Re: My son
You've taken a very important first step by expressing to others (that will most assuredly care) know you feel lost. I can only imagine how devastating your experience feels. I believe you should feel very safe to use this forum to download your feelings and ask for help and suggestions. If you feel you lack strength trust you can borrow some from others willing to offer it. You can never make this go away, but I know you can uncover some ways to live peacefully with it if you rely on others. Good on you for reaching out. It will get better.
It is more convenient to believe comfortable truths and comfortable facts than it is to face difficult choices and difficult realities. Chernobyl