines since March of this year after being introduced to IFISH by several friends I work with, just watching and seeing how all this works and deciding if I wanted to be a part of IFISH. Finally got around to registering in July, and now just getting around to writing my “Newbie” story. Okay, so I procrastinated a bit, but here goes.
I am married to a lovely lady now going on to 27 years. Why she puts up with me, well that’s another story. Anywho, about 21 years ago and after the birth of our daughter and then a son 11 months later, ( Okay, we was on strike, couldn’t afford to do much anything else but fish and ……) we decided to get away for a weekend at the beach in August, our anniversary month. Now being a scheming fisherman, I thought what better chance to get in some Buoy 10 Salmon Fishing on a charter since I was boat-less. Even convinced the better half to join me. That really didn’t take all that much as she had spent several years in Kodiak as a kid, helping out occasionally on the crab boats after they returned to harbor. So I lined us up a trip with the “Coho Butch” out of the Coho Charters in Ilwaco. We headed down the day before to take in some beachcombing and such. I should have known then that things weren’t going to go well, when we went out to the North Jetty and the waves were breaking over the jetty big time. I should have kept quiet, but I told her, we may wanna think this over about going out tomorrow. She assured me she was a “Salty Dog”, she had lived in Kodiak, what could the Columbia River do that was worse then up there? With that said, we went out for pizza and beers that night, bad mistake, since neither of us are beer drinkers. Oh, the ignorance of youth. Stayed up way too late and got up way too early. Had a quick bite of some greasy breakfast. At o-dark-thirty, we boarded the “Butch”, a full boat load of fisher-people. Found us a spot on the side, about mid-ship. Of course all the other charters were warming up too, the diesel smell was bad. That stuff sure does stink. After a quick safety and fishing orientation, we headed out. Did I mention, left the Dramamine at the hotel.
Well with all the other charters and private boats going out the channel, it was a little bouncy. The wife was all smiles, “Hey this ain’t bad at all, I love it” Me, I just kept quiet, we hadn’t even passed the Coast Guard Station yet. Well we rounded the A-jetty, those waves that had been breaking the night before over the Jetty, they was still there, the rollers, I swear 8 to 10’,with wind chop on top of that. The smaller private boats would actually disappear from sight. Captain takes us out in the middle of the channel, amongst all the other charters and gives us the “drop ‘em in”. We all staggered around like a bunch of drunken sailors, actually I think a couple of them was drunk We’d been fishing about 10 minutes when the 1st yell of “Fish-on” was heard. Now the wife, she has gotten real quiet by this time. I ask her is she is okay, and I get a feeble little grin. Well about that time one of our rods starts to dance, I holler “Fish-on” and the little lady with me proceeds to feed the fish, while I play a fish. I tried to get her to take the rod, she wants nothing to do with it. I land our fish and get the rod back in the water. Boom, “Fish-on” I holler again, to the side she goes again, feeding the fish. This goes on for several fish, finally she looks at me and says, “Will you stop hollering and catching fish, I can’t throw-up anymore” So I promise to be quieter. Well a couple hours into this roller-coaster of a ride we are calling a fishing trip, she is asking me, ”When are we going back to shore?” I try to explain to her that we will stay out till everyone limits out, or 8 hours, whichever comes 1st.The other people on the boat paid to catch fish too.The look of panic in her eyes, I had never seen.
She asked me,” Do you have your Visa card with you?”
Yes, I replied. “ Well, offer to pay for everyone’s trip, so we can go home” she says
“Doesn’t work that way”, I replied. “The other people want to catch their fish, not just have a boat ride”.
All she could do was go to the rail and dry-heave. Now I will admit that I joined her a couple of times myself at the rail. I think just about everyone else on the boat did too. But we were catching fish.
Around the 3 hour mark, I am trying to get the wife to eat some crackers to get something on her stomach. You know, it was kinda like when the kids were born, I didn’t realize I was such a low life. Something about this was all my fault, leave her alone and get her home.
She asks me” The Coast Guard Station here, they have Rescue Boats and a Helicopter don’t they?”
“Yes, they do dear.”
“ Well, have them come get me then.”
“Sorry, doesn’t work that way”, I tell her
She grabs me the front of my shirt, “ Listen, tell the Captain to call the Coast Guard and tell them he has a woman on board who is starting to miscarry. I need to get off this boat”
“Dear, you aren’t pregnant, you had your tubes tied, remember”
“They don’t know that!!! I need to get off this boat!!!”
And with that, she was at the rails again
Man, I felt bad, but I was getting to fish two poles.
Well she curled up the best she could on the bench seat, I didn’t know someone could turn that green in color.
Well we are into our 4th hour now, and the river isn’t getting any better. We are still catching fish though.
Our position at mid-ship is where the Captain was climbing the ladder to the flying bridge. He made several trips up and down the ladder, helping the deck-hand out when chaos hit, aka, several fish on at once.
My darling dearest had noticed this. She asked me, and it was in all seriousness,
“Can you drive this boat?”
Yeah, I supposed I could if I had to. Why?”
She stared at me with a look of desperation, “ Look” She says. “The next time the Captain is on the ladder, I want you to grab him and throw him over the side. Then you take this boat and get me back to shore”
“WE AREN’T GONNA THROW THE CAPTAIN OFF HIS BOAT”
“It won’t be much longer, I promise. We should be just about limited out soon”
I think if she would have had the strength, she would have thrown me over at that time.
Thankfully, shortly there after, the last fish came on board, and we hear the “Reel ‘em in, we’re going home” my wife has so desperately been waiting to here. I think I actually saw some color coming back into her cheeks. When we hit the dock, it was “Give me the keys, I am not waiting for any fish. I am going home”
Since it’s a long walk from Ilwaco to Longview, I wisely held onto the keys till I had our fish in hand.
It was a very quiet trip home. But it did have some rewards. Now my wife does love the taste of freshly caught Salmon, baked or on the Barby. So it made it a lot easier to convince her, “ Honey,You know, if we had our own boat, and it got rough out there, you know, we could come right in, Whenever you wanted” But, that is another story.
Did I say I was a scheming fisherman. Hehehehehehehehe
 

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LOL!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That is hilarious!

“The next time the Captain is on the ladder, I want you to grab him and throw him over the side.

I believe the lady was serious, wasn't she? Ahh, the joys of catching your supper.

Welcome aboard. This is a fun place. But you already know that, don't you. :cheers:

Skein
 

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Very good story and welcome aboard.

One for your wife. :sick:

One for you. :cheers:

Sounds like you picked a good wife and charter.
 

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Okay now that was a funny story. I think YOU should have pushed the captain in. Now I know never to trust Rustyl if he tells me we can always go in if it is too rough for me(being that he too is a scheming fisherman with his own little boat).
 

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great story, and welcome to IFISH.
 

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WHAT A GREAT STORY!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I've been on a couple trips with some people that looked like if they had the strength they might hijack the boat and head it back to shore :grin: Makes you feel bad when you can't do anything about it. Welcome aboard and thanks for the laugh


-jokester
 

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Now that was FUNNY. I get the idea your bride is quite a character. Great story and welcome oh and feel free to share any more stories like that.
 

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Great intro Redbeard 13
Welcome to ifish. :grin:
Damn that was hilarious! :laugh:
After reading I had to call in my gal and read it aloud. (Salty Dog) :laugh: :laugh:
Welcome to ifish you and your gal. :grin:
 

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Great story, keep em comin!!!!
welcome aboard.
the title to your post "ifng" gives me an idea for a new moniker if anyone wants it..."finoogie"
 

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Very funny story Redbeard13, :laugh: :laugh:
I am glad you made me wait to read it. I almost felt a little qeazy myself reading it. It is about time you finally posted a story, and a story it was :grin:
So that why I never see your better half out with you?
Welcome!
tip
 
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