Oregon and Washington come in first!
The dumbest human contest
1st RUNNER-UP
Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an
Oregon man shot through the skull by a
hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be
released soon from the hospital. Tony
Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an
initiation into a men's rafting club,
Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid
Mountain Men Anonymous)
in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a
beer can off his head, but the arrow
entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had
the arrow gone 1 millimetre to the
left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and
Roberts would have died instantly.
Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the University
Hospital in Portland said the
arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the
tip protruding at the rear of his
skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood
vessels. Delashaw also said that
had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he
surely would have killed himself.
Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends
had been drinking that afternoon.
Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb
about this."
No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County
district attorney's office said the
initiation stunt is under
investigation.
Now THIS YEAR'S WINNER.
(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late)
Sal Hawkins, of the great state of
Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica
concert at the George Washington
amphitheatre. Having no tickets (but having had 18
beers between them), they thought
it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and
sneak into the show. They pulled
their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan
was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100
pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence
and then assist his friend over.
Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky,
there was a 30-foot drop on
the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself
over, he found himself crashing
through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and
broken, along with his arm) by a large
branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from
the tree with a broken arm, he
looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly
figuring the bushes would
break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and
proceeded to cut away his shorts to free
himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr.
Pernicky crashed into holly bushes.
The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now,
without the protection of his
shorts, a holly branch penetrated his ******. To
make matters worse, on landing, his
pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Mr. Hawkins,
seeing his friend in considerable pain
and agony, threw him a rope and attempted to pull him
to safety by tying the rope to the
pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in
his drunken haste/state, he put the
truck into reverse and crashed through the fence
landing on his friend and killing him.
Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its
driver thrown 100 feet from the truck
and dead at the scene from massive internal
injuries. Upon moving
the truck, they found John under it half-naked,
scratches on his body, a holly stick in his
******, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling
from a tree branch 25-feet in the air.
Congratulations gentlemen! You've made the world
a safer, smarter place!!
__________________
'01 Chevy 2500HD Crewcab Duramax/Allison,never hunt ducks, fish or shoot clays, or golf...... enough
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