Washington Post Mensa Invitational award winners!

[Hogmaster]

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to

take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or

changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's

winners:



1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you

realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows

little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of

getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the

subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person

who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's

like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day

consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when

they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after

you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your

bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in

the fruit you're eating.



And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an [edit - well, you know].





Nothing appears more surprising to those who consider human affairs with a philosophical eye, than the easiness with which the many are governed by the few.

[Riverkeeper]

Holy cow, those are awesome.

I can't wait to be reintarnated , dad-gumit.

[Paddlefish]

Oh, Boy! Vocabulary Invention! One of my favorites.

How 'bout:

- Plaidomasochism: (n)The compulsive wearing of unattractive golf attire.

- Cellubacy: (n) The refusal to carry and be slave to a cell phone.

- Viagravation: (n) Grandma's unfavorable reaction to Grandpa's new, rejuvenating medication.

- Swooshups: (n) Nike's new line of push-up exercise bras.

- Hooping cough: (n)A chronic disease indicated by an annual choking reflex at playoff time. (Also see "Failblazers.")

- Sinsomnia: (n) Loss of sleep caused by fear of discovery of past indiscretions.

- Buyological Clock: (n)A woman's inborn ability to know the exact amount of time remaining before the mall closes.

- Baggravation: (n) The realization that you requested paper and you received plastic.

- Swimpotent: (adj) A man's physical condition upon emerging from very cold water.

- Oswegotistical: (adj) The belief that traffic signs, signals, and regulations are primarily intended for other drivers, in order to keep them out of one's own path.

- Webbarrassment: (n) A woman's reaction upon discovering that her ex-husband has posted nude photos of her on the internet.

- Soxic fumes: (n) The odors emanating from a teenage boy's dirty laundry.

- SUVeriority: (n) A misguided feeling of self-importance and male prowess, based on owning the biggest sport utility vehicle in the neighborhood.

- Doopoint (n) The spot to avoid when walking in an area inhabited by a large dog.

- Magniflycation: (n) A man's tendancy, when describing his sexual exploits, to exaggerate his "physical dimensions."

- Cupgrade: (v) To divorce one's wife for a younger, bustier, trophy version.

- Manstrocity: (n) A new, very large and very expensive home, typically Neo-Greco-Italianate-Tudor-Arabesque in style with a minimum of three garage doors across the front. (Also see: "Crastle," "Surreal Estate.")

- Grandfather Pause: (n)The assumption of some drivers when approaching a 4-way stop that, if they've been forced to stop as the second or third car in line, they're exempted from having to stop again when they reach the actual intersection.

[Hogmaster]

Jack,

VVVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRRRRRY NICE!

I like the local flavor!



Idiocracy - It takes a village. :smile:

[Paddlefish]

Bump. Too punny to lose.