New user rules

[Jennie@ifish]

Because of what I have been through in the last 24 hours, we have initiated a new
registration process, and some new user rules.
It will include, but not be limited to:
Credit applications, cyber-maxillofacial-mapping, and retinal scans.
There is $100.00 security/cleaning deposit that will be forfeited when
(and everyone will be, at least once) you are banned from use.
Banning could happen for any reason or no reason at all, depending on my
mood. Look out!
Every post will now cost you $10.00 and be deducted from the bank of choice.
There will be a $15.00 charge for stupid posts.
A $2.00 surcharge will be imposed for "Yeah, but I agree, or Hey! I don't
agree!"
Pictures loaded on the Ifish site will cost $25.00 each, unless you can't
figure it out and write to me. Then a $50.00 per hour tutoring fee applies.
Pictures linked to other sites are $1.00, unless the other site is really
slow or requires a password, in which case they will be charged $50.00.
Lost passwords will cost $7.00, but if you ask for it before it has been
issued you will be charged $8.00 and the password will not be issued for a
week.
If you misspell Buoy, you will be charged $2000.00, but we will set up an
EZ pay plan.
Use of all caps will be charged $0.50 per letter. If you don't pay it
immediately, I will call and yell the entire post into your ear.
Statements offensive to others will cost $5.00 unless the offended party
agrees to accept an apology, in which case the fee is only $2.00. If not
the moderators have to help solve the problem, a $100.00 fee will be charged.
Angry posts could be deleted. Of course, any post could be deleted. You
just never know.
Off color, racist and sexually explicit statements will be evaluated on a
case by case basis ... I know pornography when I see it.
You may only have 27 monikers on ifish.net. All others will be
banned. However, multiple monikers will be revealed at inopportune
and embarrassing moments.
Some people are welcome, but we'll tolerate a lot of other people, too.
Thank you for being a part of ifish.net
Admin

[STGRule]

You are a tired, tired, women. Have a cuppa hot chocolate, curl up with the dog, and take a DEEP (not yelling) breath. Let it out slowly and smile at the dog. You'll feel better, I promise.

[Jennie@ifish]

[Jennie@ifish]

... you are right, STG, I am.
But I didn't get one joke or prank in today, and I just had too!
So, with that, dear people, I bid you good night.
Nothing like a good BLT for dinner!
Please, if you find broken images, links, etc.
E mail me here.
captain@ifish.net
It'll help me get my act... I mean, site together.
Thanks,

[Doc Spratley]

Jennie, I agree with STGRule. Or, better yet, go fishing tomorrow. You need to go worse than I do.

[STGRule]

And here I thought it was shear exhaustion.

[Pitch Pocket]

Jen,

Definitely your best post ever! I laughed the whole time I read it.

Steve

[Snapshot]

Jennie, where do you come up with all the great ideas? Perhaps to much sunshine this week? Enjoyed the humor, it makes a tough day easier. Being creative is an art. And I have been told I am artless, or something like that. :whazzup:

*Fish only bite wet hooks*

[dawhunt]

Jennie you need a fish !!!!!Take a break you deserve it.
Bob :whazzup:

[Pilar]

Thanks Jen for all you do!

[smilesforu]

classic :smile:

[live to fish]

Thanks jen for all your hard work. :tongue:

[Jennie@ifish]

Tee Hee! I can't believe I had the guts to post that last night!
Jen