Why am I like this???

[PeterMac]

I have always believe in God. I pray on a regular basis. Recently I have been doing a ot of reading and gaining understanding about what it means to have a relationship with the Lord.

I have a great deal of respect for people that can be open about their faith with their friends and the public - like many of the people on this board can be. I have a hard time being open about it , like I am afraid that I will be judged, and looked down upon. I guess that I am self concious about it. I don't want to be. I see men of faith as being strong, maybe I don't see myself that way, I just don't know.

The thing that makes me sad about it is that my recent learnings have informed me and made me understand just how strong God's love is for me. The only way I can relate to that strength is when I look at my love for my kids - and his love is even stronger than that. Then I say to myself, how would I like it my children were afraid, or hesitant to show, or let people know about their love for me? Basically turn their back on me! Well, I wouldn't feel very good about that, so I am guessing that God doesn't like it very well when I am that way about Him.

I have to change. It has been only recently that I can even talk about my faith with my wife. I have a few Christian friends that I am open with, but that is the extent of it (except with my kids, we are open and I feel it is my responsibility to expose them the best I can).

Even as I type this I wonder what certain people on the board will think, so I guess this is sort of a break through. I need to get over this hurdle and be the man that I want and need to be (and that God wants me to be!).

Thanks for listening. Any and all comments are welcome.

PeterMac

[letsfish]

The thing that makes me sad about it is that my recent learnings have informed me and made me understand just how strong God's love is for me. The only way I can relate to that strength is when I look at my love for my kids - and his love is even stronger than that. Then I say to myself, how would I like it my children were afraid, or hesitant to show, or let people know about their love for me? Basically turn their back on me

Wow! What an impactful picture. Kind of leaves you speechless.Thanks for the picture and for stepping out.
Jim

[DAB]

Pete,
That took real courage to share that here, because you don't know if the ones that respond to your post are in the same boat ( belive the same as you ). You don't know what denomination anyone belongs to, or thier Theoligy (SPELLING) unless they state it. I was saved in a Conservitive Baptist church but am not a full blood Baptist.
I curantly atend Good Shepard Community Church in Boring Oregon.
I listen to R.C.Sproul on my way to work, and The Bible Answer Man on my way home at night.
Sounds like you are on the right track, keep reading and ask God to guide you on the RIGHT PATH.
God Bless
DAB

[jokester]

It's tough sometimes Pete. :depressed: I'll be the first to admit, i'm not perfect and I've made a TON of mistakes. Shoot, we all have! I'd like to be the model christian for others to see also, so I'll be praying for you and your family, and you keep me in your prayers! I too feel your pain sometimes brother!!

-jokester

[fishnwHim]

Wow Pete, What a great picture you have painted for us all! You are so on track, you are sensitive to what God is putting on your heart and that is exactly what He wants of you. You are " Seeking First the Kingdom" and all the other things will come when your relationship has grown stronger. Don't beat yourself up " there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus" Just relax and celebrate your freedom in Christ, And keep enjoying your family, because it's all about Relationship. Thanks for your post it has bolstered me up!! God Bless ya Man !!

[fishonksm]

PeterMac what a great insight in what the lord is laying on your heart. Some thoughts i can share with you are is that when the apostle paul started his ministry saying you are all sinners, later he changed it to I'm a sinner, and in his death he called himself the chiefest of sinners. Just remember we are all sinners. No one is better than the other. My other thought (which works for me) is to ask biblical questions to thoes who may not know the answere, but you do. It will open doors to talk about their salvation. start with friends and family then work into co-works in confidence that the lord is with you. By your reading the bible and praying for Gods will in your life you will see your strenght and wisdom grow and become the man god would have you to be and become an imitator of God as in EPH 5.1

Even as I type this I wonder what certain people on the board will think

Don't worry about what others think. Be yourself and be happy about it. You and your family are a good people.

[Fish-n-Fever]

I am afraid that I will be judged, and looked down upon

A very wise man once told me...

Keep your eyes on God and not on people and your walk will be simpler.

No person has a right to judge you or any man that is God's and only God's. Everyone falls short, even those who you might think don't, that's why the wise man said "Keep your eyes on God and not on people and your walk will be simpler."

Ron

[Grantspastor]

Actually, what you are saying sounds pretty good to me. I think we need to get to the point where we realize that in order to truly change and grow we have to totally depend on God and His ability to work it out in us. You'll get there. God is not only able to start the process, he is able to complete it. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up. God isn't looking at you as sub-standard. Romans 8 says "therefore there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus". It also says that nothing in all creation is able to separate us from the love of God. Just trust the Lord and follow Him. The rest is a process...and it takes time. The Book of Ephesians calls it "washing with water by the Word". As you try to put Biblical principles into daily practice, you will find yourself thinking and viewing life differently. II Corinthians 5 says we are "new creations". That means you are God's handiwork. The way I look at it is...if God is satisfied with me, then I probably should be too.

None of us bring very much to the table when it comes to being men or women of God. About the only thing that really counts is faith in the lord, and a desire and willingness to let Him mold and shape our lives. It doesn't sound to me like you are in a place of weakness. Instead it sounds to me like you are on the verge of a breakthrough.

[fishnwHim]

Actually, what you are saying sounds pretty good to me. I think we need to get to the point where we realize that in order to truly change and grow we have to totally depend on God and His ability to work it out in us. You'll get there. God is not only able to start the process, he is able to complete it. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up. God isn't looking at you as sub-standard. Romans 8 says "therefore there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus". It also says that nothing in all creation is able to separate us from the love of God. Just trust the Lord and follow Him. The rest is a process...and it takes time. The Book of Ephesians calls it "washing with water by the Word". As you try to put Biblical principles into daily practice, you will find yourself thinking and viewing life differently. II Corinthians 5 says we are "new creations". That means you are God's handiwork. The way I look at it is...if God is satisfied with me, then I probably should be too.

None of us bring very much to the table when it comes to being men or women of God. About the only thing that really counts is faith in the lord, and a desire and willingness to let Him mold and shape our lives. It doesn't sound to me like you are in a place of weakness. Instead it sounds to me like you are on the verge of a breakthrough.

Amen

[PeterMac]

Wow, been away from the monitor here for the holiday, these are some excellent responses. Thank you very much, your comments are all very well received and appreciated. What I am hearing is "stay the course". I had a couple good opportunities over the long weekend to "venture out" a bit, and it felt very good. I plan on keeping my eyes and heart open for these moments and not let them slip away.

This is great! Thanks for the help!

PeterMac

[feisty's wife]

Post deleted by Jennie@ifish

[Chromaflage]

Edited out quote of above edited post. Sorry, ORS.

[fishhog4u]

Man, Peter put into words what I have been feeling. But his explanation was superb.
I also deal with the same issues, wanting to share God with others, but fearing what other people would think.
I have a good friend of mine that is going through some really tough times. I desperately want to talk to him. I figure if he is a true friend, then he will understand that I only want what's best for him.
God give me the strength, courage and words to talk to him about your infinate love.

Glad to hear it Peter :smile: And it looks like you got the Grantspaster seal of approval. I would consider this a real honor, GP is 1st class.

[PeterMac]

I have looked at this very hard the last few days. I feel like I am changing before my eyes. I made a breakthrough with regard to my hesitation to be more open about my relationship with the Lord. The problem/solution lies very close to home. I realized, that because I have spent the better part of my life being judgemental and selfserving, I naturally assume that everyone else, or most everyone else is the same. So, that causes me to go through life guessing what people want to see me as, and then conform the best I can so I'll be liked and accepted (not sure if the psychology is totally correct there, but that is the way it is coming out).

What I am talking about here is finally being able to step out and show the world what the heck I am made of. At 43 years old it is about time! Besides, why should I care if someone judges me negatively because, for example, my IFISH signiture there is a bible verse reference, or because the name of my boat has biblical conotation. I need to be proud of my beliefs, not ashamed!

Wow! Through a relationship with God, I am being blessed with the self esteem to finally be complete. Not continually searching for that missing component (alcohol, tobacco, sex, food, bla bla bla)in my life that I need to feel loved. Whoa, this is heavy stuff for me, I mean like a real awakening. WOW! God bless america, Halelula(sp) brothers!

Thanks for letting me continue my adventure here friends. I gotta take a break!

PeterMac

[jokester]

Sounds like your having a real breakthrough pete! :smile: That's awesome news! We need to hook up and go fishing sometime. Maybe this spring again with RP & JCB, and talk more about our beliefs as christians. That was a real pleasure sitting there with you guys, discussing our faith and how good it was to be a child of God...although, this time let's actually catch something


-jokester

[PeterMac]

I am all over that!! That picture that was posted on another thread of all of us in the boat brought back a great memory. We definantly need to incorperate some fish into the equation next time .

We'll stay in touch :smile:.

PeterMac

[Ryan Pultz]

Hey that was a great trip. We defiantly need to take another on of them trips This time I will show you all how to catch some fish. HeHe rp