Fishing The Coast, Oregon and Washington

March 2011

March sky at dusk... A promise of good things to come!

Happy March!

Click to zoom!

I love that picture! I do! My neighbor Kay took it! She also took some others that I'll share at another date. But, I love this one! It will be our Christmas card, next year! (If she'll allow!)
I put Stan's column up this morning!
Part two, and more about El Salto, which I love to hear about. I'd love to visit, there, wouldn't you? And to think of the sun.. Ah! Sunshine and fishing! My two favorites!
Speaking of fishing in the sunshine... um, brrrr! Bill and I got some sandshrimp and we are headed out to fish here in the cold!
I woke up late, got Stan's column up, answered the ifish tech mail, and now I'm off to breeze thru the mod board to see if I can help.
Then, it's off to the river! Watch for fish pics! The river is in prime shape!

Happy March! 3rd


Click to zoom
my fishin' stuff.
Which one doesn't belong?

I just can't get used to this "wear a wig thing" to go fishing. And I can't get used to seeing it laying around like a dead animal, either!
Sure, I could wear a ball cap, but my ears freeze! I do have a fuzzy hat with ear muffs, but then I get too hot. I can't win. It's fishing wigs for me!
I'm off to Portland for a Doctor spree. Wish me luck over the pass. It looks snowy!

Happy March! 6th

Isn't this awesome? This is so true!
Usually, excellent videos like that make the rounds, but I'd never seen that one! Thanks to my brother, for sending it! Made me laugh!
Bill and I went out for pancakes this morning at our favorite breakfast place in Bay City. It was nice. We never look at menus. It is THE place for pancakes.
I have searched the world over, since my days eating pancakes at Robs in Seaside, which is now closed. This is the place. The only place that I know of!
Although the other food is great, too, (buy whole homeade pies! Yum!) their pancakes are to die for! We always order two short stacks (huge pancakes!- betcha can't finish it!) and split an order of the best bacon in this world!
It's called Downie's Cafe and it's near 9320 5th St, in Bay City.
Thing is, though, it's 4:30 pm, now, and I'm still full!
On the way home, we went to Marie's in Tillamook to pick up some sand shrimp.
I had a blast looking at Marie's beautiful hummingbird pictures and pining over her new greenhouse. What I wouldn't do for a greenhouse like that! Oh, it's gorgeous! I would die for a greenhouse! Did I say that? I did! She had freesia she just planted, and rhubarb in the ground, and oh! It was splendid! It was already like 90 in there!
What a beautiful sunshiny day it was, today!
I'm going to get up first thing in the morning and try again for a steelie. I didn't give it much chance, today! I just got up from a pancake overdose nap!

Happy March! 10th

Wow, what a windy day! The dogs and I got up pretty early and took a walk on the wild side. Good thing I wasn't wearing my wig, or it would have flown away, for sure!
It's kind of nice just sticking on a ball cap, a beanie, or even my hair hat (wig) and just going. No blow dry, no flat iron, no nuttin! I don't even have to buy shampoo, very often! And, to heck with my hair dresser. There is nothing to dress!
I do, rather miss "girls day" though, where I'd get my hair and nails done. Chemo pretty much ruined my nails! I'm too embarrassed to get them manicured. Why do they call it manicured? Why not femacured?
I actually fished yesterday! I mean, I actually worked the whole river, up and down. Bill started on one end, and I on the other, and we met at the bedroom hole. Nuttin! I was convinced Bill just didn't fish his stretch right, so I re fished it, so hoping for a bobber down! But, no! Nuttin' honey! So weird, because the river was perfect for jigging. That perfect walking tempo. Andante fishing!
I had fresh, tiny little wiggly shrimp on a beautiful First Bite "shrimp tail" jig. Nothing could have been more perfect. Plus, I had that fishy feeling, where you just know your bobber will be going down. It stuck with me, too! There wasn't one cast I made that I didn't have confidence in. That old "Expect a fish with every cast" that Stan Fagerstrom told me about. I had that!
I guess that's why they call it fishing and not catching.
With every day that passes, we are nearer to Spring Chinook. Don't know how I'll pull it off, down here, as I have to do radiation every day. That's going to really bum me out. I'll have to play hooky at least once. That'll be fun!
I'm still searching for a low priced home in the Portland area, so if you hear of anything, let me know! We need a big garage that will hold our Portland springer boat, and a fenced yard for the dogs. I am in Portland so much for medical stuff, that's it's finally time to get a place.
No more begging for a room, or hotel hopping for this girl! I want a real place with a garden to grow things that I can't, here. Valley tomatoes! Yum!
Well, the winds are still blowing. The rain is falling sideways... but somehow I like it, today. It's a cooking day. A domestic day.
What shall we cook?

March 11th

Tsunami!
I get teased in my family. Once we were on the beach and it pulled way out, and yes, I yelled Tsunami, and yes, I was really panicked. My kids have never let me live that down, and whenever something even the slightest bit worriesome happens, (like a pot boiling over on the stove) they start running, hands to the air, yelling, "Tsunami!!!" and laughing. Yes. I'm the butt of the joke.
I was up last night till 2 in the morning, watching the devastation of Japan, and praying for the people. I couldn't stop listening to the stories, to the news. I felt guilty for being somewhat of a lookee loo, but, I wanted to hear if we were in danger.
Sure, enough, they put us on warning, rather than watch. So, I set my alarm for six, as it was to "hit" a little after 7, and went to sleep.
I'm so sorry I didn't sleep, last night. I'm toast!
And the dogs are all confused, as instead of getting up and coming to the computer, I went down, grabbed their treats, a cup of coffee, and crawled back in bed with the TV on.
And so far... nothing. A tiny wave came back in after the ocean sucked the current out a bit. But, nothing, other than that.
We are getting a reputation for crying wolf. Or, for Jennie running, hands in the air, yelling "Tsunami" to protect my litte chicks. (You know, my 21 year old adult children...) Pheh!
And so, here I sit, all ready for the Kilchis to suck out all it's water, exposing mighty steelhead in a tiny trickle of water, before it all comes surging back in. Guess what? I don't think it's going to happen.
However, my brother called and told me he heard that there was an excellent clam tide coming in, this morning. Ha. Funny, brother David!
I just keep thinking, though, that it's darn good practice for us coastal living folks, to go thru the drill.
One day, it will really happen.
And then, I can truly run with my hands in the air, yelling "TSUNAMI!" and no one will make fun of me!
Thing is, though, at this rate, and without sleep, I will be too darn tired to do a thing about it!

March 13th

I've done three videos, lately, on fishing the Kilchis. On each one, I say, "OK, I'm going to turn this off, now, and catch a fish. When I do, I'll turn it back on and film me fighting it. See ya then!"
Then, I turn it off, fish, and fish.... and fish and catch not a thing! So, I never turn the video back on. Well, I did on the way home, yesterday, and simply filmed the defeated walk back home. Actually, it wasn't totally defeated. I found some great agates! The river always offers treats of one kind or another!
I haven't uploaded any of those videos. Just not special enough. I guess this one, last year, was just a lucky shot! Makes me giggle. You? How do you spell that? Whoo hooo hooo hoooooo haha! Yep. That's it!
So, I finally really did it, now. With tears in my eyes, (and I'm not sure why) I wrote on the mod board...

Change is inevitable, but we want the new changes at ifish to go as smoothly as possible. The doc says that I have to step back from most of the time and energy I have put into moderating at ifish. My life depends on it.
You know that this is difficult for me to do, because I care about you guys so much, and will miss our daily interactions. But, I'm giving it my all to get away from the 12 year habit of checking the mod board every couple hours, daily. Please be patient with me as I make that effort!

And, it's not going to be easy, I see, as my mailbox is daily, full of moderating issues. How do I keep my private messages open, and not deal with these things? Today, I just alerted them all to the mods. Not easy!
Crabbait responded:

Time for your new career, Jennie. It involves going out into the world, observing and reporting those things you found exceptional, noteworthy or just interesting from your unique perspective.
Like an adolescent child, ifish will be all right because it got a good start. And like an adolescent child, even when it falters you have to let it falter, catch itself and go forward. Trust that the direction you have set will prevail.
Now cut the cord, go and explore.

I guess I can do it. But, I have to know I can do it, or I'll get sucked back up. I'm working on that confidence.
The frustrating part for me, is that I don't feel that good, yet, so I can't just go fishing, or go traveling. It's going to be a gradual wellness, I think, and it won't even start until after radiation, I guess? And that's six weeks from now! So, hold on... watch me get well, I guess!
I will be fishing. I will! But, right now, and for six weeks, I'll have radiation every darn day thru Springer season, five days a week. Bill and I used to never fish weekends. We'd leave those to the crowds of week day workers. But, here I come, crowds! I have to fish!
I don't know what I'll do with myself, but there are lots of agates to "catch!" I guess I'll start, by doing

March 14th

Wow. Look at the forecast discussion for tomorrow! Time to get your cameras out! Looks like good weather for pictures of cloud action:

ANOTHER ISSUE WILL BE COLDER AIR ALOFT MOVING IN TUESDAY WITH A
STRONG CYCLONIC 300 MB JET OVERHEAD TUESDAY AND TUESDAY EVENING.SHOULD SEE THUNDERSTORMS DEVELOP TUESDAY EVEN INLAND...AND A FEW COULD HAVE SOME KICK TO THEM.

I love how they say that the thunder could have some kick!
You know, I've grown to be a Lamiglas girl.
I was a G Loomis girl to start, way back when, but frankly, I was a little disappointed when Ifish first started. When I approached them to be our rod of choice, they kind of snubbed me, and although I understand that the internet was "new" then, I still felt weird about it.
Lamiglas has just been so good to ifish. They have been so generous with donations for contests, for charity, for the good of fishing and our environment! I've come to know the great quality they offer, and now I almost exclusively fish Lamiglas.
However... there are times when I reach up high, and bring my old faithful 1025c and my shiny Shimano Calcutta off the rack, dust it off, and head out.
It even has my name engraved on it. I feel fancy!
There is something about this combo that makes me feel very "Orvis". . I feel like I should be driving a new Volvo, wearing a new red flannel shirt, dark blue jeans and fancy hiking boots!
Well, forget the Volvo... today I just headed out on foot with that 1025, still feeling very Orvis-like, but looking a little frumpy in my sweats!
It still casts like a dream, and I can feel every pebble my pencil weight hits on the bottom of the Kilchis river. Not only feel it, but actually tell you if it's ragged or smooth! If I'm covering sand, or gravel! Most importantly, I can certainly tell when a fish stops its way!
Today, oddly enough, the river is higher than yesterday. Too high, I'd say. I didn't have a change of pencil weight, so I made do. I just mostly wanted to cast, to play with the river.
Often you think you need more weight than you do, anyhow. I've noticed that Bill, who has years on me, in fishing experience, can fish with much lighter weight than I am comfortable with. So, I gave it a try.
I so enjoyed feeling all sorts of things on the bottom of the river, but a fish just wasn't one of them, today.
I have fallen into the easy way of doing things, as of late, and jig fishing, honest to God, is easy. SO easy, even a beginner can catch a steelie.
I had forgotten that their is a bit of skill in drift fishing and it was fun to revisit, today.
I used to be the expert in unraveling bird's nests in my line, when fishing with a casting reel. This, also, I had reason to revisit, today!
I was perfectly balanced and doing just fine, thank you, when Kilchis decided to run behind me, just at "that" moment, and sure enough, I caught his tail! It jerked, stopped, and then came loose and flew off his tail, but then was thrown into a bush, behind me! This really did up my line, but good! It was the biggest birds nest I'd seen in a long, long time! The kind you get teased about!
Luckily, no one was around.
Now, try unraveling THAT mess, with two dogs ready to come wagging their tail, your way! I didn't know what to do to keep them back! So, sure enough, waggly tailed Rev came up to me, to be loved, dancing in my stripped line! Argh!
"Rev, Nooooo!"
It was too late.
Rev was wagging her tail, dancing in the pile of line, and singing,

"You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put the hook in your tail, and you shake it all about! You do the pearlie "okie" with it wrapped around your snout! That's what it's all about!"

The long and short of it was, that yes... I succeeded in untying the dog, unhooking the tail, unraveling my reel loops and line, and getting it all back onto that pretty Calcutta reel, all tight and pretty looking.
And that's where it's going to stay until next time.
Jig fishing is so darn easy.

March 15th

DOH. I forgot.
I have a dissected aorta. Yep. All the way from my carotid to my iliac. The thoracic part is all dacroned together in a neat little package, hand crafted by Dr. Song. Dr. "Song in my Heart" I call him.
I actually forgot!
I thought about it once, when the oncologist looked at my last CT, and said, "You must walk very gently." That was funny. I laughed. I think it was her. One of my doctors said that, anyhow.
But, it didn't sink in.
In all this madness about breast cancer, I just spaced it all out. Until, that is, I was carrying the laundry downstairs, and Bill said, "Jennie! What are you doing?!"
Totally confused, I stopped my downward pace, holding the basket by my side.
Oh, yeah. -Not supposed to lift, am I?
For some reason, I guess because I'm done with chemo, I thought I was well.
I'm not. I must walk gently. I must not lift. I shouldn't fight salmon. But, believe it or not, I do forget.
Not only is it not natural to remember, it's scary to think about it! So, breast cancer was an escape for a bit!
It's one of those things that could go along just fine for a very long time, but if it so much as gets hit wrong, it could blow. Like an iphone.. if it gets hit wrong, it's glass, and it could shatter. (Who would make a cell phone out of glass, by the way?)
One thing my oncologist mentioned, was that she thought that I could have contracted breast cancer from having so many CT tests for my aorta. So, when they told me I had to have a CT before my radiation treatments, I asked if I could combine my next aortic CT with this one.
Good thing I thought of that, as I haven't had an aortic CT for too long! I had totally wiped clean any thought of those every six month darn scary CTs!
I mean, I spent so much time worrying about that darn aorta all the time. Then, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and by golly, I had a totally well aorta! Magic!
Kind of like hitting your thumb with a hammer so your other pains don't hurt!
Worry is such a waste of time! Isn't it? I mean, I could have just pretended all along that I had something more life threatening than a dissected aorta, and I never would have had to waste all that time, walking gently oto avoid a further dissected aorta!!
I guess I just transferred that worry.
And now, I find myself a little worried that they are going to find something wrong, there. A leak, a bulge, another aneurysm.
I won't be able to take it! If anyone tells me I need another surgery, after all I've been thru, I would just die!
That would cease my worry, now wouldn't it?

March 17th

The hummies are here! The hummies are here!
They are so cute! Each year, the first one gives me an absolute thrill that lasts almost all summer long! I love my hummies!
Hummies mean spring, around here.
So, this morning, since it wasn't raining, I pulled on an old, hardened pair of garden gloves, and got to work. They crinkled and split as I pulled them on. Proof that they'd been unused for too long! I wore them anyhow.
I'd ordered these cute little plants from QVC. They are dwarf butterfly plants. We were given one a long time ago, but it got so big and sprawled out, that even though it was pretty, it was unmanageable, and so we transplanted it way out back.
It has since expired in a wind storm.
Well, these are dwarfs! And they were so cute, I had to order them!
I showed Bill when they came in the mail, and he said, "Oh! Invasive species! COOL!"
I laughed. "WHAT?"
I still have to look this up. He couldn't recall the details, but yes. I think I've purchased an invasive species! GREAT.
I shivered as I got to work, emptying the water out of last year's piles of planters, deciding which to use, first, this year.
Yesterday I bought lettuce seed to start early in my cold frames.
Hey! If you ever want a really great place to buy cold frames, I really like this guy. His website is at "www.readygreenhouse.com". I found him by looking for a cover for my mini 4 shelf greenhouse. It came, right away. His business is in Tacoma and he's been so good to work with! Shipments come so fast, and I love my cold frame! I had problem with it, called him, and he graciously helped me!
After I finished the task, I came inside.
Oh, it felt good. Ever think about how good warm feels after being in the cold? I have such good memories of that. The warm pickup after a long rainy and cold day fishing with my Dad.
Or, the cool sprinkler water, after working in the yard with my parents on Saturdays.
A cup of hot coffee, and I was ready to head out, again, but this time, for a walk on the river.
As usual, I thought I'd failed. All of the sudden, it occurred to me what day it was! Never much for St. Patrick's Day, but tradition is tradition, and you must wear green! Thank goodness, I had pulled on a pair of fuzzy green gloves, at the last minute. St. Patrick's Day was not lost on me! Well, it was, and usually is, but I almost always save myself with an accidental something or another "green!"
The river has never been as glacial as it is, this year. Fast flowing and full, if you are lucky, and look long enough, you might see a twinkle of silver.
You know, as I was out there, I had a mind full of words, and I felt like running to the house to write them down. I often used to have that about music, and would push my way thru people to get to the piano, before I forgot a melody or a chord progression... but today, I just enjoyed them, and let them go. However, I do feel like saying this:

A flash of a steelhead, it is digging its redd!
A nest for its eggs in this cold, watery bed.
A sliver of silver, a bright twinkling light,
Magic in the river, the current it fights.
To add to the music, in this aquatic play-
a limb catches in the current, and drums a beat on my way.
The river is glacial, a light milky green-
A steelhead symphony for the Holiday, a St. Patrick's dream!


Happy Green Day! Enjoy everything green! It's all around you!
I'm going to add green food coloring to my mashed potates tonight!
And as I sit here, a hummingbird flits and zips! The sound of his wings mock the sound of the keys as I type!

March 20th

There are times when your emotions overcome you and you just have to run and hide. They are just too strong! I don't know who we think we are hiding from?! But, hide! Quick!
That's what happened at my family Christmas dinner.
My Dad sat at the end of the table, cementing, and heading up our huge circle of hands together.
Family.
I don't know how many of us were there, but it was nearly everyone in our family. Jamie, my niece, was gifted with a prayer that was just so touching, so appropriate, so blessed, that when she said, "Amen", half the circle broke and headed for the bathroom. There were more kleenex being used that day, then I'd seen in a while!
Tears. Emotion so strong that we all had to run and hide.
To this day, I wonder if my Dad really noticed? Did he know what we were crying about? Did he know he was leaving us? I think so.
Today, I decided to dust off my music, and clean my music cabinet. Been a while. Long strands of spider webs connected the bindings to the cabinet, itself. When that happens, you know it's time.
So much happening, lately. So much change. For the first time, ever, I've been having trouble sleeping. Something or another keeps me from wanting to fall asleep, and I find myself up reading at one, even, and then, feeling this faint, "oh, no! I'm going to be tired, tomorrow!" which makes it even harder, then, to go to sleep!
I'm feeling a bit like an orphan, after losing my Dad, now comes many other changes. Cancer, buying my first home, changes in ifish, just... stuff. Stuff that keeps me wondering where I'm headed, even though I have faith that thru prayer, it's the right direction. Still, change is scary!
I was dusting off each book, when I came across "Yesterday" by John Lennon.
My son is a huge Beatles fan, so I called him in, to show him.
"That's rad!" He said, studying each one. Not knowing whether to walk off with them when I offered them to him, or if it was safer just to leave them in my pile of books.
Some day, I will be leaving him.
I have a shelf for each style of music. Classical, romantic, baroque, jazz, rock, old fake books, church music, etc.
When I clean out my music shelf, I always set aside a small pile of special music to play, that my fingers haven't felt for a while.
I knew Andrew would be touched by Beatles music, so I included some of that.
I picked it up as he was passing by me, and said, "Time to play this..." Sure enough, he said, "Oh, no. I have to go, now. This is going to be emotional." Sure enough, when I started in, tears even came to my eyes.
I played "Yesterday", tossed the music aside, and I played "Let it be", "The Long and winding road" and some others.
Andrew's door was cracked open, and I knew he was behind it, peeking thru, listening. (Crying?- I think so!)
You know, that meant more to me than you can "imagine" (Which got played, too!)
When my Dad was around, I could bring him to tears so easily with Debussy and Chopin. Oh! And "New York, New York!" and things from "The Chorus Line."
I never thought I'd have that feeling, again.
Family.
The Beatles are a bit different; different genre, different generation... but, still.
I can still bring tears with my music.
Yesterday... all my troubles seemed so far away... And I know they will be far away again, soon, but for right now, I've gotta just "Let it Be".
I know that it's OK to feel what I'm feeling, to go thru what I'm going thru, because if it weren't for sadness, we would not know joy.
I start radiation soon. And I have to stay put, emotions overcoming me, but I am gotta just Let it Be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
..

March 24th

WOW. Hold on to it, is right! Below, an AIM conversation between my son and I. We talk a bunch during the day over AIM, even though he's just in the other room!
But, SPRING is in the air! I feel it! Is that why? Is that, where the joy?! Is it that I'm wearing a tank top under my sweatshirt, and I know that warmth is on its way, even though it is not here, yet?! :) Is it the planting of seeds that could start this feeling?
Read:

me: Wow.
me: Scary.
me: I have this feeling in my gut that feels like joy. Really weird. Haven't felt that in a while. Ever get that? For no reason? It's been so long for me! It is SO exciting!
Roo: Yeah :-) that's really great to hear
Roo: Hold on to it!
me: That's why I'm scared. Scared it will leave, or give me the ying yang thing
me: flip side.

I recall once, way back as a child. Mom and I were in the car somewhere, on the journey to/from piano lessons. It was always a special time for just my Mom and I. We'd do my lesson in Portland, (Either Nellie Tholan or Lillian Pettibone) and then on the way home, eat at Yaws Top Notch. A bowl of chili and an ice cream, or on special days, we'd split a Reuben!
On that day, I turned to my Mom and said, "I have this happy feeling!" (And it was the same exact simple feeling that I felt this morning!) Mom asked me what it was about, and I explained I didn't know. Just happy! She understood, and seemed really happy that I felt that. Like it was a notable experience, or personally relatable, or something she wanted. But, she seemed happy about it.
Like Andrew said, "Hold on to it!"
Back then, I just went with it... not knowing that it could expire, or show me its evil flip side. Now, I know that, so I feel scared, trying so hard to hold on to it, trying so hard not to scare it away!
In fact, I'm worried that by the time I get outside to take a walk, it will vanish!
I wish I could make it happen on command!
This is exactly what we all strive for! The best of all of any three wishes, by chance granted to us! Not winning the lottery, not being a Princess, or any of those things.. but the resulting feeling it would bring us! Joy! And to know that it is all possible for free! I feel a touch of it when I get a manicure, or a haircut, or do something that makes me proud of me... But, how do you make it happen out of the blue? And so intense??! Why does it come like a bird that lands on my shoulder? Why don't we have control of it?!
It's not the regular joy I feel over life, not the normal feeling when I sing "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart!" I do that, every day. I do! I sing it on the way to the river... That's a calm, pleasant feeling of plain old life-joy.
I'm sure that others would think I have that pit-of-my-stomach joy, all the time by my singing, writing, etc. But, no. It's not like that.
This joy is a special joy. It's a naturally occurring, fragile, almost ecstatic feeling that yes, I'm worried I will lose all too fast! I have bits of warning-feelings right now, that it is going away. Oh, terror! Don't take it away! I'm trying so hard to hold tight to it, that I'm afraid I'll squeeze it all gone!
As I look outside, the sky is getting darker and stormy looking. Is that the joy going to wash away in the rain? Wah! Quick! Grab it back! Paint me a sunshine!
So... I'm going for a walk, NOW before it's totally gone! Before the storm hits!
And pray to God that it begins to happen more often.
Lord knows that with all the world has been thru, we deserve it! We all deserve it!
We deserve that peace that passeth understanding- that simple ease that even through tremendous loss; through the worst earthquake, and the most intense tsunami, even thru the loss of a loved one, or the knowledge of a serious illness, we can be walking along, one day, and out of the deep blue sky, be gifted with that simple inner peace...that joy that I felt, today.
It truly is a peace that passeth understanding.

March 27th

It's stormy, rainy, icky out.
The dogs are restless. They seem to know that on days when the water relentlessly pounds on the roof, they are going to be staying inside. Usually, they just lie around, but today, for some reason, they are restless.
Perhaps because I am a bit, also. In fact, that's a no brainer. No matter my mood, they seem to catch it and match it.
I have cabin fever, so badly. I've enjoyed resting for the week, but then all of the sudden, I am done with that.
I gotta get out! I gotta go!
Yesterday Bill was gone all day at the STEP conference. I was going to go, but I just can't see me lasting all day, and that would frustrate me. I don't like having to bow out and explain myself. I don't like being sick in front of others. That's why the wig, too. When you are bald, and people see you that way, they are extra nice to you, and treat you differently. The "poor cancer girl" thing is not what I want to portray.
I do have a half inch of hair now, though! It's fun to watch the progress, slow as it may be! Slow as hair growing!
Funny. I have been very carefully apply makeup, lately. Adding rosy cheeks to hide the pallor. I used to wear makeup every day, but not so carefully. Perhaps I am being more obvious, by always trying to look my best? I hope not. My best is just not great, anyhow. I look pale and tired, regardless!
I can't wait until my hair grows out and I don't look so piqued. Then, I can relax, enjoy my wrinkles, and just be me.
- Well, let's not take this too far. I'm not going to be me with half of my hair gray! LOL. Bring on the color! Bring on the blond streaks! I can't wait! It will be so fun to go back to my beauty salon and have girls day, again! Whooo hoooo~!
I hope we get enough rain to bring the river level up. It's so clear and so low. It's fun to be able to search for redds, but I'd love to wet a line. I can't believe that I haven't caught a steelhead all season. Not one! And now, with radiation planned for the next 7 weeks or so, think I'll get to catch a springer? Agh! How on earth is this girl going to make it? Watching others on ifish, catching those coastal beauties? Oh, Lord, help me!
I will endure. I will! It will just make it all the more fun, the next time I get to catch one! Believe me, with what I've been thru in the last years, I never get the chance to get tired of fishing, or take it for granted!
Well, I'm going to take the dogs out, regardless of the rain. I'm also going to upload some of my river walks to Youtube. I have a bunch, and it's been a while! So, off we go! Come on, puppies! Let's go!
We shall not let gloom overtake us!

March 27th later...

I'm having such a rough day.
Having your fingernails fall off is no fun. It hurts! They started getting white about half the way down, and now they are separating from the nail bed, and hanging on by a hair. Not literally, but they are all shaky, and it's hard to type. I have them cut so short.
It is a bit depressing, as I thought once I was done with chemo, the symptoms go away. I guess not! My eyebrows and my lashes are growing back, and then I heard that they can fall out a couple more times, before coming in for real. Argh! Oh well. This is fair trade for not having cancer! I just miss playing piano.

 

 

 

HOME | EMAIL