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Fishing The Coast, Oregon and Washington

Smile Beard Christmas ornament Santa claus Lap

how I love Santa! The party was a great success!

Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
3, 2013

Happy December, three days late, and so, so, so much on my

What happened to my faithful, giving ifishers?

I know what happened.- or what some of you will say. I drove you away with
our inconsistent moderation and rules. I know. I did it! It's all my fault!
And you said that it would happen, some day, and now is my day to step up
to that plate. Yep. You were right all along.

But, at the same time, and I hear it almost every day, our strict rules
are what keeps you here. They are what built us! Why ifish is different!

So, what is it? Is it wrong, or is it right? Is it good or is it bad?

I know that right now, we are seriously understaffed. This has given you
your chance to see what it would be like, if we gave you an inch, so that
you could take a mile.

Half of you call this a good thing, and that we "lightened up on our
moderation", and half of you say it's a bad thing, and "what happened
to our ifish?!"

So frustrating, and partially why I stepped down from doing so much. Half
of you say that it's not a good thing to have our Christmas party on a week
night, and half of you say you can't come on a week night!

Have of you complain that we are a "left wing site" and half of
you say that we are so incredibly right winged that you can't possibly fit
in, here.

Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and read my private messages, and
I kid you not.-- Right in a row, right next to each other, are opposite
complaints! Someone will complain how strict we are, and the next private
message will say, "Why aren't you guys moderating this stuff, any more?
You never used to allow this!"

This happened just yesterday!

I just leaned back and giggled. What can I do right?

The stress of not knowing if anyone will come to the Christmas party is
nearly too much for me! I'm so thankful for my brother, David, who is bringing
an entire party of people from his office. At least I know that there will
be someone there!

I put up our toy guessing contest, which usually floats itself on top of
the board with activity. I normally don't have to "stick" it to
the top, as every time someone guesses and inserts a post, it automatically
goes to the top! There it stays with vigorous activity!

But, this year... how strange! I'm giving away a Lamiglas rod to the winner
of the toy guessing contest, and only ...

Well. (giggle)

I just checked it to tell you that oh... 8 people had posted to it and guessed,
but.... it's come alive!!! So far, now, there are 35 entries,
and growing! It's at the top! Giggle! YES! Finally! The Christmas Spirit
hits, and my personal spirit has taken a leap, this morning! Thank
Thank you for entering the contest, and most of all, thank
you for making me happy!
Here is the
link to the contest if you want to make me happy, too! :)

Well. I guess I can't whine like I had set out to do, this morning! Isn't
that funny how that happens!? You set out to do the whiny thing, and then
God won't allow it! I love it! Thank God for His sense of humor!

Yesterday, buried in a bunch of alerts on our mod board was this awesome
kind note from Thumper... asking our people to give to the ifish party.
That post touched my heart so deeply! I think Jack and I are very much alike.
He is more kind hearted than I am, though! To remember me, and to remember
our Ifish party was so nice! Thank
you, Thumper!
Oh! And lookee there! Thank you to Crabbait for bumping
it to the top! I love these guys!

Two days ago, I thought I was coming down with that awful flu bug that Bill
had. I was achy. My nose was running madly, and I felt feverish. The next
day, though, I felt better. You know what I think it was? I mean, I still
feel a little yucky, but I think that I'm still allergic to leaf mold. When
I was young, I had allergy testing, and they said I was very allergic to
leaf mold. I had spent the day before blowing moldy leaves around!

I'm so thankful that I feel good enough to go, tonight. But, I'm spending
the day in bed, so that I have enough energy for tonight! I hope that my
foreign exchange student doesn't have a test tomorrow, because I'd like
for him to go!

Yesterday I put the lights up on my home, and last night before bed, I walked
into the kitchen. The living room was dark, except for the soft glow of
the lights, outside.

"Hi, Jannie". I heard, quietly from the dark. (That's what Luke
calls me)

His laptop glowed an eerie glow, from the couch. I hadn't even seen him,
there! I sat down next to him.

"It's nice, here." He said to me.

He usually studies in his room, but he chose to study out in the living
room, with the soft Christmas lights around him. How nice! I loved that!

I'm going to miss Luke so much! So much, that I applied for another foreign
exchange student through Pacific International Academy. I hope I get another
Luke! They should make more Lukes! He is so fun to have around! So kind!
So polite! So fun to feed American food!

Luke enjoyed our Thanksgiving with us. I have to thank my cousin Evie and
Jack, from the bottom of our turkey stuffed hearts!

I came home and bought a turkey so that we'd have left overs to experience!
Must... have... leftovers!

Well, see you tonight! I hope?!? Please, come to Pietros, tonight. Bring
an unwrapped gift for the kids if you like, but it's not necessary! Just
seeing you there will make me so, so, happy happy!

And after that, finally.... I get to go home to my river! This is the longest
period of time that I've been away from the river, and I am SO homesick!
Riversick! RevSick! Billsick! Mollysick! I miss them all so much! I'm coming
home, you guys!

Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
4, 2013

Hey guys! I think... I THINK that "One Last Cast"
is our winner for the toy contest, winning a Lamiglas Rod! I say I "Think"
because I'm nervous, after my last mistake!

But, I think so!

The party was a blast! I had fun, sitting at the front table. I was able
to meet all the people that came in the door. Even non ifishers!

My brother is to be thanked from the bottom of our little toy collecting
hearts, as he brought almost all of the employees at General Transportation!
My oh my! Thank you, General Transportation! What a great group of people
you have!

The ifishers that came were so fun to have around and visit with! I sure
wish more of you had joined in! Although we collected 354 toys, and did
really well, it was just a little light on ifishers! What happened, you
guys? Traffic? Weather? Just too busy? I missed you!

I'm off to the coast, I think. Not sure, due to the weather, but I'm going
to try!

Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
7, 2013

Like I said... again! I thought that the
winner of the toy guessing contest was One Last Cast, but unfortunately,
he didn't do the second part of the contest. Thanks to the ifish membership
for bringing this to my elderly attention!

Man, am I making mistake after mistake, or no? Yes!

So, our winner is... (drumroll....) TCox19!
Tcox won a Lamiglas rod for Christmas!
Yay! And no one deserved to win more, as he actually attended the party!
How novel! lol

You guys, one way or another, I'm going to get more people from ifish attending
that party. If I need to prod you with a wading staff, I will! It is just
too good to miss. It makes you feel so good! I want you to feel good!

I'm at the coast, and man is it cold, here! The moisture in the air makes
it seem oh-so much colder! Then, the wind picks up and blasts you in the
face, and I can't stand it out there!

I told Bill the other night before it snowed, that if we woke to snow, I'd
jump up and down 10 times. Well, I made it to 6 before I realized that I'm
no longer 20 years old. I was able to jump 10 times later, but not before
my coffee! I was excited about the snow, but the dogs? They went wilders!
That made me laugh so hard! I love watching kids in the snow! And they are
my kids!

We went for a walk, or tried to, last night!

Click to

That was fun, but oh boy did it feel good to get back inside!
Willy just doesn't get why I can't stand it out there! I want a fur coat
like he has!

I want to talk about the changes we have had on ifish, but I guess not today.
But, we have been through so much! I am so looking forward to settling in
with our new "owners". It's so hard to be bought and sold and
go through the changes that happen. I had no idea that we would have to
go through this twice. Once is hard enough! But, we are going to make it!

I have to tell you how weird it is to be "ifish Jennie". That
means that I am associated with ifish forever! No matter if I step back
a bit, it's always mine. Mine, when it is good, and mine, when it is bad!
I am forever associated!

I used to always get the "Oh! I love ifish! Are you Jennie!?!"
and now, when things are tough, I get, "Are you Jennie? What's up with
ifish? I can't get on!" I mean, I still get the good, but I'm getting
used to the questions, too, now.

If you are having trouble getting on ifish, please let me know and I will
work with you on it!

Alright, so I talked about what's on my mind a little bit, but I'll go into
detail, later. We need to stick it out and stick together, OK?

I tried to step down a bit, earlier, but I just can't watch ifish have any
trouble. I'm here! I'm here!

December 9, 2013

I'm so happy it is disgusting!

Way back when, Bill and I were doing an interview with Bill Monroe, (who
refers to himself as "Your other Bill! :) ) and my Bill, (Hedlund)
turned to Mr. Monroe and said, "Have you ever seen anyone so "up"
before?" You can find that interview scanned at the bottom of the page,

Well, let me tell you. There have been times I haven't been so "up."
But, I do have my ups in life! I'd say, most of the time, I'm up.

When found my son dead in his room, I most certainly was not "up".
Let me tell you. This is the truth.

When my aorta dissects, I am not "up". When I heard the words
"It is cancer", I wasn't up, either. But to every down, there
is an up!

Like last night. I was reading a list of symptoms I was told to journal,
regarding my chemo experience. Reading those awful symptoms made me feel
"up!" I no longer have those symptoms! Hurrah! My health isn't
great right now, but my feet are no longer burning like they are on fire,
and I'm not nauseous all day and night. And I have hair growing long and
full! That makes me feel so good!

I know what down feels like, so that makes me so appreciative to be up!
We need to have those downs in our lives, so that we can appreciate the
flip side! Mine are a little more down that others, I think, maybe not...
but I think that's why I get so up! Or, maybe I'm bi polar! LOL. Whatever
it is, I much prefer the up!

This morning I got up from bed so excitedly! I was trying to figure out
why I was so happy, and then I knew. It's because morning is my favorite
time of day! I love drinking coffee and having that quiet time to myself
to look over ifish, to write, to read e mail from my friends, right before
I take Willie out to run. This is "my" time!

But wait-- It couldn't be my "favorite" time of day,
because... wasn't I just telling Bill last night that night time was my
favorite time of day? Well, yes I was!

I love that section of time between dinner and sleep. That's my
time of day! That lovely time, when I can lay down in my awesome bed, relax,
watch TV or read. That's my favorite time of day!

Wait a minute...

I guess life is my favorite time of day. Life is good, because it's not
death! I know what time that is, and I have been darn close more than once!

But, if I think about it, death isn't all that bad, either, because that's
when I get to go to Heaven and see my Father in Heaven! Oh, shoot. I guess
I'm just glad to exist!

And in between all my "favorite times of day", are my "favorite
moments". I had one of those fleeting favorites yesterday! I was trying
to explain in a board comment, what our ifish forum, Life
in General
, (and actually, ifish.net) was all about. Why I
created it, etc...

I was typing out all the things that I wanted ifish to be about, when I
created it. I wanted it different. Not a place to complain, but a place
to share what is good in life. You know, what brings us together... and
all of the sudden, I started quoting Philippians 4:6.

The thing is, I'm a Christian. But, I know that posting about religion divides
us, on the board. We have a place for God's word, or religious beliefs on
the board, and it's in the Angler's

Actually, I try..(and fail miserably!) to make the chapel a place for every
body, no matter what religion. My pastor laughed at me, when I said this
is how it was going to be. "Impossible!" He said. I said, "It's
a place where we all can pray or uphold one another, regardless of what
religion you believe in." Oh, it's hard!

Anyhow, I was trying to explain why I was closing a religious thread, and
it made me realize that it's the same as what I wanted for the entire site!

This is a quote from the Angler's chapel, and I think it should be spread
to all of the boards. ALL of ifish! Not the religious aspects, so to speak,
but the reason why ifish exists. To edify encouragement.

Why can't ifish be all about edifying encouragement? For every thread, and
every post and every body?!? Sometimes I think about starting a website
just for that. A place where you can talk about anything. Not a fishing
website, or a sewing website, but a website where you talk about anything,
but you MUST edify encouragement, you MUST be nice. You MUST make someone's
day better, when you post there! Ha! What a concept!

Here is the intro to the chapel:

"Welcome all, to
the Angler's chapel

Our personal walks may be much different than anyone needs to know, here.
Please try to leave any differences at the door step, and join hands with
us as one. It can be done in this short time we have together!

Philippians 4.6
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are]
honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever
things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be]
any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

This little forum is based on Christian Faith, of which I
personally believe with all of my heart!"

-The key to my happiness, is my faith in Jesus Christ. If
you want to read more of my introduction to the Angler's Chapel, please
find it, here.

What I learned yesterday is that this is why I started ifish in the first
place. This is what I wanted for my website. A place for everyone to come
together to encourage one another. Fishing was fun! Nothing but fun, at
the time, and I wanted to share that fun! Simple, right? Ha! NOT.

I wanted a place on the interweb where when I couldn't be out fishing, I
could be IN fishing! Because it was FUN!! I wanted to recreate that fun,
when I couldn't be out fishing. I wanted us fishers to make each another
feel better! To share happiness and fun and good things!

I don't know how and why it has become not so much that, and much of the
other. (UGLY). Politics, and religious battles, and hateful comments to
one another. What a disgrace it is, sometimes, to see ifish members be so
awful to one another!

Please, please, when you post on ifish, especially in this Christmas Season,
let's try to edify encouragement and post about what is good, what is lovely,
and everything that is says in Philippians 4:6!!!

Even if you aren't a Christian, this is such great advice to live by! Even
if you aren't Christian, you cannot deny that Jesus had pretty darn good
advice on life!

Not only on the Angler's Chapel, not only on ifish, but every day, in every
way, we should follow this advice!!

So, go make someone happy! Encourage them! And speak only what is true,
what is honest, what is ... well, Philippians 4:6!

I'm going to print that verse off, and put it in my purse, or paste it to
my face!-- and I'm going to try to only think and speak everything it says,
there! Wow. That's one tough thing to do, but I'm going to give it a go!
Join me?

December 13, 2013

Water Smile Vertebrate Boat Fisherman

Just love these memories!

Yakutat, AK.

...and it's back to the city. Boo hoo.

I've had such happy-happy here! I don't wanna go back!

But, I do miss my "kids". You know, David, Luke, Sargie, Tammy...
Well, Tammy is more like my co Mother. :)

I have some thoughts that I want to talk about, but I'll leave it till later.

Till then, off I go! Hope you have a grand weekend!

December 17, 2013

This is the day that the Lord Made! Let's rejoice and be glad
in it!

OK, so it's supposed to have those "haths" and Hath
nots" in it, but I don't talk like that.

So, in my words, "This is a day that God made! Let's rock!"

That made me smile. :)

I was reading this really neat thing on facebook, where a fellow believer
had one of those goose bump moments where God pretty plainly speaks to you.
I mean, one of those things where you KNOW that God is with you, and does
something where you have no doubt, whatsoever that something happened because
of God. I adore those moments! They don't happen often enough, but I suppose
if they happened more often, it wouldn't be as special. Kind of like Christmas.
If we had it weekly, it would be no big deal. Would it?

I had one of those moments a couple years ago. One of those times that had
God written all over it.

I was having financial difficulties. It was right after a terrible flood
in Tillamook, and right before Christmas.

I was getting my hair done, and I overheard this lady talking about how
all of her things were ruined. That all the Christmas presents were soaking
wet, and totally wrecked, along with all of her furniture, carpets, the
whole house. Just yuck!

I had been having a pity party about my financial situation just that morning.
Until... Until I heard that story.

I didn't have any money. Get it? Or, so I thought. But, I had 50 dollars
in my wallet for groceries. That's all I had, too. But, as I walked out
the door, I gave that 50 dollars to that lady. I don't even recall giving
it to her, or how I gave it to her. Did I give it to another hairdresser
to give her, or? I forget. But, I gave it to her, somehow.

I walked out, thinking, "What have I done?! I have no money, now! NONE!
I can't afford to give my money away!"

Mind you, I think I wrote about this when it happened, so my details may
be wrong. But, the general story remains the same.

I had no stinking money! And what I did have, I just gave away! DUH. What
an idiot I was!

But, I had been moved to do it, and so I did.

Next stop on my list of errands was the Post office. I walked into the post
office, and pulled out a non return addressed letter. Totally normal looking.
I opened it up and out floated a 50 dollar bill! Do you believe that?! I
mean, it was no more than 10 minutes, after I gave my 50 away!
Oh! I found
the original story! It's here!

See? I knew there was more to the story, and that some of it is wrong. Inside
the envelope it read, "You Bring Joy To So Many. When Asked
Why God Chose Me For These Challenges, The Answer Was Because You Are Strong
And Will Show Others How To Believe.

Thanks "

That's all! That's all they wrote! Now, that, that my dear readers is God!

I just think it's so neato! I love that story, and I love to hear other
people's stories like that! Whoo hooo! What a way to start my day!


I'm going to go Christmas Shopping today. Please send patience my way! I'm
going to need it! Yesterday, of all days, I chose to go do my shipping.
Ha! That was fun! NOT!

December 19, 2013

Plant Banana Food Fruit Natural foods

Whoo hooo! The new Ninja!
Which one do
YOU like?

I am pickled tink to see the new Kwikfish for this year! Whoo

I love it! PLUS, it is going to have gold lettering for the ifish.net name
and the Ninja name! Classy! I think it is going to be absolutely gorgeous!

Tell us what you think!

December 19, 2013

This is one of those painful days where all I can do, is just
to lay in bed, most of the day. I'm finally up, but, man oh man, do I hurt.

It isn't everything. It is my right, most troubled eye. I can't keep track
of how many surgeries I've had in each or what eye, but this is the one
that continues to hassle me.

Not to get into a long, sordid story, (if you want that, you can read "All
my eye surgeries
, a daytime drama!)

But, to make a very long story shorter, I remain to have what they call
"blebs" in my eye, where they tried to sew holes together, where
they went in for surgery.

As you know, I have a connective tissue disorder called Marfan
. With this disorder, my tissue sometimes does not connect.
Guess what? It didn't connect or heal, after surgery. So, a

After several trials of putting drops of acid in my eyes, (Now, THAT hurts!)
and weekly injections in my eye, (That sounds awful, but doesn't hurt that
much, past the thought of it), I still have holes in my eyes. Both of them!
I joke with God about it. "Thank you, Lord, for my holy eyes!"
And, I do thank him. They work! Most of the time!

A couple holes were successfully covered and thus, closed by donor scleral
tissue, and those are fine, but a couple holes just give me fits. Absolute

Once, when I was a young parent, Andrew, I believe it was, picked up one
of those little golden books, and somehow hit me in the eye with a corner
of the page. It tore my cornea, and it hurt really badly. I mean, nearly
intolerably. This is how this feels, today. I can't sleep. I can't rest.
I can't... anything! I just want to scream.

I was OK this morning. I woke, feeling pretty fine. The only problem was
that I had a bump on my lip. Guess what? I have a big old, ugly cold sore
on my lip! Gee, thanks, Santa! I'm the only girl with a Christmas ornament
on her lip! I'm in hiding for a week, I guess! I haven't had one of these
in years. I think I must be under stress, because that's when I used to
get them. Either that, or sunshine.

I had a corneal implant in this eye. I sure hope there isn't something wrong
going on with that. I haven't hurt this bad in ages. I tried a bag of frozen
peas on it, but my face freezes too soon to help. I tried warm. That didn't
help. I tried pain pills, and it didn't touch it. I don't know. I guess
it's time for the eye doc, if it isn't better by tomorrow.

I count the minutes, the hours, when will this get better!?!?! I keep having
to dry my eyes. They water like a river. Computers are NOT good, but I had
to do something! Since I can't really read, I'm writing! I don't often ask
for prayer, but I'm begging you! I need a miracle! I want this gone! I'd
take 20 injections in my eye, for this pain! Drop acid in them! Anything
is better than this! If I were a dog, I'd put me out of my misery!

Pheh. Do I sound pitiful? I am!

I used to have these muscle aches when I was little, when I'd just lay on
my bed and cry. I don't have those any more, and I thank God that I don't,
but man, oh man. I do have this, and that's all I'm doing today. It does
remind me of my youth!

Well, other than that, I'm just darn spiffy! I am going to attempt to wrap
some Christmas presents. Just keep the edge of that paper away from my eyes!
I know! I'm wearing glasses for added protection!

I have to thank God, because you know this is the best vision that I've
ever had! It is the result of several eye surgeries, several lens implants,
and retinal detachments, and vitrectomies. Yes, in duplicate. But, add them
all up, and I can see! It's a great feeling to be able to see, when you
lived for a long time, without. It's a darned miracle!

When I was little, I would wake up in my little blue painted room, and everything
would be a soft, pastel blue-blur. I would wonder and dream what it would
be like to be able to see, first thing in the morning, without putting glasses
on. I am blessed with that miracle every day, now! My "contacts"
are sewn right into my eye. That is such a miracle!

Yes, I hurt. I have pain that is driving me batty, but I still... even now,
feel like the luckiest girl on earth! I must be nuts, but think about all
the miracles that I have experienced! I have lived through an aortic dissection!
A collapsed lung that was trying to push my heart over to the other side
of my chest! I see! I was told I'd be gone by 35 and I'm 53! I'm alive!

I guess my eye doesn't hurt that bad.... ! and even if it does,
I can take it!

Father? Thank you for all the blessings that I have been given!

Sorry to go all religion on you, but sometimes I do that. I just can't help

What do I try next? Since the peas didn't help, maybe I'll try frozen corn.

Oh! Oh! The whole reason I thought about writing was this: I was hurting
so badly, and I took my tennis shoes off and put on a pair of Ugg boots.
Oh, my! They felt so awesome! I was so thankful for those warm, cuddly boots
on my feet! I think it's because when something else hurts so badly, you
appreciate the good things in life, all the more! I just thought that was
profound! LOL

The moral of this story is, "If your eye hurts, go put your Uggs on!"

Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
22, 2013
Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass

Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass

A Christmas Story (With

Twas the night before Christmas
and a fragile child lay in bed,

What were those sad thoughts, that raced through his head?

"Will Santa forget me?" A tear fell down his cheek.

Everything! Even Christmas! It all seemed so bleak.

This sweet little child, with his heart filled with fear, didn't know that
Ifish and General Transportation were Santa's helpers this year!

D & H Transfer drove
a big truck to pick up toys

Just for the hospital that kept safe, those girls and boys!

He drifted to sleep fitfully,

but he awoke in the night-

He thought he saw a sleigh in the sky,

lit up against the snowfall, so bright?

Christmas morning he woke
to sounds of great cheer!

Had Santa NOT forgotten any of them, this year!?
He heard laughter
and excitement and boys and girls squeals!

And in one gift- just for him! A brand new rod and reel!

That little boy, he got
better, and he grew up to be

A good man who worked at "General Transportation" as a trainee,

He joined a website named ifish, who had a tradition,

of gathering toys for children who were in the hospital, and now this is
his mission!

Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass

God bless all those people at Randall Children's Hospital,
who help all those children to have a very Merry Christmas! Thank God for
my brother, who inspired the people at General Transportation to join in
the effort.

Thank you to Pete and his daughter, Madeleine, who come every year to count
the presents and to help pack them on the truck!

I'm just so thankful to D & H Transfer, because every year, no matter
what, they come with a big, shiny truck that takes the toys to the Hospital!

Thank you to Sherri, (from D & H!) for all of her inspiration and good
cheer! She always makes me laugh, and calms my fears that no one will attend!

Thank you to Amp, for sitting with me at the front, and for all of the people
that come, bringing toys and making this all possible!

I feel like I'm one of those people accepting some kind of award, but the
award isn't mine. The award goes to every single person who attended, whether
you brought a present or not! Whether you drove a truck or not, and wherever
you work, and whatever website you belong to!

made so many children happy, and as I await Christmas Morning
in my family, I know that I will wake, knowing that some little child in
the hospital, this year, is going to be excited and happy to open a gift
that without you, wouldn't have that gift!

It just makes Christmas for me! Like, TOTALLY! Christmas to me, means so
much more than just family, since we started this tradition! Thank you for
that, too!

December 24, 2013

Wow! It is really the night before Christmas! It really is!
What happened? Just yesterday I was laying out in the back yard, sunning
myself! The world is just zipping by!

Thank God my eye is better, but man oh man, I'm just not very well. I can
tell that my immune system is just shot. I'm trying to take vitamins, and
eat spinach salads, but nothing seems make me better.

I'm always biz, biz, busy. Too busy?

I wish I could take a day off and just rest. Or maybe a month?

Christmas is hard. It's a job. I know that all Mothers can agree. But, I
see on facebook all these awesome Moms and Grand Moms baking their Christmas
goodies, and making it sound all so joyful! How on earth do they do it?
I can barely get the fudge made!

Mothers are the center of the household. "If Momma aint happy,
aint nobody happy."

Mothers are the center of Christmas. They are what makes Christmas, Christmas.
I firmly believe that. It doesn't have to be that way. There are plenty
of non traditional families who pull it off, just fine with their own, peaceful
traditions. (Peace. What peace?) They may even have more fun, because they
are more relaxed? I don't know.

But, because of my super heroic Mother, this is how it is done in our family.
My Mother was so heroic. She may have been exhausted, but exhaustion to
her, meant success, I think.

On Saturday mornings during December, she'd yell up to a sleeping family
of five kids, "Christmas is clean!" (Uggg, I detested that!)!
She made triple super batches of at least 10 different kinds of goodies.
I think she started in November, the year before? LOL. German cookies that
had to spend time resting in a bin... Lebkuchen, pfeffernusse, spritz cookies,
yeast breads, and candies, and... oh my! She taught piano lessons, raised
five kids, cooked all the above, and also, held an annual Christmas party
for 25 piano students, Moms and Grandmas, and provided most of the goodies!
Oh, my!

It's no wonder that I have such expectations of wonder.

And I can't do it! I can't!

My Mother was the center of Christmas. She made Christmas happen! Now, my
sister Teri has taken over the lead of Christmas, and she is the same hero
as my Mom. How does she do it?

I feel like I'm chasing my tail. I do and I do, and I don't get things done!

Thing is, ever since Andrew died, I have this super expectation that I have
to make Christmas happy, even when it isn't. Now it is even harder to make
Christmas a miracle for David. How can I make Christmas the happiest time
of the year, when things aren't very happy? Holidays are a tough time, for
those of us, who have lost someone close. Every says so, so it must be.

If only.... If only I could de program myself from family traditional expectations,
all of that which I was raised, and make Christmas something different,
all together? Being disabled, that would match my abilities, so much better!
I could make it a time of rest, and yell out, at 1:00 PM, to everyone still
sleeping, "Christmas is a peaceful chaos! Christmas is messy, and we
don't care!" Oh, yes! That would be so fun!

I once saw a comic strip of a tangled mess of Christmas lights, still in
a loop, hung to a single plant holder hook, on the front of the house. The
caption read, "My wife asked me to hang the lights."

Perfect! That's my Christmas!

I can't do it. I'm programmed for life to try and try. but each year, I
never come close to what my Mom did. Christmas must be everything to everybody
I'm responsible for, and I'm responsible to make it perfect.

Every present must be carefully thought out, and exactly what they wanted.
Creative, surprised, perfect!

My lights are hung on the front of the house, without a bend or twist. Perfect.
Just as Mom would have it. Everything in my life is still judged by my Mother,
even now that she is gone. It's always, "What would my Mother do?"
Agh! She haunts me with perfection!

Every year, we had "Sweet Petals" for Christmas morning. I've
yet to make them. The
recipe is here.
Better get on it!

I hope that's the right one. I don't know where the original is! Shoot.
Another worry, right? Well, it's Christmas! Another failure of mine!

I also have to go get one last present. It's hard to make Christmas so special,
when you don't have a lot of cash to work with. Yikes!

I will succeed, right? Christmas will be merry, merry, merry!

Sometimes I wish I could lay back, give food to the poor, make Christmas
for someone else, special. A family who couldn't afford it. And for us?
A day of rest and celebration.

But, I don't wish that, really. If I did, I would do it. I know that David
would be more than happy if I told him that this year, we were doing that.
It is me. It is me that wants him to be afflicted with the Christmas madness,
and to carry it on to his family, some day. --and it is because of my heritage.
Thank you, dear Mother.

After all, it's Christmas... and it's tradition!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go make the sweet petals!

December 25, 2013

Waking up on every Christmas morning, I can feel magic in
the air! No matter the stress from the days that approach it, they are all
erased, and joy fills my heart!

The radio is softly playing Christmas carols, my scentsy burner is burning
wonderful smelling Christmas smells. Cranberry and pine, and who knows what,
but it's delicious! The tree is lit, and all of my Holiday lights are lit.
It's quiet out. Peaceful. Joyful.

Jesus Christ was born, today! Hallelujah!

And, for your Christmas enjoyment, please see this video. It brought tears
to my eyes. I don't know these kids, but God bless them for such an amazing
performance! I really, really enjoyed this! I hope you do, too!

Merry Christmas to the biggest and 'bestest' family, that I could ever wish
for! I love you, all! The members of ifish are the best present a girl could
ever ask for! You are pretty much everything to me! I long for the people
that have left ifish to come back, to understand why we have rules, and
to help us to uphold them, so that we can be one big family, never, ever
to be separated again. Know that I miss you, no matter what.

What is the Secret of Christmas?

Click it to zoom it bigggggg!

Automotive lighting Gas Plant Font Grass
26, 2013

And, let's prep for the New Year! I found this interesting
article that I think we all could benefit by reading and heeding.
Click here.

I found I was guilty of many of these! Especially, reading my e mail too
late at night. I'm not doing that, any more! Plus, I'm turning off my bleeping,
beeping tones that tell me something is new. Goodbye, intrusives tech noises!
Hello, music to my ears! -Silence!

You don't need it in the boat, you don't need it on a train, you don't need
it in the sunshine, you don't need it in the rain!

| JENNIEhttps://www.ifish.nethttps://www.ifish.net/Feedback.html



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