You might be a redneck !!!

Chinookjinxd · 05-15-2005, 08:13 PM

Many of you have seen the blue collar comedy tour and have seen Jeff Foxworthy do his "You might be a redneck" but I was thinking since the fishing besides Shad is slow we would make up our own, with a fishing theme of course. Any theme you want just as long as its fishing related.
So to begin...
If the leader is longer then that of the fish you intend to catch..... You might be a snagger.

have fun!!!!

Fshklr · 05-15-2005, 08:16 PM

NFR

fishingls · 05-16-2005, 04:25 AM

You might be a redneck if you have to make a beer run (1) before it's time to quit fishing or (2) while the fish are biting.
From a real life fishing trip with four friends, You be a redneck if your friends bring four ice chests with a combined weight over 225 lbs. full of beer & ice and no food. And you might be redneck if you think this is normal.

You might be a redneck if your fishing motto is, "If it swims, it dies."
You might be a redneck if beer is the main ingredient in all fish cooking recipes.

3riversBob · 05-16-2005, 07:06 AM

You might be a redneck if the seats in your boat double as lawnchairs.

Bob

sunshinefisherman · 05-16-2005, 08:12 AM

If your favorite fishing pole has a fuse, you might be a redneck.

StickFish · 05-16-2005, 08:24 AM

If your Bass Boat cost 4 times as much as the house you live in, youuuu might be a redneck.

In Larry the Cable Guy Fashion - "oh lord forgive me for what I just said."

Abalone · 05-16-2005, 08:35 AM

This one has got to be the best one out there:

What is the last thing a Redneck ever says ?

" Heay you'all, watch this ! "

something about that really makes me laugh...

Somebody on IFISH used this awhile back.

fishingls · 05-16-2005, 11:50 AM

You might be a redneck if you or any of your relatives use or own lures made by dupont.
You might be a redneck if you consider fishing trips with your gal romantic outings.
You might be a redneck if your favorite fishing tool is a pitchfork.
You might be a redneck if you brag about outrunning the fish cop.
You might a be redneck if you have memorized the fuse burn rate and sink rate of dupont lures.
You might be a redneck if your wife allows you to keep your worms and/or baits in the kitchen refrigerator.
You might be a redneck if you have ever eaten your fish'in bait.
You might be a redneck if you think the terms drifter and plunker refer to things you do to woman.

Abalone · 05-16-2005, 11:54 AM

Lets go to the family picnic and pickup sum Chicks ! :shocked:

5 Salt · 05-16-2005, 12:15 PM

You might be a Redneck,...If you have a boat motor hanging from a tree in your yard.

:grin:

Chinookjinxd · 05-16-2005, 02:54 PM

you might be a redneck if you have a canoe with a kicker
you might be a redneck if your longer then your boat
you might be a redneck if you have a beer tap in your drifter or sled
you might be a redneck if you would actully concider eating shad or Pikeminnow
you might be a redneck if your boat goes faster then your car
AND FINALLY !!!!
You might be a redneck if you back your motor into the bathtub to see how it runs.

Chinookjinxd · 05-16-2005, 06:57 PM

Lets hear some more guys.

Softball Dad · 05-16-2005, 07:08 PM

You might be a redneck!!! If your $30,000 Thunder Jet looks like this

mcknerkneykak · 05-16-2005, 07:29 PM

-----------Yer wife hollers from the bathroom----Y'all come in here an' look at this 'fore I flush it!

Chinookjinxd · 05-16-2005, 08:31 PM

Holy christ that sled lookes like it could take off if it wanted to !!!!

yankemnbankem · 05-17-2005, 09:22 AM

If you have a 7 ft sturgeon you named Alice living in your Dough Boy swimming pool, youuuuuu might be a redneck.

If your trolling spinners are made by Hamms, youuuuuuu might be a redneck.

If you use that new fishin scent called "Gravy" on yer patatoes, youuuu might be a redneck.

If you think Smelly Jelly works great as a *%$%#$ lubricant youuuu might be a redneck.

If you use bubble gum as your drain plug for your boat, youuuu might be a redneck.

And, if whilst starting your cherry one owner boat motor you have to say "ok, she'll start on THIS pull" youuuuuu definatly are a redneck.

If when you have finally got yer cherry one owner boat motor going and the boater next to you says, "wheres the fire, I smell smoke" you are a redneck.

RvW · 05-17-2005, 09:43 AM

If youve ever stolen your wifes earings...
and used them as trout lures. You might be a redneck.

If your buddy has ever put a full bottle of ultrabite in your beer, and you didnt notice a difference in flavor...you might be a redneck.

FrogPond · 05-17-2005, 10:05 AM

just for you RvW...

If you have ever split a fried milt sac with yo momma...you might be a

redneck.

:grin:

RvW · 05-17-2005, 04:42 PM

Yew sayn my momma eats milt?

Boy, yall done said yer last "my momma" jote.
I'z about ta open a nummer 10 can a whoopass on you son.

My mommas a vejtarean. Wich raisez a queshun.

Which came ferst

da milt or da fish?

jokester · 05-17-2005, 05:00 PM

If you've been on TV more than 3 times describing what the tornado sounded like...you might be a redneck!

If you own a house that has wheels on it, and cars that don't...you might be a redneck!

If your father walks you to school every day because you're both in the same grade...you might be a redneck!

If you think a stock tip is advice on worming your hogs...you might be a redneck!

If your front porch collapses and kills more than 4 dogs...you might be a redneck!

If you think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 MPH...you might be a redneck!

If you've ever cut the grass and found the car...you might be a redneck!

-jokester

RODACTION · 05-17-2005, 05:40 PM

Quote:

If you've ever cut the grass and found the car...you might be a redneck!

If you've ever cut the grass and found the bass boat...you might be a redneck !

thanks for

ajfishfinder · 05-17-2005, 06:22 PM

Sounds like my neighbors yard

Only when they get around to mowing they usually find a mower that ran out of gas on them last september, or the one that ran dry of oil last july, or the one that has no starter rope from last june, or maybe the one that they used to tie the dog to until they couldn't find it anymore.

The really sad part of this is that I ain't joking

Out here they don't call then redneck just MOLITE's

fishingls · 05-17-2005, 08:05 PM

You might be a redneck if you have ever hunted fish with a gun.

SteelheadBum2 · 05-18-2005, 10:31 PM

you might be a red neck if you eat carp caught out of the willamette river

bignate · 05-19-2005, 08:11 AM

If you have ever said to the judge "What do you mean she will still be my sister? I thought the divorce was final?" you might be a red neck

Radke · 05-19-2005, 08:24 AM

You might be a redneck if you have been married three times but always had the same inlaws.

Had a child born on a pool table

have two or more brothers named Darrell.

ajfishfinder · 05-19-2005, 10:32 AM

If most of your friend share the name Bubba, Skeeter, or Cooter---You just might be a redneck

StickFish · 05-19-2005, 12:23 PM

Now that we have left the fishing related jokes.

You might be a redneck if you think the family reunion is a great place to pick up girls.

You may be a redneck if you refer to your computer mouse as a "critter"

If your computer monitor is up on cinder blocks, you may be a redneck.

If you carried a fishing pole into Seaworld you are a Redneck.

You know your a redneck if you bring back more from the trip to the dump than what you took to get rid of.

Last but not least, if the value of your pickup truck goes up and down depending on how much gas you have in the tank you just might be a redneck.

sunshinefisherman · 05-19-2005, 02:19 PM

Quote:

You might be a redneck if you have ever hunted fish with a gun.

Guilty

Cool Texan · 05-19-2005, 02:32 PM

If you've ever cooked Spam on the grill....

Or if you've ever used Spam in the bedroom....

Silver Hilton · 05-19-2005, 06:48 PM

If you ever started a fishing or a hunting lesson with the words, "First look around and see if you can see a game warden...", you might be a redneck...

05-19-2005, 07:53 PM

If your new TV is sitting on top of your old burned out TV!

RODACTION · 05-19-2005, 08:30 PM

If yer wife makes a quilt outa empty whiskie bottle bags and you win a trip to a NASCAR race.

You may need to have yer self checked out !! Cuz yer a redneck !