Fishing The Coast, Oregon and Washington

August 2015

Willie

That's my dog! Willie! Could you resist.... any request?

August 3, 2015

I spent a very lovely and peaceful week at the beach with Bill and the dogs. Had a friend over, one day and we had so much fun! I love showing people around the Kilchis. All of Willie and my forts, and where we swim, etc. It makes me feel like a kid, again!
I picked berries and made a pie. In fact, two of them! One savory, and one sweet! A quiche, and a berry pie! Ever have a pie dinner? Pie and pie, oh, my!
I'm back in Oregon City. This is finals week.
I either find a good roommate, or I sell this place. Drum roll! What will it be?
More to come!
Oh! And Happy August! Can you believe we are already at the end of summer? NO!

August 6, 2015

What goes along with August and Buoy 10?
Cucumbers, fresh from the garden... tomatoes, spaghetti and acorn squash and crookneck and too many zucchini! That's what!
I'll never forget fishing off the beaches of Fort Stevens and trading our garden goods, while waiting for the bell to ring.
So many laughs on that beach! Nothing but laughter!
Wait... There was a couple times when things went awfully wrong.
Everyone drove out on the beach. We had it all figured out. Tides were important. There were a few times we waited a bit too long for those fish, and while driving back to the paved roads, we'd find ourselves needing to dodge the incoming waves.
Everyone knew everyone. I'd park next to Ester, in her clean white Subaru. She is a Finnish gal, and still a close friend of mine. We'd laugh for days, out there. Ester had a very recognizable laugh, and everyone knew when Ester arrived, even when the fog was so thick you couldn't see!
Ben Tagliovento was parked to the left, with his squishy but wonderful sandwiches. He'd bring out zucchini on buttered toast, and I'd gobble it down, even though it wasn't my favorite. Somehow, out there, it was the bomb! What is it about food when you are out fishing? Everything is good!
Sam Stout was part of our crowd. He'd arrive in his big old white and red pickup. Always a smile. Always an extra 10 ounce weight for "Mrs. Borrowitz." Yep. That was me. What a kind man. I wonder how he is doing?! I did pay him back, by the way!
I had purchased this rig... An old Subaru that had headlights wired on. If I hit a bump too hard, they'd fall off. That's not good before light hits the roadway, and you are screaming along at 55 mph! More than once, I had to pull over and put my head lamp back in! Once, I had an awful time getting the to work, again. When I did, there was a herd of elk in front of me, and I didn't even know!
But that car got me out on the beach and that's what I needed! I think I paid 200 dollars for that old car! Four wheel drive? Heck, yeah!
I'd park amongst the true four wheelers, get my fish, trade some vegetables, laugh way too much, and go home.
My boys often went with me, and to this very day, I wonder if that's why they don't like fishing so much. There were far too many days when the rain poured and the wind blew sideways, and I told them, "Just one more cast and we'll go home."
"OK... Just one more cast, please?!"
That's not good for little boys that are cold and wet! I learned that lesson, and it sticks with me, today. Darnit.
Just last night, we had guests over who asked David if he liked to fish, also. "Not much."
And that's the truth.
Even as Andrew would agree to go with Bill and I in his later years, his enthusiasm was low. "Um. I think I have another fish." No smile. No excitement. Just a fact. He'd reel in a 40 pound salmon on the Nehalem, and go back to his Game Boy. Fishing was work for him. Just work! Or, maybe he got a small kick out of Bill and my excitement? Bill and I would fish harder and harder, trying with all of our might to catch up to his success. We had the enthusiasm. Andrew had the fish!
One day on Social Security beach, the fog was just lifting. We all had our rods out, but some of the late comers were still on their way, or parking their cars, readying for the day.
There was a guy that we all knew, or at least, knew him by his rig. He spoke very little English, so unless you spoke his language, or had a lot of patience, many people didn't know him so well. I think he was Vietnamese. He was the nicest guy, though. He'd often go clear out the beach and fish off the rocks of the jetty. But, sometimes he'd stop and catch a silver with us.
This day, however, it was the most bizarre thing. He was going like a bat out of heck, down the beach. Way faster than anyone dare go. Not only that, but he was headed straight for some of us! We abandoned our rods, and headed for the safety of our rigs. What the heck?
He slammed into my rod and holder, knocking it to the ground, but kept going! After he'd passed, I ran to get my rod, and thankfully, it wasn't broken, but my plastic rod holder was in pieces! I stood, absolutely shocked, holding my rod and broken holder, turned, watching this guy weave in and out of the waves at warp speed.
Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.
Soon, an ambulance made its way out the beach, and rumor spread down the line, that he had had a stroke and had no clue where he was going, or what he had done.
Just thank God he didn't hurt anyone else, and today, I still wonder if he recovered, and what really happened.
Most days, however, I remember as sunny and warm and wonderful. Those were such awesome days for me. My life was magical! August was fresh vegetables and smiles!
Today, I set my extra cucumbers and vegetables out on the lawn, with a sign, "Free!" It's fun to see people wander by with their dogs. They stop, and fill a sack that I have, next to the box, and look as if they'd won a small lottery!
I take some to the dog park, and share with my friends.
I know that gifted feeling, because as Willie and I walk around the neighborhood, one of my neighbors does the same with fresh plums from his tree. What a treat!
August is for sharing.
Sharing, and sunshine, and smiles.
And don't forget Buoy 10! Sharing, and smiles, and sunshine, and SILVERS! Oh, my!

August 10, 2015

Darn... and I forgot to take pictures!
Yesterday, Bill and I had a party for the Steelheaders. I shouldn't really say "Bill and I" as Bill did almost all of the work. I was busy trying to set up roommates for my home. I finally arrived here at the beach on Saturday, and felt like I was either coming down with something, or that I was just plain getting old. I haven't felt well for weeks... months? I don't know. I should go to the doctor, but life is so short. If I went to the doctor every time something felt wrong, I'd be there every day. I don't want to live my life like that!
Then again, living it feeling sick is not great, either.
Well, I DO have good days! I do!
I just had the best thing happen! I walked away from the computer after writing that last paragraph, thinking, "Oh, no. It's going to be another ho hum day... I don't like it when I sound ill or unhappy, and that column was going to be that way. If you start a project and don't feel good about it, walk away! And, that I did! Now, I'm better!
I was so torn between how to handle roommates in Oregon City. My friends and family were scaring me with horror stories of not being able to get someone to move out, once you move them in, and "Have you done credit checks?" Oh, just all kinds of scary stuff! A landlord, I am not!
Anyhow, I do have this one guy that is just great. I trust him, and both David and I like him. I just spoke with him, and he's going to move in! Not only that, but I was thinking of having two rooms rented. I was supposed to call the other guy with my answer, today. That bothered me on many levels. I won't go into why, but just having two, no three men in my place of peace didn't settle well.
Well.... The guy I'd decided on wants both rooms! Whoop! So, it is he that is moving in! Better rent to one guy two rooms, than two guys, one room each! I think so, too! :) SO happy!? SO HAPPY!
So, life is good, today. I'm glad I walked away. Things fixed themselves. I love it when that happens!
I like it. I feel good, and best of all, we are having crab for dinner, tonight!
GOD is good!
Once I get someone moved in, then I can be here at the beach more often! Life is so good!
I was looking around my cabinets, yesterday and found this!



The only problem is that the music on the disk that was given to me back in 2005 (I am NO movie maker!) had copyright music on it so I had to take off the audio, and use non copyright YouTube music on it.
The problem is, they won't let me stretch out the audio, or add more. They let me have one clip of audio. Does anyone know how to add more? The music quits at 2.0 or so! I have been working, downloading it and converting it all morning, with no luck!
But, it's fun to look at! How many ifishers do you know?

August 13, 2015

Everyone is waiting for the crunch to sog a bit! Huge expectations! The rain, the rain, the rain is coming!
It reminds me of a book that my Mom used to read to me. "Wait. Wait! Wait till the moon is full!"
wait till the moon is full!
Remember that book? It fills you with anticccc.... ipation!
(Oops. I've gone from children's books to the Rocky Horror Picture show!)
I've been watching the weather forecast just as closely as if the weather people had hinted at the prospect of snow. Rain, though! Imagine, in Oregon, waiting for the rain! Just bizarre!
And like the snow forecast, as it nears, it dwindles! Pheh. I woke this morning, threw open the curtains, and... dry. Just plain dry.
There is a bit of a wind and a bit of cooling. Still, that fanciful dream of rain dances in my head. It still might happen! And thunder! Except for the threat of fires, thunder makes it all the more exciting!
Wait... wait! Wait till the rain comes!
I watched a forecast on the news last night regarding El Nino. "They" say that even drought ridden California will be seeing more than their share of rain. Oh, yeah! Fill everyone's mind with hope! Will we be disappointed, or could it really happen?
Wait... wait! Wait till the rain comes!
When I think of El Nino, I think of my summer of coho. My dreams came true. I caught more coho than I ever hoped to. I mean, EVER! I sat on that Hammond Jetty, and reeled in as many coho as were allowed, with absolutely no effort.
It was rare to catch a chinook. Local knowledge had it that the chinook live mostly on the other side of the bay, in deeper water. But, for coho? I was the fish catching machine, I was!
And right off the beach, too! There was one lone and broken piling sticking out of the gentle rolling waves, right about... there! I knew just at what point of the tide that I could catch fish around that piling. It had to have about a foot sticking out, at either incoming our outgoing. It did not matter. Right to the left, and behind. Bam! Fish on, every time! Oh, how I wish I could try that trick, this summer!
I was the one who told all the new people where and how they could catch fish. I felt like such a hero to create that excitement in others, and I think that's partially what fed me to start ifish.net. It's excitingly catching, to help others to catch!
If the surimi plant located next to us happened to be throwing out surimi garbage at the same time? Look out! An even bigger bite! We'd watch that feed line approach,the seagulls madly working on top, and....
Wait... wait! Wait till the coho come!
Now, I'm in no position to help people catch fish, but I will always have my memories of how that feels and I so appreciate when others are generous with their knowledge.
I don't understand the fierce madness that happens in some of our members when they see that someone has given too much fish catching info. I just don't get it. I think, though, that it's different now? Perhaps there are too many fishers, and not enough fish. That El Nino year was madness on the water. Plenty of fish for everyone.
Back then, I told the minister of our church about my fishing success, and oh, my! The very next day, the entire congregation was sitting on those rocks with me! It was fun, but if I had it to do over again, I might have not told him. :) It was a bit much... and even if they didn't catch all of the fish, the weight of the congregation caused those jetty rocks to jiggle and dislocate from that day forward. Yikes! Ever had the worry that you might be crushed, as if in a pepper mill?
It was also that summer when I went out to the Warrenton jetty, and as I approached the other side, it struck me that I might be lost in some tropical place. The water of the Pacific was that deep, deep blue of faraway places, and the coho schools were visible from the top of the rocks! It was amazing! You could sight fish! Oh, I wish I would have had a fly rod, back then! Instead, I had this big, bulky black jetty rod that could live through most any abuse!
I remember Bill laughing at me, when he met me. "What kind of rod and reel are these!?" He laughed.
A whole new world awaited me, with Bill Hedlund. Light, bendy steelhead rods and Calcutta reels, oh my!
I had purchased the absolute biggest net that I could find, to fish the jetty. I remember to transport it, I bunjie roped it to the side of my Subaru wagon. It was HUGE!
As my relationship with Bill became more serious, that net ended up as a donation to the Nehalem fish hatchery disabled ramp, and that rod? I have no idea where it is!
My net was humongous! You need a big net, and darn near perfect timing to run down the rocks, and net your fish, in between those huge ocean waves. It's a pretty scary thing to do! More than once, those big waves caught me, before I could skip back to the top of the rocks!
I have memories. Lots of great fish memories. It helps me to get thru these fishless times.
But, Bill took delivery of his new boat just this last week. Soon, very soon things will change!
Wait... wait! Wait for the new boat to be delivered!
Life is just filled with waiting and anticipation!
But, for now, I'm just waiting for that darn rain to come.

August 17, 2015

Fall is here. It surprised me to see the sky a deep blue mid-day, but there is no doubt. Fall is here, or at least, darn near.
Various leaves crunch under my feet as I walk over the dried meadow and out to the river.
We are on the flip side of the cycle. No new green foliage, no new wet, damp air. The birds are quiet, for the most part.
It's dry, dusty and hot, hot, hot!
My strongest memory of this time of year is 911. I was out on the river bank, picking the last of the berries, while trying to work out in my brain what was really happening.
There was an East wind blowing, that day. It was the loneliest feeling, ever. After staring at the television in disbelief, the kids went off to school, anyhow. Bill went fishing with Joe and Evelyn Schwab, but I couldn't process through my day so easily. I had been invited to fish with them, but I just couldn't. I was stifled.
I turned off the television and went out to the river. I think that day will forever hold a shadow over what was once my favorite season.
Fall.
Isn't that too bad, how that happens? Bad things that you experience in your life affect what your favorite season is, as years go by. Oh, Fall! Such great fishing! I love the cold nip in the air, and the first time you get to put nice clean socks and shoes on, after running barefoot all summer. That feels so good! I did that yesterday, and after twisting my ankles walking on river rocks, all summer, I finally felt fairly stable footed. Clean socks and hiking boots! Yes! I captured a little feel of that seasonal joy! The exposed rocks are either slimy or coated in dry-white mineral deposits, this time of year.
Jim Erickson didn't like this time of year, and his opinions forever echoes within me.
I dragged the canoe to the river's edge, and broke the still water with my paddle as I made my way to the deepest section of the river. Along with searching for the first salmon, I have been searching for an anchor that I located last summer, half buried in the rocks. It's gone, this summer. Buried more, or worked downstream from a high water event. I looked down and all I found was a slimy dead river eel on the bottom. Yuck! More signs of the end of the summer cycle...
You know, I just have to share this letter with you. I giggled, although teary eyed, reading this. I have to tell you that Bill and I always laughed, but tried to convince Jim of the horrible job his beloved dictation machine did. No one could convince him that it did a bad job. You decide!
This letter is from someone I loved, dearly. Jim Erickson. Jim passed away in a fishing accident on the river that he loved. The North Fork of the Nehalem. Jim introduced me to this river, and took me down thru the Jack, Queen and King, more than once. He was the master of that river. His voice will forever echo in my heart.
I love you and miss you, HustlerJim! "Toot! Toot!"
(That's what he always yelled out from his raft when we were to get back in the boat, after working the bank.)


Jim and I, on the Nestucca

Delivered-To: [email protected]
From: "hustlerrjim" <[email protected]> To: "Jennie Logsdon Martin" <[email protected]> Subject: spring is here.
Date: Sun, 2 Mar 2003

I remember the last time I e-mailed you, winter was setting in and all the trees grass and the plants were dying to me this is a sad part of the year, and I do not look forward to it,however it is usually the start of the steel head season and the rendezvous in tillamook, along with elk season, otherwise there is not much to look forward to, except the many friends that come to put their boats in to drift the river,but now spring is slowly creeping into my life, This became especially apparent drifting down the North Fork from the hatchery with my old friend Dr. Stewart,and I get to thinking, will this be the last trip this year as the river is getting so low,? all so, will my old friend the raft which I have had 20 years make this last trip?
As we put in at the hatchery, I am greeted by another good friend the hatchery manager called Joe,I think back how many hatchery managers have seen me put in here? Thinking back it is probably been at least seven or 8,looking around I see the remnants of the old electric weir ,which was a fish killer of the highest magnitude, it is now gone; but the bitter battles I fought over this device were not forgotten, nor will they ever be forgotten,but I won, perseverance is the key to success.
sliding the raft down the and it concrete boat RAMp put in by our steel head chapter I wonder how long ago that was,I look for a date scratched in the concrete but it isn't there.
doctor and I kiss the shuttle driver goodbye ,this is very easy as the driver has been my wife for over fifty years and has done this since 1964, and as we pull out in the river, the usual ritual goes along as we tell all the handicapped people on the platform to get the hell out of the road as we are coming through, this always brings out a lot of laughs.
I am very proud of the handicap platform as I fought very hard to get the funding and the permits to build this facility, this is something that all the steel head chapters can be proud of, because without the name of the steel headers I don't think this would have been possible.
there should be more of these,
Where is the cable across the river that designated the deadline? it is apparent the last big storm tore it down I will miss the bank maggots asking me to cut off the loose lines and are hanging down the river.but I am sure they will put another one up.
the doctor asked me how many times I have passed the big waterfalls at the hatchery hole I have no idea but I'll bet it is close to 1000, I'd tell him there will be 28 more just like it on the way down to my place, coming into old pete meijurgens I remember all the different owners and people that had the lease on the fishing hole it started at $10 a year and ended up at $30 the doc and I talk about this ;what is going to happen to this popular spot?
I tell the doc there should be a fish right over in that corner and he cast over their and hooked a steel head, am I a magician? No,far from it ,but there is usually a fish there every time I go down the river. one of my little secret spots as we drift along I see the things that were dying last fall coming back to life. there are the salmon Berry bushes with blossoms on them and a humming bird the first one of the year, green leaves are starting to show up.the alders are dropping their cat kins and you can see the alder groves are turning red with their pollen also the hemlock pollen we can see is drifting over the ridge tops .
we now drift down to metskers straight stretch we looked at the big clearcut that was made about 20 years ago and see if that it is all grown up now.
I have a lot of fond memories about this stretch because over the years I've probably made 25 to 30 TV shows in this area, we were never skunked.it has been good to me and the doc as we drift along I see all the slides that have formed over the years now have a lush growth of grass over them last fall they were barren.
getting down to the jack Queen King I see a large tree that blocked the left-hand side of the jack has been cut out,I wonder who did that?
while sitting here pondering which way to go and old friend of mine near nine fish crack lands on the raft begging for eggs, it is a water ouzille, that has done this for many years, she is back, I see some large rocks have blocked the entrance to the left-hand slot on the Jack this is something new and will be removed this summer.in the good old days the boys and I would have taken a sack of fertilizer and a couple of sticks of powder and eliminated this problem ,but times have changed a bunch of trees at the leaning alder hole have washed out since last fall, I look around and find one of the spare anchors we hid last year is gone.we will replace it if we go down the river again this year.
while sitting here they group of kyackers go by followed by a couple of pond tune boats.
coming out of the canyon I see two new houses that have been built.along the river.this is usually followed by a bunch of dogs coming down barking.there used to be nobody from the hatchery down.but now?
spring is here,as we come out of the canyon I can hear the lawn mowers going on both sides of the river, whereas last fall we could hear the power saws running as the people were cutting their firewood, I love to hear the sound of lawn mower.
coming around dead man's corner we looked down the river and here is something that is really new our old house is gone and in its place is a brand-new house that looks like a dairy Queen.
what is new about that?
loretta and I over the years have had a secret signal whereas she put a bright light in the window that I could see coming down the river,when she turned the light on, this let me know that she had seen us and we had 20 minutes to get down to the house for hot tomatoes soup and sandwiches.
would the light shine ? would she see us?
YES there it is.
time to pull up the anchor and head for home, the last thing I look at it is the changes of the river bank's whereas the river is slowly going back to its original channel that was diverted in 1970 and the Willow's and trees that the watershed counsel people planted have been now chewed off by the Beavers.overnight. but they are trying
p.s. wish you were here jenny as I am a drunk son of a bitch and this printer is working so good I just Kept Babbling along.
love Jim

August 20, 2015

Wake up! Man, there are a lot of chinook on my plate, this morning! (I wish!) Why is it that you dedicate a day for rest, and that very morning, everything needs done, all at once?
First off, I want to talk about the B-10 thread. Yep. It's gone for right now, anyhow. Some button got pushed, somehow, somewhere. The thread seems to have hidden from us. I feel like holding a wake for it, but typically, that happens in the home of the deceased, and it wasn't my thread.
I miss it, terribly. It was the first thing I'd go to, every morning. For now, we have started a "Part ll" with cached copies of the first five pages, in the first post. Please add your reports, questions and answers! It's going pretty well, so far! Keep up the momentum!
Hey, I met this awesome guy through OWAA, who has the most awesome river ap! His name is Michael Gogal, and if there was ever a river map-ap that I'd keep handy, tis' this one! Click here.
And it's so easy to use!
Now, I get a lot of newsy new gadgets, books, tackle, etc. in my e mail, and most of them I browse a bit and archive and put it in the "someday I will get to this" folder.
This one caught my attention, and I'm really glad it did. I had to have this ap!
Here is but one screen shot. I'm going to do a better write up on the board, but look! Look!


Stream Map USA
Both West and East Coast editions are available for both IOS and Android at $8.99

I asked Michael a few questions, to see if it would tame my excitement. Nope! The opposite!.
"My main question, and I think I know the answer, but I want to hear it from you.
-Who is your market?
-Who would buy this, and how would they use it?
-What are the main features that make it stand out from the others?
-Where would I get this information, if it weren't for the ap, and how would this save me time?
-Many of these places will be out of cell range and internet may be sketchy. Will I still be able to use it?
-What is the best feature of this ap, the one feature that makes you feel that this is worth the space on your phone?"
Below, and in the press release are his answers. I loved them, because once I read the press release, Voila!! All my questions were magically answered! I love it when that happens!
Thanks Jennie.
Of course I take no offense and actually loved the questions. They almost read as the Question part of a Q & A with each paragraph of my press release being the Answers. I think everything is covered in the release.
I don't call myself a writer so I always have doubts when I write and your questions really gave me some confidence that my release in on the right track.

The press release is here. See for yourself, why you need this ap like I need this ap!
Besides that, I found a new friend in Michael Gogal. You would like him, too!
Michael Gogal - President
Gogal Publishing
~~~
( I love tildes! They remind me of fishes, or water!)
So... speaking of salmon on my plate, Bill and I had an awesome dinner last night. He'd gone out to B-10 with his childhood friends, and brought home a rare offering. Salmon!
I was raised on Salmon and as a child, never appreciated it too much. My Mom was an excellent cook, but salmon, at times when she was busy, wasn't her forte. Or, maybe it was that she got tired of preparing it, also. My Dad brought home way too much salmon before I was born, while they were living in Warrenton. My Dad nearly lived on the Lewis and Clark and was a prolific fisher and clam digger. My Mom was the cleaner and chef!
My Mom taught piano lessons and the aroma of salmon cooking, and cooking, and cooking...filled the air. I'd have been hungry after school, but as I eagerly approached the kitchen, there it was. The electric skillet plugged in, and in it, sizzling away was the "treat." Salmon steaks, or salmon patties, or salmon loaf in the oven, or the one of one hundred ways you could over cook or otherwise abuse the gastronomical delight.
In later years, when my Dad didn't fish as much, my Mom took more care, and learned better ways to cook salmon. She'd cover it with thick cream fresh from the dairy and bake it. Now, that was good! And you can't get that kind of cream, anymore!
But, it wasn't until I met and married a chef that I discovered that I really did like salmon!
It seems like the rarer it is in a family, the better it is prepared and cared for.
When Bill and I were filling the freezer with salmon on a regular basis, we, too, weren't as careful in our preparation, but last night? Oh... Yum.
It was the first salmon we were honored to prepare fresh in a long time!
Hot from the Traeger, we gobbled it up with brown rice, zucchini and crookneck squash, and fresh from the over berry pie for dessert! I fell into bed, fully sated with calories! Good, healthy, salmon oil calories! YUM!

August 22, 2015

Dear Willy, (the springer spaniel, above)
Sometimes I just want to be a girl. I want to be clean, and fresh and feel pretty.
I don't always want to be dirty like you seem to enjoy. I don't want you to jump in the river, thru the mud and race by me with all the glee of a 4 year old puppy!
Yes. You are fun to watch. Yes, you make me giggle. But sometimes... I just want to be a girl.
I don't want to pick up your filth covered flashlight with my newly manicured nails or get licky bathed in the face, while I'm deciding whether to wash my hair today, or not.
(Yes. I guess I'll be taking a shower, thank you.)
OK... now that I've said that... We found the B-10 thread! YES! It's here!
Thank you to Verticalscope! And now, I hope that never happens again! :)
I'm off to take a shower. I love my dog. I do. But, sometimes.... I just want to be a girl.

August 27, 2015

Warning: I'm wimpy, today!
I'm having fun lately, playing music and learning more about favorite artists from the past, etc.
I'll just be driving or something, and all of the sudden, I remember this deep down passion that I used to have for a musician, and it stirs me to feel that, again.
Jaco Pastorius did that to me this morning, so I listened to a four part Youtube series about him.
I ended up in tears due to his tragic and untimely death at age 35. Such a huge loss!
Yesterday, on the flip side, I heard a Bruno Mars tune, and so now, I'm listening to his full repertoire. Now, that's a happy thing! So happy that I think I'll... cry! LOL
Long ago, my Mother used to do this thing that delighted everyone. Well, she did many things that delighted people, but this one in particular:
Whenever we left her home, or any where... when we left Diamond Lake, (I think it actually started there) after a week of wonderful family fun, she'd run up the bank from the cabins and hide somewhere. When we drove out to get to the highway, she'd pop up and wave at us! It got so that we never knew where Grandma would be, but by golly, she would be there... somewhere! And when she popped up, it was the most wonderful thing in the world! Whoever saw her first yelled out. "Wave Goodbye to Grandma!"
My sister Teri went to Diamond Lake last week. She just texted me, "Leaving DL. Nobody ran up the bank to say goodbye."
That made me cry! Crud!
Life can be so hard, sometimes! Why? Why do things have to break our hearts?!
Last week, I don't know why I put myself through this, but I watched Dad's memorial video, and I was a sobbing mess in front of Bill. He understood it, though. If you'd like to watch, here it is!
And then... as if I needed yet more torture, my mind went to my sister's beautiful little "Gracie" dog. She's about five years old, and has liver cancer, of all things! A pretty little springer with such a sweet heart, and those two love that dog so much!
They would send me videos of her eating an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen, or eating watermelon at home.
Agh.
Something is wrong with me, lately, as I'm near tears so often. I think it's because I've been blank for a long time. I couldn't cry, because I was stifled after Andrew's death, for so long, and now, the tears are coming out for nearly anything that moves me.
I'm glad, actually. I see it as a turning point.
I think I'm on my way to healing... a bit more, all the time.
We'll see, I suppose.
I'm really looking forward to this rain, this weekend. Everything is dependent on the rain. I tell Willie, "We have to move the canoe up the beach, because the river will rise, with the rain."
or:
"Bill, we should wait till after the weekend to fish the Nehalem. The fish will be moving, after the rain..."
And, after the rain that is pouring down on my heart, lately, the sunshine will return!
I think, perhaps, most of this nostalgia is due to Fall. Fall is most certainly in the air!

August 28, 2015

Everyone is so happy about the rain that they are dancing! Even the deer! There were just four deer out in the back, chasing one another around! So cute! Bill called to show me, and when I showed up, I think they saw me, but I caught the last of their follies! Then, they ran down the trail and exited-stage left!
I could not sleep last night. I lay in bed, listening to the rain, and I really didn't care about no sleep. I was just thankful for the rain. I hadn't heard that sound in SO long!
Yesterday, out on the river beach, I spotted my annual little flower, that I love so much! Every darn year, she shows up! The first year I found her, I wrote this, and I cannot believe, she keeps coming back!

Down by the river, in two feet of dusty dirt,
grows a lonely little flower with a lemon yellow skirt.
Two sun bleached rocks shade the place she chose to be,
Close enough to the water, so all the fish can come to see.
She loves to watch the leaves turn shades that blind her sight,
And she withers just a bit, in the cold, near winter- night.
But when she wakes come Spring time, the autumn leaves have turned to dirt,
And there she'll be, (you wait and see!), growing a multi colored skirt!

Enjoy the rain! I am SO tempted to drive to Astoria and go to my jack salmon hole, and see what is there! SO tempted! I just may pack it up and go!


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