Most embarrassing moment
So there I was, opening morning miles from the nearest road all ready to shoot my deer opening day (something I had never done in 15 years of hunting). I had been in position for about an hour when to I spot two guys stumbling down the ridgeline coming right towards me. When presented with this situation I always make myself known, rather miss a chance at a deer than get shot, and hoped the two guys would stumble down the other way. After seeing me they decided to take up residence about 200 yards away. It was now about an hour after light and I decided to go to plan “b” and let these guys have the hillside. I hiked a couple of miles to plan “b” and started down the trail.
By this time, the bacon, egg and hash brown breakfast was working its way through my system so I decided I better answer the call of nature before heading to far down the trail. I set my rifle against a tree, unhook my pistol belt and set it next to the rifle and pull out my toilet paper and set it on the log. I then proceed to go to the bathroom. Halfway through the process I start to feel a sting, darn horseflies…wait a minute…those are bees…oh my gosh I am being stung all over. I stood up; pants still around my ankles and set the new world record for the forty-yard dash with your pants around your ankles and swatting bees. Luckily they gave up the chase quickly and only managed 8 stings. As I was standing there, pants around my ankles, I notice something moving in the tree line…turns out to be another hunter who proceeds to walk quickly away from me…great my most embarrassing moment now has a witness.
Now I start to go into medic mode, was a medic in the Army, trying to assess whether I was going to go into anaphylactic shock. After sitting a few moments and deciding I would probably live, I now faced the task of getting my rifle, pistol belt and most importantly my toilet paper away from the swarming bees. I secure a long stick and drag my rifle to safety, so much for the hours of cleaning; I then drag my pistol belt over and ever so gently secure my toilet paper.
After some clean up work, for me and my gun, I decided I had better get onto the main road incase I have any medical trouble. My hand now looks like I have on a blown up rubber glove and the stings on my leg are starting to swell. As I wander back to camp I spot two deer, could this be redemption…nope they are two does. I watch them for a while amazed that they know the hunting synopsis better than most hunters and refuse to run even as I approached to within 15 yards.
Back at camp I come clean because I wasn’t sure who the witness was and it looked a little like my dad. It wasn’t, so I had given someone a story to tell all their friends at camp about the guy running, pants around his ankles through the woods.
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The seas in my veins. My tradition remains. I'm just glad I don't live in a trailer.
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RichH
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