To pay or not

Shortbus Flashers · 08-18-2005, 07:20 AM

Well the day is finally here, we are going for my sons driving test. But here in lies the problem. My wife and I are "discussing"

if we should pay for his gas and insurance also. I am ok with the insurance, but I am puttin my foot down on the gas. He is a great student, with a 3.75gpa, and I would rather him get good grades than have to work all the time. But there is some responsibility to having a car. Whats your opinion?

mandinga · 08-18-2005, 08:13 AM

My parents paid for my gas and insurance through high school...then I had to get a job in college...my grades went down about 1 point, but that could have been credited to many factors.

when my daughter is at driving age I think I will pay for both....or at least one.

Abalone · 08-18-2005, 08:44 AM

Catchnrelease:
Great post ! My parents paid for my cars and my insurance all the way up to the time I joined the Navy.
It was great. But that was my perspective. There is a lot of opionion on this. Paying for your sons insurance Considering how responsible he is (3.75 GPA ) that's great.
Then I think he has earned it. Gas ? I think is going too far. It is important for kids growing up to face reality.
We all have to pay our own way. And lucky for you son that has a Father that loves him.

I am happy for you that you have such a neat son and I envy you.

Lawdog · 08-18-2005, 08:46 AM

My parents paid my insurance, but I worked Sundays at the local station to pay for my gas. I'd only worked farm type jobs in the summer up to that point, so I thought it served me well to work on a little customer service for future jobs. Lawdog

2LEYS · 08-18-2005, 09:08 AM

My dad paid for my gas and insurance. He didn't want me to have to work while in high school. He said that I had the rest of my life to work and I shouldn't heve to until I was graduated.

At least pay the insurance and gas to and from school. Give him a gas allowance.

Also my dad said that if I ever got a ticket I was on my own for insurance.

TheKing · 08-18-2005, 09:14 AM

I come from the opposite school of thought.Driving is a privlidge not a right or a mandatory requirement. They need to pay for everything. I paid for my car,Ins. Gas, repairs everything. I had great grades played sports yada yada yada. I paid for my own college etc. I do not buy into the thought that good grades and working are mutually exclusive. Life is about choices and kids need to learn that choices have real life consequences. The sooner the better. We as parents are tasked with raising them to leave us and we do them no favors trying to keep them from having all the skills they need to accomplish this destiny. Nothing that anyone values in their life came free or easy IMHO.

Chromaflage · 08-18-2005, 09:29 AM

When our oldest got his license he had already found a part time job. He is required to maintain a gpa of 3.0 or better, pay for his portion of the insurance and provide his own gas. He recently purchased his own vehicle that is registered to both of us. He is responsible for his own repairs and maintenance. If his gpa drops, his driving privileges are reduced to bare minimum.....school, work, errands for us. If he comes up a bit short on cash, we help him with gas $ if he has been responsible with his money. Strict? Absolutely! The result? A more reponsible young man. So far he's fulfilled all his obligations. He's been driving for over a year and we haven't had to revoke once. BTW... we don't have a 3 page notarized legal contract, either. Just a very clear understanding.

Good luck!

CrF

FallRiverGuy · 08-18-2005, 09:35 AM

As a single parent my mother could not afford to pay for my insurance or gas so it was my responsibility. We have paid for our daughter,s insurance and reapirs during high school but not gas.

Troutinator · 08-18-2005, 10:14 AM

My dad paid for half the insurance. He said I needed "incentive" to keep a clean driving record. He was right. he also gave me a gas "allowance". This included his estimate of how much I would burn going to school and some recreational driving. It wasn't much. I paid for everything over the allowed amount which ALSO gave me incentive to not just cruise around, run to the beach, etc. I still did those things but they were thought out and planned. Planned as in, if my pals wanted to go to Seaside... THEY paid the gas, I drove. If dad had been paying, there wouldn't have been a chance I would have extracted gas money from my pals.
Something to consider...

The Chub · 08-18-2005, 10:42 AM

I paid for everything. My mom was single, and we didn't have much.

sandman · 08-18-2005, 10:43 AM

Quote:

My parents paid my insurance, but I worked Sundays at the local station to pay for my gas. I'd only worked farm type jobs in the summer up to that point, so I thought it served me well to work on a little customer service for future jobs. Lawdog

Same as lawdog,Maybe have him work around the house or get a part time job to help with gas.

fishbait · 08-18-2005, 10:46 AM

My oldest paid her gas and we paid the insurance. We bought the car as it was necessary to get her to her zero period Leadership class and to work. There were times she could not drive where she wanted because she did not have gas money, but ya know, life is sometimes hard and she did live through it. If you want something in this world you have to get off your butt and work for it. She worked from the time she was 16. I was not pleased with the number of hours she choose to work in her Jr & Sr year, 20+ per week, but it was her choice. BTY she graduated HS with a 3.8 GPA even with working those hours. Now working two jobs this summer and off to collage in another month. I am damm proud of that girl. She is making better decisions than I was when I was her age.

Never too early to learn a good work ethic in my book.

WaterDog · 08-18-2005, 10:52 AM

I guess I'm old school as well. While I was lucky enough have bought my first car from my grand parents for $1, I paid for everything myself. My gas, my own insurance policy, my repair bills. You drive it, you pay for it. When I got tired of the 73 Pinto I was driving who paid for the truck I bought? Me.

In a day and age where teens think they are entitiled to everything their parents have without working for it and have little to no responsiblity, I cannot even imagine footing the bill for all of that. The real world doesnt work that way and the sooner they learn it the better off they are.

bassin · 08-18-2005, 11:02 AM

I agree with Abolone Post. We are currenting paying Gas and Ins. for our 19 year old daughter. Payed for the car too. I would not do it over. I had to get my own growing up and I think that helped me in the long run.
I think I way over compensated for my youth, and she would appreciate it more if she had earned it.
Besides then I could have bought a bigger boat.

OceanBlue · 08-18-2005, 11:37 AM

Quote:

I guess I'm old school as well. While I was lucky enough have bought my first car from my grand parents for $1, I paid for everything myself. My gas, my own insurance policy, my repair bills. You drive it, you pay for it. When I got tired of the 73 Pinto I was driving who paid for the truck I bought? Me.

In a day and age where teens think they are entitiled to everything their parents have without working for it and have little to no responsiblity, I cannot even imagine footing the bill for all of that. The real world doesnt work that way and the sooner they learn it the better off they are.

Amen to that!

My dad paid for part of my first car as a reward for the 4.0 I acheived. I worked part time from the time I was 15 and still managed to keep my grades up. I paid my own gas, my own insurance and my own repairs. If I screwed up, my parents took my driving privileges away and I had to walk to school and ride the bus to work.

I never EVER looked at the BMW's, Cadillacs and Mercedes in the school parking lot and wished my mommy and daddy bought me one of those. (why would I? I had the coolest ride in the school - Mustang - '69 fastback :grin

To this day, I'm glad they didn't. The taught me responsibility, accountability and that the world doesn't had you things on a silver platter.

My son just bought his first vehicle and will finally get his driver's license (I wouldn't allow it until he had a min. 3.0 GPA, a job AND could buy a vehicle with cash)

I'm allowing him to ride on my insurance policy, but he will pay the $95/mo that it will cost to have him there. He'll only be allowed to drive to school and work and if his grades slip, so do the keys... right into my pocket.

Tough? Yeah, you bet. But he will appreciate and understand hard work and rewards.

Jennie@ifish · 08-18-2005, 11:38 AM

So far I am paying for David's insurance, and he pays for gas to go to work.

If he gets one ticket, he pays for that, and any increase in the insurance rate. (Maybe the whole thing, if it is bad enough!)

Jen

Cliff · 08-18-2005, 11:59 AM

My parents pay for my insurance, and during the summer they make me pay gas. During school, they paid for me. I dont have time to work during school becuz of the school load, so they pay for gas and insurance then. But in the summer they said get a job or dont drive anywhere... lol I think thats the best. Have your kid work hard in school instead of worrying about work and making money, then in the summer make him work for his own gas money!

Cliff

ajfishfinder · 08-18-2005, 01:34 PM

By the time my sister and 2 brothers had finished with moms 72 pinto wagon there wasn't much left for me to drive.

We each paid the difference as a driver was added and the premium went up. There were plenty of tickets before I even had a permit. Don't remember what my cut was but I know I worked for it and paid it. For gas I could usually count on friends if they wanted to go anywhere. I keep telling my son that in 6 more years he can have my 85 nissan pickup. Jeeze It just might be a classic if it makes it that long. Only catch is he will have to pay the first 6 months insurance up front and have 3 point or better grades.

eat, sleep, fish · 08-18-2005, 02:08 PM

Right now my mom pays for my insurance and I have to pay for my gas. My dad helps me out with gas everyonce in a while, but I have to help him with his job (he installs cabinets). Also, if I get a ticket I'll have to pay the amount that the insurance increases.

Grantspastor · 08-18-2005, 02:31 PM

I have two daughters, both now married. When it came time for driving I used the "30/30" rule (they can't date or drive til they're 30) Seriously the way it worked out was my oldest daughter inherited a 68 volskwagen. She paid Insurance and gas. I paid half for my youngest daughter's first car. She paid insurance and gas. Both girls think I am the greatest dad in the world. They both got good grades and were highly responsible. Both had minor wrecks the first year of driving. When I was 16 I bought the car, paid insurance, and bought the gas. I had a forty hour a week job in High School. It doens't seem to have hurt any of us too much. I'm not against helping kids in any way if the money is available...just don't think it hurts them to work for it either.

Silver Hilton · 08-18-2005, 02:39 PM

My parents paid insurance until I was out of school. Gas was my problem, as were repairs.

Shortbus Flashers · 08-18-2005, 07:36 PM

We are paying for the insurance, but gas is his... thank goodness with the prices now. Insurance went up $80 per month, but if he gets a ticket, he is on his own (least thats my wifes current agreement

) I want him to keep his grades up so college costs me less, but I really want him to learn some more responsibility. I guess my mom payed for my insurance, so fair is fair....

Lepper · 08-18-2005, 07:53 PM

My parents paid for insurance with the knoweldge of 1 ticket and I was on my own..

They also paid for 2 tanks of fuel a month.. anymore then that and I Was on my way. of course that was when you could still get gas for under 1$ a gallon.. or 1.20 a gallon..

skybuster · 08-18-2005, 08:07 PM

My parents wouldn't even let me take the driving test until I had all the money for my own insurance. I remember resenting them a bit at the time because I had been told when I was younger that if I got good grades and did well in sports that all of those issues would be taken care of for me.

I somehow managed to maintain a better than 3.5 gpa, played sports year round, and paved roads 50+ hours a week in the summer to pay all my own bills through high school. I may have grown up a little faster than some of my friends, but I am reaping those rewards right now and am thankful that my parents taught me the value of my own hard earned dollar.

Musicman · 08-20-2005, 07:42 PM

My wife and I agreed to fill our son's tank every Sunday on the way to church, I paid insurance until his first ticket and then he was on his own...less than a year. Worked out pretty well. One tank full a week would get him through the week without doing anything extra...If he ran out two days later, it was his responsibility.

sinker · 08-21-2005, 05:26 PM

The way my dad had it setup with me was he paid the insurance and I paid the gas.
Until I got a ticket or got in a wreck, then he was yanking my license. Can't count the number of times I got pulled over but never did get a ticket. Everyone else I knew got tickets but I never did. It helps to admit you were doing something stupid and fess right up to it. LOL.

Not sure what I'll do with my daughter, still have 9 years to worry about that one.

WaterDog · 08-21-2005, 08:18 PM

Skybuster - I know how you feel. I worked as a grade checker building roads and private developments. Worked 60-70 hours a week. When I turned 16 "summer vacation" was a thing of the past. I too resented having to work and pay for all my own stuff, but when you make more in a week than the old man did in a month, suddenly it ain't so bad. There were a lot of lessons to be learned during these summers if you payed attention.

I knew I did not want to that for the rest of my life but it payed my way though college and got a degree in Civil Engineering out of the deal. :grin:

We grew up sooner than most and we are better off for it without a doubt. Thanks Mom and Dad.

sandman · 09-29-2005, 08:28 PM

Catchnrelease,Do you really have insurance??I thought you told me you didn't send in last years premiums to save to buy a boat??

Keeper · 09-30-2005, 07:40 AM

My parents bought my first car and paid for the insurance but I was required to work part time and still get 3.5 or better in HS.

My son bought his own truck, paid for his insurance and worked part time. When he decided to upgrade to a newer truck with less problems, he borrowed from the Bank of Grandma. Too bad Grandma can't report to the credit bureau his good payment record!

He is also paying his own way through college.

I am a firm believer in "it means more to you if you worked to pay for it". Too many teens expect everything to be given to them and are not ready for real life.

lost_sailor · 09-30-2005, 08:26 AM

My son pays the difference between what our payment used to be and what it is now. He buys gas once in a while.

He doesn't have a car - - that's tough when you live in West Linn and everybody buys their kids a new Hummer (boys) or a VW Beetle (girls) when they turn 16. Oh, I'm exaggerating ... some kids have to live with a Camry.

I can't even buy myself a car ... I didn't HAVE a car until I was 22 years old!

CATCH AND EAT · 09-30-2005, 11:48 AM

When I was in HS I paid for my own gas and my parents paid for my insurance. They continued to pay for my insurance until my junior year of college when I got married. In turn I paid for my entire college education by working my tail off through high school and college.

I will admit that once in a while my mom would slip me a 10 or 15 when date night came around but that was not very often.

One thing I was very mindful of growing up is that my father had taught me a skill that I used to this day repairing cars. I earned extra money doing this in college as well as doing janitor work and working at the switchboard (whoops dated myself there did'nt I) on campus. Summers was mostly work, work, work and no real play time but that was fine because I always had money even after paying for classes and books.

Far as my kids are concerned my daughter will have to show a little more motivation to recieve a car from me. She is a great kid but really does not have much interest in driving yet and she is 17.

Man I could not wait that long when I was a kid. My grandpa had me driving his car at 14.5 and made me promise to not tell my folks about it. Finally told them 2 years ago and I am now 42.

My son's will have to work for what they recieve and show good citizenship to boot. Both are great kids but I believe that values can still be instilled even in a childs teen year.

Give them the world and it will ruin them forever. Nothing worse than a spoiled rotten kid. All ya have to do is watch 10 minutes of that stupid reality show where rich kids are doing a cattle drive and you will see what I mean. Absolutly ruined.

FastActionRodTip · 09-30-2005, 01:08 PM

tell him no car until he's 18...that's my plan, good grades or not...I just don't see why 16 year olds need to drive...graduate high school then I'll buy him a safe care..too big a distraction at 16 and too dangerous....sure am glad though my parents didn't enforce that!