Wife Training

nitroduk · 01-09-2004, 02:36 PM

hey there guys, i have not been married long, less than a year, and i need help with how to explain to my wife why i need such an assortment of tackle, i'm not trying to sneak stuff by her or anything, she just thinks i have enough. but somebody should agree that you have to keep trying new stuff out, salmon and steelies don't like all the same stuff!! please help.... [img]graemlins/1zhelp.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/1zhelp.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/1zhelp.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/1zhelp.gif[/img]

[ 01-09-2004, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: nitroduk ]

Mad Mikey · 01-09-2004, 02:38 PM

Just ask her why she needs all those clothes/shoes etc. Or something along those lines....

WaterDog · 01-09-2004, 03:02 PM

Do you want a real answer or the sugar coated one?

freespool · 01-09-2004, 03:07 PM

Keep everything in the garage and don't use plastic when you buy tackle. What she doesn't know won't hurt her.

salmon hugger

Grantspastor · 01-09-2004, 03:07 PM

It's a long shot, but you could try explaining that the same ability you have to appreciate fine fishing equipment is what caused you to appreciate the wonderful treasure she is.

STGRule · 01-09-2004, 03:08 PM

Its easy. You both need an "allowance" for the month. You can spend it on whatever you want. She can spend hers on whatever she wants. If you need a lot of money for something just save your allowance.

ampersat · 01-09-2004, 03:23 PM

Yeah, do the allowance thing and make sure you get as much money as she gets. Her perfume, makeup, shoes, etc. adds up real quick. If you're frugal with your allowance, you'll be sitting pretty in a brand new Alumaweld pretty soon.

skrimmy · 01-09-2004, 03:37 PM

Ampersat - Good one!

Nitro, get used to it, we all hear it! Just tell her it's like having golf clubs. Just as golfers need different clubs for different terrains and shots, so do we! You can't go after summer steelies with a sturgeon rod, can you? :grin:

Silver Hilton · 01-09-2004, 03:54 PM

For one brutal year, I tracked the family expenses, all of them, using Quicken. We have always had hers, mine, and ours checking accounts, so peeking into the checking activity was a bit eye-opening. We found that she spent about as much on her hair and similar stuff as I did on fishing. Neither of us was happy knowing that, so we quit tracking it.

Seriously, I would have a glass of wine together and say something like, "Honey, we need to trust each other to not spend more than we have. If we don't have enough money, it's not because of this rod or that new sweater you bought, so let's not watch each other's purchases, let's watch whether we're meeting our financial goals. I don't need this rod anymore than you need that pair of shoes. But I want it, and you, woman, will submit to my masculine will. Now. "

The police and the ambulance will then come and remove your corpse, and the fighting will be over.

I know, I'm not much help.

[ 01-09-2004, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: Silver Hilton ]

FishinMission · 01-09-2004, 04:13 PM

Take her fishing..and give her the lure that doesn't catch fish. Let her sit there and watch you catch fish on the only lure you have that works. Then she'll want one. Of course you have to explain that you'll also need a couple more in case you lose one... :shocked:

Then...

Repeat with other good lures.

Next thing you know..your tackle box is full!

This works...trust me. :grin:

Mark

Chromaflage · 01-09-2004, 04:23 PM

Well, not that this is the way I operate, or that I advocate it, but.....I was buying a guitar one day and I had commented to the salesman that I would probably catch it from the wife when I got home....his reply was..."buddy, there's front door gear and there's back door gear...it's up to you to know the difference."

Realistically, she may never understand why you need 400 lures, 4 different boats, 18 different rods - for yourself, then all those guest rods, 6 tackle boxes, 4 vests, etc., etc., etc.....I've been married for 11 years now and she still doesn't get it - she's just learned to tolerate it. I just make sure that she has all the bling-blings she needs, a cozy home and all the other mushy stuff that women require. :grin:

Good luck, my brother....

(Oh, and what's posted on iFish stays on iFish, right?)

ORS

[ 01-09-2004, 05:25 PM: Message edited by: OregonRedside ]

Mad Mikey · 01-09-2004, 04:31 PM

>>>give her the lure that doesn't catch fish. <<<

Yeah right Mark. We all know how well THAT works.
The lure she gets will be the one that skunks the boat.
On the way home you will have to listen to her saying stuff like "See? I caught all those Springers on that rusty little cute thing you gave me. By the way, Where are YOUR fish???"

:grin: :tongue:

Dipnet · 01-09-2004, 04:41 PM

From a woman's perspective: I used to wonder why my husband needed so much tackle and gear, then he got me to feel the difference between a good trout rod and a cheapie. Then he got me into my first salmon!! From there it has escalated into me being the one to think we need new rods, reels, tackle etc. And I have been known to come home with an assortment of kwik fish or whatever without him even asking!!!!!

Or if that doesn't work, keep it out of sight for awhile and when she asks you how long you've had that particular item, you just say oh, for a couple of months. Didn't I tell you???? Works for me

.

Dipnet :grin:

Chromaflage · 01-09-2004, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dipnet:
Or if that doesn't work, keep it out of sight for awhile and when she asks you how long you've had that particular item, you just say oh, for a couple of months. Didn't I tell you???? Works for me .

Dipnet :grin:

Tackle or shoes? :grin:

salmurai · 01-09-2004, 06:08 PM

I've been married to the same one for 29 years and she STILL doesn't understand. I just try and keep her happy and she just doesn't ask anymore. She justs rolls her eyes, shakes her head and goes back to the house.......

happybrew · 01-09-2004, 06:41 PM

Tell her it's part of the grocery budget. If you want to eat REALLY fresh fish, that's what it takes to get it, so it's not really a frivolous expense.

happybrew

Dipnet · 01-09-2004, 06:47 PM

ORS, whatever

!! I can tell you truthfully, I'd rather spend money on tackle and fishing stuff than clothes or shoes any day!!! :shocked:

Dipnet :grin:

[ 01-09-2004, 07:50 PM: Message edited by: Dipnet ]

nitroduk · 01-09-2004, 07:02 PM

hey dipnet, could i maybe get you and my wife together for a talk

?

01-09-2004, 07:07 PM

Don't wants non of dem "Trained Weomens" I liks min wild.

Thumper · 01-09-2004, 07:08 PM

Oh golly, I am SO GLAD I am single. [img]graemlins/icon_argue.gif[/img]

nitroduk · 01-09-2004, 07:17 PM

keta, preach it brother, amen!!

ibnfshn · 01-09-2004, 07:25 PM

The answer is easy, take her fishing with you and make her a part of your addiction.

ibnfshn · 01-09-2004, 07:27 PM

HB, what do they say?

Safeway $4.99 per LB
Fisherman's fish $80.00 per lb

nitroduk · 01-09-2004, 07:33 PM

would love her to go with me fishing, but she swears it's too cold. i already have one buddy that whines about the temp, not sure how to handle two....

E2 · 01-09-2004, 07:39 PM

Grantspastor you know how to tame a wild weomans-properly, sigh----take heed fellow fishers---also Keta, thanks for acknowledging the value of free women; there are free and wild women who love to fish---me too, dipnet. E2

WheresMyBobber · 01-09-2004, 07:53 PM

I couldn't disagree more with the allowance theory. IMO you need to agree as a couple on what you want and need as a couple/family, and plan/spend to meet those goals. "My budget, your budget" is for the birds. You get married to become two as one. This is only my opinion. :smile:

skein · 01-09-2004, 08:13 PM

Dipnet is ABSOLUTELY right!!!

When I started teaching my wife to fish, I got her the best equipment we could afford - easily as good as mine. She got good clothing too, so she wouldn't be cold or miserable. I always treated her as my friend, not "some woman" I had to drag along. I worked hard to get her into fish. I never made her feel dumb or inept or clumsy. I went with HER, and made her understand that SHE was my favorite "buddy" out there. And I taught her to row the driftboat and run the jetboat, and on the third or fourth trip over the bar in our new boat, she was the one who piloted it home - and it was sloppy that day. WE go fishing, and hunting, and camping TOGETHER.

BTW, she bought me my last tackle box (knew exactly what WE needed) and bumped me in the ribs and reminded me we were a little low on coyote spoons.

I'm a lucky man, yes, but I am also reaping what I have sown. [img]graemlins/hearton.gif[/img]

Skein

KingCap · 01-09-2004, 08:24 PM

Hey there Nitroduk, Just tell her to look in the marriage contract under the really fineeeeeeee print

fortywinks · 01-09-2004, 08:36 PM

Dipnet, Skein, you guys got it! My wife rarely let's me go to Fisherman's, or Englands, by myself....heck no.....she wants to go too. "Do we need this"? ... "Better get some of these"! :grin:

She's almost as addicted as me.

STGRule · 01-09-2004, 08:50 PM

WheresMyBobber, It's worked pretty well for me for 31 years. You START with a budget and what you can afford, and expenses. Then you decide what goes for savings and "our" stuff. Then you we get an "anything you want to do with it" allowance. It doesn't count against "us" stuff. We can use it for us, me, or you; in fact, saving for a cool thing we both want is good. The "I don't have to explain, share, or even let you know about it" stuff makes it so we have nothing to argue about. It keeps a little "me" in with a lot of "us".

Mikeymoto · 01-09-2004, 08:55 PM

Just sit her down and tell her this is the way it is.

But seriously if you don't go crazy it should work out.
MM

rpnsteelheadlps · 01-09-2004, 09:11 PM

Skein, you are one heck of a guy!!!!! [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

WheresMyBobber · 01-09-2004, 09:27 PM

STG - There's no doubt that every family's financial plan should be what works best for them, and I should have stated that with my opinion. What my wife and I have always done works well for us, and that may be different than what works for other couples/families.

We're currently in financial negotiations with serious long term implications, so I sure hope we're on the right track! If only we all had a crystal ball! [img]graemlins/1zhelp.gif[/img] Good luck to all of us.

Flatfish · 01-09-2004, 09:33 PM

Jim Erickson( the most knowledgable man in Oregon today) will have your answer.

Head to the jungle and find him. The wise one knows the ways of wife training....

If that don't work, take her fishing.

Mark, Dawn, my dog, her cat, and OUR boat.....But then again, that's why I married her. :smile:

Lepper · 01-09-2004, 10:04 PM

Simple..

Take her out there.. get her into fish.. and I mean SERIOUS FISH!

Then make sure you have 1 quality rod and 1 quality reel... let her feel the difference.. she will start to understand.. and then pretty soon, as my wife says, "it'd be a lot better if we just spent the extra money and got some better quality gear"

and do what skien is right on the money.. it's all about how you treat her out there and make darn good and sure she is warm!! when I take the wife.. she gets cold.. I suddenly become cold and we go home..

d

StinkyH · 01-09-2004, 10:07 PM

Skein -

- very nice work.

For my birthday I got a fishing vest from my girlfriend.
For Christmas I got a new steelhead rod and reel(IM7 w/ an Okuma EF30) with all the supporting tackle and a Foodsaver 800 from her.

Planning on purchasing an 18' Alumaweld in the next few months.

I asked her how she would feel spending a day a week or every other week fishing with me on the water. She told me she'll like it or learn to like it so she can spend time with me. Made me feel good. :smile: Gonna let her pick out the color. Figure if I make her a part of it from the get go she'll be that much more happy to go with me.

Skein's got the right idea - will do my best to help her have an enjoyable time. :smile:

StinkyH

drhall99 · 01-09-2004, 10:18 PM

Mark and the Wise Dog have it right. Get ahold of Jim Erickson. If his Wife Training program doesn't whip her into shape, nothing will. He was even on Town Hall at one time, because of his training program.

D.

corkyking · 01-09-2004, 10:25 PM

Topic: Wife Training

You're 180 out!

Birdnest · 01-10-2004, 07:17 AM

Quote:

I'm a lucky man, yes, but I am also reaping what I have sown.

Skein

True.

My wife and I are good about running purchases past each other when they top $100. This gives us a chance to prioritize and run it through the "family needs" filter. On even larger purchases(ie- electronics for the boat) we establish a monthly budget to buy it cash. You don't always get what you want, when you want, but the "family needs" will always be met first.

Joe

[ 01-10-2004, 08:18 AM: Message edited by: Birdnest ]

kayakfisher · 01-10-2004, 07:26 AM

Pay Jennie to take her fishing a few times, then you clean the fish and cook it up nicely, smoke some of it and then serve it nicely to the two of them with a little wine...and let them crow about what a good day it was.

And supply her with a propane heater on the boat, with a cover, and some nice warm tea of her choise.

This being a sensitive male of the nineties however is not always what it was advertised...

Life was easier when we could just plunder and pilage and take what we need, eh? :grin:

M.

StinkyH · 01-10-2004, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kayakfisher:
Life was easier when we could just plunder and pilage and take what we need, eh? :grin:

StinkyH

pearl · 01-10-2004, 09:49 AM

I work in an industry where once a quarter we get bonus or incentive dollars depending how business was. This always comes as a seperate payment from the monthly check.

A wise man I worked with told he how to handle these payments and he may have been on to something.
(1) Take half the cash and put it in your tackle box.

(2) Take the other half home and give to the wife. Then ask the wife for half of that half to buy a new rod and reel. She got hers, You got yours, and the boat got a new TR1 from the first half. :grin:

Just kidding....I'm lucky to have a wife that understands that I have a passion for a few things in life and she enjoys me enjoying my pursuits. She's a firm believer in buying quality once instaed of junk four times.

It's all about balance

lost_sailor · 01-10-2004, 09:54 AM

I just say: "shut your trap, woman, and get me another beer!"

Works every time.

No not really ... tell her you could be spending that dough on heroin and hookers. Count her dang blessings. And ... bring ya another beer.

Tanner · 01-10-2004, 10:39 AM

Originally posted by Oregon Redside

Quote:

.....I was buying a guitar one day and I had commented to the salesman that I would probably catch it from the wife when I got home....his reply was..."buddy, there's front door gear and there's back door gear...it's up to you to know the difference."

So would the Paul Reed Smith I am looking at be back door? :grin:

iwanttofish · 01-10-2004, 12:33 PM

Buy here the same stuff as yourself and take her with you. I made bets with my wife first,most biggest with favors being the prize not money

. My wife and I got in an accedent three years ago I told here that she had to catch a 30 lbs salmon before I would marry her, well she finaly did it one day so then we got married. just a few months ago I was going down to the trask to fish at the same place where she caught her fish and I made the mistake of telling her where I was going to fish. She started crying because she could not go with me since she is in a wheel chair now. the pint I anm trying to make is take her out there and get her into it make it fun and she will or can be your bst fishing buddy.

nitroduk · 01-10-2004, 03:31 PM

thanks for all the great advice guys and gals, but just for the record, my wife IS my best friend and i really want her to go with me and enjoy doing the things i like to do. as far as tackle and gear, i grew up with a salmon/steelhead fanatic for a dad and i am not lacking for quality equipment, my dad has had me out with him since i was very small, almost every trip he took when i was growing up he loaded me up with him and we left, and we still go every chance we get, which is at least 2-3 times a week. i could not possibly put into words for my wife what fishing is to me, and i would really like her to feel the same way about it, but she is just not sure. i have just about run out of good ideas to get her to go with me, i need some help on getting her convinced it's really worth her time.

[ 01-10-2004, 04:33 PM: Message edited by: nitroduk ]

ultralight · 01-10-2004, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by StinkyH:

Planning on purchasing an 18' Alumaweld in the next few months.

Gonna let her pick out the color.

Gonna let her pick out the color??? Aren't you getting the short end of the stick, big time?

Stz ll · 01-10-2004, 11:43 PM

Don'ask. Don't tell. :grin:

Woody · 01-11-2004, 08:16 AM

AMEN Skein!!!

Chromaflage · 01-11-2004, 08:39 AM

Tanner - that would be your call, but IMHO - most likely. :grin: I'm just trying to figure out how to get the drift boat through the back door. :grin:

ORS

clearview2u · 01-11-2004, 09:02 AM

Okay the real anwser here is Jan(Skeins wife) and Rose (fourtywinks wife) should spend sometime with her. After I met Rose rustyl got his boat. Met Jan when we purchased one of their old boats. Learn how much fun it can be to fish. Now more money in the fishing budget. Oh yea both these ladies can really COOK too.
toni

pathetic novice · 01-11-2004, 12:03 PM

My wife's trained; I do WHAT I want, WHERE I want, WHEN I want, HOW I want, with WHO I want... as long as she tells me I want to. Gotta go, wife just told me to do the dishes....

Keeper · 01-11-2004, 03:49 PM

How could she not be sure about going fishing

I have seen so many new and exciting sights...Springer season was bald eagles and osprey nests. Catching my first salmon! Better yet, watching my 16yr old son catch his first salmon; the thrill of netting a salmon for him or my boyfriend. Bass fishing the John Day; standing on the swim platform in 100 degree weather with water clear enough to see the fish bite. I have camped on an island for a week while steelhead fishing the mouth of the Cowlitz. Coho fishing in the Hammond area. Fall Chinook! I have even conquered the "what if I have to go the bathroom" fear...men are very polite and turn away when that poncho goes over my head.

I saw snow on the coast range while on a duck hunt. I have been elk hunting, deer hunting, clamming and just got back from another day of duck hunting. He hasn't let me shoot anything...yet! Can you say "honey how about a new shotgun and I can use your old one"?
Did I mention driving the boat

first woman to ever drive HIS boat :grin:

I could keep going but I think you get the idea. Like Skein, my boyfriend has included me in his adventures, and made sure that I am comfortable by fully equiping me for all weather conditions. It hasn't always been easy since I like to do things for myself...like back bounce, remove the hook from a Bass mouth and clear the snarls out of those pesky spinning reels...good thing he is a high school teacher and VERY patient.

Looking forward to another great year!!

StinkyH · 01-11-2004, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ultralight:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by StinkyH:

Planning on purchasing an 18' Alumaweld in the next few months.

Gonna let her pick out the color.

Gonna let her pick out the color??? Aren't you getting the short end of the stick, big time? <hr /></blockquote>It's a two'fer. She picks out the color and feels more a part of it and she also happened to pick out the color I like as well(black). :grin: 'sides - the fish don't care what color my boat is. :smile:

StinkyH

OceanBlue · 01-12-2004, 07:58 AM

nitroduk: You can't be serious! You married a woman who doesn't fish?! :shocked:

nitroduk · 01-13-2004, 01:28 AM

you know, when you put it like that, it don't make any sense at all, but hey, she's hot........

[ 01-13-2004, 03:42 AM: Message edited by: nitroduk ]

fish assassin · 01-13-2004, 07:17 AM

On the subject of wife training ... Yes Sir, my wife has trained me very
well, ThankYouVeryMuch. It's called "paper training". I do as she tells me to
of she'll serve me with papers! :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:

Actually, my sweety and I have different interests ... She persues her interests
and I get to go fishing. Seems like a reasonable compromise to me! I oft times
wish she could fish with me, but her tummy doesn't like fishing speeds on the
ocean. :depressed: :depressed:

-assAssin-

kamloops · 01-14-2004, 12:02 PM

My wife doesn't want anything to do with me, boats or fishing. She can stand me about one weekend out of the month sitting at home on the sofa watching football.

She's thrilled to have me out of the house at 4:00am in the Fall, Spring, Summer or Winter.
She says I snore.

SKP · 01-14-2004, 11:40 PM

What Grantspastor said, that's perfect! I like it I like it!

SKP

AuntyM · 01-17-2004, 07:23 PM

I guess I am pretty well trained then. Hubby NEVER bothers to buy tackle. That's a wife's job to make sure his needs are met. He expects to reach into the tackle box and pull out whatever will catch fish. I buy the rods. I buy the reels. I do not understand the wanting of shoes or makeup or clothes?

No wonder he's kept me for 30 years. I asked for a bandsaw for Christmas!

Yuh. I am VERY well trained.

I did let him pick out the boat though. :grin: