Ouch! ... Bad day at work

[Pilar]

Pilar
Ifish Forum Guide
Member # 270

posted 03-26-2002 03:01 PM
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Anybody who dives or hangs out with divers quickly learns that these guys have a crude way of looking at things and a crusty sense of humor.

A friend E-mailed this to me and I took the liberty of editing all the bad words out of it. Use your imagination and get the full flavor of the original story.

Your job is easy and you are stealing the money .. trust me.

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Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his
sister. She then sent it to Laugh line, who was sponsoring a worst job
experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies
at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece
of junk sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a pretty good plan, and
I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up
a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on
my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my crack. I
informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other
divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
dive.
I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my
brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I get in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't crap for 2 days because my
******** was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

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That poor guy!

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The bend is your friend!

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