please pray for me and my wife

chinookin · 08-22-2010, 06:32 AM

I find myself not questioning my faith, but my existance. most of the people that visit the chapel know our situation. If not, please look at please pray for my wife. The latest blood tests came back yesterday and the doctor decided to again hospitalize her overnight for more iv steroids and observation. I am not the best Christian, but I believe, and lately am angry. angry at our situation, her condition, the fact that if i belted in before my accident I would be making over $30.00 an hour by now. Instead I find myself waiting to go back to school to learn a new profession. X-Ray tech. It will take me 3 years instead of the two it should. Suppose I should have kept up with math and english. but lately I have become angry, and I am sure it shows on some of my posts. I have felt compelled to appologize to quite a few people for my rants. I am not sure what is going on in MY life. I had a great break for a day. I got to go fishing with fastaction, I caught 3 summer run steelies, one nate that had to go back. But all and all I temporarily blew things off and had a great day. when I got back home, it seem that everything has fallen apart. I am not the person I used to be and am angry most of the time. This takes too much energy, so much that I realize I am hurting more, being less understanding, listless, tired, and tired of my life. Not being married, I don't think I would last very long if anything were to happen to Lori. I am now taking thing out on her, my parents who are both very sick, terminally unfortunately, and no matter how often or how much I pray, nothing is seeming to help. I feel like Job probably did, but unfortunately don't have the strength he did. I don't know what to do and scarily don't know how to act any more evidently. I don't know if things will change when school starts and I can actually feel like I am doing something positive to help our future, or if it will even matter; monitarily of course it will. In my heart is the damage done? Is this how I will be from now on? I don't know and would like to think not, but my feelings and actions have started to feel like the norm. I don't really remember the last time we had a good heartfelt gut wrenching laugh, wich is one of the things that brought us together in the first place. We just recently had our 14th wedding anniversery, and 21 years together is coming up fast. Both of us have been questioning wheather or not we should continue, I have never told this to anyone......ever. It is a strange new feeling that I don't like, but cant seem to shake. I surely don't want to be a statistic like so many other couples that go thru great tribulations, but deep down, I feel we are on that road, I need to find the road LESS traveled and find myself without a road map. I know that prayers are listened to and acted upon, but why is my and my wifes problems not even lestening? God is supposedly not giving more then you can take, but I don't have it in me to last as long as JOB did. I am physically, mentally, and spiritually tired. Just if your hear speaks to you please pray for us, put us on a prayer chain, or whatever you can do. I am no longer the me I used to be, and my wife is the sickest she has ever been. I seem to be lost. Help find me please. Mike

letsfish · 08-22-2010, 07:28 AM

Mike, you know I am praying for you and Lori. Your honest heart felt posts makes praying for you a priority. Endure, in His strength.
Jim

Don Becker · 08-22-2010, 04:26 PM

and very best wishes for both of you. Don

shinnookums · 08-22-2010, 05:25 PM

I will pray too. It sounds like despite everything you're going through you still have your priorities in line and your heart in the right place. God bless both of you.

Tick Camper · 08-22-2010, 06:15 PM

May your faith, friends and family help you through this time of need.
I pray for you and Lori.

cubsfan · 08-22-2010, 06:22 PM

Hang in there, no matter how hard. I've been down too, and the light will shine again. I am sorry for your situation. NEVER GIVE UP!! Your honest post will reach more than you'll imagine.

merrile · 08-22-2010, 08:50 PM

keep your faith Brother and endure to the end seeking guidence and spritual comfort from above thats all you can do its trust your father in heaven will make it right with you.

Grantspastor · 08-23-2010, 07:00 AM

You're in a hard situation. I'll join in and pray too

CGRFish · 08-23-2010, 12:18 PM

gonfishenagin · 08-24-2010, 08:52 AM

fishhead69 · 08-24-2010, 04:59 PM

Prayer Said!

DAB · 08-29-2010, 05:55 AM

Mike.

Find a place that you can be by yourself and no chance of being interrupted where you can let it all hang out and use your post as a prayer to the Lord.

I have never been in the place you are but when I feel at my wits end I find a place and let it all hang out in front of God as I pray. Helps to get it off my chest.

I am praying for Lori and you.

DAB

Poindexter · 08-29-2010, 04:34 PM

Prayers sent . . .

STRUTTIN-1 · 08-30-2010, 02:28 PM

fergy61 · 09-07-2010, 08:11 PM

Prayers said.

I know it's a lot easier said than done but let Christ carry your burden. He will if you just let him. Don't worry. Put your trust in Him.

Dale Gocken · 09-10-2011, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinookin

I find myself not questioning my faith, but my existance. most of the people that visit the chapel know our situation. If not, please look at please pray for my wife. The latest blood tests came back yesterday and the doctor decided to again hospitalize her overnight for more iv steroids and observation. I am not the best Christian, but I believe, and lately am angry. angry at our situation, her condition, the fact that if i belted in before my accident I would be making over $30.00 an hour by now. Instead I find myself waiting to go back to school to learn a new profession. X-Ray tech. It will take me 3 years instead of the two it should. Suppose I should have kept up with math and english. but lately I have become angry, and I am sure it shows on some of my posts. I have felt compelled to appologize to quite a few people for my rants. I am not sure what is going on in MY life. I had a great break for a day. I got to go fishing with fastaction, I caught 3 summer run steelies, one nate that had to go back. But all and all I temporarily blew things off and had a great day. when I got back home, it seem that everything has fallen apart. I am not the person I used to be and am angry most of the time. This takes too much energy, so much that I realize I am hurting more, being less understanding, listless, tired, and tired of my life. Not being married, I don't think I would last very long if anything were to happen to Lori. I am now taking thing out on her, my parents who are both very sick, terminally unfortunately, and no matter how often or how much I pray, nothing is seeming to help. I feel like Job probably did, but unfortunately don't have the strength he did. I don't know what to do and scarily don't know how to act any more evidently. I don't know if things will change when school starts and I can actually feel like I am doing something positive to help our future, or if it will even matter; monitarily of course it will. In my heart is the damage done? Is this how I will be from now on? I don't know and would like to think not, but my feelings and actions have started to feel like the norm. I don't really remember the last time we had a good heartfelt gut wrenching laugh, wich is one of the things that brought us together in the first place. We just recently had our 14th wedding anniversery, and 21 years together is coming up fast. Both of us have been questioning wheather or not we should continue, I have never told this to anyone......ever. It is a strange new feeling that I don't like, but cant seem to shake. I surely don't want to be a statistic like so many other couples that go thru great tribulations, but deep down, I feel we are on that road, I need to find the road LESS traveled and find myself without a road map. I know that prayers are listened to and acted upon, but why is my and my wifes problems not even lestening? God is supposedly not giving more then you can take, but I don't have it in me to last as long as JOB did. I am physically, mentally, and spiritually tired. Just if your hear speaks to you please pray for us, put us on a prayer chain, or whatever you can do. I am no longer the me I used to be, and my wife is the sickest she has ever been. I seem to be lost. Help find me please. Mike

Mike, please do me a great favor. I KNOW your feelings, been there,done that, hang on to a bible, you don,t have to read it ,just have it withyou. Find a quiet place where you feel relaxed. Strech out and believe good is going to take place.Carry it with you if you want to,try to believe what is in side. I am an old man,Mike,i still believe in prayer. We will pray for you... Dale & Marilou Gocken

leftym4 · 09-11-2011, 12:37 PM

A good friend of mine sent these verses when i was going through a deep valley and i thought i was not going to see light again. My dad passed away of lung cancer which was bad enough , i was executor of a messed up estate i was working on my dads house almost every weekend and he lived almost a hour away coupled with a really bad attorney really bad contractor who messed up the sale of my Dads house then my My wife got breast cancer all in 1 year it was a daily battle full of stress and anger and depression it would take several pages to tell the whole story of how messed up it was .

psalm 46:1-3
psalm 34:17-19
psalm 46:1-3
psalm 91
*Isaiah 40:28-31
*Isaiah 41:10
*Isaiah 43:2-3
Matthew 11:28-30
Matthew 7:24-25
Romans 8:28-39
John 16:33
Ephesians 6:10-17
Philippians 4:4-6

matt 7:24-25, when the storms of life come, the house that is built on the word of God will stand.
Draw close to him and he will draw close to you. Seek refuge under his wings.

I will say at first i was like you angry really angry for almost a year and the anger only made it worse when we found out my wife had cancer it broke me, only when i humbled myself and started seeking Jesus that it started to get bet better and it did.

I'll be praying for you and your wife.

STRUTTIN-1 · 09-12-2011, 09:32 AM

I too am in a situation.Not yours but simular.It has been gut wrenching.All emotions seem amplified.
It is ok to be angry.God can handle it.I have questioned my plate being full as well.I quite reading the bible.My faith suffered.I really do not know what to pray for any more.But I keep praying.For through the anger,I still turn to him.I have taken christ as my savior.That will not change.In essence I have no one else.I am ok with this now.
But reading about other people in pain,afflicted with cancers and such needless killings.I still am if not more compashionet. These lessons will serve us well.
I question who I am.This scares me.Watching this TEARS ME APART.
I am praying for you to open your heart.Alollow all the anger to escape.Anger tears you down.Robs from your soul.I pray you can let it go.Give it to GBBod.Very very hard.But when you really honestly do.You then will become free again.
This is an on going battle.
Keep the faith,for now you and yours are being testsed.
God is always there.
Peace be with you.

fishnhuntnfool · 09-12-2011, 12:28 PM

Even when we don't feel like it, we DO have the strength available to us that Job exemplified through Christ.... Phillipians 4:13 gives us that promise:

13 I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

and

Phillipians 4:19

19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Prayers sent for you and your family. May you be blessed through these rough and painful times and find the strength to make it through.

A recommendation for your situation with you and your wife; check out the book "The Love Dare" which is a collection of Biblically based things to do for your spouse throughout the course of 40 days. Don't let her know you are doing it, just do it, and continue through it even if she doesn't recognize the actions. After the 40 days you will see a change in both of you. Can be a lot of fun!

Bill Rogue V. · 09-13-2011, 08:36 AM

Chinookin:
I've been deep in the valley of the shadow of death, filled with turmoil and anger and sadness and anguish. I thank the Lord I didn't put an end to things. In His mercy, He let me stumble out of that valley to a brighter place. Do talk with a medical professional to see if clinical depression or other issues could be compounding the toxic spot you are in. I'm not too proud to say the right antidepressant has made a huge difference in my life -- just as insulin can let a diabetic lead a normal life.
Prayer up from an Ifish friend.

reelwomenfish · 09-13-2011, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fishnhuntnfool

A recommendation for your situation with you and your wife; check out the book "The Love Dare" which is a collection of Biblically based things to do for your spouse throughout the course of 40 days. Don't let her know you are doing it, just do it, and continue through it even if she doesn't recognize the actions. After the 40 days you will see a change in both of you. Can be a lot of fun!

This is a great book that changed my life. Mike, I don't know you and Lori, but have sent my prayers for both of you. You are here, asking for help. We hear you, and so does God. Keep up your faith and know that you and Lori WILL get through this.

ibfishin2 · 09-20-2011, 06:20 PM

Dear Mike

I am 57 years old, 25 years ago I was a drunk, going through a divorce, about to lose my job, home and family. Both my parents had passed away the year before.

I got sober and while going through recovery was told one thing that has stuck with me to this day.

God doesn't give us any more then we can handle.

All the comments I have seen are great advice and I know God will be there if you seek him out.

Reel Busy · 09-21-2011, 08:05 AM

Prayers

sandyslayer420 · 09-30-2011, 11:35 AM

prays are out to you both

Duckwheat · 09-30-2011, 12:11 PM

I am sending you a PM. All the things you are feeling are completely normal given the situation. Cut youself some slack and get some help.

DW

blueduck · 09-30-2011, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duckwheat

I am sending you a PM. All the things you are feeling are completely normal given the situation. Cut youself some slack and get some help.

DW

Ya know, I just have to ditto that. Every emotion you have popping out is absolutely normal for where you are at right now. If you felt any other way it wouldn't fit at all. When it's like that try to smile a little and have faith that the answers are in the works and the patience is the tough part. One foot in front of the other, after the other, and I guarantee the strength comes from somewhere. You are in a process and absolutely no one can tell you where it goes and how long, but the answers will come. Peace will come. I've been there and about the only thing I could see was "all this pain can't possibly be all there is to all this life business" ....... and it wasn't........and it isn't for you either. Sometimes when one thing after another just keeps coming and it's one absurd challenge after another you just need to laugh through the tears and tell it to bring it on. You have a lot of strength left.....don't kid yourself. One thing for sure....you are not alone.....there's been a lot of challenges for a lot of people and everyone will attest that you will prevail.

elkhunter338 · 10-01-2011, 08:15 AM

Chinookin,
I an new to ifish and Last night I just read most of your postings and I feel for you and said a Prayer. Please stay strong in the LORD and lean on him. May your faith grow out of these trials. The LORD is helping you through them. Those of us who believe and trust in our LORD Jesus Christ have great comfort knowing Jesus Christ is there for us.
God uses trials for his Glory and we may not even know why but God does. God gives us examples in the bible where a person or family goes through a trial and several generations later you can see a great outcome from that trial. One that comes to mind is Ruth and her mother in-law, both lost their husbands and returned to their homeland, Ruth remarried and had a son I believe the great great grandfather of King David.

Do you have a church family to lean on and help you out?
If not I am sure my pastor would be willing to answer any question and talk to you if you want.
I see you live in Redmond, I go to church at Central Oregon Baptist Church in Bend. You are welcome to come anytime.
We are a small conservative group of Christians who seek to adhere to Gods Word.
I pray you have a good day. I find what has helped me out is some of the radio programs on KNLR, 6:30-8:30 in the morning.