Fins, now Feathers and Furs

[Bottom Bouncer]

Hi Ifishers,

I recently got back to Montana from my third year in a row fishing the mouth of the Columbia. I had a great time fishing with Fish Hunter and Gone Fishin. During my six days of fishing this later part of August, I bonked 16 Chinook and Coho. Part of my excitement being in Oregon during the later part of August is that the Montana Fish and Game send out the results of the big game hunting special permits.

Year after year I put in for these permits and am lucky to draw one or two. Today I went to the Montana Fish and Game headquarters to pick up my big game licenses. Yes I was successful on drawing permits. I didn't pay much attention to the number of permits I drew being it is usually one or two.

I gave the lady at the front desk my Montana hunting license number and asked if I could purchase my permits. She put my license number in the computer, looked at it for a minute or so, then started to chuckle. The lady asked me how many of the permits I wanted to purchase at this time. I said all of them that were not in the mail. She again chuckled. Some of the permits are sent in the mail and you have to purchase the remainder from a license agent. The lady printed out my master license and handed it to me. The computer then started to kick out my tags I just asked for. I looked at my master license and asked the lady what all the series of numbers were on my license and what they stood for. There were 10 of them. She said those were the licenses I asked for and was successful with drawing.

I looked closer at what I had drawn and was purchasing and noticed I had the following tags.

1 moose
1 either sex elk
3 antelope
5 deer, both mule and whitetail


The lady again chuckled and asked if I wanted to purchase an additional mule deer tag for the area I was antelope hunting in. She also asked if I wanted to apply for an additional surplus antelope tag for the area I had my elk license in. I kindly stated "not at this time" and watched tag after tag spit out of the computer. After the computer stopped, the lady gathered the tags in a bundle, which was over an inch thick, and asked if I wanted a tag holder, which usually holds about a maximum of 4 tags, or a knapsack to put them in.

The tags I drew for the areas I am hunting have a success rate of about 100%. I can have up to 10 game hooks in my garage without having to do a major overhaul of the trusses to add more.

Now I need your help with these questions.

1. If I had kids, would they grow up normal knowing I bonked 16 fins+10 furs+ X feathers in a single year? Buy the way, did I mention that bird season just opened up yesterday and I am also a bird hunter.

2. How much fins, feathers, and furs can you force feed your spouse for breakfast, lunch, and dinner before your freezer accidentally becomes unplugged while your away from town?

3. Should I overhaul my garage trusses and buy that other mule deer tag and apply for the additional surplus antelope tag?

Any experience and comments you have in these areas is greatly appreciated.

Bottom Bouncer

Fish Hunter,
I still can not get that flounder I caught to fry one eye up in the frying pan!

[skein]

Darn, there goes those fall projects you promised you'd get done. I can see your paintbrush now, frozen to the outside wall. You poor guy.

Forget the trusses, where are you going to find room for all the freezers? Tell you what, you can store the moose and antelope in my freezer. You can even hang them in my shop. Heck, I'll even come get them.

My heart bleeds for you....

Skein

[Rauly]

Poor guy. He might have to get a second job just to pay for all the tags he drew. :grin:

I'm glad I only drew one tag this year or I might have to hunt all the time.

Rauly

[Nookie Monster]

Bottom Muncher,

After pondering the questions you posed I will state my observations.

1) I would bet your kids would be far from normal. They probably wouldn't know who thier daddy was until they were old enough to hold a rod or shoot a gun. "Hey honey, who needs baby formula, we have a freezer full of ground moose. If a kid can't be raised on wild game, it probably isn't a kid of mine."

2) If you want to feed that much game to the misses, get her to work up an appetite. For example, have her pack out all your animals for you. That ought to keep her hungry for awhile.
Also, crack open the wallet and buy a couple extra freezers. You can put them in the front yard with the washer and dryer. Just make sure the freezers are the same color as the washer and dryer, this will help keep the misses happy.

3) As far as buying additional tags - go for it. Hunt for horns. What would be impressive would be to have all the animals make the record books. That would be something to brag about. I can just hear you now:
"Here in Montana I got a moose, an elk, 16 antelope, and 42 deer. What did you get in Oregon?"
"Uh... I got a rock."
You don't need to remodel your garage to handle the additional animals, just throw them over the washer, dryer, and the two new freezers that are sitting in the front yard.

PS: To get that flounder to fry one eye up, you have to use a vertical fry pan.

[salmurai]

I'm STILL GLAD I'm not you!