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Old 05-10-2020, 08:13 AM   #1
slickitem
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Default Joke.....

A little boy was in sunday school, the Sunday school teacher ask him, Hi Johnny do you say your prayers before dinner, the little boy says "No ma'am we don't have to, my mom is a good cook!"

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Old 05-12-2020, 10:33 AM   #2
Don G Baldi
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The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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Old 05-12-2020, 10:45 AM   #3
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DGB.... I gotta get me one of those.
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Old 05-12-2020, 07:24 PM   #4
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........
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Old 05-12-2020, 07:32 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reel fortunate View Post
........
I said this same thing to my wife the other day. Thats awesome! I've been enjoying social distancing activities since before it was the cool thing to do.
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Old 05-12-2020, 07:37 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whethole View Post
I said this same thing to my wife the other day. Thats awesome! I've been enjoying social distancing activities since before it was the cool thing to do.
Same, life's about the same except the delivery drivers are a little slower and more stressed...

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Old 05-12-2020, 08:41 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whethole View Post
I said this same thing to my wife the other day. Thats awesome! I've been enjoying social distancing activities since before it was the cool thing to do.
I've heard you can maintain that by adjusting your showering schedule.

People will give you plenty of space wherever you go.
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Old 05-12-2020, 10:58 PM   #8
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I've heard you can maintain that by adjusting your showering schedule.

People will give you plenty of space wherever you go.
I've experienced the same thing, however it's been nice lately aligning my morning schedule with my wife's if you know what I mean.......
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Old 05-13-2020, 07:24 AM   #9
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I don’t think we do,could ya spell it out for us?


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Old 05-13-2020, 09:07 AM   #10
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Quote:
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I've experienced the same thing, however it's been nice lately aligning my morning schedule with my wife's if you know what I mean.......
BOW CHICA WOWOOOWWWWW?
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Old 05-13-2020, 09:11 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by lingslayer View Post
I've heard you can maintain that by adjusting your showering schedule.

People will give you plenty of space wherever you go.
I think you're onto something, Ling. What if you want to be 6 feet from yourself due to the funk? And what if said funk keeps the wifey 6 feet away, and above mentioned BOW CHICA WOWOOOWWWWW is affected? These questions must be asked.
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Old 05-13-2020, 09:19 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reel fortunate View Post
........
Funny stuff.... my wife said its like ive been practicing for this my whole life
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Old 05-13-2020, 11:18 AM   #13
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reel fortunate View Post
........
Funny stuff.... my wife said its like ive been practicing for this my whole life
Me too ! Not Intentionally though. Work hard play hard and you will run out of daylight and steam. 🙂
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Old 05-21-2020, 04:40 PM   #14
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Default Re: Joke.....

Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early, do.

Whenever I want to be left alone, I go to the mall and hold a clipboard.

What do they call 100 John Deeres circling a McDonald’s in Iowa?

Prom night.

What differentiates a zoo in Louisiana from other zoos?

The Louisiana zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. 

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Old 05-21-2020, 05:16 PM   #15
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We don't need no stinkin' recipes.
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Old 05-21-2020, 06:07 PM   #16
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We don't need no stinkin' recipes.
Heh heh. Not even for armadillo's?
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Old 05-21-2020, 07:37 PM   #17
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Q: What has 40 legs and 13 teeth?
A: The front row at the Willie Nelson concert


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Old 05-21-2020, 09:55 PM   #18
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Default Re: Joke.....

A man walks into a bar on top of a skyscraper in order to get out of the fierce storm brewing outside.

A couple hours later he’s got a few drinks in him, when another guy enters and sits next to him.

The first guy says, “You know, there’s a very strong breeze outside and if you jump out the window, it will blow you right back in.”

The second guy says, “You first.”

So, the first guy jumps out the window and comes soaring right back in.

The second guy asks him to do it again. So, the first guy jumps out again and the wind blows him right back in to the bar.

Now, the second guy believes him and decides to try it. He jumps out the window and plummets to his death.

The bartender turns to the first guy and says, "Superman, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk.”
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Old 05-31-2020, 09:52 AM   #19
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Dad’s

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?"
asked the first boy.

"Tommy," replied the second.

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?"

asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?"

asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
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Old 06-03-2020, 10:03 PM   #20
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Old 06-04-2020, 11:09 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denneroll View Post
Q: What has 40 legs and 13 teeth?
A: The front row at the Willie Nelson concert


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Or the female housing unit at the county jail...


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Old 06-04-2020, 12:33 PM   #22
DogZilla15
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Default Re: Joke.....

Ya know, I just got all my Covid decorations up, banners, balloons, colored lights, the works now it's riot season. Gotta pull it all down and dig out the bricks, guns, clubs, Molotov cocktails, maybe a gas mask.
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Old 06-04-2020, 01:42 PM   #23
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Default Re: Joke.....

Can't not participate



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