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Old 11-02-2011, 12:21 PM   #1
STRUTTIN-1
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Default Calm before another storm???? Updated

Last week for the first time in 4 yrs.I was able to go back to the sacred grounds of east oregon.I was going to bag on the trip.But my freind would hear non of that.
My wife if you do not know has had 7 anurissms and 2 strokes.You can read the story from one of my first threads.Though I dont like pouring my heart out on the net.I will again.
For the first time in I do not how many years my stomach relaxed.My jaws were not tenced.My brain was FREE of clutter.I could hear,smell and see again.All sences running on over time.I felt free of worries.Calming warm feelings flooded my body mind and soul.This was going to be a turning point so I could get back on track myself.Amazingly cold.I really felt not the weather but what I thought was THE Truth.Digging deeper into myself.The last 6 years have been an emotional nightmare.Reluctant to admitt my fears.Cant lie to myself and more important God.

Fear!!!
Lack of knowledge?????? Loss of controll.Was all over come.For a week the numbness that dominates my body and mind was gone.The pain of my back and legs were still there.But the only thing I can think is I was able to deal with it through the grace of God. Time slowed down.The intensity of my day to day life seemed nill.The wind seem to blow any neg thoughts away.Or at least put them at bay.What a relief.Maybe the ice cold winds were a reality check.Slaped with a reality of the land and eliments demanded my attention.Allowing me to really consintrate on what I really have wanted to talk to God about.No beating around the bush.selfishly I prayed for me.I have not done this for ages.I pray for guidence,others are priority.This time it was ME.Where to go.Next move.How can I over come my back problems that squeeze me into submission when I move walk or sit.Most important!!!!! How can I over come my physical problems so I can get a job and Get my wife back home with me.I dont even have a home to bring her to.She really needs what I can give.I can help where professionals lack.The lord is my banket,blessed with Karen she provides my heat.Even the sound of her voice.Or the blue eyes that go so deep into me that it states a fire inside.After 27 yrs she is still my wife.
Today I recieved the news Kare has a very high chance of Female cancer.Test results are still not in.A women of normal physical conditions fare well if indeed it is cancer.Infections are one of Karens biggest down falls.Her physical decline makes her very high risk.

I am shaking,all tensed up and emotionaly the water flows from my eyes again.Almost blinding me.Things are distorted again.


I question my strenth both physicaly and mental.
Dare I be selfish and pray for me again???????
It is her that needs prayers.But how can I with Gods will take care of her if I am not right????

It has been brought up by some including social security that I get a divorse.She would become property of the state.I would have no say of her care.She has astonished the medical feild.They know of no one that has survided what she has been through.I have been comended for her care and as a consiquence have lost my home and other materiel objects.
Move on with your life.Freinds remind me quite often.Waht is moving on?Our vows said through good and bad.Till death do us part.
I am a lucky one.I was blessed with something most will never find.It is diffrent now.But am I living on a prayer??
I said forever.She said forever.
Prayers for better times.Karens health.Allow me to do what I promised.
Sorry for any missed spelled words.

Power of prayer from ifishers are requested.Again.


Bless you and yours.
Gods will have mercy on all.

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Last edited by STRUTTIN-1; 11-10-2011 at 10:59 AM.
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Old 11-02-2011, 12:39 PM   #2
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Default Re: Calm before another storm????

I will pray. Don't hesitate to pray for yourself either. God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:00 PM   #3
Grantspastor
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Default Re: Calm before another storm????

You have my prayers!
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:11 PM   #4
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Old 11-02-2011, 02:05 PM   #5
Reel Busy
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Prayers for you and your wife
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Old 11-02-2011, 03:10 PM   #6
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sending prayers from our family
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Old 11-02-2011, 07:35 PM   #7
Don Becker
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Default Re: Calm before another storm????

'Also praying for you and Karen. He will help you make the right decisions. And, certainly, pray for yourself and for the strength you need! Best wishes! Don
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Old 11-03-2011, 07:15 PM   #8
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Praying
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:56 AM   #9
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Default Re: Calm before another storm????

Strutten, You and Karen are in my prayers
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:38 PM   #10
HntnFsh
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Default Re: Calm before another storm????

I will be praying for you and Karen.

And yes it is ok to pray for yourself.
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Old 11-08-2011, 04:58 PM   #11
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Default Re: Calm before another storm????

I am praying, just as you should, for you and your wife It is way to easy to focus our prayers on others, but God wants to help us with our struggles as well.
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Old 11-09-2011, 09:48 AM   #12
STRUTTIN-1
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Default Re: Calm before another storm????

Appears Karens dr is out for 2 weeks.Results got mailed to diffrent address.Now cant find out who is covering for this case....


Stay Calm...
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Old 11-18-2011, 09:23 AM   #13
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Default Re: Calm before another storm???? Updated

No apperent cancer.
Has something to do with brain injury???
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Old 11-18-2011, 09:31 AM   #14
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Default Re: Calm before another storm???? Updated

Quote:
Originally Posted by STRUTTIN-1 View Post
No apperent cancer.
Has something to do with brain injury???

Glad there is No Cancer. Praying for Recoverywith Brain injury
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