Fishing Jokes

24 on/ 48 off · 12-11-2002, 03:06 PM

OK, I'll post an old classic:

It seems this guy shows up at this tackle and bait shop at a remote lake in Wisconsin. The guy walks into the store and tells the owner that he is from Georgia and wants to fish the lake.

The owner rents him a boat and gives the guy some bad news: Fishing ain't been too good recently. The Georgian says he isn't worried- heck he didn't drive all this way not to fish! So he takes off for a day on the lake.

A few hours later, he returns and shows the bait shop owner a stringer full of fish! The owner is amazed!

The guy returns the next day, rents a boat and does the same thing- numerous fish while nobody else has done much of anything.

Soon the word gets out and the next day, the local Sheriff shows up to meet the stranger.

"Mind if I go fishing with ya?" the sheriff asks him.

The guy shrugs and invites the sheriff into the boat. They take off onto the lake and after about 20 minutes, the guy stops the motor. He reaches into a bag under his seat and removes a stick of dynamite. To the sheriffs amazement, he lights the fuse and chucks it overboard. There is a tremendous BOOM and several fish float to the surface. The guy grabs a net, scoops up the fish and throws them into the boat.

After the sheriff regains his composure, he takes a deep breath and states, "Boy, I don't know what the laws are in Georgia, but here in Wisconsin, it is illegal to fish with dynamite!"

The stranger eyes the sheriff for a moment, reaches under the seat, grabs a stick of dynamite, lights it and throws it into the sheriff's lap.

He then looks at the sheriff and states:

"BOY, are you gonna talk, or are you gonna fish?"

--spud-- :smile:

KingFisher85 · 12-11-2002, 03:24 PM

Fishing For a Sale

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"

"One," said the young salesman.

"Only one?" blurted the boss, "most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"

"Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast.

I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"

"No," answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing.'"
:grin:

Alaskan Drunk Goes Fishing

A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice.
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, and a loud booming voice says, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THAT ICE!"
The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice repeats, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The drunk looks up and says, "God? Is this God trying to warn me?"
The voice says "NO, I'M THE MANAGER OF THIS ICE RINK."
:grin:

A Fisherman's Tale

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
:grin:
I might be able to find some more.

spraguee · 12-11-2002, 11:10 PM

Hey everyone, I was out fishing with some buds last weekend and we decided we needed some good fishing jokes. We didnt know any. Any one out there have any good fishing jokes to keep us laughing out on the river?

Hogmaster · 12-11-2002, 11:13 PM

Go to the "Life in General" board. There are many out there...

skein · 12-11-2002, 11:29 PM

Just tell 'em about the black ducks on the Sandy, or the net that got away, or fishing in the winter, or... any of a hunnerd tales from the Impeller Man. :grin: :grin: :grin:

You know, Hog, I tried some of those black rocks for decoys, but they were really heavy to carry and they sink. I guess they work better in shallow water. :shocked:

Skein