To God - From the dog

[Hogmaster]

TO GOD: FROM THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer' s hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last two questions . . . Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?



P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

[FallRiverGuy]

I howled with laughter!

[jokester]

ROFL!! Those were good

-jokester

[buckhunter]

#9........nuf said

[Bartman]

:grin: :grin:now thats funny!!!!!!!!!!

[BCF]

We just had to "put down" our beloved dog of thirteen years last week. Thanks for the dog smile.

BCF

[Splash]

My side hurts real bad

[Shortbus Flashers]

Very Funny!!

[FISHON67]

That's good.

Sounds like home.....

BCF: Sorry to hear of your loss, new pup was the best thing that I found to help.

[Hanapa'a Time]

Good reads, thanks for the , Gary

[DF]

I think one should be added. This comes from a k-9 officer I know, his dog always does this...

17. Dear god: I will not get nervous and [petunias!] when there are other people in the patrol car.