Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer-- - www.ifish.net

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Old 07-27-2007, 07:25 AM   #1
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Default Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

Thanks to Crabbait,

IFISH STANDARD DISCLAIMER : The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent those of ifish.net. All postings to ifish automatically become the sole property of ifish. Use outside the intended purpose is strictly prohibited. This site is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform, include or exclude. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for younger viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. This program has been modified to fit you screen. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For official use only. I have no recollection of that, Senator. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Parental discretion advised. Post office will not deliver without postage. Check your claim receipt, many suitcases look alike. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. At participating locations only. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Not to be taken internally. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Kilroy was here. Use of costume does not enable wearer to fly. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. May be too intense for young adults. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. You could be a winner; no purchase necessary, details inside. Employees and their families are not eligible. Caution: contents are hot. Beware of dog. This contract limits our liability. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Do not stand on top rung. Don't even think about parking here. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. No step. Booths for two or more. Not responsible for promotional consideration given or fees paid. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Product will be hot after heating. Not to be used for other use. Do not iron clothes on body. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Instructions; open package, eat nuts. To be opened by addressee only. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. This side up. If you can read this you must have really good eyes. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. PFDs are only effective when worn. Close cover before striking. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise.

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“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Whoo hooo! What a Ride!”


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Old 07-27-2007, 07:41 AM   #2
JustCallMeDave
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

...expialidocious!



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Old 07-27-2007, 07:48 AM   #3
letsfish
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

What about in Milton-Freewater?
And Does it include batteries?
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Old 07-27-2007, 07:58 AM   #4
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

* Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
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Old 07-27-2007, 11:28 AM   #5
Jaws
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

Caution! May contain small parts. Keep out of reach of children!
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Old 07-27-2007, 11:39 AM   #6
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony1831 View Post
* Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
Rats! I just discovered this is already in there.

Ok, so add this- *Caution- contents may be hot

(Thanks McDonald's and the frivolous lawsuit)
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Old 07-27-2007, 11:55 AM   #7
Don Becker
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

I can't believe I read the whole thing!
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Old 07-27-2007, 12:03 PM   #8
1bigfish
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

Quote:
Originally Posted by letsfish View Post
And Does it include batteries?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony1831 View Post
Ok, so add this- *Caution- contents may be hot

(Thanks McDonald's and the frivolous lawsuit)
These two are already covered.

Quote:
Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
Thanks to Crabbait,

IFISH STANDARD DISCLAIMER : The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent those of ifish.net. All postings to ifish automatically become the sole property of ifish. Use outside the intended purpose is strictly prohibited. This site is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform, include or exclude. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for younger viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. This program has been modified to fit you screen. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For official use only. I have no recollection of that, Senator. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Parental discretion advised. Post office will not deliver without postage. Check your claim receipt, many suitcases look alike. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. At participating locations only. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Not to be taken internally. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Kilroy was here. Use of costume does not enable wearer to fly. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. May be too intense for young adults. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. You could be a winner; no purchase necessary, details inside. Employees and their families are not eligible. Caution: contents are hot. Beware of dog. This contract limits our liability. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Do not stand on top rung. Don't even think about parking here. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. No step. Booths for two or more. Not responsible for promotional consideration given or fees paid. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Product will be hot after heating. Not to be used for other use. Do not iron clothes on body. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Instructions; open package, eat nuts. To be opened by addressee only. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. This side up. If you can read this you must have really good eyes. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. PFDs are only effective when worn. Close cover before striking. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise.
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Last edited by 1bigfish; 07-27-2007 at 12:04 PM.
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Old 07-27-2007, 12:07 PM   #9
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

You live in a van by down by the beach?
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Old 07-27-2007, 12:15 PM   #10
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

there's always the fine print.....

Too funny. Thanks for posting.
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Last edited by pdxkevin; 07-27-2007 at 12:17 PM.
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Old 07-27-2007, 12:24 PM   #11
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

This warranty does not cover mental or phyiscal damage to "ifisher's" that have been misused, mistreated, tampered with mentaly, modified or damaged as a result of eye damage, water damage, indifference of opinion, or lack of proper mental care as indicated in the ifish AUP or terms and conditions of operations.

If you disagree with these terms please exit the site now. Thank you visiting ifish.net


Ohh boy im in trouble now!



Last edited by Matthewc; 07-27-2007 at 12:26 PM.
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Old 07-27-2007, 09:48 PM   #12
anglingaddict
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Becker View Post
I can't believe I read the whole thing!

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Old 07-28-2007, 01:56 PM   #13
retiredgal
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

Sounds like the basis for a politicians position on the stump?
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Old 07-28-2007, 11:15 PM   #14
Fast Water
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

I submit the following for inclusion in the IFSD:

This unit is designed to service 10 people for a 40 hour work week.
Excess use will result in unsatisfactory and unsanitary conditions.
Please close lid for proper ventilation.

:smile:
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Old 07-29-2007, 09:05 PM   #15
crabbait
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Default Re: Let's never forget the ifish standard disclaimer--

Thanks for the credit, Jenny, but I stole it from Don Cline, Air Traffic Manager at HIO airport. I heard recently that he is seriously ill. Get well, Don.

And here is a salute to Pilar's favorite:

Quote:
IFISH STANDARD DISCLAIMER : The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent those of ifish.net. All postings to ifish automatically become the sole property of ifish. Use outside the intended purpose is strictly prohibited. This site is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform, include or exclude. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for younger viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. This program has been modified to fit you screen. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For official use only. I have no recollection of that, Senator. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Parental discretion advised. Post office will not deliver without postage. Check your claim receipt, many suitcases look alike. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. At participating locations only. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Not to be taken internally. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Kilroy was here. Use of costume does not enable wearer to fly. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. May be too intense for young adults. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. You could be a winner; no purchase necessary, details inside. Employees and their families are not eligible. Caution: contents are hot. Beware of dog. This contract limits our liability. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Do not stand on top rung. Don't even think about parking here. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. No step. Booths for two or more. Not responsible for promotional consideration given or fees paid. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Product will be hot after heating. Not to be used for other use. Do not iron clothes on body. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Instructions; open package, eat nuts. To be opened by addressee only. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. This side up. If you can read this you must have really good eyes. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. PFDs are only effective when worn. Close cover before striking. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. __________________
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