Columbia River Springer Closure!

Silver Hilton · 03-13-2003, 10:36 AM

ODFW News Release
For Immediate Release
March 13, 2003

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Columbia River and Willamette River sport chinook season to close Saturday, March 15

"This closure required due to impacts of high catch rates by one unknown sportsfisherman.", said Charles Spurious, Department Spokesman. "We only know of this guy through internet reports which we are monitoring, but it is clear that his impacts on the run need to be accounted for. We count on spring salmon fisherman to drive around for days at a time in between fish, and this guy is violating that management assumption. Worse, he appears to be sharing his methods and knowledge, so our past assumptions can't be counted on anymore." Spurious went on to say that this fisherman is known his internet nickname, "Fishnxtc". This one fisherman, apparently without a job or other binding commitments, has singlehandedly exceeded average expected catch rates by 17,000 percent, causing fisheries managers to fear that hatchery return goals will not be met. Because of his supernatural success rate, managers have closed the fishery until enough fish have returned to all upriver Willamette and Columbia River hatcheries to ensure spawning goals are met.

Opening dates in the event of meeting these goals, or when this Fishnxtc is found and seen to be returning to a day job, will be posted on the web site and published in usual media channels.

Anglers are reminded that sport fishing rules may change from those printed in the 2003 Oregon Sport Fishing Regulations. Changes to the printed pamphlet may be found are posted to the ODFW Web site at: http://www.dfw.state.or.us/ODFWhtml/...eg_changes.htm .

[ 03-13-2003, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: Silver Hilton ]

Gus Orviston · 03-13-2003, 10:40 AM

LOL, nice one, ,wish I had thought of that. gus

The Fishing Geek · 03-13-2003, 10:41 AM

Good thing that I bought the blue dress for the Political Floatilla at Nordstrom.

Red · 03-13-2003, 10:44 AM

Whew,

You had me to the Charles Spurious.

:grin: :grin:

skein · 03-13-2003, 10:44 AM

'Tis a sad, sad day for us honest fishermen who diligently wait for weekends to fish, and who dutifully "anchor for hours" between bites, and who have perfected long-distance releases and the art of "crackering."

It only takes a few to shut it down for the masses. Do you have this guy's address? No, I'm not going to attack him, I'm just gonna sit in my truck and listen for the sound of the BBQ firing up.

Thanks for the report and update, SH.

Skein

Small Fry · 03-13-2003, 12:17 PM

This has to be the best one yet.

Maybe we can have an State game officer meet him at the dock some time with cease and desist order.

skrimmy · 03-13-2003, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fishnxtc:
Don't worry the job I'm looking into let's me set my own days and hours .......Chris

Chris, does this mean you just got your guide's license? :grin: :grin:

Manimal · 03-13-2003, 12:24 PM

Good luck with the job interview Chris.

rags · 03-13-2003, 12:29 PM

Whew! You almost made me

This time last year I had at least 10 in the boat and enjoying my time off. Now I haven't even been out yet for Springers and you almost gave me a heart attack. Work can really screw up you fishing!

dawhunt · 03-13-2003, 01:26 PM

Whoa, you got my attention on that one,way to go.
bob :shocked:

Claybear · 03-13-2003, 01:37 PM

:shocked: You really scared me for a minute. Don't do that, my heart can't take it

When it comes to spring salmon there should be a law about jokes like that. :grin:
Thats funny, but don't do it agian.
Good one Jen.

The Fishing Geek · 03-13-2003, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 5-Cents:
The good news for all of you is that Chris is coming in to my office today to look into getting legit and re-entering the workforce!

Hey fishnxtc:

This looks like a good time to remind you that if you are going to be taking any "sick days" in the next few weeks that you should be going to a different "doctor's office" than the one that your boss goes to. Wouldn't want that to happen.

BigBeanCounter · 03-13-2003, 01:46 PM

Silver Hilton · 03-13-2003, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fishnxtc:
Not only do I have to power to move whole hoglines but now this I'm really going to take a beating next time I'm on the water.

It's an awesome power, my son. Use it only for good.

corkycaptain · 03-13-2003, 02:16 PM

ROFL at myself.....I began to read and slowly felt my stomach rise to meet my throat

...now I am laughing :grin: ....good one though [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

ZaQ · 03-13-2003, 02:44 PM

You had me sweating bullets. I just bought a sled and about 40 kwik fish. I was throwing things around here when I saw the topic heading. Thanks for the laugh, Chris, good luck with the job......

Beerbelly · 03-13-2003, 03:02 PM

You got me, good one

KingFisher85 · 03-13-2003, 03:13 PM

haha, had me going there for a min :blush: very funny

03-13-2003, 05:15 PM

Man..............! :shocked:

Guess I did not need them underwear I was wearing anyway. :tongue:

[ 03-13-2003, 06:17 PM: Message edited by: ****** ]

rob allen · 03-13-2003, 05:56 PM

This raises a question i bring up only semi seriously.. Some of us work full time and rarely get a chance to fish. I for instance have literally not yet had an opportunity to fish for springers but i plan to. SOme guys are out there every day racking up fish towards the quota. In such fisheries where there is a quota should we be self limiting?? is it fair that one guy fills his punchcard before another guy even has a chance to get out?

Here is my hairbrained idea off the cuff with no deep thought..

1. no one should be allowed to buy 2 or more harvest cards ever! there is not a person alive that is entitled to more than 30 salmon a year. So i think establiching a yearly limit is a great idea. and of that limit nore more than X% can be of any species of fish. example you can keep 15 fall chinook and 15 spring shinook but not 30 spring chinook..

5-Cents · 03-13-2003, 06:03 PM

Seriously Rob fishing is a privilege and not a right! A privilege by the way that I worked very hard to take advantage of myself. Make the time to get out there. Never was a person that when all was said and done that wished they would have worked more :grin:

HOGTIDE · 03-13-2003, 06:03 PM

Dude..... the first line seriously had me both scared and mad! :shocked:

skein · 03-13-2003, 06:19 PM

So what's his new job going to be, 5-Cents, posing as a centerfold for Fishing and Hunting News? (like some guys...)

I personally don't think you would be a good roll-model as an employer. You guys would be sick too much.

Skein

ONECAST · 03-13-2003, 06:34 PM

GOOD ONE after falling out of my chair laying on the floor grabbing my chest my wife had to finish reading it to me.Now she thinks this is a cool board....

willametteriveroutlaw · 03-13-2003, 06:36 PM

rob,
As far as limiting harvest cards, I give away a lot of hatchery fish to people who need them and friends. I also wouldn't want to be limited, I filled 1.5 cards last year on summer steelhead. I only keep Summers, winters, and springers so I could easily break % barrier. Even if those rules were made, there isn't the enforcement to enforce them anyways.

fishnxtc · 03-13-2003, 06:49 PM

Why do I keep looking out the window [img]graemlins/berry.gif[/img]

[ 03-13-2003, 07:49 PM: Message edited by: fishnxtc ]

Silver Hilton · 03-13-2003, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fishnxtc:
Why do I keep looking out the window [img]graemlins/berry.gif[/img]

Probably because you keep hearing noises.

Steelie · 03-13-2003, 07:59 PM

LOL

We can fix this by finding him a "binding commitment"

crabbait · 03-13-2003, 08:09 PM

Chris - If you need any references just let us know!!

Rob - That shade of green does not look good on you. :grin:

:grin: :tongue:

Hogmaster · 03-13-2003, 08:46 PM

ODFW News Release
For Immediate Release
March 13, 2003

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Columbia River and Willamette River sport chinook season to NOT close Saturday, March 15

"This closure reversal is due to lack of impacts of low catch rates by one known sportsfisherman.", said Charles Spurious, Department Spokesman. "We know of this guy through internet reports which we are monitoring, but it is clear that his impacts on the run need to be accounted for. In fact, they can be totally discounted. We count on spring salmon fisherman to drive around for days at a time in between fish, and this guy is violating that management assumption because he drives around and catches no fish for WEEKS. Worse, he appears to be sharing his unproductive methods and lack of knowledge, so our past assumptions can't be counted on anymore." Spurious went on to say that this fisherman is known his internet nickname, "Silver Hilton". This one fisherman, apparently without other binding commitments, has singlehandedly negatively impacted average expected catch rates by 17,000 percent, causing fisheries managers to fear that hatchery catch goals will not be met. Because of his supernatural lack of success rate, managers have re-opened the fishery until enough fish have returned to all upriver Willamette and Columbia River areas to ensure catch goals are met.

Spurrious also commented that "There is great fear that the seemingly innocent but ineffective tips and reports on the internet may be creating a whole new class of unsuccessful anglers."

This situation is to be monitored closely, as the fisherman that was leading to the planned closure, Mr. X, has suddenly disapeared from the river for at least 24 hours and is reported to be pursuing "other activities". "This could create a serious catch imbalance, and emergency gill net, multiple rod per angler, tags issued in names of non-fishing family members to be held by active anglers and special dip net seasons are all being considered" was a Spurious comment.

Anglers are reminded that sport fishing rules may change from those printed in the 2003 Oregon Sport Fishing Regulations. Changes to the printed pamphlet may be found are posted to the ODFW Web site at: http://www.dfw.state.or.us/ODFWhtml/...eg_changes.htm .

[ 03-14-2003, 05:56 AM: Message edited by: Hogmaster ]

Pirate · 03-13-2003, 10:08 PM

Too Funny........... :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:

Navigator · 03-13-2003, 10:16 PM

Silver - Had me going .....

Jennie@ifish · 03-13-2003, 11:06 PM

I knew I was mad at him for a reason!
The reason is the end of the chinook season!
He's out there all day, just doin what he's pleasin,
and posting pictures for reason of teasin!
Now, if I had a couple of big old fat springers,
I'd not feel so bad but I don't, so they are zingers!
I know who you are talking about, and I'm pointing my finger!
It's you Fishnxtc, that caught too many springers!

jb · 03-13-2003, 11:10 PM

Nicely done Jen.

Cohodependent · 03-13-2003, 11:21 PM

April Fools a bit early!.

Good one!

Slade · 03-13-2003, 11:45 PM

That was quite a scare, my heart dropped. I am new to this board, but it sure seems like a lot of guys are always raining on someone's success. I hope XTC catches more fish and posts more photos because it gives the rest of us incentive to find more and better excuses for getting out there. BTW XTC must not have a wife for as much as he fishes. If he does, then she needs to talk to my wife or my wife needs to console her.

Rocky · 03-13-2003, 11:51 PM

lol, had me whining to the wife when I read the first paragraph. good one

Ron

fishnxtc · 03-13-2003, 11:52 PM

Not only do I have to power to move whole hoglines

but now this I'm really going to take a beating next time I'm on the water. I guess the fish are safe today I have a possible employment appointment to attend to. With this closure we are about to face I better get out there after I'm done. I'll have a good two hours to try and put the hurt on them. Don't worry the job I'm looking into let's me set my own days and hours

.......Chris

[ 03-13-2003, 12:53 PM: Message edited by: fishnxtc ]

5-Cents · 03-13-2003, 11:53 PM

The good news for all of you is that Chris is coming in to my office today to look into getting legit and re-entering the workforce!

Fshklr · 03-13-2003, 11:56 PM

I actually opened the thread and sent the url to 6 friends while cursing at the rule makers. then I read the post.. [img]graemlins/stupid.gif[/img] Very funny Silver Hilton...Keep up the good work XTC..and don't get a day job.

[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

fishnxtc · 03-13-2003, 11:58 PM

Anybody ever notice who is the water almost as much as me :shocked: :shocked: ..................Chris

PS You know you have been on the river to long when it takes less time to rig up 4 rods than it does to tie a tie........

[ 03-13-2003, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: fishnxtc ]

fishncliff · 03-14-2003, 12:38 AM

Okay, heart rate checked out ok.Got right up there to the arobic level,usually achieved when a 30lb springer shows color, but tonite I didn't have to leave my chair.
Good one, you had me going.Too funny. [img]graemlins/stupid.gif[/img]

[img]graemlins/dork.gif[/img]

Silver Hilton · 03-14-2003, 06:13 AM

Ouch, that hurts, Gary. :smile:

I resent the allegation that I never catch any fish. Why, I caught one just last October!

Hogmaster · 03-14-2003, 06:56 AM

:grin:

Well, there is only one Silver Hilton I guess.

Hmmm... maybe the ODFW release was wrong? Maybe it was "Green Butt Skunk"

:grin: :grin: :grin:

snowball · 03-14-2003, 08:07 AM

not sure if i should be mad or happy---
all i can say-- good one--

Dr Strangelove · 03-14-2003, 09:02 AM

[ 03-14-2003, 10:04 AM: Message edited by: Dr Strangelove ]

Dr Strangelove · 03-14-2003, 09:04 AM

About as funny a post title as Guess What?! You have Colon Cancer...Just Kidding.

Please restrain yourself to April Fools or I'm gonna get sued for malpractice for using a scalpel with a tremor. Now I gotta find that Prilosec... Doc

Silver Hilton · 03-14-2003, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hogmaster:
:grin:

Well, there is only one Silver Hilton I guess.

And a good thing, I don't think the world is ready for two.

Predator Dawg · 03-14-2003, 10:13 AM

If you ever fish with SH and he tells you he is going to let you have the good spot on his river and that he will just beat the water up at that point that never produces, know that you have been taken for a ride at that point in time. That Hilton, keep an eye on him.

Silver Hilton · 03-14-2003, 10:19 AM

Yeah, and how many fish did we hook that day? And the following time? Hm-m-m-m...??? The words "steelhead clinic" come to mind.

Stratocaster · 03-14-2003, 01:35 PM

Hey my irregular heartbeat is gone thanks SH. :tongue:

Silver Hilton · 03-14-2003, 07:03 PM

Hogmaster, I was trying to find a picture to prove that I have caught a fish recently, but we'll just have to make do with this ten year old one. :depressed:

Hogmaster · 03-14-2003, 07:15 PM

Ahhh, but the curse of Pilgrimism can strike anyone at any time, my cyberfriend.

You are only as good as your latest report. :grin:

But, OK, the ODFW is not officially tracking Silver Hilton's dismal record so far this spring. But they are hoping that you can stop skewing the creel census!

Now go get one!

Silver Hilton · 03-14-2003, 07:25 PM

Just as I knew I would regret taking the dare to pee on that wire that was held up by those white glass things, I know I will regret this: what pray tell, is the curse of pilgrimnism? If I have that spelling correct?

Hogmaster · 03-14-2003, 07:46 PM

SH -

Bill Monroe has written about a friend, AKA, Pilgrim, for many years.

But here is my personal experience with the phenomenon:

How Formerly got his name...

Silver Hilton · 03-14-2003, 07:54 PM

Ah, got it. Not familiar with the condition, but there is thunder in the west right now...

Predator Dawg · 03-14-2003, 11:52 PM

Indeed, we were able to do well, followed by a nice little 'Chum' clinic I might add.

FYI, I have a sleeper Springer fishery to take you to in May. Remind me next time we talk.

SJ

parthur · 03-15-2003, 07:37 AM

Classic