For those of you that haven't read part one read here
http://www.ifish.net/ubb/ultimatebb....;f=14;t=000852
For the rest of you guys/gals
Geez you guys mellow out, I was only in solitary for a little while. You guys are more vocal than that little guy in the cell with Bubba.
Part Two: THE WARDEN SPEAKS
We return to the hapless hunters who are trying to concentrate on hunting while knowing that they have to go back to the ranch to face the game warden.
We spot a nice four point buck running with a doe. It was only about 22-24 inches wide but was about 24 inches tall. I think the width was a little less than the Bill the outfitter wanted us to shoot but at that point he has realized that we are the clients from hell so he would have let us shoot a spike just to get us to leave the state. It also helped that the wife saw the buck first and hollered “THERES A BIG BUCK, THAT ONE IS MINE!!”. If you have ever heard my wife yell you know that it will either make you lose control of all bodily functions or give you a strong urge to go clean the garage. The outfitter tells the wife “shoot it if you want it” (this is as he is cowering on the floor board). We bailed out of the truck and tried to circle down wind and make a sneak. The terrain is made up of small rolling wooded hummocks that are covered with timber and interlaced with small fields of winter wheat. Wind is about 20 miles per hour, 3 inches of snow and 15 degrees. We spent about 30 minutes looking for the buck to no avail. The wind was swirling and I think he had us pegged. We took our time working our way back to the truck so Bill could extract himself from under the steering wheel and get himself cleaned up. When we got in the truck Bill said it was time to get back to the ranch, it seemed he had this hankering to clean his garage. The drive back to the ranch was uneventful and was just a matter of discussing what to do about the missing antelope tag. Bill was contemplating sleeping in in the morning as he was assuming that both the wife and I would be in separate jail cells.
Mean while back at the ranch (I have always wanted to say that in a story) three of the hunters were cleaning up the deer that they shot at another ranch the day before. The deer were a 27 inch wide 3x3 with long eye guards, heavy mass and over 24 inches high, a 26 inch 3x4 with three weird eye guards and kind of spindly and a 26 inch wide perfect symmetrical 4x4 with decent mass. Nice bucks.
When we arrived back, we looked at the deer, congratulated everyone, heard the abbreviated versions of their hunts and then went into the ranch house. Bill was on the phone with the Game Warden to let him know that we were home and ready for our whipping.
About 15 minutes later a couple of the guides rounded everyone up and made them go wait in the living room. It seems that there was some concern that a couple of the hunters that had found the liquor cabinet might want to help Bill convince the Game Warden about how Montana’s laws should be interpreted. It was wisely determined that this would probably not be in the best interests of my wife or myself. After about 45 minutes of the Warden talking with Bill they called my number to walk the green mile. The Warden wanted to talk with me. Now this was a different game officer than I had talked to on the phone the night before so I figured Hey! Why not try the crying defense on this guy? After about 5 minutes of standing in the kitchen and wailing and wetting myself the warden waved me over and told me to sit down and take this like a man. At that point I was happy I was in Montana and not San Francisco. The Game Wardens in Montana must all have memorized the same speech to give to hunting outlaws because the first thing the warden did was explain to me how serious this tagging incident was and that I could lose my hunting privileges for two years. He proceeded to question me on what had happened and how it happened and why it happened etc. etc. etc.. I understood the wardens position and was quite cooperative. I did get a little impatient when it was clear at times that the warden was trying to get me to implicate the outfitter. (As Bllelk commented on a previous post it was becoming obvious that the outfitter was who they were after.) I tried to make it clear that in my opinion the outfitter acted very professional at all times and made the laws of Montana quite clear to us prior to us even picking up a gun. The warden went on to show me a list of all 29 states where I could lose my license and only through the goodness of the state would I only be sited for failure to properly fill out my tag. While he is telling me this he is handing around my tag to outfitter Bill and me so we can see the crime committed. It seems that Bill cut out the month completely but just made the two cut marks on the day and didn’t completely tear it out. I hung my head. I now knew what Al Gore felt like. (okay, that’s a little extreme). The warden started writing up my citation while holding my tag, asking me, name, address, phone, drivers license number and what time did I shoot the antelope. I said 8:30. He said I hope that was “a m”. I told him I believed it was. He then holds my tag and says you shot it on Oct. 27, is that correct? At this point I start laughing and said it seems a little ironic that you can fill out my citation with information from a tag that is improperly filled out. He didn’t think my joke was funny. So now I am done. I get my citation, I pay cash on the spot……no checks please….. the warden tells me he hopes to see me next year (is that some kind of warden joke?) and it is time to call my wife for her questioning about losing the tag on her antelope.
I go out to the living room and tap my lovely wife on the shoulder. “Please don’t yell at the warden” I whisper to her because the floor is clean and the garage has already been straightened by Bill. I stay in the living room and answer the questions posed by the other hunters and guides with as much bravado and tough talk as I can while holding yesterdays paper over my lap so no one will notice the stain. I am in the living room for about 5 minutes when a guide comes in and tells me I better get out to the kitchen because “your wife is more nervous than a ***** in church”. I join the questioning in the kitchen and listen while the warden is asking my wife if she thought that the outfitter had properly taken care of the animal and whether she thought he was negligent. She is nervous which surprised me (and surprises her she tells me later). She answered that we had shot the antelope, tagged and gutted it, and upon getting it to the ranch it was immediately caped and skinned and hung from a 10 foot meat pole. She said that she has only hunted for ten years but that was what we had done in every deer camp she had been in so everything looked okay to her. The warden then asked her what leg of the antelope was tagged. She replied that she didn’t remember in that she was a little excited at the time of shooting it and the guides took over from there. (She thought of asking whether she had four guesses.) At that point I let the warden know that we had videos of the animal and still pictures and if he really wanted to know what leg we could get those developed. He wasn’t interested and asked me what leg was tagged. I replied that I just remember that it was one of the front ones. My wife then went on to say that the outfitter was a complete professional at all times and that this was just an honest mistake.(hmmmm, the second honest mistake with the same couple, these people from Orygun are about as sharp as a marble). We then went through the litany of all the states the wife wouldn’t be able to hunt in if he charged her with having an illegal antelope and she wouldn’t be able to hunt for two years. Finally my wife asks “doesn’t it matter at all that the fish and game were out here yesterday and checked all the tags?” The response was “well, that does help your case a little bit”. After a little more talk the game warden decided to provide my wife with a duplicate tag.
But he wasn’t done. The warden had noticed that one of the hunters had removed the back straps and loins from one of the animals. He wanted to see that meat so that hunter was retrieved out of the living room and went out to the shed to show the warden that yes, the sex organs were with the meat that had been removed from the animal. I hate to think what we would have had to show him if we had eaten the meat.
Finally the warden leaves, the wife gets a duplicate tag, I get a $120 citation and lose my antelope. How do I feel about it? The warden was probably right in the citation, I thought he had a little leeway regarding taking the antelope but that is the way it goes. I thought that the interrogation of my wife about her antelope was a little over the edge. It was obvious that they were after the outfitter but the outfitter claims he has never been cited for anything in the 30 years of doing business. Any way it makes for a memorable hunt. The outfitter paid my fine and gave me a free antelope hunt for next year if I draw a tag. I did make it clear to him that if I shot anything I was going to sleep with it and not let it out of my sight.
Of the 10 hunters there, all shot bucks except one guy who left early and my wife and me. We had our chances and either didn’t take them or missed them. I saw over 100 bucks. At least 20 of which were 20 inches and above. Two of the bucks that we had passed up were taken by someone in camp. I have no regrets I had a great time. The last night I was hunting near the ranch barn waiting for some of the big boys to come out of the surrounding foothills. By 15 minutes before dark I had 10 bucks within 100 yards of me, mostly forked horns and three points and one 4 point about 20 inches wide. A three point within 30 yards of me was about 19 inches wide and about that high with fairly heavy bases. It was pretty cool.
If I could get a bigger paper route I wouldn’t hesitate hunting with Rocking W Outfitters again. They were complete professionals, fed us extremely well, and did their best to get us in front of animals. After the hunt several of the guides thanked us for our attitude (while I was busy pushing pins into dolls in their likeness) but they all were excellent. It truly was a “Trip of a Lifetime”
(PS> This is OLC’s wife: I’m NOT as bad as my husband makes me out to be!!! Our garage is a mess.)
edit: Yeah, thanks sweety.
OneLastCast
[ 11-27-2002, 06:49 PM: Message edited by: OneLastCast ]
The Warden Speaks..Part 2..Wearin Stripes
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