Fishing The Coast,
Oregon and Washington
First, look for Stan's new column,
here! I'm off to put it up, right after I finish writing, here.
I received several notes from people who missed my writing. I have been a little behind, haven't I? I've just been so busy! Sorry, you guys!
This is so hard!
It's so quiet, here! Kilchis is at the vet.
The dogs are so used to coming down in the morning and going outside, then rushing in to get their treats.
I couldn't give them treats! They were by my feet waiting, wondering, "What the heck is up with our feeder?"
Kilchis has surgery today to remove a suspicious lump with "weird cells" in it, so he can't have any food at all after 10 last night.
All the toilet lids are closed, just in case they want water. Frustrating!
As soon as Kilchis left with Bill, (I didn't want him to think I'd do such an awful thing to him!) Rev was given her morning treats. She felt special, all alone with Mom.
It's just weird, though... and sad. Kilchis is almost 9 years old. Can you believe that? Where has the time gone?
When I heard that bad "C" word from the vet, my heart just fell.
Wow, that seems like yesterday! I'm so afraid to be without
him. He's with my constantly. No one loves me like Kilchy does. You know?
I'm quite convinced that the people we love most are the people/pets that
love us, most. Funny, that!
I'm trying to adjust to the fact that Mark Yano is so very ill. A friend on ifish updated me on his condition, so I called Mark.
When I first met Mark, I felt a common bond. But, not only that, he really blessed my life. He is one of those that you meet and just feel a connection to. What a great guy, and no one loves fishing more than Mark Yano! I love that about him!
His attitude is so uplifting! He is so positive! He is living with the three "F"s from here on. Friends, Fishing and Family. Oh, he loves all three so much!
My friend on ifish PM'd me, and told me about the latest... and he said he couldn't believe how wonderful his outlook was. I wrote back:
His attitude is enviable, but... I can totally relate to it. I mean, what can you do? It's kind of the same with me. What can I do? I walk around with my insides split open and they can go "poof" at any time, but what can I do?
Do I walk gently and do nothing that would disturb it or do I live my life?
Everyone is going to die, and everyone seems to want to hide that fact, or ignore it... but it is what it is, and it will happen to all of us.
I'm thankful for his friendship and will miss him so much. The sad part isn't for him. It's always for those people we love, because we are left behind.
Isn't that true, though? Oh, it hurts so bad and so long for those left behind! We have memories, though, to comfort us.
Still, to this day, while fishing out on the Kilchis, or wherever... I think of Jim Erickson. I high five him when I reel in a big one! I do! He loved the river so much and I still feel that in my heart. We adopt those feelings of others and now, the Jim's love for the river lives in my heart. We carry those passions on, for them.
I still giggle when I'm fishing on the bank and Bill calls me to get in the boat to move downriver. Jim would yell, "Toot! toot!" and I hear that, in my mind.
We are all full of little bits of things that others that have passed, have given to us. They never totally leave us.
But, even so, it hurts. But, I just think that the hurt is the reason we hold so close to those special things they shared with us.
Happy July 7th
What lovely sunshine! Finally!
I went to Portland to visit my Dad, yesterday and it was lovely and warm. Headed home, opened the car door and my gosh! It was suffering hot! So much warmer than Portland!
When it gets hot at the coast, it is stifling! So humid and uncomfortable!
It was lovely by dinner time, though and we all sat outside and dined with the chickens. :) They were happy to get out of their pen and eat biscuit crumbs that we threw to them.
I leave for Las Vegas on the 12th. Ruth and I are going to ICAST again. We have so much fun doing this! I love the new product showcase!
This year I have four or five meetings with fellow business people that I have met, thru out the years and it will be really nice to see them, visit, and come up with ideas for the upcoming year.
Ifish is getting too big for my britches, as everyone knows, so some day... when the right situation comes along, it won't be mine all mine, anymore. I'm ready for that. In fact...
LOL... I've been dreaming of things. Although I realize now, that it's just not an option, I actually thought about running away to do the Pacific Crest Trail! I know! I know! I can't... I couldn't make it, but it sounds so fun! I love thinking that I could, even if I can't, physically. I wish I could! I would love to leave technology behind, and just set out for the woods!
Another dream is hitching up a trailer with Kilchis and hitting every fishing spot alongside the hiway. I really can't do that, either, factually, but like I said, it's fun to dream! Imagine that! I could do a "Where is Jennie fishing, now?" column and write about fishing adventures along the road! Of course, I wouldn't be escaping technology. Instead, I'd be embracing it! But, still it sounds so fun!
I'd love the challenge. I'd love to prove that I can still do exciting things! Despite my physical limitations, there is so much life to live, out there!
I'm awaiting the test results for Kilchis' biopsy. I'm worried sick about that. If it indeed happens that it's the "c" word, all the more reason to hike a trail or take off in a camper with him to live life the way it was meant to be lived!
Anyhow... I'm off to the races. Stay cool out there! It's going to be a hot one! Reminds me of the day Bill and I fished the Columbia in the heat, like it is, now. We caught silvers while sitting on the back of the boat, rolling along with my feet dangling in the water. I miss that! I want to go, NOW!
Happy July 8th
Whoo hooo! It's the countdown!
5 more days till I leave for Vegas and I'm ready!
Well, not totally, but I'm almost ready!
My flowers are finally starting to look like Spring and it's the middle of summer! LOL. Finally, those scrawny, marfan looking long limbs searching for sun are receiving! And so am I! I am so enjoying this warm weather. It's not hot, though, like in Portland. It's just lovely!
Man, oh man, have I been flooded with man-gossip, this morning! Give me a break! I can't believe how some folks enjoy talking about other people's problems!
I'm going to make one statement and one only.
Here it is... hold on... hold your breath!
"I don't know nuttin' about it!"
Thing is, it seems that people like to attack others via the internet because they are too afraid to do it in person. So, usually things passed around are false, blown out of proportion, or driven by petty grievances. Just move on, you guys. Nothing to see, there and there are fish to be caught!
Have a wonderful evening, but do one thing for me, please? Stay out of other people's problems unless you are trying to help. Other than that, I'm sure you have plenty of your own problems to deal with!
Love goes SO much further and makes a much bigger and better impact. Try it!
Happy July 9th
And here I thought my interest was waning! NOPE!
It'd just been so long!
The water in the river is finally receding and it's uncovering beautiful slots where the summer fish hide! I'm all tied up with flies, and I'm on my way! I can't wait!
Yesterday, as I walked along the river, gazing into the water, my heart began to pound before I even realized why. (or my new shiny valve pounded!) It had happened so gradually, I hadn't even noticed. The water had finally receded! Every time I spotted a deep slot in the river, I thought to my self... I know what lives there! But, it took me a while to even figure out what was going on!
The other day, Bill and I went to a beautiful lake to fly fish. It's owned by the Oregon Fishing Club. We had so much fun, but the feeling of casting a fly was unfamiliar at first. It had been so long! It took me a while, before I was adequately casting.
It was the fly fishing, I think, plus the final realization of the water's recession that made it all add up.
You know, I keep thinking about Bill Monroe's signature quote, by Robert Service:
"Yet it isn't the gold that I'm wanting
So much as just finding the gold."
I can relate to that so well! The quest is best! The hunt! That's what makes my heartbeat quicken!
It occurred to me, finally that the hints that the Kilchis river gives had been hidden from me since the water had been so high!
The Kilchis river has been like a blank slate, a solid mirror of water, reflecting the sky only... It hid any hints to the secret of fish that I always long to solve.
"WHERE ARE THE FISH?"
The river gave no clues. It was high and boring and the river bottom was totally hidden from me.
Without any teasing, without any little hints given to me on my river walks, I was totally without question! It didn't even occur to me where the gold was! And... what I thought was a lack of interest was really a lack of question. There is nothing worse than a lack of question!
I needed to see it with my own eyes, what I hadn't seen, since last Spring! And the delay in seeing it, made me forget to even look for it! Does that make sense?
As I walked along, I saw what I hadn't seen in so long! Big pieces of shaded water, deep caverns! Shallow riffles leading into long, cool riffles where I couldn't see the bottom! That... that is where the gold lies!
My mind's eye imagined a reverse spider, perhaps, pulled in little short bursts, (they look like tiny squid) deep, thru those channels. That kind of thing, I KNEW would cause an explosion on my little four weight! Right there, down deep in those long mysterious buried rocks, lie undetonated fireworks! I know they are there! The fish! The magnificent cutthroat trout!
And so this morning, I'm off, with fly rod in hand to take care of this curiosity that left me staring at the ceiling all night last night... tossing and turning, not able to sleep.
Is it time yet? I'd roll over and look at the clock.
And finally the time is here. The light is on the deck!
I have a brand new tippet and an unused fly.
I know they are there! I just KNOW IT.
I'm off to find the gold!
Happy July 11th
Ruth and I are all excited about Las Vegas! You know, I
don't really like Las Vegas, but I love to go "Bye bye!"
Just anywhere new, fun, exciting! See people, get out of the regular schedule and break up the monotony! I can't wait! Plus, we have so much fun talking, giggling, laying in the sun... cruising miles of fishing aisles filled with toys and all kinds of fun new equipment!
We deserve this, girlfriend!
Seriously! I mean, I think... why do I do ifish, anyhow?
The first answer, of course, is because I love ifish! But, at times it is a bunch of work and a bit of stress. This is our reward, and part of a gift to the mods, that we totally deserve!
Talk about stress, though. I woke up this morning and something was off. Couldn't shake it, or even figure out what it was, though until I began to shake the sleep off. Then it hit me.
Molly! Where is my Molly?
Most every night... in fact I can't think of the last time she was absent, she comes up to bed at about 11, just in time for the news.
She demands that my pink robe be lay centered in the bed, and then she hops up and works the soft material with her paws until she falls off to slumber, all cuddled up and purring.
I love her. Can you tell?
She's my fishing friend. She follows me to the river, each day, and sleeps by my side, each night.
Molly was missing!
Each morning she waits on the bed, safely out of range of two rambunctious and excited dogs, preening herself for the day, still sitting perched on that pink robe. I brush my teeth, waiting for my robe before I begin the descent down the stairs.
She is a dog-cat. Half dog, half cat. She was raised with dogs, so she thinks she is one. Just a "better" one. She's convinced, and I am almost convinced, too!
It's so funny to watch Molly follow me out to the river with the dogs, bounding happily behind, if not ahead of them, as we go out to the river. She races and runs faster than they do! She knows how to protect herself in the race to the river. She's so good!
She's not at all afraid to get in the canoe with me, and paddle up and down the stream. She longs to get to the other side and she has jumped off the canoe to get there, a time or two. I had to wait for hours as she explored the unknown. It's a jungle on the other side of the river and she loved it!
She fishes with me. She jumps on my back and expertly trails down my arm, pawing at my reel. She knows how to land a big one with the best of us!
Molly was missing!
I posted to our prayer forum. I know. That's silly. Amongst all kinds of serious concerns, here's Jennie's concern.
I fed the other cat, "Sargy Sausage Pants" (That's his latest name...) but... no Molly... No Molly anywhere. Things were not right.
I called her. I searched the boys room. (She wouldn't go in there. It's much too messy... but I had to try.)
I poured a cup of coffee and it tasted bitter without her, here.
Molly... where are you?
I had to get some work done. I opened my e mail. There, first in line was the most awesome e mail. It was a chain mail, which I generally click "delete" on, routinely. But, this one spoke to me. It's written, here.
It started with this: "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name..." You know the one...
I read. I cried, I felt hope and love and God's hand in this.
I got up to call around the yard. Cats don't usually come when they are called. At least, not Molly.
But-- She did! Thank you, Lord! I am so blessed!
Dang, I'm blessed. I mean, SO BLESSED!
Molly the Fishing Cat is Home!
In my mind, I had prepared myself for being without Molly.
She's seven. That's longer than any cat has lived in this coyote filled
wilderness. My heart sunk and I was trying to become accustomed to it
staying that way.
Molly! I hugged her, (cats don't like hugs!) and fed her and praised her.
She thought nothing of it. She knows she is deserving of all praise at all times. Spoiled cat!
I think I'll take her to the other side of the river, today, and let her play as long as she likes. I'll wait for her as long as she likes. And then, I'll give up my chaise lounge chair in the sun for her, just as I do, every day. The world is her playground, and I'm here to serve her. Praise be to Molly!
But, praise be to God for my cat. No kidding. If I can thank God for running water and simple things, I can praise Him for my cat, right?
All things. I look around, and my birds are here, and I can fly fish in the day on a beautiful river (even if I don't catch anything!) and.. I'm safe, and I have a family that loves me, and I get to go to Las Vegas, and I have a new shirt that I adore... and today, I just really realize how darned truly blessed that I am.
Now, I'm going to go turn on some hot water (thank you, Lord!) and take a shower... and pack.
After that, Molly, two dogs and I are going out to the river to flop a fly around. I'm not a good fly fisher, but I enjoy it. And I'm truly, truly, blessed.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!
Oh! And while I'm gone, I'm going to make a forum so that I can write there, while I'm traveling. I don't know why I haven't done this before... it's so much easier than doing a whole new page while traveling. I'll link it at the top of the column, if you want to read about our travels!
Happy July 11th
I am so happy!
Two Fister on ifish helped me get my Dad a Sirius Boom Box all fixed up and set up to play Satellite radio! Thank you!
There is nothing greater than making others happy. He set off a chain reaction of happies!
I can't wait and I'm going to deliver it to my Dad, today! Don't tell him, anyone! He'll be so happy to have Siriusly Sinatra back in his life!
I'm off to Portland, and then to Vegas. Use the link below to check for my travel notes!
Happy July 18th
Kilchis stood outside my car door, halfway down the driveway,
howling, "MAHHHHHHMA! MAHHHHHMA!" He really said Mama! He really
does! He's SO cute!
I was wearing white pants, and after 5 seconds out the car door, they were not white any longer. I was covered in dirty pawprints. Hey! It's animal print! That's in style, right?
I'm SO glad to be home. SO glad to see my Kilchee-my cuteso! He's SO cute! I love him SO much! And... I think it's reciprocal!
Andrew said that he'd stand by the doggy door all night long, barking to see if I was home, yet. He didn't rest. He just barked and wagged his tail until someone opened the garage door to see that my car wasn't there, yet. :( Makes me so sad. I wonder why, by design, we are unable to converse with our dogs. You know, ask them when they hurt. Explain to them when I am gone that I'll be back. Frustrating!
All I know is that the joy that was displayed in the driveway today says it all. I love my dog!
More later-- I have so much to do, to catch up!
Kilchis! I'm home! Let's go to the river!
Happy July 19th
Neat new product, and I plan on getting one at River City
Fly shop, if they have one. The Rajeff's say that they will. I'm on my
This was in the new product showcase, and I must have one. I learned in a similar manner, with a piece of yarn on a lightweight fly rod. Pete (our admin) told me how to rig it. No longer! This is even more cool!
The Micro Practice Rod
Teaching someone to fly fish in the backyard? This is perfect! You must have one, and so must I!
In talking to Pete, trying to locate them on the web, he said, "There are two Rajeff brothers ... both have been national casting champions. Good people." That's what I thought, too. I met them on the airplane, and then again at the show. I voted for this product!
The thing is, I know how to fly cast, but I can get much better! This is akin to setting up your own golf course, at home! I can practice my roll cast and get better at that, for sure! I can practice inside or outside!
Sure-- I can just walk out to the river and fly cast for real, but this is a perfectly balanced, wonderful alternative that's easier than making sure I have the right fly, the right line, and tying it all up. I can do this in a flash! And then-- next time I do walk out to the river, I'll be so much better at it all! I can't wait to get mine!
Call River City Fly shop! I'm going to!Happy July 20th
On the marfan news list:
"Just because I have a Dacron aorta doesn't mean you can't complain about a bad hair cut."
I love that!
You know, if we couldn't laugh, we'd all go insane. So, this morning I'm doing my yoga laughing exercise, because I'm having trouble laughing this morning.
I was talking with Gary Loomis the other day. He looked at me square in the face and said, "Has the whole world gone crazy?!" I wonder, sometimes!
Happy July 22nd
I've been so terrible at writing!
Got a note today asking about Kilchis. How did the tests turn out!? Oh, my! I forgot to post about that, here! I posted on the board about it, but not here! Yikes! I'm so sorry.
The news is awesome! In fact, it's not even cancer! The "C" word was whispered in the initial appointment, but they sent it to the lab and it wasn't! I'm so relieved! So relieved and so happy that I totally forgot any mention of it! Just "Pht!" Gone! Out of mind!
I think that is a good thing to get outa my mind. Don't you? Kilchis sure does!
The surgery for him was painful, though. :( Just broke my heart listening to him cry all night, the first night. He just whined and whined! I so badly wished I had some kind of medicine to take the pain away, but whatever they gave me wasn't cutting it for him. And, he was all dopey and couldn't walk. But- the next day he was pretty good and then from there on in, better and better, each day.
Thank you, Lord above!
Now, Bill has surgery on August 2nd. In a way, I'm excited for him. No, in a big way!
He has cataracts, and he will be getting a new, shiny lens in his eye!
You know, as you might have read here, I know all about eye surgery! Way too much, in fact! I reeled off all the medical terms and quizzed Bill. He sat, looking all confused by the terms I used! Cracked me up!
Bill walks around and misses things that even I can see. I can just imagine the excitement he's going to feel after getting a new eye! I can't wait for his amazement over brilliant colors, like I had when I got my new lenses put in. I mean, you feel like a kid in a candy store, when you first open your eyes! It's amazing! I think that getting new lenses is probably better feeling than plastic surgery! I'd rather get new vision, any day!
And, my lenses were just sewed into the side of my eyeball. He still has zonules to sew his into! In fact, the doc thinks he will see better than he's ever seen! Ahhhmazing!
You know, little things like dirt and greasy fingerprints on the light switches... he used to see that and point it out to me. Now, I'm pointing it out to him!
Although it's kind of fun having better vision than he does, it will be even more fun to watch him be excited about his! I mean, after all... if he can't tie my fishing knots for me, then whom? I need his vision, too!
Also, I'll have to tease him about cleaning house. Getting the entire house up to 20/20 vision will take some work! He'll claim it's 'woman' work, probably! Oh, well! Maybe, just maybe he'll be so excited about it, that he'll do it, anyhow!
My flowers are finally looking like Springtime, if not Summer! They are so pretty! I'll have to take some pictures, or do a video.
But, don't you almost feel Fall in the air, already? I keep getting little sniffs or visions of it. Our birds are starting to thin out. Just a couple grosbeak, instead of hundreds. It's scary! Summer just started and now it's already hinting at Fall!
And... the berry fairy! What happened to the berry fairy this year? We have zip!, zero! raspberries this year! Our blueberries are just starting and there are so few of them!
I didn't get enough rhubarb to even make one pie. It's just measly looking!
And get this-- Bill JUST planted our garden! I was upset with him because he snuck out and sprayed it with Round Up last Spring!
Why have a garden at all, if it is poison? Why? Certainly not for the price of vegetables! We aren't saving anything by having a garden! And certainly not because it's easier! I work my rear off, weeding that thing. Certainly not because our vegetables are bigger and healthier! The store veggies are much more beautiful.
The answer is easy. I plant my vegetable garden so that I know that I know what it is I'm eating and that it's safe and clean and healthy.
That's the only reason.
I know.. I know... Round Up is supposed to leave without a trace in so many days... but I just don't buy it. Plus, I don't like the ideas that the worms ingest it and then the birds eat the worms, and... so on. I just don't like the idea of poison in my dirt!
Bill laughs! Let him laugh! It's Bill's garden, now, and he just now planted it! LOL. We should have measly lettuce by Christmas!
The trees show no sign of fruit. No apples, no asian pears, and no cherries. This year is just a total non-crop! We did get four shoots of asparagus, though! One bite for me, one for you, one for me, one for you... :)
I think I got a total of 9 strawberries! The berry fairy doesn't share when she only gets 9 berries! For all of you who don't know, I'm the berry fairy. I love to knock on the boys outside window and call out, "Berry fairy!" and share the crop. They'd carefully but gleefully pick their choice of berries from my bucket to munch on. Not this year! The berry fairy ate them all, herself!
It was just a late start for sunshine this year, and the plants around here just didn't take off. It's still quite chilly out, too! The sunshine, when it happens, feels so good!
It was 112 in Las Vegas when I was there. I got my fill! It feels good to wear a sweatshirt, here!
But- The sun is peaking out between the clouds right this moment. I gotta run and go catch it before it goes away!
Have a great weekend, my lovies!
Happy July 25th
Each day, as the long days of summer wind down, things in
the air... can't always put my finger on what, but things remind me of
Fall's swift approach.
The dry, hot wind, and the slow ripening of blackberries. The vine maples magical march to deep crimson leaves, as winter looms ahead.
Believe it or not as you gaze into the sun, winter is coming!
It's like a watched pot that won't boil, but once it does, I can't get it to stop, slow down, get it cool enough to drink in!
I feel twitches that bring to mind the decline into our coastal cold and winter wet. It's the longest season of the year. One gets so used to winter rain around here, that it makes summer all the shorter; all the more special. But, it's over in the blink of an squinty eye.
There are good things that come with each season, but summer is just so special and so darned short! How to sustain it?
Jim Erickson once told me "The Cutthroat will bite when the blackberries are ripe!"
So, Bill and I took a cruise into tidewater the other day with the duck boat to see. It was so warm out, I was able to wear a swimsuit in the boat! However, as often happens, that old NW wind blew up, shortly after noon and right after the tide change and it cooled everything down. Brrr!
We don't cruise tidewater often enough, anymore. But- there is something about it all. it's just not as much fun fishing for cutthroat, these days. They don't seem to be as numerous, and when I do catch them, three shades of guilt come over me. It's an ethical thing, I guess. It's a race to get them back into the water. If that's the case, why take them out in the first place?
I guess its partially the thrill of coming so close to these magnificent fish. More and more, however, I'm believing in the "If you aren't going to keep it to eat, why harass it in the first place?" I am not sure I need to harass fish, anymore. Sure, I love the hunt, but I think hunt and kill should go together. We hunt for food. We shouldn't hunt for pleasure. Should we?
And, the more that they (ODFW) allow us to fish and keep, the less likely I am to feel good about it. I think you are supposed to be able to keep two cutthroat, to take home. (Please don't take my word for it, look it up!) But- Oh, horrors! I just can't think about that! To eat a cutthroat? A sacred, beautiful wild trout that lives in our coastal waters? I can't! I can't! They are spiritual, awesome creatures! Thinking about cutthroat on the bbq brings me near to retching. I just couldn't!
But, the ride down the river-now that was splendid. As usual, staring into the depths of water is my very favorite thing. I lean over and stare into the Discovery Channel like picture, before me. Sometimes I can see my reflection and I am always amazed at my glazed over look, leaning over the water. I love to spy for big fish. Perhaps a rogue Springer, who is still somehow, for some reason, down in tidewater. It's possible! I could see one!
I remember one year getting my tire fixed at Les Schwab, nearby the Trask, and while waiting, walking down to the bridge to gaze into the water. That's always been the kind of girl I've been. Water nearby? I will follow!!
As I peered over the bridge, I was shocked to find a stack of springers laying there in the shallows! WOW! I couldn't wait to report back to "headquarters".
I drove home quick as skadaddle and found Bill and Jim Erickson having coffee at the Kitchen Table. Birds, fluttering outside the big window, flowers hanging, bunched in baskets. I nearly tripped over myself, trying to get to the table. Breathless, I said, "How can I get them?"
It was a warm day, and I was sweating beads! They laughed at me as I explained my plea and plan. Help me! Hurry! I was getting shorts and sandals and I was going down to get me one! LOL
They laughed some more.
I never did go. I think they sidetracked me for a real trip down the river, somewhere. We'd do that, and often. I'd do that again, in a flash, if I had the chance. I wonder now, how many times I told Jim no. That I was busy. What a fool I was! How I wished I'd never said no to Jim. Ever. I treasure each moment spent with the magic of that fishing pal.
As I cruised down the river with Bill, yesterday, I asked him, "How many times today have you thought about Jim?"
"Several", he said.
I still think of him, daily. Multi times, sometimes, and always when I land a fish! He was a large part of my fishing world.
Jim didn't like this time of year.... or, at least the approach and arrival of Fall. His beloved tomatoes would die. Loretta's suspense, entering the Fair was over.... and "things just die", he'd say.
Yes. Yes, they do. :(
I have a long essay that he once wrote me, about Fall. Perhaps someday I'll post it.
Try as I might, I couldn't convince Jim of the joy of Fall. Even though we'd fish together and have a great time, even though we'd catch lots of fish (!), Jim Erickson still did not like Fall.
I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit more like Jim does, about the approach of Fall.
Maybe it's a 'getting older' thing? Maybe it's the Fall of our life. The "golden" years. The Golden years of Fall that remind us that youth is Springtime and summer, and fresh new sprouts and green leaves. Contrary to that, our later years are the crinkling and crunching of our bones, along with the leaves that lay on the ground! Is that it? Ish!
A big gust of summer wind just hit me in the face, at that comment. It's true! Oh, yikes!
I look at my face in the mirror and it is no longer fresh and young. Its lines mark the sadness that I've had in my life, along with the extreme and awesome joy that I have experienced. I like my lines. They are my life.
I'm on my way out to enjoy the river with the dogs, this afternoon. Despite the seasons and the tough things we have to digest about life and death, there is so much life to live, today! Even if in one day!
Especially if the Fall of your life is swiftly approaching, get out there and live and love and enjoy life!
Or, you can do as Jim did. Funny guy that he is, he probably decided he didn't like the Fall of life, and just skipped it, altogether. :)
Getting older, sometimes, isn't an easy thing.
The fish are bigger where he is, the rivers easier to negotiate.
It reminds me of this song:
Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
And I forget all the joy that is mine today.
I'll be a dandy and I'll be a rover
You'll know who I am by the songs that I sing
I'll feast at your table and I'll lie in your clover
Who cares what tomorrow shall bring.
Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
And I forget all the joy that is mine today.
I can't be contended with yesterday's glory
I can't live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment and now is my story
I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing.
Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
And I forget all the joy that is mine today...
Happy July 27th
I picked some berries, and skipped by the boys room, without
stopping. Andrew caught me with his iphone, and I love the happy dogs
Flyfishing on a hot, sunny day. Kilchis got one raspberry and I got the other!
I updated the honors page! Click here!
Happy July 28th
I'm back into the groove of things, lately. Getting things
done, and actually remaining happy most of the day! Woohoo!
Sometimes, like this morning I note the happiness I feel and thank God for it. It's a true wonder what a good night's sleep does for me, since my heart surgery. Well, always, really. I know that at night when I'm tired, that I tend to get unhappy. That unhappy is easily fixed by the sun coming out, tomorrow! :)
But when I have that happiness, there is a fear of what might happen! I start to get afraid, and actually wonder when or if someone will write me something or say something that will hit one of my tender spots and make the happies go away.
Ifish is scary, as it gets bigger and bigger. The stats are up so high! We have about 50K unique visitors a week! Imagine that! WOW! I would have never thunk!
This! All of this from a little idea I had to start a journal online, meant only for myself, to learn how to do a website and to better my fishing! Yikes! I did both!
But, sometimes, in the every day life of ifish I get a private message or something from someone that hurts my feelers. You know, nothing big, but just an abrupt comment from someone who doesn't realize how much I put into this site. How much I care that it goes well, etc. It is then that I realize that I am not cut out for this big time stuff. I didn't mean to start a big thing.
Sometimes, when people meet me they say, "Oh! You own ifish!" and I say, "I didn't mean to!" LOL
I mean, come on! I have no experience in marketing. I have no business background! But, boy have I learned a thing or two! One of those things is that there are corporate cutthroat things that I don't like!
My mentors tell me, "Jennie! You just have to get tough!" Or, "Jennie! Don't give your merchandise away!" (I tend to do that, yes!) Or, "Jennie! This is business!" I know! But, I don't like business!
Look. I'm a pianist. I dabble in art. I love to put words together, but anymore, I don't have time to do any of those things and I miss them, terribly! I hear a song in my head, but I can't stop to play it. I used to walk on the river, and hear a melody and have to rush in to play it. I don't do that, anymore. First off, I can't even "rush" anymore!
I hear words to describe what I see, and I want to write them down, but I'm hurrying here and there to get this and that done.
I am behind in this and this and that!
I was talking to some fellow fishing webbies at ICAST. I learned that what I sell for 500 bucks a year, others sell for a thousand a month! (Banners, etc.) Oh, my! OOPS!
But, my goal was never money. This is a hobby. It's supposed to be fun. I guess that's what happens when you enjoy what you do. I guess that would be my best advice to those looking to do well in business. I have heard it to be true, and I think it is! "Have fun and enjoy what you do and you will find success!" (Even if that isn't what you were after!)
I'm on medication since my heart surgery. Some of the side effects of that medication are loss of memory and confusion. Like the one that slows down my heart beat. The cardiologist at Stanford said that I have a limited number of heart beats left, so they want me to have a very slow heart beat to sustain my life. Interesting way to put it, huh? That way, I'll last longer! That is, if my other aneurysm doesn't grow and blow! So far, it's been four years and I'm still ticking strong!
But, I forget things! Appointments, things to do! Well, it was tolerable for a while, but now that things are so busy, it's showing. I goof! That's so embarrassing! I am forgetting to deposit checks, or forgetting that I did deposit a check. I have forgotten to bill some people for three years in a row! I am just messing up!
Ifish is just too much for me, I think. I got away with it for a while, but the truth is, I was supposed to add new classified moderators three weeks ago, and I still haven't gotten to it!
And... I need a break! Even though I don't "work" that much, ifish is constantly on my mind, with things I should have done.
It is for all of these reasons, that I'm finally going to do something about this. I need help. I don't ever want to be without ifish, but I need help with the business end.
I would totally do without advertising, frankly, if I could, but I can't afford the bills.
I'm going to do something that will afford me some sanity and freedom of mind! I can't wait!
Happy July 29th
Anyhow... back to the story.
There is no two ways to say it!
I think I'm going to sell ifish!
I have threatened, cried, said I would on the board for years... but I so badly didn't want to. Part of me always wanted to keep my baby!
I was looking back at posts I'd written on the board, after doing a search on when I thought I'd sell ifish. Seems the "threats" started... oh, the year after I started it! LOL. Whenever I got frustrated!
But, I'm not frustrated so much, anymore, but just realizing how big ifish is, and that I can't do it all!
I've been talking to some interested buyers for over three years, now. The same ones plus a couple.
I've still not totally decided on which way I'm going to go. It's so, so hard to decide!
I care so much about ifish and I always want to be a part of it. I want it to always stay with the same ideals I started it with.
I'll always write here in my "Jennie's Fishing Life". In fact, I'll probably have time so that I can even fish, again and thus, have something "fishy" to write about again!
I'm so wishy washy, though. I'm in the process of writing down what each buyer might offer ifish, and how the future might play out, with the intent of certain buyers.
Of course, nothing is written in stone, and I'm not even sure any of it will happen, frankly. I'm just listening to offers.
With my health the way it is, there is just no way I can continue to do justice to all the work that needs to be done, here. It's just too big for my britches!
I wrote about this, kind of sadly, on May 20th of last year. I thought it was going to happen, then. For those that don't understand why I'm letting go, this might explain it. There really are some difficult parts of running this site. It will be so refreshing to let someone else deal with that!
Anyhow, I'm consulting with lawyers and other mentors to help me with this decision and for other legal matters. I've finally made a decision. Now the hard part! Following through!
Happy July 30th
It's soft and cloudy and warm, out. I like it.
I just put up Stan's new column! The third part in a series on a new lure from Idaho.
Now that all three parts of his story are up, there won't be any waiting! You have the whole darn thing laid out for you!
Have at it! I had to wait!
I'm off to go visit my Dad, today. It's been a while and I'm in big trouble! I don't get cell service at home, and when I drove to town, there were four calls waiting from him. Yikes! Bad daughter! Bad!
Bill fished Puget Island with Joe Schwab and Dudley Nelson, a few days ago. He had a ball fishing in his new boat. I guess they fished with K-11s, mostly, although Joe experimented a bit. Joe caught and released 2 wild fish, Dudley played long line release and Bill... Well... Bill? He says "I didn't score!"
But, they had a ball. I wish I would have been there to hear the game officer stories Dudley and Joe told. That's always fun! It was guys day out, though.
I have an idea, if you haven't done this, yet. Joe wrote an awesome book. One of those that you can't put down. It's a quick and easy read, yet fascinating and exciting! You can learn about that, here
It's called "Outlaws on the Big River".
Joe posted, "I am offering this caveat to anyone who orders it though me. For $13.95, shipping and handling included, I will donate $3 to CCAPNW or NWS. At the end of each month I will tally results, post them here and send the organizations a check."
It's a feel good book, all the way around. Ifish donated the ad space and Joe is using it to raise money for the fishes. Way to go, Joe!
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