Turkey Talk

[WhiteSalmon]

When I was a young turkey new to the coop
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop
then he sat me down and he spoke real slow
and told me there was something that I had to know

His look and his tone I will always remember
when he told me of the horrors of--Black November
"come about August, now listen to me
each day you'll get six meals instead of just three

and soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin
and you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin
"and then one morning when you're warm in your bed in'll burst the farmers wife and hack off your head"

Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so your bald and pink and scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin in the sink."
"and then comes the worst part", he said not bluffing, "she'll spread you cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing"

Well, the rest of his works were to grim to repeat, I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of
meat.
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked, I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked.
I began a new diet of nuts and granola
high roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
and as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I maintained my weight to two poinds and a half
and tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But twas I who was laughing under my breath, as they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.
And sure enough when Black November rolled around, I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I have'nt a worry so I eat and I nap;
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
and smiled at me and said"Christmas is coming"