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2, 2012

I missed saying "Happy December!". Well, I missed
being first, that is. Happy December! A Little bit late. Still the same!!

Fact is, I was really sick, yesterday. Woke up feeling weird. Bizarre,
actually. Some kind of little electrical shocks that I've only felt right
before when I getting a fever. I had no energy whatsoever. Even so, I
tried to fight thru the fog. I took a shower, (in slow-mo) played with
Willie (with great effort), and drove to Costco (in a daze). Going to
Costco was something I've been meaning to do for days.

I wandered around and found the doggy treats. Two for one. Yippee... I
bought batteries for Willie's flashlight addiction. Why, when I'm so poor,
do I put up with his silly needs? Why? Because it makes my life easier
if Willie has his flashlights. That's why. I know. I know... "Oh,
brother". I'm saying that to myself, also.

I have been wanting a warm pair of boots for so long, and yet Willie gets
his batteries for his flashlights, instead. Oh, brother!

My wading boots have a leak in them, and yet Willie gets his batteries.
Oh, brother!

I would die for a pedicure, but Willie... Oh, Willie! You are so spoiled!

I was to go to the coast this week. I have been so homesick. But, this
weekend there were two parties that I really wanted to attend. One was
a girlfriends thing from high school. We get together and trade ornaments
and just catch up and giggle. It started last year. I missed it both last
year and this year! I wanted so badly to giggle! To just be with the girls
and visit and giggle and have a glass of wine! I so rarely have a glass
of wine!

Both Bill and I were so disappointed I wasn't coming home, but man, I
wanted to go to that party! Like I mentioned, however, I was sick. Really
sick! I had that feeling of doom as soon as I woke. I couldn't get going,
even though I got going. After Costco, though, I caved. I just collapsed.
I got into my pajamas and went to bed, telling David he was in charge
of Willie. I was down. Down for the count.

Frankly, I felt so bad, I nearly drove to the hospital. That bad! Something
was really wrong, and it wasn't the regular wrong. Was it because of a
broken heart? Sometimes I wonder. I can't seem to cry about Andrew, lately.
I'm all bottled up. Does that cause the flu? My heart is so broken, and
yet... I can't cry.

David took Willie to the puppy park. That was so nice!

Oddly enough, two weeks prior I was talking to a gal at the park, and
she was telling me about this homeopathic remedy for the flu. It's called...
(I have to go copy and paste this. It's hard to spell, let alone pronounce!)
"Oscillococcinum" and it's made by Boiron. So, I ordered it
from Amazon. It came yesterday in the mail! Perfect!

I dissolved a dose every six hours on my tongue, and can you believe it?
I feel SO much better, today! Is it a placebo, or does it really work?
Was I just wanting it to work? You know, who cares? I feel better! So
much better! I am ordering more of that stuff!

Today is a party at another friends. I don't know, though, if I dare go.
I know that I have or "had" something and if it was something,
it's probably contageous, even if I feel better. I dislike it when contageous
folks get around me, so... I think I'll just rest and stay put, today.

I can't wait till the Christmas party! December fourth, you guys, and
guess what? Santa may be there, after all! Bring those kids, you guys
and let's have a party!

And, after that, I can't wait to go home to the coast! I'll tell you....
distance does make the heart grow fonder... both for the river, the coast,
and for Revvie and for Bill!

I can't wait to play with Revvie... to let Willie run on the river, and
for me, to fill my vision with what I love most.... The riv-- I mean...

Love you, Bill! (And the river, too!)

December 5, 2012

... and it's off to the coast!

We had an absolute blast at the party last night! What a great success!
I was so panicked no one would show. On the thread asking who would be
there, very few replied. At about 5:30 PM, we had about 20 people. Dave,
my brother, brought 10 and 10 from ifish. I looked around and thought,
"OK! If this is it, next year we'll just do an online toy drive."

But, then.... the masses arrived! It was crazy busy! The toys mounted
and Santa came a "ho! ho! ho!" ing!

There was laughing and hugging and all sorts of smiles for miles! Kids
and parents and fishermen and women, oh my! Did I tell you I had a great
time? Well, I did!
are some awesome pictures, thanks to our photographer, Pete!-
please don't look at how I've aged! Wrinkles around my eyes like mad!
I can't believe I'm 50, until I look at those pics! Yep! I'm 50, alright!
Even 52~!

Time for botox! ... Wish I could afford it! I think I would do it! You
know, to make my pictures look how old that I feel like I am! 19! Isn't
it weird that your body gets old, but you feel still like you are a young
adult? No fair! And, what else is no fair... Notice that men get more
handsome and distinguished, and women just get wrinkles? Some women age
so well, but doesn't look like I did! Too much sunshine for me!

Off to the tanning beds! LOL.

Actually,. I think I might. It feels so good, that who cares? I don't!
Love me or not! It feels good!

Anyhoo, we are going to have a finals vote on the Kwikfish.... Just a
kwik two day one, so that I can get the final into production on time.
Just know that those are our rules. We WILL be having a two day finals
of the top five kwikfish!

December 8, 2012

Every morning I wake up, put on some warm but comfy clothes
and head out to the river's edge. I've been actually venturing in the
water a little bit, wearing my USIA waders. Man, those are nice.

There was a time, a phase I went through, of only wearing breathables,
but I'm sure enjoying the warmth of those USIA waders, lately. Plus, it's
nice to be able to feel confident going in the water. No leaks! No worry
of going over knee boots, and no worries about being chilly in breathables.
I'm set to go up to my chest, even if I dare not!

Speaking of going deep into the river, I've lost my balance, since my
heart surgery and my leg surgeries. I'm just not as steady. So, it's a
darn good thing, if I'm wading, that I add a life jacket. I used to poo
poo that idea, but not any more! Go ahead, people who pass me by in drift
boats! Yes! I'm wearing a life jacket while bank fishing! I'll be the
one laughing, if I don't drown when I fall!

But, really, I am rediscovering the luxury of having the entire USIA set
up. The warmies underneath, the waders over that, and my USIA jackets
to keep me toasty! It's so nice when it isn't raining. Then, I have to
pull a rain slicker over all. But, when it's just cold, I'm set! USIA
head to toe!

It's so nice to be able to take off the waders when I come inside and
keep my warmies on. Especially when I go in and out to fish, thru out
the day!

Willie is having a blast, doing this fishing thing. As soon as he sees
me going for my rod, his tail begins to vibrate! His tail doesn't wag.
Nope. It vibrates.

I'm just sick to share with you that I'm fairly certain Willie has hip

Off to the vet to get a diagnosis. When he gets up from rest, his hind
legs are so stiff! He bunny hops and that, I've read, is a sure sign.
He bunny hops after he is tired, running, and when he gets up from rest.
I'm just sick about this. He's only a little over a year old. However,
they say that the best surgeries, the ones that are most effective, are
done as young dogs. There is no cure, however. I sure hope he doesn't
live a life of pain. More than that, I would just die if he had to be
put down. He has already long ago, taken my heart.

Willie is a very special animal. From what I have learned in life, usually
animals that are so special, have medical problems. It sure adds up.

I'll keep you updated on that situation. I'm going to call the puppies
original owners to see if there is any hip problems down the line.

Well, off to eat my bean soup and fresh bread. Perfect food for a perfect
winter day!

Oh! I have to tell you about a super deal! The Honey Baked Ham company
sells ham bones for 5.99. I think that's how much, anyhow. But, it's a
heck of a deal! They have so much ham on them! Enough for a ham dinner,
ham sandwiches, and then the ham bone and beans! We made at least three
dinners out of 5.99! They use the ham for sandwiches, and when it gets
down so far, they just wrap them in a bag, and sell them like that. Wonderful
deal! Go get one! But, leave some for me!

December 10, 2012

Willie probably has hip displasia... great! And now, he has kennel cough to boot! I took him for his shots and they gave him the kennel cough shot, (what do they call it, Borditella?) and now he has a horrid cough. They say it's a live culture, so it may have given him the real deal. Shoot! Poor thing! I was up all night last night, trying to figure out if he was choking or coughing. He sounds awful!

I'm so tired. Think I'll go to bed early.
Oh! Remember, please, to vote on the top five finals for the 2013 Kwikfish!

December 13, 2012

I swore it would never happen to me. And, it won't. I will fight it till the day I am taken by the hand by my Heavenly Father.

I will never become bitter, no matter what.

Take everything earthly from me! Hang me high, put me thru terror and pain, break my heart into little itty bits, but it's not going to happen.

I will not ever become bitter.

And thus, the Christmas party will go on!

It was so awesome! My brother David brought a myriad of folks from his work, and oh, how wonderful it was! They brought gifts, and even those who couldn't attend, sent gifts! I have so much to be thankful for! You can find joy, if you try!

When I was a child, I saw bitter now and then. I remember playing that May Day game, where you drop off little flower baskets on people's doorsteps, ring the bell and hide. An elderly "bitter" woman came to the door and shouted at us. Oh, that had an impact on me! Never will I be that person!

I will giggle with glee when the snow falls. I will still have trouble sleeping on the night before Christmas. I'll stay up all night, the night before a fishing trip, thinking, "Is it time, yet!?" I love those feelings! It's fun to be that way!

Truthfully, though, I am having a bit of trouble this Christmas. Even so, it's going to be fun and exciting and that wonderful expectation of Santa Claus will never die! David and I will have a good Christmas. A fun Christmas! We will! Christmas must go on!

My heart has been broken in two, and I am struggling. I search high and low for anything that will bring a smile. It's not as easy, this Holiday Season, but I still find joy.

The other day I asked David to watch Willie while I went to Clackamas Town Center to shop.
We both decided, instead, to go get a Christmas tree. I'm so glad I did! That was the day, that very afternoon, when I would have been right there in the middle of that shooting. Thank God for Christmas Trees, and the fact that I still wanted one, even though my heart is broken over losing Andrew, my first child. My baby. My 25 year old, 6 foot two, eyes of blue son. He is gone. But, Christmas lives on.

I can't even cry, lately, my heart is so bruised. I'm all stopped up. I wish I could cry, so badly. I know it is there, buried like an infection under a tough layer of skin, somewhere.

I have watched sad movies with the soul intention of release, but I watch them clear through, stoic and without one hint of a tear. Please! I just want to cry! I want to sob and scream and throw things! Where is my son!?!

I try not to talk about him so much around David. It was getting so that all I talked about with him, was Andrew. Although I think he gets it, men are just different about things like that. They don't talk about deep feelings and soon, I was wondering if he thought I didn't care about him, but only Andrew. I've made an effort to stop the ceaseless questions that I pointed to him. "Do you think about him all the time, like I do?" Does it seem like it really didn't happen? Like it's not true? Do you feel that way? Am I normal? Do you have that horrid scene of when it happened stuck in your brain?" Those questions... I keep them more to myself, with only an occasional blurt of a memory, or a funny story that I recall.

Andrew... I'm wearing his Christmas sweater, today. I bought it on ebay, a couple years ago, when all he wanted was a fun, old style Christmas Sweater.
I hug the sweater. I hug myself. But, it feels odd. Cold, somehow.

Andrew, with the fun scarves and silly sun glasses, and funky clothes. Andrew, with the best sense of humor. He'd have me laughing until my gut ached. Both my kids, actually, and both I can get frustrated at, and yet laugh with, in the same moment.
I could never stay upset at Andrew.

Andrew, holding up the peace sign, sitting in a child's swimming pool on a hot summer day. I have that picture both in my mind, and on my iphone. Andrew, along with Kilchis, picture after picture.

Not only do I have a tree, but I have lights outside, and all my little miniature Snoopy ornaments with musical instruments that Andrew loved. They are out. I can't be afraid of these things. I have to get them out and adore them, and still feel the joy of the Holidays.

I decorated our river house, too. The halls are all decked!

You would think that writing this would make me cry. Wouldn't you? I would. But, nope. Stoic. Solid. No tears! Just a deep, heavy sadness that sits in the bottom of my stomach. My heart. It's down there deep, in my stomach. I can feel it. Thump, thump, thump... It's not where it should be, light and in my chest. But, I'm alive, and I'm trying. I won't. I won't become bitter!

I'm just afraid that I'll lose that innocence that you have, when you are little. I'm so afraid of that! So afraid, I guess, that I refuse to let it happen. I'll force it, if I have to, but I'm not going to lose it! Not ever!

I guess you can become heart broken and still feel joy. I think bitter is different. Bitter is worse than sad. Bitter is giving up.

I haven't given up, and I won't. Not ever.

I guess I just am asking you to stay with me, here, and understand that I'm going through a tough time. I'm late at things, and I goof, and I forget. I think it's due to what I've been through. Just hang with me. This too, shall pass.
No, it will never pass, but it's got to get easier. It just has to!

And someday, I will cry again. I think, somehow, that when that happens, I will cry out any bitterness and my heart will again beat, where it's supposed to.

December 17, 2012

It's that time of year... ( when the world falls in love, every song you hear, seems to say.... Merry Christmas! May Your New Years dreams come true! And this song of mine, in three quarter time, wishes you and yours... the same thing, too!

Oh!~ I love that song! I can still play it on the piano, too! Memorized, from when I was 10 years old!!!

OK, never mind. What I was going to say is this: It's that time of year... to let me know how many kwikfish I should order! Do that, here!

Can you believe it's going to snow!? Or, maybe? I'm kind of bummed, because I was headed to the coast, thought I'd check the roads, and "packed snow!?!" Oh, no!

But, In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is Parson Brown He'll say: Are you married?

We'll say: No man,But you can do the job When you're in town! I can play that on the piano, too! I think I will!
Just hear those sleigh bells jingling. Ring-ting-tingling too. Come on, it's lovely weather. For a sleigh ride together with you. Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling, "you hoo!"
I think I'm losing my mind! I'd best you play the piano, and get these things out of my head! You can't say that I don't have the Christmas Spirit, though! I do! I do!
Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you!

Now, go let me know how many you'd like!

December 18, 2012

How many days till Christmas? Wow, time flies!

I have some present shopping done. I guess I have done as much as I can afford! How's that? It won't be a very messy morning. That's for sure! None of that "mounds of paper" to deal with, or ribbons to box up and put away. That will be nice! After all, like my Mom used to say, "Christmas is clean!" She didn't mean that, though. She meant that we couldn't sleep in on Christmas vacation, because she wanted us to mop, vacuum, dust, etc. Well, I'm taking it a bit more literally. Christmas DAY will be clean!

I really wanted to go to the coast. I knew I was in a silly mood yesterday for a reason. It snowed! Sure brings out the kid in me! I was so excited to see it! So was Tammy. I kept peeking out the window, and opening the front door. "Snow, you guys! Snow!"

Willie and I went for an evening walk to the park and romped around in a slight covering of white stuff. It was fun! I love how puppies share that excitement! Snow! Snow! It snowed!

It's all mushy and melted this morning, however, snow is still falling. It sure is beautiful. I think my Mom instilled that love of snow in me. Or, what is it? Just something that makes you feel like a kid. Gotta love it!

So, I'm stuck here in Oregon City. There is to be more snow on the coast range. I could probably make it home, but I'm not going to chance it.

Instead, I'm going to Goodwill to look for something that David needs for Christmas. A rain jacket! A nice one, so that he doesn't get so wet, taking Willie for a walk!

I've searched Craigslist, but came up with mostly men's mediums. David is a big guy. He needs an X large. Hope he isn't reading this!

OK, off I go. Wish me luck. Santa must make a mess on Christmas Day! Wrappings, everywhere! Christmas is NOT clean!

December 20, 2012

I need to learn to be calm. I need to learn to be peaceful. Especially with my life going on. Man, oh man. Why so many challenges, Lord? Yes, you've told me that you only give me what I can handle. I get it. You think I'm super woman! But, come on! Any chance you are wrong this time? Any chance you have me mixed up with someone strong? Cuz, I feel like a wimp!

So, I'm dealing with this house thing for what seems like forever. It was supposed to be a quick thing. The guys were just going to put in some extra insulation. But, no, they fell through the ceiling and I had insulation everywhere. Then, the heat turned on and everywhere became really everywhere! I have insulation in my radio dials! Between my eye lashes! Between my toes! I mean, everywhere!

So, whilst holding up the ceiling so it wouldn't totally fall, they dragged 2x4s over my new bamboo floor and now I have deep scratches and holes all over!

I get it! My ceiling was falling. Yes. We care about that more than the floors. I agree! But, bummer! They were so new and shiny!

If I have it replaced, would I do bamboo again? What is a better choice, about the same price? Any suggestions?

It took about four weeks for me to get any insulation back into the house, so I paid a one month exorbitant power bill.
Wait! I was doing this to lower my power bill!

And then, they brought in a cleaning crew. Or, so they thought. Instead, it was a janitor. A really nice janitor at that. He had a boat on his car! I liked him immediately! But-- he grabbed my magazine table to use as a step stool. It broke under his weight, leaving a deep and long scratch on my bedroom floor! Noooooo! That floor was perfect, still! But! Not any more! :)

The janitor man volunteered to pay for the table, but he was so nice. I told him to forget it. But, I hadn't seen the scratch at that point. I found that, today. Ouch.

As I was explaining this to the supervisor, who came to check out the work, yesterday, Willie lay in my lap. They love Willie. I started to tell them about how Willie was so active. How he couldn't hold still, ever. Willie was snoring, spread across my lap.

David countered. He said, "Mom? Ever consider that Willie is doing the same? If he could talk, he'd say, "I follow her around everywhere, and I can't get her to stop or sit still." So, he is now laying on you, holding you down, thinking, "Finally, she is down, and I'm going to lay on her to make sure she stays that way!""

Dogs do pick up human emotion. They do react to it, too. Whenever there is the least amount of arguing in the household, Willie cowers and hides. So, I can see it! I really can! Willie may indeed be trying to stop me. His wild activity mirrors mine! So, I have to learn to be calm, while dealing with things that stress me out.

I have been yearning for the coast for days, now. Yes, it upsets me. Yes, I'm homesick. When Bill calls, I nearly cry. This last time, especially, but not due to homesickness. Due to stress.

The phone rings. Bill says, "There is something wrong with your computer." Now, normally, he says there is something wrong with his, and most times, I am able to talk him thru it. But, my computer? My baby? Oh, no! It houses the weather station. I can't get home to fix it. I tried to be calm! I did! But, instead, Willie went wild! Oh, no! My mirror! My mirror says I'm not handling this well!

Bill continues... "I was trying to turn on your computer, because it died. I turned it on, but got this error: It says,
f this is the first time you have seen this Stop error screen, restart your computer. If this screen appears again,follow these steps:" At this point, I nearly blacked out. This is what is known as the blue screen of death..." Bill continued reading, but I was gone. Trying to walk Bill thru this would be like trying to tell Willie/Jennie to be calm. Neither was happening.

So, here I am. Unable to drive to the coast to fix my computer/weather station, glad that I bought carbonite, (oh, so glad!) wondering if I'll need a new computer, yet knowing I have no cash to pay for one. Knowing that David's computer broke, and he has no money to replace it... Well, sigh.

On the good side of things, I have bought nearly every Christmas present this year at Good Will! You should see the awesome things that I got, too!

But, sigh... I am strong. Really strong, God thinks.

For the last three days I have been in excruciating pain. My eye felt like I had something in it, and it hurt so bad! It's the one that doesn't have the corneal implant, but the one that has several patches and blebs. Anyhow, went to the doc, and he said it's going to be fine, (yay, no surgery!) but, I got some new drops to help with the pain. So, no problems, there. I guess I do have blessings to count.

My wonderful Doctor, Dr. Mathers is retiring. He looked at me, at the end of the visit, and said, "I'm impressed. With what you have been through, I look at you, and I'm just impressed."

I said, "Me, too! I'm impressed!"

I am! I am impressed I have been able to sustain so much. I don't look great, but my heart beats right, and I can see. I don't know, after all I've been thru, how I'm still standing. I feel like Humpty Dumpty with a better outcome.

I'm just stressed. Maybe it's all hidden Andrew stuff. I'm still not crying about Andrew. Maybe I'm just stressing stuff, instead of crying. I'd so much rather cry!

Father? Help me to cry.

I'm feeling so unsettled. I'm behind on ifish. The mods probably think I've ditched them forever. I just feel so pressed! And, even though I haven't been on the mod board, my ifish e mail keeps me busy, still!

Yay! I have to go. Someone finally bought these Craigslist speakers that I had for sale! 25 bucks! Yee haw!

Gotta go!

And please, pray for peace. Either for Willie, or for me, your choice... because we seem to reflect one another!

Gas Petal Font Magenta Electric blue
December 24, 2012

Ho! Ho! Ho!

I spent two glorious days on the river, and I want to go back! But, I'm in Oregon City wrapping presents, and getting things prepared for Christmas Day at my sister Teri's.

I called a number, cold, on a list of computer repair places and met a great guy, Gill, who is fixing up my main computer in Tillamook. It will be done on Dec. 27th. He said it will be like new. Yay! Something about a plug in for my hard drive. I won't even lose any data!
I posted this on the board the other day. Finally, I am on my laptop, and can do a bit more. I've been without any computer but my iphone for a while!

But, here is a copy of what I had to say. I am still rather speechless!
(The words before this are linked to it on the board.)

Dear ifish friends, (and I mean that, most sincerely!!!)

My computer Motherboard went kaboom. I would leave this on my column, but can't do that without my computer! So here goes my best thank you, hunt and pecking on my phone!!

I am still rather speechless but extremely grateful for the very special and generous gift that was given to me by some of my ifish friends out there.

I don't even know who to thank, and like I said, I'm barely able to talk about it! I'm still pretty choked up, and in total disbelief. Please, just know how much I appreciate and love each and every one of you. I am totally blown away!!!

You probably know that I have had a tough year or two. You probably think I have the worst luck in the world!! I'm beginning to think so, too! Sure no dull moments!

After I lost my Dad, i thought it couldnt be harder, but I got thru breast cancer, (yay!), but then my 25 year old son was taken. I loved him so much!

I have been rather bottled up. I couldn't cry. I have been filled with this odd, nervous energy, with really no emotion. I went thru the paces. I smiled. I laughed. I could look sad. i was sad! I am sad!!! But... I couldn't release it.

I've always been afraid of tsunamis!

It has been so frustrating! I hurt to the core of my soul over losing my son. He was my "six foot four, eyes I adored" son, best friend, handsome young man, -my medical Marfan buddy- who was with me nearly every doctors visit. He understood me... He was my son. What I would give to hug him, now.

Last night, Bill brought me dinner. I wasnt feeling well. He had asked to take me out to dinner, but I'm just not that interested in going out these days. I've just been so tired. Bill has been so tender to me, lately. Everyone, in fact, has been wonderful. You sure find out who your friends are, when something like this happens.

On the dinner tray was a letter in a plain white envelope.

I didn't see it at first, but when I did, I was puzzled. What did Bill want to tell me that he had to write out!? I wondered, "we'll that's an odd way to propose to me!!!!" Lol

Well it wasn't from Bill and it wasn't a proposal.

It was from a member, and it was speaking from, representing many of our members.

I got through about two lines of the very touching words before the tears came.

I looked up at Bill, and then his tears came. I hardly could read the words thru the waterfall!

And just like I thought, once they started, they flowed stronger than the Kilchis river!

I don't know what to say, but thank you!

I'm a little something else, too. Embarrassed? Undeserving feeling?! I can't put my finger on it. But, it just blows me away. But, my life seems easier to face, now. That is such a nice feeling and a huge relief! Life seems less heavy.

Thank you for being the most awesome web community in the world! I mean that. I do believe we have the world's best forum!!!

As long as I'm able, I promise to give my all for you, to do all I can to try to keep Ifish the best for you and for your children .

Anyhow, back to the shock and awe.... Oh, man. You guys and gals never cease to blow me away! This is the best neighborhood on the World Wide Web!

You are truly my family.

And... Here comes those tears again. They fall so much easier. You have unlocked a concrete block of stress, and now I'm able to release some of that tension. Again, Thank you!!!

I will do my best to give as great as you have. I will try to turn someone's frown upside down.

Because of you all, my steps are a bit lighter, my smile, a bit brighter!

May I call each and every one of you, friend.

I owe you the best of my ability in keeping this place the best forum, ever!

I love you, each and every one.

Peace be with you during this awesome season of love.


December 27, 2012

What a nice Christmas our family had! It was slow and relaxing and really nice to catch up with all of the nieces and nephews, cousins, sisters and brothers. What an awesome family I have been blessed with! Both on ifish, and at home!

Bill came to the house with Revvie and we left both Revvie and Willie home with Tammy, who wanted to spend the day at home, relaxing. Ha! Relax, with two wild pups? I'm sorry, Tammy! I am!

Tammy works so hard, going to school, working, and doing her practicum, all three! She has five days off, so she just wanted to hang out.

So, David, Bill and I did stockings and presents, and I was the recipient of a pair of Bogg boots! Yay! David got me a beautiful little purse and a head band. He did really well for a guy! Both of them did!

Then, it was off to my sister Teri's in Wilsonville.

We do a present trade. You know, the one where you pick a number, then in order, pick a present. The next person can steal yours, or open a new one.

I opened a 24 pack of Widmer beer! LOL. I don't drink much! (If at all!) I used to! Anyhow, thank goodness one of the nephews took it from me, and I got to open another. I ended up with a Moonstruck chocolate lovers package! Yay! So much more "me"!
It doesn't really matter, though, it's just fun!

If I would have kept the beer, it would have gotten used by guests and my son, David. He loves it!

So.... then, we just visited, ate tons of snacks and goodees. Bill brought smoked Springer, so he is always the most important VIP of the Christmas fun! Can't do without Springer on Christmas, but man, oh man, when you feed 30 people springer, you better be a good fishermen the next season. We have very little left in the freezer!

Then came dinner. OH MY! We all hold hands before dinner, and Jamie says a nice blessing.
Then, prime rib and turkey and side dishes, oh my! Try to walk out of that place after eating, and you are more likely to have to be rolled.

I had a blast! I love my family. Like I said, it is so nice to listen to what the nieces and nephews are doing. I am just so blessed to be a part of such a great, loving group!

I can't believe how beautiful my nephews and nieces all are! Talk about a good looking group! I meet guys on ifish and I think, "Oh! I should set them up with one of my nieces!" I'm sure they don't need any help, though!

Since Christmas Day, I've been pretty busy. I'm still hunt and pecking on an iphone to do ifish.

Tomorrow, I get to have my real computer delivered in Tillamook, and get all set back up. That's always fun. (not!)

But, it will be so nice to have the weather station back up. It will update itself, since we have the machine at home, still logging things. So, nothing will be lost, really. Except, of course, my sanity! I'm no good when things are not working right!

So... that's my update. I can't wait to get home to the coast to wet a line. It's about time I catch my first steelhead of the year! I can't believe I haven't tried but once, this year!

And then.... do you realize? It is very close to Springer season! Whoooo hooooo!

I don't know, you guys.... but for some reason, everything seems just a bit brighter, lately. Gee. I wonder why? I think I owe you all another huge THANK YOU!

December 29, 2012

I can't stand it. Poor Willie is in the pen, singing
the saddest song!

Bill bought a new mattress. I finally talked him into it. He
thought mattresses should last a life time. His has so many
hills and valleys, we'd be protected from tornadoes for life.

So, the dogs have to be in the pen, while the men are moving
our old, and putting in our new.

Also, my computer is back! So, they were in the pen, earlier,
while the computer guy came to deliver upon me, the fastest,
most awesome computer! It's like new!

You know, every day I'm in Oregon City, I go for a walk. While
I do, I used to talk to God. Now, often I talk to Andrew, too.
I sing him a song that I wrote for him. I do this out loud,
even. People might think me crazy, but it's just that I want
to talk to both Andrew and God like they are right there with
me. They are! So why not talk out loud?

Plus, I have a dual song to sing for them both, when I walk
and talk.

When I talk to God, I sing,

"And He walks with me and He talks with me

And He tells me I am His own

And the joy we share as we tarry there

None other has ever known."

When I am talking to Andrew, I sing:

"Andy walks with me Andy talks with me...

And we laugh as we walk along,

And the stuff we share

As we walk here and there,

We walk and we talk and sing songs!!

See? It works for both!

I love talking to both Andrew, and to God. Sometimes I wonder
if those that we love make up a part of what our God is. When
they pass, the love that we felt for those close to us, makes
up the Spirit of our Heavenly Father. I really like that thought.
I know it's not really biblical, but who knows? By the time
people change what was originally written, who really knows?

I like thinking that God is made up of my Mom, my Dad, my dogs,
my cats, and my son, Andrew. All of the people that love me.
And yes, when I ask for something I need, or ask for help with
a situation, they would want to help me, just like my Father
in Heaven. Because they all love me. He created me, but they
all love me. I can just see Andrew, standing by His side in
Heaven, tugging on His sleeve, saying, "God! My Mom needs
help!" I just like that! I do!

I was thinking about my fishing friend Ben, who adored Andrew.
And when Andrew showed up in Heaven, Ben saying something like,
"Well, look who is here!!!" That makes me smile, too!
Ben, take good care of my baby.

As I walk along, sometimes I ask Andrew, "Honey, I really
need help with this situation on ifish..." Just like I
used to, when he was here. Or, "Andrew? My computer is
broken! How do I fix it?"

The same goes for my Dad, when it's a question he would know.
"Dad? How do I tie this knot?"

When it comes to me, I know that my Dad has answered. I just
love the comfort that brings to me.

I feel closer to all of them, when I spend time talking to them.

When I'm done with my walk, no matter who I talked to that day,
I thank my Heavenly Father for the opportunity to spend time
with my loved ones.

I just believe that God makes it possible for me to feel their
love, on my walks. He's so good. He wants me to be happy.

Willy just wags his tail. He's just happy. No matter what! That
is what I pray for when I have no specific requests.

"Lord, make me as happy as my dog!"

29, 2012

Lookee what I did!

I do my best work, writing at the river.

Get a load of this one. I'm so talented! Dang, I have a way
with words!

OK... It's a song, and I'm going to be recording it, soon. It's
devoted to whom else, but my dog, Willie.

He flies through the trees with the greatest
of ease!

That little brown springer with white spots on his knees!

He is my Willie, willis, wiffle-be-spring tree!

(He's a springer!)

He is my pup!

A wonder mutt! but--

He drives me crazy

Wanna be lazy, but he keeps me till midnight-

Chasing the flashlight-

Willie's a nut!

Pretty good, huh? Kind of along the lines of
Shakespeare? Yeah! Oh! If you want to hear the tune of the song,
this is verse 1,001. It is below!

Come on, Sing along!

| JENNIEhttps://www.ifish.nethttps://www.ifish.net/Feedback.html



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