Anyone here from the "GEEK"

[Norski]

Where is he?
Did he move on?
Up set with us?
Hospital?
I miss his post.

Anyone Know????????

[Birdnest]

A while back a new member signed on as "NewImprovedGeek", residing in CA, but I never saw a post from him. I too miss the Geek.

Joe

[Jennie@ifish]

It's certainly a mystery. My prayers are still with him... even though I know that my saying that would drive him batty. :smile:

Jen

[drhall99]

I noticed that his ID still exists but all of his posts have been deleted. I suspect that he lurks on occasion but doesn't post.

D.

[Silver Hilton]

I was driving down I-5 last week, I can't tell you where, when I pulled into a gas station to rid myself of about two liters of diet cola. In my rush to that porcelain pod of bliss, I was only dimly aware of the hulking presence in the next stall.

As I struggled for relief, I heard a gasping whisper from next to me, "Hilton, is that you?"

“Geek,” I gasped. “Geek, hold on, I’ve got a class five biological weapons emergency here.”

“Hilton, listen to me! They’re after me. You’ve got to get word back – I’ve gone underground, and I can’t ever return.”

“Geek, what are you talking about? Who is after you? What have you done?”

“The Decency League.”

“The Decency League?”

“The Decency League.”

“I know, you said that, twice now. Whatever has happened, you haven’t changed. You still use more words to make less sense... Anyway, what has happened to you? One day you were here, skewering Fox viewers left and right with rapier wit, and the next, there was a void in the force, as if, as if…”

“As if a whole planetful of people had suddenly been snuffed out of existence?”

“No, Geek, not quite like that. More like when a really sore hangnail heals, that has really been stinging in the saltwater.”

The Geek glowered and turned towards the door.

“But it was like our favorite hangnail. So Geek, what is this about the Decency League?” He seemed mollified and shuffled back.

“The Decency League is a secret division of the Ashcroft organization. It’s funded by the people who really run this country.”

“You mean…??”

“Yep, Amway salesmen.”

“My God,” I gasped, “That explains everything…”

“Yes,” he nodded his head morosely, “Once my uplink decided that I was a democrat liberal traitorous scum, he shifted my downline to another guy and put the word out that I was bad news. Some of the more aggressive have been posting my e-mail addy’s to every spammer in the world and blacklisting me to the open source groups as a secret Microsoft spy. So I had to run…”

“Where to, Geek?”

“I can’t say, Hilton, probably somewhere south where they won’t think to look for me. It’ll have to be far from fish. If you weren’t a godless ****** atheist pig dog, I’d ask you to pray for me.”

“Well, that’s nice, but I am, so I won’t. But here, let me buy you a Whopper.”

“Thanks, I haven’t eaten for a spell.”

We talked in the line at the Burger King, how he’d alternately been living out of his car and then staying in high dollar comp rooms at the Vegas casinos while cleaning up at the tables. “I live in my car for weeks at a time, because then they don’t have any way to trace me. No one to call, no cards to trace. And it’s cool killing bugs with your body odor."

"Yeah, I noticed that. Geez, you can still use soap, can't you?"

"Hilton, that's how they find you. It's nanochips in the soap!" His tin hat blinked brightly in the restaurant lights as his gaze shifted to the parking lot. His eyes narrowed. "I think they're out there. I see them searching..." A five year old Taurus with a faded magnetic sign on the door turned into the drive thru line. "That's them, I've got to go.

And then, he was gone. I still had so much to say to him. Mostly, “Hey, if you’ve been cleaning up at cards, how come I’m buying?” I heard a car peel out of the lot, and then silence, broken only by the Taurus customer's voice, "Darlin', how long you gonna keep tradin' hours for dollars?!? You want to know how to get real wealth?" I slunk off to the other door.

So that's what I know. He's still out there, thinking about fish, somewhere. But he's lost to us, and he's in hell for him. I'll miss him and hope that someday, he can return to the land of Ifish.

[ 11-16-2003, 09:43 PM: Message edited by: Silver Hilton ]

[happybrew]

Shades of "Repo Man" going on here, SH! I kind of pictured him Baha, living cheap, while running an internet casino to sock away the bucks in a Panamanian bank account, marlin fishing by day, shifting his money around by night!

happybrew

[24 on/ 48 off]

I thought he was touring with Aerosmith?

--spud-- :smile:

[Thumper]

SH --- Laughed 'til I hurt. :grin:

[Fast Water]

SH --------

[El-Kabong]

bravo SH bravo.

[Silver Hilton]

Just trying to do my part in keeping you informed.

[El-Kabong]

"You still use more words to make less sense"

I have to ask, is this original? it is pure genius

[RvW]

Hilarious indeed, but now I am worried...uhh, ok a little concerned about the Geekster.
SH your story seems to add only more complexity to this mystery of the Geeks abduction. Thats it! he was abducted! Amway corporate execs are Mormons aint they?

Now its starting to make sense.

[ 11-17-2003, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Row Vs. Wade ]

[Silver Hilton]

Roe, the Geek told me that it isn't the corporate management of Amway that is in control. The Mormons are just dupes in the plan. It's a shadow group that is secretly trying to use the network apparatus to reach out to the disaffected masses in the US, seeking to unite them in a potent but misguided effort to clean the thought processes of America. Their goal is world thought domination. The Geek came across their plot at a franchising trade show he attended. He stumbled across their plans when he tried to borrow a laptop to edit one of Keta's and Stray Dog's posts. The level of edits overwhelmed the machine, causing it to fail. As he was recovering the machine for the disgruntled Amway rep, he stumbled across the project plan for domination, whereby the Amway cabal plans to take over Avon and Mary Kay Cosmetics in order to cement their control over the thoughts of the women of America. Their secret plan is to enslave the hearts and minds of they who must be obeyed, knowing that the men of America will follow like sheep.

The Rep realized that the plan had been exposed and tried to get the Geek in a hammerlock. Fortunately Geek had been working out, and wrested himself free. He ran for the exit, a process made easier by people scattering in the gunfire.

We didn't see anything about this, because the Bushies suppressed the news. Bush isn't involved in this directly, but has a significant downline income stream to protect, so he's got Condoleeza and Fox News covering up the story. Joe Lieberman has a half burned copy of a fax of a memo revealing the conspiracy, but the networks won't show it because it's on NEA stationary and that's covered by a secret provision of the Patriot Act.

Be very, very afraid.

[ 11-17-2003, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Silver Hilton ]

[RvW]

Yeah, I figured thats what happened.

[Silver Hilton]

Well, I'm glad to see you're paying attention.

[happybrew]

It makes total sense.

Now, I just need to find an Amway rep so I can sign up, and reap the benefits of world domination. Perhaps if I sell enough shampoo, I can rise up through the ranks, and they'll let me have Costa Rica. I hear it's nice down there, good beaches, marlin fishing, cheap labor. I certainly hope that the Geek doesn't turn up to expose the plot, because I want to be part of it. Yes. Costa Rica would be nice to own.

happybrew

[Jennie@ifish]

The Geek's posts haven't been deleted. That threw me off and I had to check! I surely didn't do it! :smile:

Anyhow, I do wonder how he is doing. I wonder when he'll pop back in. My bet? He will. :smile:

Jen

[1pump]

Joe Lieberman has a half burned copy of a fax of a memo revealing the conspiracy, but the networks won't show it because it's on NEA stationary and that's covered by a secret provision of the Patriot Act.

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helvetica">The National Endowment for the Arts is in on it too?!?!? :shocked: I knew it!!
Looks like Jesse Helms was right after all!

whereby the Amway cabal plans to take over Avon and Mary Kay Cosmetics in order to cement their control over the thoughts of the women of America.

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helvetica">I'll watching my rearview mirror for pink Cadillacs. They're not gonna get me! [img]graemlins/eek13.gif[/img]

[drhall99]

Jennie,

Sorry about the mistake. This is why I thought they were deleted - http://www.ifish.net/cgi-local/ultim...ile;u=00002923

D.

[Jennie@ifish]

That was a new registration. Not the old moderator, Geek. :smile:

We asked him to change his name to avoid confusion. No reply back.

The real geek is 3199

Jen

[ 11-18-2003, 06:39 AM: Message edited by: Jennie@ifish ]

[Hogmaster]

Lies! Lies! Lies!

What the Gold Marriott writes is nothing but a huge cover. If you play his words backwards it becomes clear:

The Geek is staying with Rush!

Yes, citizens, the Geek is still wearing mis-mated pumps in neon blue, one with a 3" heel, the other 4, though the sequined red dress is being covered by a Barbie quilt. His big hair is much more subdued, in fact he has been seen sporting dreadlocks as he makes appearances at Golden State Warrior Basketball games. The tin hat is correct, however, but he has added a miniture disco ball that is suspended above it so he can ward evil spirits.

The disinformation ruse is easy to spot - Mr. Hyatt claims he shared a Whopper with the Geek. Everyone knows that the Geek only eats fat and meat, specifically BACON, and would never be caught eating massive quantities of simple carbohydrates.

While I have not had the (mis)fortune of actually speaking with TFG, it is clear that by staying with Rush he has made a turn around and seen the light of what's right. There was a motion made in Congress yesterday to open the Kalimiopsis up to oil drilling. Where do you think the idea orginated from? That's right, he has contacts in far reaching bowels of Government.

Could it be a ruse? Could he be doubling? Of course. That is why the silent black helicopters are never far from his hideouts. If you sense and see an elk in a strange place, know he is near. If you glance upward quickly, you may see one of the choppers, but don't do it! They will get your face and know you as a potential double whopper, just like Mr. Ramada.

Any reports of someone seeing the Geek at a Crispy Creme shop must be treated as credible. He is staying at them since no one would ever expect to see him there. However, the tell tale tipoff as to the credibility of the report is if the store has the unmistakable, overwhelming and impermeable smell of BACON throughout.

[Silver Hilton]

Squawmaster,

It's clear that your envy of the Geek's former sartorial splendor still consumes you. You're still mad that you and the Geek showed up to the party wearing the same thing, aren't you? I told you to use that paisley scarf to accessorize.

You can rest easy. The Red Dress is out of circulation. The Geek had to hock it in order to buy gas to get out of town. It had been torn slightly by the Amway goon as Geek made his escape, so it only had souvenir value anyway (having been formerly worn by Elvis). You can still buy it to satisfy your cross dressing desires, if it hasn't already been sold. It's in a pawn shop on MLK blvd somewhere.

But in your impotent attempts to smear our friend, you have touched, however accidently, on the truth.

The Geek and Rush are one and the same. The Neo-cons, chiefly Rumsfield, are keeping him heavily sedated to keep the Rush personality dominant, as it is the only one that can function without any need for intelligence. When the medication is fresh and he's heavily sedated, he's Rush. When the medication wears off, he's the Geek again. When he's halfway under, he's alternately Rosie O'Donnell and Ann Coulter, depending on which way he's headed. It's not a pretty thing to watch. The Ann Coulter to Rosie O'Donnell transformation in particular is ugly, kind of like watching the incredible Hulk encounter PMS for the first time.

These are sad, scary times for our friend. The resistance movement has probed the defenses of the facility holding him, but he's well guarded by out of work telemarketers. We sent a troop of ex-Special Forces, led by Boedy, to try and break him free, but they were beaten worse than an Oregon football team, despite outnumbering and outgunning the telemarketers.

But we, the friends of the Geek, have not given up, nor shall we ever rest until he is free, and liberal intellectual moderation rises again.

Free The GEEK!!!

[garyk]

Once, in response to a post of mine which contained a couple nature-observations, he called me a "salamander flosser".

Nobody's ever said that to me - at least to my face, or pc monitor.

I've gotten over it though, and kinda miss him.

[skrimmy]

[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]
Ah, Hogmaster and Silver Hilton at their best!
Way too funny, guys!

[Hogmaster]

Ah, skrimmy-san -

Mr. Starwood and I are doing nothing more that reporting facts as we understand them with regard to the GEEKster. Unfortunately, Joe Marriott continues to hold on to his dilusional beliefs even in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

It seems obvious that he really did meet with someone at a Burger King. But instead of TFG, he really was mistaken and was conversing the entire time with Janet Reno. It is an easy mistake, so one can hardly blame him. After all, she was no doubt confused as well. She often answers to "Hey you, Geek!"

And it wasn't Amway salesmen that were on the hunt. It was clearly the dudes from Stark's Vacumn Center that were trying to suck the crud right out of the brains of those so psychotic that they believe The Geek and Rush would be the same person.

It is very disconcerting that Micheal Jackson is on the run, however. It is hard to believe a Geeker could dance like that, but then again when Mr. Econo-Lodge was less diluded he did make a report about TFG having a massive case of "happy feet" on the boat. Specifically, when BACON was cooking. Could Michael, La-Toya and The Geek all be one and the same?

Unconfirmed reports today have him being seen exiting a side door at the end of the Rosie O'donnell trial. No one there seemed to feel the smell of BACON to be unusual at all...

[Silver Hilton]

Boy, first liar just doesn't stand a chance around here, does he? :grin:

[crabbait]

Amen.