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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I received this email from a fellow Ifisher a couple of days after the 4th of July. This guy is my best friend and long time fishing partner. I have edited it to remove some smelly language. If this happened to you your language would probably be smelly also. The picture he refers to is not included. This is a true story, cross my heart and hope to die.

"The item pictured above is known by members of the RV community as a "sewer tote." When your RV is parked at a location that doesn't have sewer hook-ups, you drain your holding tank into this 50 gallon device and then "tote" it on over to the dump station.

Why is this important, you might ask?

Well, as you know, my brother is presently living in his RV in my driveway. On the 4th, he decided to "dump" his holding tank into his tote and haul it down to the dump station at the boat launch here in town.

If my math is correct, water weighs 8 pounds per gallon. The tank holds 40 gallons, plus another 5 gallons of flush water...Let's just say this thing weighs in around 350 pounds when it's just about at capacity. That makes it a challenge to get into the back of a pick-up truck, because there's no way this thing can be pulled the 4 miles to the dump station. So, my brother uses the metal ramp that he has for getting his Quad in and out of the back of the truck. He pulls, I push.

On Wednesday, as we were going through this semi-regular ritual, there was an equipment failure. See the cap at the back of the "tote"??? Well, when you leave plastic sitting out in the sun, the UV rays make it brittle. After sitting in the sun for the past couple years, the prongs holding the cap on finally yielded to the combined forces of semi-liquid pressure and gravity. The end result was a "excrement fountain" that engulfed the person pushing the tote up the ramp. Mmm, Mmm Good.

Let's see, after barfing in the middle of my driveway, I ran to the hose in the back yard. Then I took a long shower. Then I finished off with 5 pounds of Purell.

All I can really say is this: Somebody owes me big time!!!

Hope you had a better 4th of July than I did."
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Remember, this did not happen to me. I happened to my buddy.

He said his brother fell over laughing when this happened. As far as I know the brother is still living in his driveway. The driveway is gravel so cleanup was difficult. He mentioned something about 5 gallons of bleach. I did not ask him how it tasted because I assume it tasted like, uh, just like what you would think it tasted like.
 

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Remember, this did not happen to me. I happened to my buddy.

He said his brother fell over laughing when this happened. As far as I know the brother is still living in his driveway. The driveway is gravel so cleanup was difficult. He mentioned something about 5 gallons of bleach. I did not ask him how it tasted because I assume it tasted like, uh, just like what you would think it tasted like.
He has the best stories...

You should do a compilation and then publish it.

CN
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Great idea!

Next up, "I've Slipped Under My Bronco and Can't Get Up." Followed by, "I Had to Call the Police Because My Unhappy Tax Return Client That I Had To Remove From My Office is Now Trying To Break Down the Front Door." And lets not forget, "No, I Will Not Take 10 cents For This Glass Pitcher at My Garage Sale. Smash on Ground. OK, Now I Will".
 

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Yikes...people are going to think I've got an anger management problem that's the result of "poo abuse" doled out at the hands of his brother.

Let's see....to answer your questions....

Weeks of hypnotic therapy has unburdened my memory of the exact flavor...sorry to disappoint.

After the rains of the past week or so, the smell in the driveway has finally subsided. It had been a nice mix of raw sewage and bleech. Think back to when you were a stupid teenager and you'd go out with your buddies for a couple of beers that were swiped out of some dad's garage refer. Now, you knew the two boxes of Tic Tacs you were chewing up on the way home would never really cover up the smell of beer, but you just had to try. Same thing here with the bleech.

Yes, my brother's still very much alive, and still very much living in my driveway. Long story, short version for this arrangement - three years ago he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He went through drastic surgery and treatments, not really expecting to survive. Sold his house and most of his belongings and parked his RV in my driveway for the "duration." He's now 3 years cancer free when, by all odds, he should be dead. By his own admission, now that it looks like he's going to survive, he's going to have to figure out what to do with the rest of his life. So, I cut him some slack...even if that means taking a poo shower now and then.

The worst part of the whole ordeal was my teenage son, dancing around in the yard and reciting the now infamous line from the cinematic classic, Joe Dirt..."I got the poo on me, I got the poo on me."

My gosh...I'd forgotten about some of those stories and past embarassments. I'll offer up my own teasers....there's the time the young buck auditor is at a client's office and decides to push across the office in his chair to make a copy. Only thing, he didn't see the extension cord that had been stretched out in his path. Or, there's the time somebody sabotaged his umbrella by filling it with the paper "dots" that are made when you punch holes in paper. Admittedly, I had that one coming.

Glad I could lift your spirits at my suffering. :D
 

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Great idea!

Next up, "I've Slipped Under My Bronco and Can't Get Up." Followed by, "I Had to Call the Police Because My Unhappy Tax Return Client That I Had To Remove From My Office is Now Trying To Break Down the Front Door." And lets not forget, "No, I Will Not Take 10 cents For This Glass Pitcher at My Garage Sale. Smash on Ground. OK, Now I Will".
Cant wait to hear those!:applause:
 
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