A chuckle to pass on....

[Mad Mikey]

I have no idea the source of these but cracked up at most of em'. They almost sound like a "here's your sign" monologue. Enjoy...

Almost like the Darwin awards ...

1) Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

2) The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

3) A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

4) I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm
too?" I asked. "> No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

5) Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

6) I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister.
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

7) My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "> I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

8) Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

[jokester]

Good ones!

-jokester

[1pump]

I had read about #8 a while ago. Still cracks me up to this day. :smile:

[FEAR NO FISH!]

Two years ago, my wife and I purchased a Select Comfort airbed. After assembling the frame and putting the two air mattresses on top, I proceeded to add air to them. My wife suddenly yelled Stop! Why? I inquired. You won't be able to move the bed once you fill it! I had to ask her how much she thought the air would weigh? God Bless women!

[Steel Reign]

How's this for Dumb?
When I lived in AZ a man placed a cardboard box in front of an ATM machine, and coverd the Nite-Drop slot with a pacard stating the machine was out of order and to place deposits in the box. Several deposits were made and the thief made off with approx. $5000.00.
:shocked: [img]graemlins/dork.gif[/img]

[Redbull]

We gave a little grief to one of the guys at our moorage that he should run/drain his boat battery so it would be easier to get it up the ramp. It took him a minute.

A buddy of mine has done a couple America's Cups and this last one he was with Star & Stripes. Now days AC programs are about funds and smoozing. He called his gal here in Portland and she asked how training was going down in Long Beach. He said kind of slow and boring as they've been taking out some corporate sponsors and the commodore's son. She said 'Which one?' He said, 'No, it's just the commodore's son and some other sydicate officials.' She said, 'Ya I know, but which son, the drummer, the base player, Lionel Ritchie has a son?'

This gal is actually a ton of fun and worthy of many errr silly moments. For instance, my wife and I were married in Austria and this gal thought it would be fun to go but she hates to fly. My wife sent an email from her friend's computer to Amtrak trying to book a ticket to Munich, 'but could we avoid this whole plane thing even if it took an extra day or two?' They replied by saying this was impossible and she should seek help.

There are many of these from one source.

J

[ 12-31-2003, 07:10 AM: Message edited by: Redbull ]

[Swamp Puppy]

funny..gotta love it. [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

[letsfish]

Redbull,
Was this the same gal that you showed her the smelt dippers?
Letsfish