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Old 10-16-2004, 03:51 PM   #1
ampersat
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Default Funny little sayings

As seen on a T-shirt at the store:
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you for it.

Can't remember where I got this one (probably from an email at work):
We're going to simplify the process by adding a step.

Got any more?

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Old 10-16-2004, 05:23 PM   #2
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

I'll keep this clean but it was funny. I went to renew my CPR card and this "healthy" lady comes into the class with a white shirt on that reads "QUIT LOOKING AT MY T..'s"
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Old 10-16-2004, 05:27 PM   #3
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, am now using it as a rag.
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Old 10-16-2004, 05:32 PM   #4
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

National Association of Anarchists
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Old 10-16-2004, 06:23 PM   #5
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"Your village called. They lost their idiot"
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Old 10-16-2004, 08:14 PM   #6
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

"GRANDPA" Not an old model but a clasic.
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Old 10-16-2004, 08:38 PM   #7
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Illiterate? Write For Help

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!!

If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing

Boldly Going Nowhere

Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!


:grin:
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Old 10-16-2004, 10:45 PM   #8
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

"Gun Control" - The ability to hit your target.

Rehab is for quitters.
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Old 10-16-2004, 10:56 PM   #9
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

Give a man a fish and you will feed him dinner
Teach a man to fish and he will be late for dinner

Freak
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Old 10-17-2004, 09:40 AM   #10
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

Build a man a fire and he's warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 10-17-2004, 09:55 AM   #11
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Ive had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

He who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot needs new toilet.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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Old 10-17-2004, 10:07 AM   #12
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

"Stop Plate Tectonics"

"Visualize Whirrled Peas"

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We will love only what we understand.
We will understand only what we are taught.

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Old 10-17-2004, 02:06 PM   #13
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We're lost but we're makin' good time! :smile:
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Old 10-17-2004, 02:28 PM   #14
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

Of all the things I've lost... I miss my mind the most.
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Old 10-17-2004, 02:36 PM   #15
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I've been better but I can't remember when.
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Old 10-17-2004, 03:21 PM   #16
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"Earth First" means they'll mess up the other planets later.
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Old 10-17-2004, 03:38 PM   #17
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

God is coming and is She p***ed!! (On the back of my black Firebird T/A) :grin:
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Old 10-17-2004, 08:51 PM   #18
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Repeating yourself is a sign of ignorance and if I've said it once i've said it a hunderd times
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Old 10-17-2004, 08:54 PM   #19
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

It's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it!! Always my answer when Jerry asks if we really need to bring whatever along!!

Dipnet :grin:
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Old 10-17-2004, 10:38 PM   #20
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I was born with nothing. I still have most of it!
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Old 10-17-2004, 10:51 PM   #21
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

I used to get lost in the shuffle; now I just shuffle along with the lost.
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Old 10-18-2004, 05:30 AM   #22
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

The older I get the better I was.
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Old 10-18-2004, 06:22 AM   #23
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

"Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken"

"Who cares what Mikey likes"


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Old 10-18-2004, 06:52 AM   #24
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

It may not be big around, but it sure is short.

Of course referring to the one that got away....
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Old 10-18-2004, 07:00 AM   #25
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Never pet a burning dog.
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Old 10-18-2004, 07:21 AM   #26
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.
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Old 10-18-2004, 08:21 AM   #27
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

Quick Jesus is coming look busy!

I am the Christian the devil warned you about.

I am driving slow to &amp;!$$ you off
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Old 10-18-2004, 11:35 AM   #28
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

Dyslectics Untie!

Think about it...
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Old 10-18-2004, 11:45 AM   #29
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

[quote]
Dyslectics Untie!


Hey wait thats not funny!
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Old 10-18-2004, 12:23 PM   #30
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My brother bought this T shirt for my mom, who is dyslectic.

D. A. M. N.

"Naked Mothers Against Dyslectia"
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Old 10-18-2004, 01:19 PM   #31
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Default Re: Funny little sayings

On a t-shirt; Huked on foniks rellie wurket fore mi!
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Old 10-18-2004, 01:23 PM   #32
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Don't vote it only encourages the S.O.B.'s!
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Old 10-18-2004, 02:46 PM   #33
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"Earth First! we'll log the other planets later"
My favorite T-Shirt when I'm in Eugene

"I fish because the voices in my head tell me to"
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Old 10-18-2004, 03:13 PM   #34
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What would the world be like without hypothetical questions?
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Old 10-18-2004, 03:48 PM   #35
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Don't tell me about the pain, show me the baby.
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Old 10-18-2004, 04:17 PM   #36
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From an old old boss!


IF YOU WORK HERE LONG ENOUGH, YOU WILL REGAIN YOUR SANITY!
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Old 10-18-2004, 04:51 PM   #37
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My current employer…

ATTN EMPLOYEES:

THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES

signed...MANAGEMENT
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Old 10-18-2004, 06:40 PM   #38
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Re-elect Gore in 2004







Quote:
Never pet a burning dog
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Old 10-18-2004, 07:04 PM   #39
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1. Give a man a fish...feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish...and he'll sit in the boat and drink beer

2. Gun control means using both hands :grin:

3. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth

4. I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it

5. There's room for all of God's creatures....right next to the mashed potatoes!!!

-jokester
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Old 10-18-2004, 07:36 PM   #40
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I am a little BUSY.



Don't anyone work any more??
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Old 10-19-2004, 12:20 AM   #41
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You can catch more flys with honey than with vinegar....but if you pull their wings off they can't get away!
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Old 10-19-2004, 08:33 AM   #42
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"Your alligator mouth is overloading your hummingbird ***!"

"I'm a legend in my own mind"

"work is for people who don't know how to fish."

"P.E.T.A. - People Eating Tastey Animals"

"Never put off until tomorrow what can be put off until next week."

"Better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"The only dumb questions are ones requiring dumb answers."

"Insanity is inherited, you get it from your kids."

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Old 10-19-2004, 01:56 PM   #43
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"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic."

"I owe I owe its off to work I go"

"No honey thats not a new rod n reel you just havent noticed it before"

"Do you actually think I forgot"

"Burn all reciepts" "Always pay cash" and just hope when you die that all your fishing and hunting gear goes to your Sons...

"Life is short play hard"

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Old 10-19-2004, 03:56 PM   #44
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Vegetarian: An indian word for "bad hunter"
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Old 10-19-2004, 08:08 PM   #45
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I rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

It tastes like more.
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Old 10-20-2004, 07:21 AM   #46
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My wife said if I go hunting one more time, she's gonna leave and take my dog...... I am sure gonna miss that dog!
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Old 10-20-2004, 09:51 AM   #47
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"I misquoted myself"
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Old 10-20-2004, 07:52 PM   #48
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Beer...Vacation in a Can
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Old 10-22-2004, 12:45 PM   #49
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Don't confuse the issue with the facts!

Out of my mind...back in 5 minutes.
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Old 10-22-2004, 02:33 PM   #50
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My wife says I don't pay attention to her...or something like that.
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Old 10-22-2004, 02:48 PM   #51
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"Yesterday I bought powdered water and now I don't know what to add."

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Old 10-22-2004, 05:59 PM   #52
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"I brake for hallucinations" ..............................."live hard, die young, and leave a flat headed corpse" (from a Wings episode with Lowell playing wall stud roulette--1 in 6 chance of hitting your head on a stud when head butting a wall!)
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Old 10-22-2004, 06:09 PM   #53
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'I Feel Much Better Now That I've Given Up Hope'.
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Old 10-22-2004, 06:10 PM   #54
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'I've Given Up On Reality; Now I'm Looking For A Good Fantasy'.
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Old 10-22-2004, 11:49 PM   #55
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"Does the noise in my head bother you?"
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Old 10-23-2004, 11:24 AM   #56
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When arguing with an idiot, make sure that he's not doing the same.
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Old 10-23-2004, 12:43 PM   #57
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"Can I take this street and get to Broadway?"

"I don't care."

Because of my car and 256 others just like it, another damned bus is off the road!
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:05 PM   #58
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You can do anything if you try hard enough...

Right

Thats why you see so many people who can fly
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Old 10-23-2004, 06:07 PM   #59
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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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Old 10-23-2004, 06:49 PM   #60
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"The everything but political board... for now."
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