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Old 01-01-2018, 04:21 PM   #1
Dave G
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Default You might be a Redneck........

Here is a years worth I collected while I was working. Enjoy

If the only thing you dislike about fishing is the hangover.

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Old 01-01-2018, 04:32 PM   #2
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Heck, I always like the family reunions cuz I can always find a date.She might not even have to change her last name if we get hitched.
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Old 01-01-2018, 09:51 PM   #3
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you were born in Orygun, anywhere south and east of Potland?
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Old 01-01-2018, 10:33 PM   #4
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

We use this one all the time in our house....

Hey sensuous...........since you is up get me a beer........

lol
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Old 01-02-2018, 05:01 AM   #5
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you kick the dog's out of the bed for farting.
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Old 01-02-2018, 05:47 AM   #6
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you retirement fund is beer cans in your trunk
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Old 01-02-2018, 07:47 AM   #7
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you live in a houseboat but are miles from the nearest water.
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Old 01-02-2018, 07:50 AM   #8
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you promise "a years worth" of redneck jokes but forget the attachment...
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Old 01-02-2018, 08:01 AM   #9
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If the lounge chair on the front porch is the seat out of the truck parked out back.
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Old 01-02-2018, 08:30 AM   #10
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
Originally Posted by crabbait View Post
If you promise "a years worth" of redneck jokes but forget the attachment...
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Old 01-02-2018, 09:23 AM   #11
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When you and your wife Divorce don't be sad she will still be your sister.
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Old 01-02-2018, 09:25 AM   #12
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

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If you promise "a years worth" of redneck jokes but forget the attachment...


Mic drop


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Old 01-02-2018, 11:26 AM   #13
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrmike View Post
When you and your wife Divorce don't be sad she will still be your sister.
Okay, now I have to throw that one out. LOL.
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Old 01-02-2018, 03:28 PM   #14
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver Eagle View Post
If you retirement fund is beer cans in your trunk
Hey, no fair, that was my spending money in college.
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Old 01-02-2018, 04:09 PM   #15
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

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Hey, no fair, that was my spending money in college.


Its hard to drink enough beer to have enough cans to redeem for more beer the next day

Well. We tried


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Old 01-02-2018, 04:24 PM   #16
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

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If you promise "a years worth" of redneck jokes but forget the attachment...

Right on crabby
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Old 01-02-2018, 06:51 PM   #17
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you saved up enough empties, you could take them back to the distributor for double, 2 cents each. We’d swap them for a full case and start over, saving for the next one. Another place to save money was buying directly from the distributor. If you wanted three cases or more, real savings could be had. If there’s a will, there’s a way.
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Old 01-02-2018, 07:28 PM   #18
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

"If you have more hulls than tires on the ground in your yard ..... you just might be."

Corollary: "If the average tire pressure of all vehicles in the yard is zero."

Happy New Year, CopperMan.
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Old 01-03-2018, 08:47 AM   #19
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If the bait shop robbery is headline news in your town.
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Old 01-03-2018, 11:23 AM   #20
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If some of your teeth are the ones you were born with.

When you call the dog, your kids show up as well because they have the same name.

A long trip is visiting your uncle Billy Bob in the next county.
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Old 01-03-2018, 12:45 PM   #21
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

lol, that second one is rough.
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Old 01-03-2018, 01:21 PM   #22
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
Originally Posted by nailyard View Post
Hey, no fair, that was my spending money in college.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bradly11 View Post
Its hard to drink enough beer to have enough cans to redeem for more beer the next day

Well. We tried

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Lived in a fraternity. . . . . we had a small fridge that was always stocked. Needless to say we ran a mini beer store. Oh if I could do it all again I'd follow the trail of the McMenamins.
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Old 01-03-2018, 01:22 PM   #23
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

You and the dog pee on the same tree.
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Old 01-04-2018, 07:05 AM   #24
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If your kids could put a worm on a hook before they could tie their shoes.
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Old 01-05-2018, 07:04 AM   #25
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you can cast farther than you can run.
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Old 01-06-2018, 07:05 AM   #26
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you ever fished over a fence.
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Old 01-06-2018, 07:25 AM   #27
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

if the dogs kick you out of bed for farting
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Old 01-06-2018, 08:28 AM   #28
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
Originally Posted by waterflogger View Post
if the dogs kick you out of bed for farting
Nice!
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Old 01-06-2018, 09:50 AM   #29
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you have ever uttered the words, "here, hold my beer, I have an idea".
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Old 01-06-2018, 10:00 AM   #30
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
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If you have ever uttered the words, "here, hold my beer, I have an idea".


That’s not redneck. Every 6 year old has said that!


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Old 01-06-2018, 12:11 PM   #31
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Yea, that’s on the path to manhood. Is usually followed by, “gee, that’s not the way it was supposed to go.” And a trip to the ER.
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Old 01-06-2018, 12:31 PM   #32
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

That is all wannabe redneck. A real redneck builds his outhouse over the creek...
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Old 01-06-2018, 01:07 PM   #33
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That is all wannabe redneck. A real redneck builds his outhouse over the creek...


Low hanging fruit


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Old 01-07-2018, 04:25 AM   #34
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If your sons name is Dale Jr.......but your name aint Dale.

If you ever went on a Kid Rock cruise
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:58 AM   #35
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Often a redneck's last words..." Hey, ya'll, watch this...."
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:51 AM   #36
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you would rather fish than have sex.
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:59 PM   #37
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
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If you would rather fish than have sex.
Huh???
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Old 01-07-2018, 07:39 PM   #38
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

I don’t think my wife would be opposed to both at the same time....? I fish, she has sex.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:54 PM   #39
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Quote:
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I don’t think my wife would be opposed to both at the same time....? I fish, she has sex.
Early one morning, many years ago at the mouth of the Ringold stream, a steel head fisherman was complaining his wife was trying to keep him home in bed to satisfy her carnal desires. The fisherman was very upset that his wife was messing with his steelhead fishing. This particular fisherman is mans man red neck.
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Old 01-08-2018, 09:12 AM   #40
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you were thinking about fishing during your marriage vows.
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Old 01-08-2018, 09:16 AM   #41
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Honestly, if one over the other were a requirement for red neck status, I’d never pass the test. But, with a little creativity, you can have it all.
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Old 01-08-2018, 09:30 AM   #42
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

You can't find a card that says
"Happy Father's Day
Uncle Dad"
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Old 01-08-2018, 05:45 PM   #43
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

When you drive up to your house and the two dogs come running to greet you AND right behind them is a pig.
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Old 01-09-2018, 06:22 AM   #44
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
Originally Posted by DogZilla15 View Post
I don’t think my wife would be opposed to both at the same time....? I fish, she has sex.
Harvey what are you implying?
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Old 01-09-2018, 06:23 AM   #45
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If your family car came from auctioning off old police Crown Vics.
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Old 01-09-2018, 06:44 AM   #46
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

You have a refrigerator and freezer dedicated to fishing bait and ice. (Guilty of that one for sure)
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Old 01-09-2018, 07:00 AM   #47
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave G View Post
You have a refrigerator and freezer dedicated to fishing bait and ice. (Guilty of that one for sure)
Hey, I resemble that comment.............


Except mine has beer in the frig, and a bottle of bourbon in the freezer as well......
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Old 01-09-2018, 09:18 AM   #48
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

.... If you extend your arms slightly forward and get instant arthritis in your fingers while a well proportioned female walks by....

Just... say'in...

BTW... I have 2 bait freezers and ice machines. One freezer always has 64oz. of personally distilled product in it... But it never gets slushy...
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Old 01-10-2018, 06:32 AM   #49
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulakala View Post
If your family car came from auctioning off old police Crown Vics.


Hey, we Had an ‘86 dark blue Crown Victoria police car from Pullman, WA. It looked like a Ronald Regan Secret Service vehicle. We paid $850 for it. It seated 6, got 23 mpg, had plenty of power with its 302 v-8, pursuit transmission, pursuit suspension, I loved that car.

And yes, I loaded a nice heavy 4x4 whitetail buck right in to its massive trunk to get it home.

It’s positraction handled the snow, ice and mud very well.

The spotlight didn’t work though.

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Old 01-10-2018, 07:58 AM   #50
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Hey, we Had an ‘86 dark blue Crown Victoria police car from Pullman, WA. It looked like a Ronald Regan Secret Service vehicle. We paid $850 for it. It seated 6, got 23 mpg, had plenty of power with its 302 v-8, pursuit transmission, pursuit suspension, I loved that car.

And yes, I loaded a nice heavy 4x4 whitetail buck right in to its massive trunk to get it home.

It’s positraction handled the snow, ice and mud very well.

The spotlight didn’t work though.

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Old 01-10-2018, 08:00 AM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave G View Post
You have a refrigerator and freezer dedicated to fishing bait and ice. (Guilty of that one for sure)
That would be me. Except you forgot the Keep Out signs on the front of each one. No one but me gets in those bad boys. Heck I've gone so far as to tell my Grandsons that there's things in there that will eat you.
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Old 01-10-2018, 09:03 AM   #52
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you ever shot a partridge in a pear tree
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Old 01-10-2018, 09:41 AM   #53
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

If you prefer your battered fish without the fish.
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Old 01-10-2018, 09:42 AM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SturgeonKing50 View Post
That would be me. Except you forgot the Keep Out signs on the front of each one. No one but me gets in those bad boys. Heck I've gone so far as to tell my Grandsons that there's things in there that will eat you.
Lol nice!
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Old 01-10-2018, 01:43 PM   #55
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

.....or your Hamburger Helper without hamburger.
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Old 01-10-2018, 02:12 PM   #56
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

... if you understand the difference between half uncle and full uncle.
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Old 01-10-2018, 07:20 PM   #57
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

if your mobile home window shades are johnny rebel blankets.

if your tattoos cost more than your pickup

if your travel trailer has holes patched with street signs
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Old 01-10-2018, 07:36 PM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave G View Post
If you were thinking about fishing during your marriage vows.
Dave you brought back a memory!

27 almost 28 years ago there was a young man who got married, during the seromony he raised the the flaps on his tux to the crowed with a sign saying " I would rather be fishing "..

I almost didn't make it out alive, my mother inlaw had very little sense of humor on that one. (Her only daughter) 4 kids and happily married still.
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Old 01-10-2018, 08:36 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by Reel fortunate View Post
Dave you brought back a memory!

27 almost 28 years ago there was a young man who got married, during the seromony he raised the the flaps on his tux to the crowed with a sign saying " I would rather be fishing "..

I almost didn't make it out alive, my mother inlaw had very little sense of humor on that one. (Her only daughter) 4 kids and happily married still.
That's too funny. (and bold)
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Old 01-11-2018, 07:05 AM   #60
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Default Re: You might be a Redneck........

Your family tree has only one limb.
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