Joined
·
129,630 Posts
I cracked up! Stupid is as stupid does? LOL!
Now, it's my kid, so I have permission to think he's good. He's a junior in high school. The assignment is "compare and contrast". It's a college course because he ran out of high school courses to take. It's a program that they have here, called Pathways.
This is what he did with this assignment:
-----------------
Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates: Likely to Give You Diabetes
It’s the little things in life. It’s the little things that make your day brighter, the little things that make us one, and it’s the little things that make my blood boil. The next person to say “It’s the little things in life” will notice a big thing flying alarmingly quickly toward their frontal lobe. I can’t stand sayings! Nothing ups my heart-rate faster than the constant barrage of uncreative nonsense people shoot my way each day. “Stupid is as stupid does?” Well, sir, you seem to be as stupid as stupid can do. Most of these sayings that you hear plastered into nearly every conversation has two meanings; the meaning it attempts and the meaning it has. Today, we take a look at both meanings of three of my personal favorite mottos; “Live life to the fullest”, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and “Be happy with what you have.”
Just as a disclaimer: don’t attempt to live life to the fullest. Doing so may result in permanent injury to self esteem, loss of memory, loss of limb and/or a sudden need for attention from everybody around you. When people say they “Live life to the fullest” what they think they mean is they’ll try anything if it seems good. What they really mean is “I don’t take responsibility for my actions.” Living life to the fullest, in it’s literal sense, is doing the most entertaining and gratifying thing that you can, regardless of future effects. The irony of this philosophy on life is that it still exists. The people that truly live by it die within a few weeks of its instatement!
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” This is one of those cheesy, inspirational mottos that can, on its own, sum up most chic-flicks. Its proposed translation is something around “If bad stuff happens, make it good!” This saying is never actually told to anybody whose life has given them “lemons” because most problems don’t have an obvious silver lining hiding within. When was the last time somebody lost their favorite pet and turned that into lemonade? It seems like that refreshing beverage still requires a bit more sugar. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” really means “I’ve never been given lemons, I just buy the powdered stuff from the store.” The next time life gives you lemons, send them back with a nasty letter.
“Be happy with what you have”, falls under the same falsehood as the last saying. It’s a sad attempt at a Buddhist philosophy that you can always be happy, regardless of what happens. And, once again, is never told to anybody that would use it. Imagine if somebody lost their hand in a tragic accident and somebody uttered this phrase to them? “Easy for you to say, you can still do handstands! What happens the next time somebody wants to give me a double high five?” If this poor sap wasn’t strapped to a medical bed, they’d make sure that arrogant, unsympathetic scamp wouldn’t be able to make the mistake again for at least week for sheer lack of ability.
The hidden meaning of this saying is simply “Don’t have goals.” Truly, if one was content with what they had from the beginning they would never change. What if you have nothing? Are you supposed to be happy with nothing? Reach that point, then I’ll respect this saying.
Now that you see the absolute garbage people sling everyday, I ask you to join me in arms. We can no longer allow sayings like these to perpetuate themselves into the next generation. I ask you to be original, be creative, and be refreshing. And for god’s sake, don’t let me catch you quoting Tom Hanks ever again.
Now, it's my kid, so I have permission to think he's good. He's a junior in high school. The assignment is "compare and contrast". It's a college course because he ran out of high school courses to take. It's a program that they have here, called Pathways.
This is what he did with this assignment:
-----------------
Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates: Likely to Give You Diabetes
It’s the little things in life. It’s the little things that make your day brighter, the little things that make us one, and it’s the little things that make my blood boil. The next person to say “It’s the little things in life” will notice a big thing flying alarmingly quickly toward their frontal lobe. I can’t stand sayings! Nothing ups my heart-rate faster than the constant barrage of uncreative nonsense people shoot my way each day. “Stupid is as stupid does?” Well, sir, you seem to be as stupid as stupid can do. Most of these sayings that you hear plastered into nearly every conversation has two meanings; the meaning it attempts and the meaning it has. Today, we take a look at both meanings of three of my personal favorite mottos; “Live life to the fullest”, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and “Be happy with what you have.”
Just as a disclaimer: don’t attempt to live life to the fullest. Doing so may result in permanent injury to self esteem, loss of memory, loss of limb and/or a sudden need for attention from everybody around you. When people say they “Live life to the fullest” what they think they mean is they’ll try anything if it seems good. What they really mean is “I don’t take responsibility for my actions.” Living life to the fullest, in it’s literal sense, is doing the most entertaining and gratifying thing that you can, regardless of future effects. The irony of this philosophy on life is that it still exists. The people that truly live by it die within a few weeks of its instatement!
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” This is one of those cheesy, inspirational mottos that can, on its own, sum up most chic-flicks. Its proposed translation is something around “If bad stuff happens, make it good!” This saying is never actually told to anybody whose life has given them “lemons” because most problems don’t have an obvious silver lining hiding within. When was the last time somebody lost their favorite pet and turned that into lemonade? It seems like that refreshing beverage still requires a bit more sugar. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” really means “I’ve never been given lemons, I just buy the powdered stuff from the store.” The next time life gives you lemons, send them back with a nasty letter.
“Be happy with what you have”, falls under the same falsehood as the last saying. It’s a sad attempt at a Buddhist philosophy that you can always be happy, regardless of what happens. And, once again, is never told to anybody that would use it. Imagine if somebody lost their hand in a tragic accident and somebody uttered this phrase to them? “Easy for you to say, you can still do handstands! What happens the next time somebody wants to give me a double high five?” If this poor sap wasn’t strapped to a medical bed, they’d make sure that arrogant, unsympathetic scamp wouldn’t be able to make the mistake again for at least week for sheer lack of ability.
The hidden meaning of this saying is simply “Don’t have goals.” Truly, if one was content with what they had from the beginning they would never change. What if you have nothing? Are you supposed to be happy with nothing? Reach that point, then I’ll respect this saying.
Now that you see the absolute garbage people sling everyday, I ask you to join me in arms. We can no longer allow sayings like these to perpetuate themselves into the next generation. I ask you to be original, be creative, and be refreshing. And for god’s sake, don’t let me catch you quoting Tom Hanks ever again.
