Fishing The Coast, Oregon and Washington

December 2005
Jennie's Fishing Life

December 1st

Hey! Happy December!!!!
See? I told you! If I talked about snow, it wouldn't snow! Darn me anyhow! The weather forecast said snow last night, and now it's nowhere to be found! I woke at 1:00 and dashed to the window to see! Nope! I woke at 5 and dashed to the window! Nuttin! Then, I read the forecast. It said "rain." Them's fightin' words!
I don't know... I shake my head. Last year I did a snow dance, and it worked.
Of course, last year I also fished for steelhead early, and kept catching bright-as-a-dime late chinook! So, what do you know? This year, I go out with a First Bite Jig and my light rod thinking, "Heh heh... gonna get me one of those chinook on accident.. heh heh.." And NO! There is nothing biting my jig at all! Go figure! I guess accidents are supposed to be just that! Unplanned... accidents.
So, today I'm going to put on a big glob of eggs and go catch a chinook. On purpose! Either that, or a jig for a steelhead. We'll see if this plan works!
I'm so excited about the Christmas party that I can hardly stand it! I've checked my list twice, and I know who is naughty and nice. I'm getting ready! Things are going smoothly! Hey! This couldn't be Christmas!
I've got my upstairs loft all decked for the holidays in brightly shining lights and greenery. I have my most beautiful fake little tree topping my piano. It's one of those little laser light trees. I adore it, and can't wait each year, to bring it out. The lights are gorgeous on that little tree!
Of course, soon I get to pick out a big, standing noble tree, and ohhhhhhhhhhh I love that smell! I can't wait for the decorating day!
Today, I may put out a couple lights, outside. That is, if it doesn't rain! Snow would be nice for this occasion, but I doubt it, now. It is awfully chilly, but well, we'll just see. It would be a treat, even to experience a few flakes!
Off I go-- Please read Stan's column, today! It's fresh out for December. You can find it by clicking here, or checking the archives for some interesting back reading.
Have a great Holiday Season-- I am! I am so thankful and excited to get another chance at this!

Let it snow!

December 5th

Wow! I went a long time without writing on ifish! I was out of town, and I had a great time! I'm sure tired now, though! Talk about trying to catch up on my sleep! I came home, sat down on the couch and within minutes, I was asleep! Then, I caught up on ifish and took Kilchis for a walk. After that I got 10 more hours of that wonderful sleep! My own bed felt like heaven!
I went to the NSIA banquet, which was a smashing success. I am so proud of what Liz does. What an awesome lady! So many industry leaders all in one place! I really had fun putting names to faces and meeting some new ones! What a great business to be in! The fishing community is full of great people that I am very proud to call friends.
I left early, because I was so afraid of the road conditions. It was a good thing I did. When I left on Friday, the roads were just wet. Had I left on Saturday, they were all snowed over and the drive would have been much more dangerous. Yesterday, on my return trip, it wasn't bad, either! It was beautiful and snowy. I almost stopped at one point, as I witnessed a family playing with their sleds. Memories of doing that with my kids came flooding back to me. I so badly wanted to stop and ask for just one ride down the mountain. You have no idea how close I came to doing just that!
I stayed at the Sheraton Airport and received a great rate through NSIA. I had so much fun watching airplanes take off! I remember way back as a kid, my Mom driving me to the airport to watch them take off. I'll never get tired of watching jets. They amaze me, and still give me a child like rush when I see them! I sure got my fill this weekend!
The Sheraton was nice, but they promised a free WI FI connection, and I could not connect to the internet. Thus, I didn't get all of my catch up work done. I'm still doing that, this morning! It was nice, though, to have a cyber-less vacation.
Tonight is the Christmas party! I'm so excited! I'm also so glad to have a driver! Bill is driving me. Whoo hooo! I'm a little nervous even as a passenger to come home on those icy roads, but I'll pray some angels on all corners of the car, and we'll be fine.
Every year I worry about attendance of the children's Christmas party. I sure hope you are going to come! If you don't know, it is at Pietro's Pizza in Milwaukie from 6 to 9. The link and map are here. I have had more fun preparing for it, this year. There is no way I'm going to miss any part of Christmas, in any way this year, and what a grand way to kick it off! Every year, I get so emotionally moved by all of the toys coming in for these kids. What a way to set the mood! The reason for the season! Can you believe that one year we gathered 900 toys? That's pretty good for a little fishing web site! Plus, I just adore greeting all of the people. I think it's my favorite ifish event!
My house is mostly decked on the inside, and I adore sitting alone in the living room, fire blazing, Christmas carols on the stereo, and the lights glowing all around me. We've yet to get a tree, but that will happen this week! I've also got to get some help in stringing a few on the outside of the house!
Oh, Christmas! I do adore this season!
After the ifish party, it's all about family and friends, and staying home. It's about walking on the river and watching spawning salmon dash from the river's edge when my footsteps spook them!
It's about decorating a tree outdoors for the birds.
It's about making my way upriver to the spawning viewing area, and gulping huge, cold, surprised-and-delighted breaths of air as I witness a group of them flashing their sides in the stark, cold sunlight.
It's about squinting my eyes to see through the brightly lit riffles that dance in the cold winter sun.
It's about that mind numbing, bone jarring cold as I reach for my rod in the garage and wonder how long my fingers will retain the ability to cast as I hope for a bright as a silver snowflake steelie!
It's about the surprise of hooking into a mint bright chinook with my whippy 1143! Ho! ho! ho!--oh nooooo! (giggle!)
I love this time of year. The colder it gets, the more clothes I can bundle on. I wish for snow every day. It so rarely happens, that I live each and every winter day with hope! Eternal hope! Hope for snow, and hope for chrome fishes! What better way to live than in a suspended state of hope and anticipation?
I have so much to be thankful for. My anniversary of my heart surgery is coming right up. December 9th, I believe... But what day do I celebrate? What day is my anniversary? The date of my dissection, or the date of my repair? I have to figure that out! Or, do I just get to celebrate each and every day, instead of just one? Hey! That's a great way to look at it! Every day is my anniversary! Whoo hoooo!
LOL... This is hilarious! I called my Dad and left an animated voice message for him. I was all excited and told him about being at the airport, and all of the airplanes... and the Christmas party, and my room with all of the pillows on the bed, and that I felt like a princess! Anyhow, he called back and left me a message. He said that it sounded like I had been having cocktails, and that that was just fine!
Hey! I didn't have a cocktail at all! I was just excited! Nice to get his parental approval for my childlike excitement! I'm going to call him this morning and let him know that I hadn't been drinking. I was just living a dream! I don't think I've had a cocktail in years! A glass of wine here and there, but no cocktails! Who needs 'em?
I'm goofy. My memory is not as good as it once was. I live with a bunch of pains, here and there and everywhere. I can't walk far or for very long. My hair is fried from the surgery and still growing back. But hey!-- I don't care!
If people think I'm drunk with excitement, I am!
It's Christmas! Jesus Christ was born today! and... I'm alive and I can still fish! That's a huge deal! We should all be so lucky!

December 6th

What an awesome Christmas Party!!!
Yes, I'm sick and I'm tired and I have a lot of recovering to do, but it was worth every minute of it! I went to sleep last night with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head! What a total success last night was! So many toys! So many wonderful, giving people! I can't even begin to be able to thank each and every one of you! Makes me cry, just to try!
Thank you!!!!
Special thanks needs to be given to Gary Cheney, our dedicated truck driver. I sent this to the crew at Bullet Freight, and it doesn't even begin to cover how deep this river flows for them and for all that they do!

Dear Bullet Freight, David Logsdon and (dear and special!) Gary Cheney,

I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your dedication and totally selfless donation of time and truck for the "Christmas for Kids" event.
When I finally found you at the pizza place last night, sitting alone and off to the side, I just had to give you a hug!
Several people gather together for the food, the friends, and the giving of toys. It was clear that you were there for one reason and one reason only. You came for the kids!
I wasn't able to attend the delivery of toys to Emanuel Hospital, but my understanding is that there will be a Christmas party, hosted partially by a Mother who recently went through the loss of her child.
Late last evening, when they opened the back of that Bullet Freight truck you were driving, over 650 toys spilled out! All those colorful toys in all shapes and sizes were presented to this Mother and the administrator of the event, Sally Kirchoff. It was overwhelming! I can only imagine the emotions running through that Mother's soul.
Gary, it couldn't happen without you and the immense heart, dedication and donation of your time that it took to pull off an event of this type.
I'd like to thank you from the children who will wake on Christmas morning to a little piece of the magic you helped to create. Thank you from all of the members at, who take pride in this event every year, and who couldn't pull it off every year, without your help. Thank you for being so reliable that not a worry goes through our minds that "Gary the truck driver" will be there for everyone that benefits from this event.
You are a shining example of the spirit of Christmas and the reason for the season! You have a huge heart!
Angels come in all shapes, sizes and forms and we had one with us, last night!
That angel was you!

Thank you, so much!

Jennie Logsdon Martin and the crew at

December 7th

I am tissue paper! It really is funny that "tissue pae pae" was my nick name when I was little. You know, complete with the french accent! It's true! I am!
This was even before anyone knew I had marfan syndrome. That's funny, because it's a very apt description for a connective "tissue" disorder such as marfan syndrome!
I was so ill yesterday, that I was certain that I had the flu. I slept nearly all day. I didn't eat. I couldn't. Even with a Costco chocolate cake staring me in the face! I kept waking up, then going back to sleep. After dozing all day, I continued on at night to sleep the whole night through. I was totally exhausted! I even had a fever! I must have gotten 16 hours of sleep, yesterday.
Then, this morning I woke up, and thank God I almost feel alright! I mean, I am ecstatic! Just to feel alright!!! 'Still am pretty darn excited! I can get something done, today! Christmas stuff!
It's funny. I told someone I was sick yesterday, and they said that they were sorry. I said, "You know, I'm really not sorry. I have an excuse now, just to rest."
I find it very difficult to give myself the permission for time to rest. Rest time makes me feel overwhelmingly guilty. I kind of think that's why I get so ill. It's a double whammy. I go too fast when I'm not feeling well, and I also hesitate to take time off during that time. But, the problem is, I rarely feel well, so I'd never get anything done if I just rested all the time!
I'll tell you a secret. Remember last year, when I was in the hospital? I actually dissected my own aorta, just to take a month or two off! OK, that's going a little far... I really didn't, but I can't believe looking back and thinking, "That wasn't a bad vacation!" I'm sure not going to repeat it, if I can help it, but man oh man... what I wouldn't do to just rest for another couple months! I am tired!
Light is spreading across the valley and I think I'm going to go for a salmon walk. I love watching the pairs of salmon spawning. It's fun to see the same ones in their spot, flashing on their redds. Yesterday I found that a pair that I had been watching had been reduced to just the female on the nest. The male must have finally given up the fight? I wonder if the female will be gone, too, this morning.
I haven't been fishing. There is a week or two in time between the salmon spawning and the actual chance to catch my first steelhead, and we are in this period, now. I really feel that during this time, when the river is so clogged with dying salmon, that the steelhead just shoot through, dodging salmon carcasses, not really holding anywhere. Can you imagine being a fresh, bright steelie, and hanging around next to dying fish? Don't think I'd want to hand around that scene!
I have tried in the past to drift through some of these drifts, and I keep feeling my weight thumping against dying salmon backs. Yuck!
Well, it's off I go. Maybe I will take a jig, just on the off chance that there will be a steelie, somewhere. You never know-- I have been known to catch a late bright chinook, trying to catch a steelie! It can happen, and when it does, it gives me a renewed burst of energy and a big ol' smile! I could use some of that!
I hope you have a wonderful day. When I get back, I'm doing some online shopping. Thank God for that option, as I just don't have what it takes to battle those crowds!

December 7th... later

I just spoke to my doctor. He mentioned something that has bugged me in the past.
You know, I look normal, but I don't always feel normal. If you took a picture of me, today, I'd look like any other normal person. I have things that don't work normally. But you can't see that with your eyes. So, when I feel crummy, well wishers innocently wish me better health to come. Things like, "I hope you feel better, tomorrow!" While that is very nice, and I appreciate their thoughts and kindness, they are frustrated when the next day, something else is wrong. I often get the look like, (and once someone even said!!!) "Jennie, you are always sick! Do you take care of yourself properly?" Argh!
When someone is in a wheelchair and paralyzed, it is obvious that they will not be getting better. You don't say, "I hope you feel better, soon!" But, since my disability is mostly hidden, I often get those puzzled looks. When I hold things close to my face to read, I get teased that I must have forgotten my glasses. It doesn't look like I see double out of one eye and not at all out of the other! While most of these things I'm used to and don't bother me much, imagine my horror when my legs start giving out in public, and people think I'm on drugs... or worse!
Imagine the few times I decide I deserve to use my disability parking permit, and someone says, "Oh! Look at that woman using that permit illegally!"
I got to thinking about this because of my guilt over taking a rest day, yesterday. I don't look like I need a rest day! I look well! I mentioned it to my doctor and he mentioned that this is a common frustration of living with a hidden disability.
I think that's why when I'm in public and my legs start "wiggly woggling", I start to giggle-- hysterically, at that! Hey! If you are going to assume I'm on drugs, I might as well play along!

December 9th

It's the worst, most wonderful smell that there is. I've talked to the neighbors, and they've told me several
"way back when" stories of the river. Stories of when you'd have to close your doors to the outside during the peak of spawning season. The smell was that bad. The entire riverbank was full of dead and rotting salmon carcasses.
For the first time, I have a hint of what this must be like. Usually, we have a few carcasses here and there. This year, I have to gently step over their bodies to get to any of the fishing holes. Once there, it's difficult to stay, the smell is so extreme. Every direction I look, they are there. Many, in colorful costume, but the most prevalent color is that light orange color you find in your coloring box called "salmon". I remember that color, clearly. I always wanted to use it, as I've always been attracted to salmon, but when you color with it, it doesn't make your paper pop. It's just... well... salmon colored. It blends with the rocks pretty well, and if it weren't for the smell, I'd just as soon have them stay.
It's kind of a creepy feeling, though, having any sort of dead creature laying bedraggled across the rocks beside me. Especially, so many of them! It reminds me of how fragile life really is, and I can't help but fish with a bit of a shiver down my spine. But, imagine pulling a bright, chrome steelhead out of the river with this season of dark and death surrounding me! I have to do it! The proof of life still existing amidst this cemetery of salmon affirms my own life.
At this time of year, it's easy to feel like I live in a cavernous mortuary... but it's really not that way! Nature's orchestra is actually warming up for a very lively performance!
All is still and cold, damp and mostly muted/quiet in the forest. Dead fish are scattered about the rocks in a place where the river runs too full and strong for their declining strength.
But listen! Listen carefully!
The water song is constant and quiet, providing the warm up orchestration before the curtains of Spring are lifted. One day, the first light will finally peak out over the Kilchis mountains like a spotlight, and the curtains will begin to lift.
Slowly, the river creatures begin their dance of life, and the most amazing things begin to happen! Beautiful colors in sharp contrast to the shadows begin to appear! As the river recedes, mossy greens dazzle in the sunshine, and play in your field of vision atop the rocks. Small purple and yellow flowers dance in the light breezes (under the trees-es!)

The alders and maples begin to dress for the performance. First with buds of purple, then leaf by green leaf until the new sunshine scours out the cold of winter and their branches become full and swaying and heavy with costume!
Oh, the anticipation of spring! I can hardly wait! Until I can color with a full box of "spring" crayons, I'll be happy with my one little salmon colored one. The color doesn't pop out at you, but it's a beautiful color, nonetheless... and just think of the possibilities!

December 9th...later

It just occurred to me that today is my one year anniversary for my dissection. Wish me a happy dissection?
Lots to think about and reflect on. Such, as this that I wrote, last December 8th. Funny, how it is themed around what I wrote about, today!...and odd how it has to do with darkness and death.
How about this long thread that goes on and on about my surgery and recovery? Brings tears to my eyes.
I think I need to be nice to me, today. What shall I do?


December 10th

I have been planning for a while what I would do on my one year anniversary of my repair. Something exciting! Something fun! Something just for me!
Oh! I forgot! I have kids, and they come first, right? I get to help Andrew transport things from his apartment, to home! Hm. Well, it wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I've decided to look at it this way. It's normal. It's life. It's what I would choose to be doing if my life were going as planned. And it is! I'm not in the hospital, and I'm not so ill that I can't do normal things!
...and hey! While I'm in Portland, I can do one of my favorite things! Stop by Baskin and Robbins and have a Jamoca Almond Fudge Ice Cream! Whoo hooo!
Hey, if you have a moment and you are bored, I would love it if you would click on the link below, and check insurance rates. I tried one of the affiliate links and I have to make 25.00 to get a payment. I want one! Sounds fun, to me! I'm at 19.00 and can't break over that! Hey! I need ice cream money! Help me!

December 12th

I'm getting used to planning for events and the resulting "make up" time, afterwards, but this is nuts! When I have plans for the weekend, or anything big, I know to plan for three or four days of "sick" time afterwards. It's just the way it is. If it doesn't happen, then lucky me! But, if it does, I have those days put aside because I know that usually, that's the way it goes.
For instance, the weekend of the NSIA banquet and my Christmas party, I put aside four days after for recovery. I needed every last one of them! I'm glad I put them aside!
I made cookies yesterday and I had the most wonderful day! I was so productive! I felt good! I felt happy! I got out all of the Christmas cards that I had saved for years. I always told myself that when I get older and not so busy, that I'd put together photo albums and go through my kids school years things. I'll put them all in nice order, and throw some of it away.
Well, I guess those years are here! I am officially "older" now! Yesterday, I went through all of those Christmas cards, did my share of weeping over memories, and saved the ones most special to me. I also sorted through them and gave a bundle of them to my ex, that would be meaningful to him. I went from an orange crate sized box to a small shoe box full of cards! It felt SO good! I also wrote a permanent list of addresses, and wrote out cards!
Then, I made thumbprint cookies, and Russian tea cakes!
So, at 10:00 PM, I fell asleep with a headache. It wasn't bad. It hurt, but was tolerable. I took a couple Advil and called it a wonderful day... a wonderful life!
Oh no! At 4:20 AM I woke up with the most excruciating headache I had ever thought possible. No! It wasn't possible to hurt this bad! Was it? In fact, it was the worst pain that I ever imagined anyone could suffer! I'd have rather had a limb cut off it was that bad!
I called for Bill, who graciously brought me ice, heating pads, aspirin, then vicodin... then morphine that I had been given years ago, for emergency break through pain. Eventually, trying to lessen the pain, I took them all!
I finally gave up, and asked Bill to take me to the hospital. While he got ready, I had fallen asleep. He let me sleep. When I woke up, the pain was still there, but at least tolerable. Let me tell you, before, it was not tolerable! My limbs were contorting and I was in tears! I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone! Nothing helped, either!
Anyhow, just off the phone with my doc, and I need to go have a cat scan, since I'm on coumadin. They are making sure I didn't have a "bleed". I did bump my head, yesterday, so it's good to make certain.
Let me tell you how wonderful it is to feel good. I had such a wonderful day, yesterday! Yes, today really bothers me, and I feel rotten, but yesterday! Oh, yesterday was grand!
You know how they say that you'd never know what it felt like to be happy, if you never felt sad? Well, it is a relative thing! When I feel bad, I feel really, really bad! But, when I feel good.... LOOKOUT! It's the most awesome feeling in the world! People think I'm nuts and tease me because I wander around the house, nearly always in song, (and loud song, at that!) when I feel good. Bill often notes to other people that when Jennie is singing, that he knows I'm not hurting, so even if it's off key and awful, it's wonderful! IT IS!!!
So, that said, I'm off to the hospital. I hope you have a good day... but I hope it's not too good! I'd really much rather you would have normally good days instead of the extreme highs and lows that I seem to have.
At the same time... I bet you've never felt as darn good as I did yesterday! It's quite an experience!

Boat US

December 13th

Here's a picture of my darling Roo. I'm glad he's home for the holidays! Isn't he cute?
Speaking of darn cute, I love my chickadees! When they first started to show up here at the house, years ago, I thought they were cute enough. However, they were very shy. They'd swoop in, ever so quickly, grab a seed, and dart back to their hidy spots.
Now, we've got 10 times as many, and they are actually friendly sorts! Not afraid, they will land a foot from my head when I am out feeding, talk to me a bit, and then dart away. They are darling! Right now, I have up to 10 of them actively feeding outside my window. They are a very interesting little social structure to study. I love the way they interact with one another, and with me! They talk to each other as they hop from one feeder to the next. I'm beginning to think they are my favorite winter bird.
They are all in their places with white little faces!

Doesn't everyone have a thrush pet?

The varied thrush are finally showing up in good numbers. We have not seen but one gold crowned sparrow, about a month ago. Wonder where they are? Looking back at my calendar, though, I guess it's not too unusual to have them absent this time of year. It's a bit early.
One lone kinglet comes to feed, daily. He's so tiny! So cute!
We have a full grouping of junco feeding daily. It's funny how they prefer ground feeding. We have to be awfully careful to sweep up the fallen old seed, and to provide fresh seed (but not too much!) daily. Otherwise, they mold and I'd hate to spread that awful disease around.
I've sure learned alot about bird feeding. Partially from experience, a lot from reading Bill Monroe's Homes and Gardens articles, and quite a bit from the web.
I used to just throw seeds out. Not anymore!
I have put off driving Andrew to Portland to finish up his apartment business, so as soon as the roads thaw, we are on our way.
I'm feeling pretty good, today. I had to go for a cat scan yesterday, regarding my headache. No bad reports, and I'm on my feet again, today. Hurray!
Well, off I go. Enjoy those birds, will you? It's a wonderful time of year to study and appreciate the beauty of the Northwest winters!


December 15th

I have a new pet. He doesn't come well when called. I pretty much have to drag him around by his leash. But, drag him around, I do. From room, to room, every where I go! His leash is kind of neat. It has one end that plugs into the wall, so he never runs off.
His name is "Presto". It says so, right on his face. He keeps me warm, and sits by my feet. I don't even have to tell him to sit/stay. He just does it, with a warm, glowing smile.
I drag him to the kitchen to sit at the table where the floors are icy cold. I drag him to the office, where he takes the chill out of the air. I drag him up the stairs and sit him on a chair so he's level with my bed. He doesn't have any fur, but that's OK. He's so, so warm and friendly!
It's so cold outside! I know it's not very nice, but when the weather warms up a bit, I'll just put him in the closet, and forget about him. He is an independent sort, and when I take him out again next time, he'll just light right up! Here is a picture of him.

Isn't he beautiful?

It's 28.6 degrees out, right now. The entire yard is all frosted over. It does look like it's snowed! Even the trees are sparkling! There is a pink cast to the sky, and it reflects on the meadow. I simply adore pink sparkly things! I have my Christmas lights on, and even in the daytime, they look gorgeous!
And now, onto coffee makers. I really love my coffee maker, and every night I load up the coffee, (plenty of Peets!) pour in the water, and set the timer. If all goes well, I get up to fresh brewed coffee.
This is if all goes well. If it doesn't, there is a price to pay!
Why is it that if you accidentally forget to set the timer, that it takes twice as long to make the coffee? There is no longer wait in the world, then for coffee in the morning. Every drop that drips out of the maker is agonizingly drawn out. If you watch it, it's worse that waiting for a teapot to boil. If you turn away, it's a bit faster, but still! Oh, my! The wait is forever! My fingers drumming on the desktop make dents in my table.
And how bout this? You have a fishing trip in the morning, so you set the timer for 0-dark thirty. You wake up and the coffee is made, and everything is wonderful! But, the next day.... oh! The next day! If I forget to reset the timer, I leisurely wake to cold, three hour ago brewed coffee! Oh, that's the worst!
Nothing worse than throwing out coffee, except for microwaving a cup and having it taste awful!
The thing is, I've become spoiled. I used to wake up, leisurely make the coffee, and everything would be fine. I enjoyed the smell of it being made, the steps it took to hand grind the beans, the whole ritual of the process! Now, I'm so accustomed to dragging myself across the kitchen floor and slopping coffee into my cup, that when it doesn't happen that way, I'm lost!
This is the means to the end, right? Realizing my hopeless addiction to coffee is going to make me break free from it, forever. Right? Am I that dependent on the chemical reactions of caffeine, that I get hopelessly worked up if it doesn't go off as planned? Yes, I am.
That's why I have another new pet. His name is "Mr. Coffee." It says so, right on his face. I drag him from room to room with his friend, "Mr. Presto." His leash is kind of neat. It has one end that plugs into the wall, so he never runs off....
Techno pets. Gotta love 'em.

December 16th

Oh my! 10 days till Christmas! Do you have your shopping done? I don't!
I am so proud of me, though... I don't care! Yesterday I walked all the way up my driveway without stopping to huff and puff! I've been trying to do this for a year! Usually, I have to stop, bend over, breathe, and it's quite an effort. Not every day will be that easy, but yesterday, for the first time, I did it! That made my day! My legs didn't hurt, and I wasn't out of breath! Whoo hooo!
All the way up the driveway! It was like someone was carrying me, it was so easy!
With memories of being stuck in a wheelchair, high centered on a door stop, half inside, and half outside on a cold January day. I was! I'll never forget that! Couldn't walk, couldn't move, just waited for the boys to get home from school. I had been trying to get out to the sunshine on the back deck. It was so alluring! (Or was it all an illusion?!) With all of the drugs that I was on, who knows? Regardless, it was the most helpless feeling!
You have no idea how every single time I walk down to the river, how absolutely thankful I am! Every step, I remember being stuck in the house, while Bill or the boys called Kilchis, (MY DOG!) to go out to the river. In one way, I was thankful that they were there to amuse him and exercise him. In another way, I was selfish, angry, and heart broken. That was my job to take Kilchis to the river! How dare Kilchis leave my side to go with another? I encouraged him to go with a smile and an excited voice, to convince him it was OK. But, as soon as the door closed, the tears would fall. Oh, the pity I felt! The drama! I felt so physically awful, that I'd get to thinking that maybe I wouldn't live, and that perhaps this was all good that he was making new loyal friends, and that Kilchis would soon forget me, if I went. Tears, tears, tears.
One day, Shane Stewart came to fish. I convinced him to take Kilchis to the river with him, since no one was home to exercise him. He wouldn't go with him! I was secretly happy about that! There remained a bit of loyalty, anyhow!
Now that I'm well, and Kilchis knows Shane, he'll go with him. But, that's OK. He goes with me, too!
Anyhow, I'm proud of me. I've come a long, way, baby! I can make it to the top of the driveway without stopping!
I think I'll go out to the river, this morning. I know that some days will be harder than others, but the memory of yesterday's ease will be with me for a long, long time! I can walk, again!

December 20th

It was five days till Christmas and all through the house, all the dogs were up barking, and not at a mouse!
There are raccoons out in the trees, and the dogs are just going nuts. Calm, dogs, calm! Oh! They need to go fishing! That's it! They need to go fishing badly!
So do I!
You know, I thought I was doing right. I thought I was enjoying the Christmas season. Well, I was! I am! But--- all of the sudden out of nowhere I got this really anxious feeling. I need to fish! Fishing is my life! I don't think I've gone this long without really fishing for years! I haven't been now, for what? Two weeks?
OK, So, I've grabbed a spinner and taken it down to the low, clear Kilchis. I've tossed it out there a couple times and retrieved it. Once in the freezing cold when the East wind blew. That didn't last long! But actual hop in the boat and go? Or grab the duck chair and go down to the river for an any period of time? Haven't done that for ages!
Besides that, I'm so unprepared! My steelhead gear is scattered everywhere! Usually, by this time, I'm all prepared. Rods cleaned, reels greased up, fresh line on the spool, jigs in order, corkies picked out, yarns of many colors hanging out of Holdzit containers, and fresh shrimp in the fridge! Hey! Santa Claus needs to come to my house and kick me in the backside! I'm way behind!
This is the price I pay for being "ready" for Christmas! I told you right here in this column that last year I totally missed Christmas because of my heart surgery. This year, I wasn't about to do that. I recall things like trying to cook Christmas dinner, 2 days out of the hospital from a wheelchair. That was awful! I'm out to erase those memories!
I told you that I was going to experience every part of Christmas this year, and do it right! I told you I was going to get my shopping done early enough to enjoy the spirit! The lights! The tree! I did! I am! But, what a high price to pay!
How many silver sided, beautiful laterally lined chromers have passed my house, waving as they go by? "No worries here!" They giggle as they pass! "Jennie is Christmasing this year!"
Last year I was sick, and this year I'm celebrating? Wait a minute! Just what am I doing to get rid of those hatchery brats!? NOTHING! I'm not doing my job at all! I need to put the fear to those fish! How dare they wave as they go by?
How come I have no steelhead roasting on an open fire? Isn't that how the song goes?
I told Bill, "As soon as Christmas passes, I'll be ready to fish." Not! That was last week that I said that. Well, by geebers, I can't wait. It is five days until Christmas, and I give!
To heck with the presents, forget all those lights!
I'm sorting my corkies cuz I need a fight!
Out with my Lami, and down to the stream!
If I don't fish now, then I'm gonna scream!

You know, in a way, I've so worked myself up with expectations of Christmas joy, it's no wonder I feel a bit let down. There is just no way that you can build up all of this expectation and have it be totally fulfilled. Especially without adding my favorite component: Fish!
How can I deck the halls without chrome scales glittering all around me? How can a person feel true peace without piscatorial pursuits?
I'm getting ready and I'm heading out the door. Down to the river, to see what's in store.
The river is rising, the fish are on the bite-
and I'm going to fish them with all of my might!

And she sprang to her sled, to her team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
On Kilchis, On Dee Dee, On Molly, On Bill!
It's down to the stream side and on with the kill!

But I heard her exclaim, ere she sled out of sight,
"Happy Fishing to all, and to all a good fight."

later, night, dark, cold out.

I rarely write this time of night. But, tonight the world just seems too still. Restless, I had to move, to do something. I couldn't just sit in bed and read. I got up to stare out into the dark of night. The snow came at me like a thousand meteors. There was a sheet of glass between me and the night sky, but my eyes weren't convinced. Blinking out the intrusion, I started lapsing into a sort of dream like trance.
' Tis the season.
A season of a thousand memories, a thousand good byes, a thousand feelings and powerfully mixed emotions.
I used to have no patience for those who chose to be depressed during this season. But as life grows richer and fuller, as I have had more experience with life and with death, I am more tolerant to these delicate feelings, yet I still stand firm in my decision to find joy... somewhere, somehow. It's there, you know. You just have to locate it.
As we decorated the tree, I carefully unwrapped ornaments, treasures from my past. A tiny, delicate pink violin from my aunt Dorothy Lee. A set of brass instruments from my Mother, and one that reminded me of my Grandmother.
Two sisters and their Mother...together, somewhere a long ways off. They are in Heaven, where there are no tears. I can't even grasp that concept, yet I believe it with all my heart. Are they up there beyond those snowflakes? Where?
Still full of questions, I am reduced to a child staring out into the snow lit night.
It is all so perfect. The lights are lit outside, reflecting down on the freshly fallen snow. The Christmas tree sparkles. It isn't the grandest I've had. It's a noble, but stands only 7 feet tall. With the star fitted precariously on top, it still shines brightly and lights up the room.
It is all so perfect, the Christmas season. The smell of fresh bread and the warmth of the wood stove surround me.
Then why, sitting here in the dark, with just the glow of the computer screen and the flickering of a single candle, does a tear fall from my eye?
I miss the ones that gave me the traditions of Christmas, that taught me the feelings of joy, of peace, of happiness.
When the first snow fell, I reached for the phone to tell my Mother. We used to always do that. After realizing my error, I went to call Hershey, my old dog. He used to race around in it with me, tail wagging, body wiggling, crouching down to play. Hershey is gone now too.
I was alone in the house with the snow, and the tree, the wood stove, the bread.
My voice echoed back at me.
I took a breath though, and smiled through it. It was snowing, and in an odd peaceful way, I felt strong.
In all that I have been through, the losses, the memories, the years of Christmas past, I am still here to share with my children this very special, and very delicate time of year.
Now the snow has stopped falling, and my eyes are tired. Time to walk around the house, and turn Christmas off.
Heaven is a place with no sorrow and no tears. Sounds pretty nice.

(I wrote that in 2002, but everything in it is exactly the way I feel now, complete with the single candle buring. Even the snow that fell, and my wanting to call my Mother. Even the kids home, and missing Hershey.
It is amazing to me how the seasons pass and the things I write are almost the same, at the same time of year.)

December 23rd

I miss having a camera. I keep taking walks on the river and seeing the most beautiful things that I wish I had on film. There's one spot on the river that has these incredibly red berries hanging over a sandy embankment. Next to it is the most wildly colored dead salmon. It's oddly beautiful.
Brilliant life, and the mystery of death. I want to get up close to see it, but the darned salmon stinks too badly!
The rivers are raging. We just spent 36 hours inside the house while the wind howled and the rain fell, jet propelled, sideways. The river rose to cover the banks, and most of the dead salmon carcases were washed to sea. There was such a wind that now, as the river recedes, the beach is littered with broken trees, leaves, and dirt... tree debris, I guess you'd call it.
I have all my Christmas shopping done, I think. I've failed again to reduce Christmas to a simple thing. I think I really needed to "do it up" this year, since I missed last year. Next year, however, I'm going to reduce! I spoke to Marty Peterson. Now, their family has it down! They've set a small limit for presents, and they are going sledding! What fun! Now, that sounds like a Merry Christmas! Except, Marty? Where is the snow? You'll be driving a long, long way! Still, I love having that thought in my head. Sledding on Christmas! I have to do that, some year!
For New Years, I've finally decided to start tackling my eye problems. I've had this real need to keep away from doctors unless I really need to. My heart surgery really burned me out on doctors for a while! I needed a break.
But, on the suggestion of a friend with marfan, I would like to go back East to a Marfan eye specialist! I have the free air miles to travel. Why not? I've always thought of going to see Dr. Maumanee, (Click on her name for a link.) and now I'm going to start planning it. I want to go in the Fall, as I've always wanted to see the Fall leaves back East. I haven't been back East since I played the piano for President Reagan, so many, many years ago. 1985, it was! Oh, my, but I'm old!
The thought of not seeing double and having this vision fixed is intoxicating. I would be so happy if I could see straight, again! Somehow I must have lost some faith along the way. I can only imagine seeing "different". Not better, anymore. With each eye surgery that I have, it just changes things. Maybe this doctor can help me? Maybe? Sometimes I think I'm too getting too old and what does it matter if I can see... That makes me mad enough to start planning! I'm at that point! I'm going to go! Never too old, right?
At the very least, I'd like her professional opinion!
I think my lack of vision is why I miss having a camera so much. When I can't see things well, I like to take a picture. Then, I can take it home, put it on the big screen and study it up close and really appreciate the details.
When I see things that are beautiful with my eyes, I can't help but imagine the potential. Sure enough, when I look at it up close on the screen, I'm blown away! I really want to see like that! That's so cool! You guys are so lucky! I don't think I'd get anything done if I could see like that!
I'll never forget having my first eye uncovered after surgery. I sat in the parking lot and the colors were just so vibrant that I couldn't take it all in. There were times when I'd just have to shut my eyes because my brain became so overloaded! Colors! Shapes! Glare! Reflection! How do you process all of that and still think?!?
Life is a Kodak moment, and I can relate to that more than I want to. I really want the real thing!
That said... Santa? Will you bring me a Nikon D50? There's these bright red berries on the beach that I just have to look at up close, but there's a dead salmon near it, and...


December 24th

The verdict is in. My pajamas are NOT waterproof! Come to think of it, I wish Santa would bring me some waterproof pajamas. I mean, it's nice to wake up and pull on my waders and go, but it would be nicer, without. Imagine the luxury. Wake up, grab your rod and go!
I mean, come on. As it is now, It's a total hassle. I have to sit down, pull on my waders, reach WAY up to grab my rod and walk all the way across the lumpy lawn, down the muddy steps, and onto the gravel. All I ask is that my pajamas not soak through. Is that too much to ask?
They need to think this through. How many times have I woken up, had a short cup of joe, and not been able to resist the lure of the river? It has to happen to someone else, too. There simply has to be a market... a huge market, for wader pajamas. If anyone is smart, they'll get right on this for me. Breathables would be nice, and oh yeah-- make them in a medium TALL.
OK, now that that is handled, I hope you, too, have a Merry Christmas! It's Christmas Eve! Tomorrow is the Birthday of our Savior!
Frankly, I can't understand the gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh.
If I were to bring him a gift, it would be something extremely practical, like Grunden waterproof pajamas.
I think I'm excited! Everything is all Christmas-sy out, and I'm celebrating by spending the entire day in and out, fishing... that is, if I can last that long! The fresh shrimp is being delivered, and I have beautiful eggs and lots of colorful lures hanging on the tree! Let's go! The river looks high, but fishable! I just need a bigger slinky and I'm off, again. And, as Erickson puts it, the boat is leaving! Toot! Toot!
This time, I think I'll put on some proper clothing. I guess a girl can't have everything she dreams up!
I hope lots of boats come down the Kilchis tomorrow. I want to hand out candy canes! (Or how bout "candied skeins"?)
Do me a favor, alright? Be Merry and Bright!
And may all your Christmas fish put up a fight!

December 25th

Merry Christmas, darlings!
(To my children, who I love!)

I have the spirit and the joy of Christmas in my heart, and the sleepies in my eyes! What a night! We had a gust of 58 mph! It just rock and rolled all night long! I didn't expect it, so some windows were left open, and everything crash boomed and banged! When the light hits the day, I'll witness the damage, I'm sure! Usually we prepare for the winds, but this time we didn't!
The power went out, and Bill actually called the power company and said that Santa must have accidentally hit a power line! I heard him say that! I did! Bill!!!!
I don't think I got a solid hour's sleep! Oh well, if Santa can do it, then I can do it. It's all magic. Just watch me!
I made some delicious "Sweet petals". That's a recipe that I grew up with. It's a type of cinnamon roll. Sweet dough, coiled into snake like tubes, rolled in butter, then sugar and nuts, and shaped circular in a pizza shape. They are drizzled with butter cream after cooking. I can't wait! I haven't had the energy to make these in years! Andrew helped me, as we sang carols, together.
Andrew is an absolute delight to have around. He's joyful all the time. Recently while being with him, I said, "I want whatever you are taking." He said he had had a recent injection of life. I can relate to that! So, I took some, too! I'm glad to have him around. Being around someone who is forever cheerful rubs off on a person. He sings. He dances. He grabs me and makes me waltz around the living room with him! I've decided to try and be more like Him, as well as hang around with Andrew more often! He encourages to me!
You know, I have so much to be thankful for! Both boys are delightful to be around. I get frustrated at their lack of motivation, but when I think about it, is that what life is about? Motivation? I think not. I think it's about being happy, content. They have that part down pat! What is their secret? I think I know, and I'll share it, later.
So, it's on with the sausage and the dozen eggs in the traditional electric skillet, just like Mom used on Christmas morning. Oh, the smells of Christmas! We have tins of goodies all around us. We'd better eat them all up. They aren't good for you, so we'd better get rid of them, right?

...And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savour, which is Christ the Lord.

...and that news, regardless of computers, Nintendos, worldly goods, and things that go bump in the night... things that I worry over, things that I give too much attention, is the message that my children were raised with. I worry about them until my hair turns gray, but they know the news of Jesus Christ in their hearts, and I do believe that this is the secret to their inner joy. They may not even admit it all the time, and they may spend much time debating it, and talking about it, but I do believe that truth is engraved on their hearts.

Believe me, if I did one right thing in this world, it was to share that news with my children, often and always!

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

I am so glad I did! And I am so glad that my Mother and Father shared that with me!

Glory to God in the highest, on earth peace, good will toward men!



December 26th

As always, it's good to put away the clutter on ifish. All of the Christmas decorations, neatly stored away in a folder on my computer, until next year. Wish it was that easy in the house! The concept of drag and drop sounds good!
How many of us feel the build up to Christmas, and the let down, afterwards?
For some reason, yesterday, I found it difficult to open my presents. I waited until the last minute, after everyone else had had their fun. I had so much fun watching them open theirs! All of the thought that went into each gift, dissolved into satisfied smiles and fun, and ending in a huge heap of wrapping and ribbons! Why do I worry so much that it's not enough, or not the right thing? It's not supposed to be about that!
Somehow, though, it's been passed down on me. My Mother took Christmas and the resulting emotions so seriously and so personally, and it all wore off on me! My parents and relatives worked us kids up so much about Christmas, that it was an event that was barely survivable! I don't know how on earth we slept on Christmas Eve!
First, it was the eternal wait for my Aunt and Uncle to finally show up from Bend. We'd be on watch, sitting on that brown couch and staring out the window, all day long!
Sometimes they wouldn't get there until what seemed like "forever" at night! Then, of course, my cousins and I would have to catch up and visit. All the while, my parents and my Aunt and Uncle are trying to rush us to sleep so that Santa could come. The threat of him not stopping by, somehow enforced our sleep.
At the crack of dawn, and sometimes before, all those tiny feet would be scampering down the stairs to take a peek. I'd hear my parents groan, with disapproval! It was much too early, and we knew it! But, they rose, anyhow, muttering something about coffee, coffee....
Seven kids tearing at stockings, all in a small living room half taken by a grandly lit noble fir is a memory I'll never forget!
Then, there was breakfast and then-- PRESENTS! Wrapping flew everywhere! Ribbons in the air, and paper, three feet deep! How did we not lose things? (Oh! We did!)
I'll never forget one Christmas. My expectation was huge! I wanted an AM radio, so that I could listen to 62 KGW at bedtime, just like my sister. I wanted to take it out in the berry patch with me in the summer... just like my big sister. I wanted to be.... my big sister!
I finally opened it, in all of it's glory! It was shiny pale blue with a white face. It's dials stuck out, in a pale white and the dial ran all the way across it's 12 inch or more face. It was perfect! Until-- I turned it on. For some obscure reason, I could not tune it to the radio station of cool: 62 KGW. It hissed and it whined, and it played loud and clear static!
I laid in bed that night, in my tiny bedroom in back of the house. The TV was going in the living room, and I was surely exhausted. The day was over, and my aunt and uncle and cousins had gone home. The rustle and bustle, laughter and noise had finally come to a total end, and was it ever quiet!
I pulled my covers over my radio, and watched the dial glow. I tried it again. No signal. I turned it this way and that, and stretched the antennae as far as I could. It hissed. My heart fell.
Oh, Christmas of all Christmases! How could this be? My Mother... nor Santa-- they don't give imperfect presents! How could this happen to me? Shame on me, as I began to gently cry myself to sleep! And then, the most horrible thing happened. My Mother walked in! She caught me crying! What could be worse than being caught crying on Christmas? I'll tell you what! The guilt of being unappreciative at Christmas! But, there was no escaping it! I was caught, red handed! Tears running down my cheeks with my present in my hot little hands!
I, trusting her to understand, explained about the station reception and showed her. I cried harder. Half of me knew I risked making her feel responsible, even at that tender age. Now that I'm older, though, I understand the serious impact of it all! I understand why she didn't comfort me as I wanted to be comforted. She too, was tired. She felt totally responsible for my sadness. Instead of being able to go to bed, tired, but with that wonderful satisfaction meeting someone's wishes brings, and the expected glory for being the hero at Christmas, she was met with a crying child?!
Oh! Can I ever relate to what she must have felt! I study the faces of the people I gift to measure the joy, and hope that my satisfaction meter is met! I, like my Mother, am a giver, and I measure my worth daily by how satisfied others are, with my performance. From cooking a fine meal, to piano performance, to webbing, to being a Mom... I need to know that I did well.
It happens daily, not just at Christmas, but at Christmas, the emotional stakes are so high!
Well, yesterday I passed. I think everyone was happy! David, with his beautiful brown corduroy blazer, and Andrew, with his black Derby hat.
But, as I went to bed, I thought about change. I thought about stopping the giving to one another, and changing the tradition, altogether. Now that the children are older, do I dare change? Do we dare make Christmas more about Christ, and less about our satisfaction? Mine, and the kids? Would I go to bed more fully satisfied, if it weren't so much about us and more about our Heavenly Savour?
I wonder... and I wonder if we stopped, if it would be a success. If it would be a tradition that the kids would carry with them, and want to repeat.
Of course, I decided in the end, that we should probably do both. Keep giving, and keep the traditions, but maybe increase our "reason for giving" a little more each year, as we all grow older and wiser.
It is all about Christ, but we all get a little bit too "wrapped up" over it all. And I am the most guilty of all! What do I expect from my kids? For them to say, "Well Done Good And Faithful Servant??"
It occurs to me that when my Mother held me that night, even as her heart fell, knowing full well that I was not pleased, but that she was acting and feeling much like my Heavenly Father must feel, on a daily basis. Perhaps we should all study His face for reactions, more carefully!
My Heavenly Father gives me so many, many gifts on a daily basis. Oh! How I must displease him at times! --and yet he holds me each evening, even while I cry.
Last night, was no different.
As I drag and drop the clutter of Christmas from my house, Lord, I'm going to try, try so hard to please you more, and see if in so doing, I can bring more constant joy to others on a daily basis... instead of just at Christmas time.
(Note- I thought this link went along well with this thought. Click here.)

December 30th

Ok! I'll write, already! I have had so many people wonder if I'm alright. Yes! I'm alright. Haven't been feeling real well, but I'm fine, for sure!
It's kind of frustrating. I was so proud of myself the other day, when I walked up the driveway, without a problem. I haven't been able to do that, since. Now, why on earth do I have days when I can, and then weeks when I can't? Someday, again, it will happen! I'm sure!
I see my neighbor ladies walking down the road, nearly daily. I have been invited to join them. I have their phone numbers on my desktop on my computer. Oh! How I'd love to do that! I'm just too embarrassed, still. Can you imagine walking less than a football field and then turning around? These ladies are in shape and walk daily! I don't think so! I'm trying to build up a little more strength before I join them. It will happen, right?
It's too bad there is no flat area where I live. It's all hilly! I'm a little afraid to go downhill, in case I can't make it up, and I can't go far uphill, before I get tired! From here to the river is flat, but the rocks make it difficult to get a good stride going.
I need a track installed in the field! (laugh)
I used to walk with a neighbor lady when I lived in Astoria, and we had so much fun! We'd take along a litter bag and pick a street to clean. The bending over is really good for you, and the streets looked so nice!
We also had a "beautiful garden" award for neighbors that my kids and I would do. We'd take neighborhood walks and decide who had the prettiest flowers. Then, we'd go home, have a little arts and crafts time and create banners for "prettiest smelling roses" or "lawn of the day" or "beautiful garden". Then, the next day we would hang the banner on their door, while they were gone. I don't think they ever found out who did that, but we sure had fun!
People, there is a meeting on the 6th that you should read about, here. It's very important that you attend. Wear a shirt, hat, or name tag that says you are a sports fisherman or woman. We need to show up in force! I don't think I'll personally attend. I have doctor's appointments nearly every day next week and getting healthy is my main objective for a while.
Well, (and that's as deep of a subject as the Kilchis river may be, soon!) I'm off to watch the river rise. I certainly hope we don't have flooding and slide issues in the days to come!
I'm busy watching the Wilson River flow, and the weather report. If you'll click on the weather, it's amazing how many red alerts we have, lately! I can't keep up!
Last night, I stared awake at the ceiling, listening to the rain pour. Although comforting, it's also a bit worrisome! We have had 2.38 inches, now, since 6 PM! Please feel free to watch our Kilchis weather station, also! It shows our high winds, too!
I'm off to put up Stan's new column for the first of January. Look for it, soon!

December 31st

All I really wanted for Christmas, was my Mt. St. Helens web cam to be fixed. Well, it was... in a way, but the picture still doesn't show. It had been stuck on December 16th, and then on Christmas day it updated to the 25th, but still no picture.
Click here, and if you notice it is up again someday, please let me know! Not that I still don't check, daily! I also love to check the The Pacific Northwest Seismograph Network. I've always been interested in earth movements. It seems so awesome. I just hope it doesn't move around here!
Stan's new column is up and if you want to learn The Prescription for Success, read this! Stan's archives are located, here. You can find Part 1 of that article in the archives.
I have been sick "ish" since Christmas. It's getting very tiring. It's just a low grade fever and the not feel goods. I wish, sometimes that I'd just get very ill and get it over with! You know-- a two day flu and then poof! Gone! Yeah, that's what I want!
It was very wintry and blustery last night. Swirls of wind so strong that I thought they'd pick up the house and take me away. The river was loud and angry and you could hear it rumble in between bursts of wind. I can just imagine the huge rocks and debris that are being relocated with this powerful body of water. It's difficult to image the slow, still and almost stagnant Kilchis of long summer days, when I lay in the dark and listen to it's winter's rage. No wonder the days are so short in the winter! There is no way it could keep up this kind of power and energy as long as a summer day would require! I think that the noise it makes during long winter's nights is just the river snoring really loud. There is just no way it can keep up the churning 24/7. No way!
When the light crosses over the meadow and the trees are forced to come alive, wet, soggy and cold, they dance in the rain, and swirl in the wind, just like they've been at it, all night long.
Their secret is safe with me. I know what happened last night. I heard it!
Maybe a river and the surrounding forest hibernates, seasonally, like a bear. Except-- they sleep during the summer, and forage in the winter, only taking short naps when the weather is calm? That would make sense, you know... as the river is filled with life, salmon and steelhead runs, and bald eagles soaring overhead, in the winter. Only delicate little cutthroat and crawdad play in the summer currents as the river sleeps.
Who knows, it's a mystery to me, but I get lost in thought, trying to figure it out.
I bought a high candle power spot light to try and catch the river in it's sleep. I also spread it's light across the meadow, to see if any deer or elk are froliicking in the night. Last night, I crawled into my bathtub, dry, and cracked open the window closest to the river. It has a direct view down the trail, and onto the bank. I shone the spotlight across the field and into the water, and tried to see what it was up to. I just couldn't get the right angle on it. It was just a mass of flowing dirty brown river.
The river remains a mystery in the dark.
Oh, how I would love to have a river cam on the internet! Then I wouldn't have to rely so much on staring at a mountain! Especially, a mountain cam that is broken!
At least, here, I can upstairs and watch the real thing. As soon as daylight hits, I'm going to do that very thing.
Oh! Don't forget to go get your fishing license, today! I know that's what I'm going to do! I can't believe that I haven't, yet!



A journal of my adventures.