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Old 05-01-2003, 10:03 PM   #1
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Default Redbull and the curse - An Impeller chapter

Redbull and the curse

Well, boys and girls, a few of the ifishers have been asking when I might throw up another chapter of “As The Impeller Turns”. It has been a tough decision as to what to write, because there are many sordid tales in my fading databank of archived adventures. But this one relates to current events...

See, it goes sorta like this. I met Redbull after he sent me an email last fall while I was making posts about catching quite a few silvers after work fishing in my new to me Willie. He explained that he was an avid fisherman, was readily available on short notice, and would be on the spot stat if I had an extra seat.

Fair enough, thought I, and an invitation was extended the next day. It was then that it started, though it was not until much later and in retrospect that I realized what that fateful day meant.

You see, the first day out, as usual, my super duper unbelievably hot Wiggle Wart was doing it’s normal dance when it got heavily pounded and in devilish fashion a particularly vicious Coho escaped with the Beaver Orange and Black Tiger striped wonder lure. Redbull was fishing with a wiggle wart that got absolutely no action whatsoever. Hmmmm….

I put on the almost as hot backup super duper Beaver Orange and Black Wiggle Wart wonder lure after that, but no action.

I fished the next evening without Redbull and of course caught another silver.

Redbull and I connected soon after that and the backup wart got one pull. But it didn’t stick. The plug I loaned Redbull got none, even though it had produced for others in the boat. Unfortunately for me, I was too dense to see the obvious, and Joby and I started on a long journey of mutually unfulfilling trips together.

Throughout the fall and into the winter we would meet and yet the fish would not cooperate for us. It was a moronic convergence of almost epic proportions. We got into his driftboat and fished the Clack. NADA. Zilch Zippo. We got in the sled. No dice. We fished from the bank at Casadero. El Stinko. We fished for Winters at Dog Creek. No way.

The interesting thing was that if we weren’t fishing together, I know I was catching fish, and he claimed to be too. Yet when we joined an invisible anti-mojo of immense proportions was forming around us.

We entered the Willie into the ifish Sturgeon Derby and caught but a few shakers.

We entered the ifish Winter Steelhead challenge and, had it not been for the mighty prowess of Mark and the dog, we would have been skunked there too. As it turned out the one fish that was landed was a nate and had to go back anyway.

As spring has come on, it seems that the Redbull curse has extended beyond just me.

He keeps wondering what he did to upset the piscatorial deities, but I think it is rather obvious. You see, there was one incident that truly set Redbull on the downward spiral he is currently in. One day late last year reeldick, Redbull and I walked from Bonnie Lure Park down to the mouth of the Clack to fish for Winters in the pocket at the entrance to Eagle Creek. As it happened, I separated from the two of them and fished above them in the main river. Shortly after we split, of course, Redbull managed to hook and land (this is according to both reeldick and Redbull himself) a nice hatchery hen. He thought it would represent a good faith effort to the fish Gods to let it go back. I think in retrospect that was a big, big mistake. The releasing of that hatchery fish has seemed to remit Redbull to full stink status, and he has had great difficulty landing fish ever since.

It is no longer just a moronic convergence effect with Hogmaster. Redbull has the affliction. That’s right, and with all due respect to Bill Monroe, Joby now has Pilgrim affliction!

For those of you not aware of the condition you can click here. The story of the man Formerly known as "pilgrim"

And just like Formerly, his impact is growing. Early in the spring he could go to Bonneville and see fish caught right next to his rod. Both sides in fact. But as spring has gone on the widening of his stink effect is growing almost exponentially!

The real measure of his Pilgrimism could be measured on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings this week. Both evenings I took Redbull out in the Willie and both evenings no fish came to the boat. On Tuesday, when a particularly hot bite had been occurring all day, we hit the water and the bite shut down like the clamping of a bear trap. No bites, not a one for us, of course, but any boats within 100 yards of us were destined not to hook up either.

When we got back to my house we looked at each other and gave the familiar shrug, and I promised not to quit trying to rid him of the condition. I am obviously a true masochist.

But Wednesday evening was the Coup de Grace. I added skrimmy and Sturgeon Tom to the mix in the Willie and we tried again. This time the impact could be measured by science. If we got against the far bank in the Garbage Hole, someone on the opposite bank would hook up. If we traded sides, the opposite would happen. Us? We could get no salmon takes but we were getting our egg and shrimp “cocktails” ravished by trash fish. Well, most of us were. Skrimmy brought some good looking skeins he soaked overnight in Maries, Shrimp Scent. Tom was using some Amerman cured specials, and I was using some old eggs that have been known to work in spite of themselves. Redbull brought two different mixes of cured eggs. One, GASP! was an Amerman cure that he did on his own, and the other a Pro Cure mix. But in either case, while the other three of us were getting pecked to no end, Redbull could not get a single, solitary chub bite!

We motored around and found Gun Rod Bow and learned he had a good day. He saw us and immediately got off the river. In fact, as the evening wore on, it became apparent the Pilgrim effect was widening by the minute. Fish were not only not biting for us, but not for boaters in any direction. I exchanged cell messages with Fishing is Life for example. He was fully three miles downstream and noticed a sudden bite shutdown when we were on the river.

Being the true glutton for punishment that I am, I am willing to carry this out for Redbull until his ship comes in. I apologize in advance to the rest of you considering fishing in areas that he may be fishing in. I will try to post in advance so folk can be aware that they may want to consider lawn mowing, car washing or closet cleaning if they were planning on fishing within 4 miles or so of Redbull.

So far he has resisted my suggestions to rub his body with 220 grit sandpaper and then take a lye bath. He has mentioned that he may post ads to sell his boat, gear and rods, but I warned him that doing so without full disclosure of the circumstances may be considered a crime in some states.

If anyone has any suggestions for the Redbull, please post them here. He needs your ideas!

In the meantime, I am formally re-christening Redbull as "Currently".

[ 05-02-2003, 10:31 AM: Message edited by: Hogmaster ]

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Old 05-01-2003, 10:40 PM   #2
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Nice story!
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Old 05-01-2003, 11:10 PM   #3
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Never question the data.



Good one Hogmaster.

:smile:
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Old 05-02-2003, 06:14 AM   #4
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redbull, i feel for ya' man. up until very recently, my ability to lay a skunk down on an entire river was unparalleled. i floated the clackamas one day and got a report back later that the bite turned on the very moment i pulled the boat out of the water.

good tale, hog. keep 'em coming.
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Old 05-02-2003, 06:21 AM   #5
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Sounds like a Gramma' curse to me. Bad news...
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Old 05-02-2003, 06:44 AM   #6
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Well,

What can I say? Gary speaks the truth!

Could that non harvest of a willing hatchery fish really be in such violation of sport fishing protocal? What I thought was the 'right thing' to do was obviously not.

It's getting pretty bad guys. My confidence is beyond shaken. It's like I've got a case of SARS, I don't want to go around anybody for fear of putting the stink on them. I think I'm in fishing quarantine. (Gary, you're beyond saving!) Sturgeon Tom and Skrimmy, I think you're ok. It was only brief exposure.

Anyone???

Also, I fished with BOE up at Bonneville - same results. We shot a goose that day too.


PS-I think you are all safe this weekend. I have sailing stuff both days so you can all go back in the water now.
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Old 05-02-2003, 07:02 AM   #7
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And Hogmaster gave us fair warning when we got in the boat too! Of course, we didn't believe it, but Redbull proved it to be true. But hey, my springer luck isn't far behind your Redbull. I've got a nate this year, but still not a hatchery keeper! Ah, but the season ain't over yet!

Another GREAT story Hogmaster! Keep 'em coming!
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Old 05-02-2003, 07:31 AM   #8
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Hogmaster - You just cancelled every trip on ifish Redbull may ever talk his way into. :shocked: :shocked:

I think their is some negative carma coming off redbulls lifejacket. My kids dont hold their special blanket at night as close as Redbull does his life jacket in a boat. [img]graemlins/eek13.gif[/img] He wont get in a boat without his life jacket buttoned, zipped and snapped, not a bad idea but maybe if it didnt have the custom minnie mouse embroidery with inflateable water wings that go around the upper arms and that strap that goes between the legs to hold it down.

I am just glad that Redbull didnt touch anything in my boat and inflict me with his fish catching troubles.
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Old 05-02-2003, 07:42 AM   #9
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Well, I only made the report as a public service to all ifishers. :grin:

Currently, we certainly appreciate that you will be out of the fishing zone and instead in a sailing (only) craft above the I-5 bridge this weekend. But for those of you thinking about the Kelley Point or Frenchman's area on Saturday, beware that there may be a downstream effect!

And BOE, he doesn't actually have to touch anything directly. It seems if he touches something that is touching something the other something is worthless. He touched one shrimp and every other one in the box immediately were ineffective. In fac, they croaked! :shocked: :shocked:

Don't worry, Jobe, this too will pass. Have you tried snorting Moose Drool up your nose yet?

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Old 05-02-2003, 07:51 AM   #10
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Redbull:

Your inability to catch any of the migrating species that frequent the rivers of Oregon and Washington are assuring that my children will be able to catch fish for years to come. I urge you to fish with as many anglers as possible, as often as possible.

Thank you.

Oh, and PETA called and extended a "thank you" as well.
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Old 05-02-2003, 08:41 AM   #11
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Now the reason for my dry spell is getting clearer...it started when you dropped the rod off...
now I am getting concerned. joby you better come get your rod before I sacrifice it in the burn pile
as for wearying a life jacket in boe's boat...good call :grin: heck I started wearing waders as well.

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Old 05-02-2003, 09:19 AM   #12
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Default Re: Redbull and the curse - An Impeller chapter

Redbull, sometimes we just have bad luck streaks. But I do like Hogmasters advice of sanding your skin and soaking in lye, but a shower with lemon joy/anise mix prob should be sufficient till you break the cycle. :smile:
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Old 05-02-2003, 09:20 AM   #13
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Let the bite shut down be now and forever called "the REDBULL effect".

I was afraid if I stayed out there the fish in the box might jump back in the river :shocked:

I'll tell yah, so many anchor ropes, almost impossible to backtroll/backbounce. I got ran into, my line grabbed by a boat motoring through were he shouldn't have been, and yelled at by a guy who was anchored dead in the middle of a popular drift cause I was fishing too close to him. As soon as he got done yelling, rod goes off, #1 landed...justice.

Seriously, my buds that stayed had a slow evening too.

Talked to a very well respected OC guide at the ramp that had not even a bite from noon on.

Gary, I saw your photo on this morning's news I hear "photo submited by GVG" and see one of those pretty sunrise shots from your backyard. I told my wife, hey I know that dude!

Keep at 'em, temporary hole in the run. Think I'll head to Scapoose so I can fish without my head on a swivel

Redbull, hang in there
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Old 05-02-2003, 09:55 AM   #14
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Really, GRB? I submitted that photo well over a month ago. I missed them showing it. It was a pretty spectacular sunrise. In fact, here it is:

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Old 05-02-2003, 10:03 AM   #15
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!!!!!REDBULL EFFECT ALERT!!!!!

I spoke with "Currently" this morning and he disclosed that he is planning on hitting a river this afternoon.

He promised he would stay well outside the Columbia/Willamette zone, but I would caution anyone fishing in the Drano Lake area to get done by early afternoon or you will likely be destined to be fishing and not catching...

gus - Don't burn it! The fumes could carry the effect for miles. Instead, put on a rubber suit and gloves you never want to see again. Fold the rod into fourteen pieces and place it all in an empty paint can. Put the paint can in a 5 gallon bucket of cold tar and seal it. Place the 5 gallon tar bucket into a 50 gallon drum of battery acid, seal it and put the whole thing in the back of your truck. Drive it straight to Umatilla and ask for Master Sargent William Weasey. He will know what to do with it.

Then sell your truck...

[ 05-02-2003, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: Hogmaster ]
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Old 05-02-2003, 10:56 AM   #16
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Oh my gosh now I know what was going on. Someone forgot to tell me before I got in the boat or I would have brought my magic spell braking formul. Well in this case I don't think it would have made any difference anyway.
It was a nice day on the water watching other people catch fish though.
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Old 05-02-2003, 11:33 AM   #17
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[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

Absolutely hilarious story! I look back with fond memories seeing Joby catch his first steelhead! I actually thought he was coming along nicely there for awhile but now my eyes have been opened!

I must apologize Fellas for it was I, Crayfin, that started this dastardly menace once upon a time! When Redbull was but a tadpole in the fishing world it was my friend and I that introduced him to the exciting and rewarding life of fishing for our wonderous ocean going prize [img]graemlins/dork.gif[/img]

I now feel that I have unleashed an unstoppable evil upon our precious resources! There is hope however!!! Early detection to exposure can help save your Mojo! Last trip to the Quinault with (dare I use his name) Redbull, I was thouroughly getting my bottom waxed by all the fellas at which time I quickly distanced myself from (him) and was able to come back for a victory, surpassing everyones tally for the day!

Do not let this affliction catch you unaware! You must maintain a constant state of rediness out there! Once again I apologize and good luck out there!

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Old 05-02-2003, 01:40 PM   #18
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I have a buddy that I am now renaming "Redbull the 2nd". He never hooks up when in the boat with me. Up until April 20th or so of 2002 I had no problems catching fish with him in the boat. But then I made the mistake: I hooked one and handed off to the future RB2. My boat literally shut down for the month of May UNTIL I went out and bought a new rod/reel. My buddy has not even had a chub hit since then. Through persistent effort I, thankfully, have erased the stink he put on me! Of course, just like it seems to be for Redbull, he is always welcome in my boat as he is a good friend!
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Old 05-02-2003, 01:53 PM   #19
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I was going to read this topic till I saw who posted it. I got too much to do already. :tongue:
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:16 PM   #20
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I have even a larger problem my son chalcalhas been on a drought since last year!!!! I go out in the boat with him and nothing happens!! I go with someone else and we get fish. Should I disown him???
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Old 05-02-2003, 02:40 PM   #21
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The problem is when you start letting a dry stretch affect your confidence. If you go out with the mindset that you are gonna get skunked then you will probably get skunked. If you are not catching fish and everyone else around you is, change your tactics, location or something.
For years I could not catch a springer to save my life. Last year I noticed something that most of the guides were doing and the first day I tried it we had 5 on. So far this year I can only think of two times out springer fishing that I have not at least had a take down.

I do not believe at all in any superstitions or that someone can be "cursed" to not catch fish.
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Old 05-02-2003, 04:17 PM   #22
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Yep,

Thats the pic. I think it was channel 8, not sure. It would have been around 6:20.

Nice photos Oh "Lord of Swine"
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Old 05-03-2003, 05:01 AM   #23
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Ah, comon, Tanner, get (un)serious!

Last night was a study in contrasts. Went for a little while after work, sans Redbull, but reeldick grabbed a dab of those impervious to even trash fish eggs that Redbull used so unsucessfully on Wednesday evening. He then got a massive chomp on them! Missed the fish as it turned out.

The great news about this is that apparently the Redbull Effect is not permanent. Gus, maybe you don't have to sell your truck after all!!

:grin: :grin: :grin:

[ 05-03-2003, 05:02 AM: Message edited by: Hogmaster ]
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Old 05-03-2003, 11:13 AM   #24
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Naw Tanner,

That aint it. I have fished with Redbull, and he stays with it. I think he cares just a bit too much though, and pays attention all the time.

We all know that 83.9235% of all fish caught are hooked when we are eating a sammie, drinking the last cup of coffee( which is a promise to spill the last cup before you get any of the wonderful juice to keep your eyelids open), or are using the pee bucket. Most of these actions require all the mental powers any angler has, and therefore makes us not pay attention. The fish know that we are vulnerable and strike at these key moments.

Now, if you stop paying attention, like most succesful anglers have, your catch rates go up by a huge margin. If you throw in leaving the rod in the holder and either napping or shooting the breeze with another in the boat ( which again requires all the attention a sleep derpived angler can muster) the rate goes up again to something over 90%.

Joby does not sleep in while fishing. Eats less than a bird. Actually seems to care ( huge mistake),I don't remember any coffee in his cup(which is the #1 reason, tied with PBR, for pee bucket time) when he was on the water. The only words he muttered was to quickly feed the dog. And some Hank Hill quotes..


Problem is he pays too much attention. That or it could be a Willie Powerboat thing. Or he needs a new PFD that does not smell like a stinky sailor. And the biggest mistake of all... he don't fish black corkies.

Mark and the well fed dog.
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Old 05-07-2003, 01:54 PM   #25
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******UPDATE*******

No, I still haven't caught a fish!

But, I promise there will be no Redbull Effect from 5/8 to 5/11.

I will be out of the country (Cananda) so if that doesn't cure it, who knows.

Go kill'em and then be sure and tell me how great you did. The fish will be biting.

J

PS - No Mark, I will not get a new stinky sailor lifejacket. I have far too many hours into this jacket - it's like a pair of favorite old jeans. In fact I'm doing an ocean race from Astoria to Victoria while proudly sporting my well loved, stinky sailor lifejacket.

[ 05-07-2003, 01:57 PM: Message edited by: Redbull ]
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Old 05-07-2003, 02:23 PM   #26
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Well,

I guess I am glad I am in Phoenix until the evening after your launch.

Just before I left I shaved Maxine the Wonder Dog so tainted fur remenants won't effect the boat.

I hope you win the race and take your time getting home! :grin:

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Old 05-07-2003, 04:40 PM   #27
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Hog,
I remember you and Joby discussing this when Spare Link and myself joined you two with Reeldick on New year's day. I must say that it definately has a contagious effect. Since fishing with you that fateful day, the folowing has occured:

I was completely skunked for winters after that trip (Tanner, that was the problem with Team Hampster of death).

Sturgeon Tom and I had the "ride" of our lives. and it seems to me that you, Hog, had a "wonderful" time during the sturgeon derby. (Sturgeon Tom, you have been double wammied from Red----'s curse)

Many other things have also occured.

Thanks to Sparelink, my boat has paid the pentance and the fishing deities have released their embargo.
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