Monty python movies

Pilar · 10-27-2003, 01:41 PM

And now for something completely different.

What is your favorite line from one of the flying circus' many movies or stage skits....?

For me it is the Holy Grail .. Many silly moments here including the killer rabbit, the holy hand grenade and Michael Palin reading from the book of armaments chapter of hand grenades, Sir Robin's minstrels, the black knight, the Trojan horse (rabbit), the wizard Tim and the knights who say NI!

But the silliest by far IMHO is when King Arthur encounters a castle during his travels in England and the french inhabitants stand on the wall and taunt him (I wish I could remember 1/2 the insults in that taunt), call him names, etc and King Arthur says ...

"If you are french, what are you doing in England?"

The frenchman replies ...

'None of your buziness you silly english bed wetter, now go away before I taunt you a second time!!!!!!'

Yes, I see your eyes rolling, Ocean Blue but if you study you may have some material for your next staff meeting. :grin:

DanS · 10-27-2003, 01:43 PM

"your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of Elderberries."

More funny lines in that movie than you can shake a stick at.

"When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely tucked his tail and fled..........brave, brave Sir Robin."

happybrew · 10-27-2003, 02:02 PM

"And Saint Antioch raised the hand grenade up on high saying "Oh Lord, bless this, thine hand grenade, that with it, thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits.... in thy mercy!" And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and entropies, and fruit bats and orangutans, and lima beans....."

"He's not a messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"

And of course, there is one which fits reactions on this forum quite well.......
"We've found a witch! May be burn her?" (crowd) "Burn her! Burn her!"

happybrew

DanS · 10-27-2003, 02:05 PM

"She turned me into a Newt!"

"You're not a Newt."

"Well.........I got better."

Wreckless · 10-27-2003, 02:14 PM

Great movies....but the Parrot sketch still cracks me up.

This parrot is deceased...this is an EX-PARROT!!

"no it's not it's just sleeping"....and on and on

That and an obscure line in one of the sketches where on of the guys has an upset stomach and he explains..."I ate a bad rat today"...I still use that one.

Funny stuff!

Pilar · 10-27-2003, 02:15 PM

'I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees I eat my lunch
I love to press wild flowers
On Wednesdays I go shopping
and have buttered scones for tea.'

Can't quote the rest due to the AUP

and of course the infamous ex-parrot skit

"If that parrot wasn't nailed to his perch he'd muscle open those bars and voom!"

'Mate this parrot wouldn't voom if you put 4 million volts through it.
E's bleedin demised!!!!!'

lost_sailor · 10-27-2003, 02:27 PM

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

[ 10-27-2003, 03:28 PM: Message edited by: lost_sailor ]

boomer · 10-27-2003, 02:28 PM

just a flesh wound.........I've had worse

Does anyone remember a skit with a bunch of guys sitting in a club sipping brandy reminiscing on how hard they each had it growing up-each story outdoing the previous?

Pilar · 10-27-2003, 02:38 PM

Yes .. Live at the Hollywood bowl, I have it on vinyl. Has others like 'Albatross', 'Ex-parrot', 'Lumberjack song' and 'Argument clinic'.

'There were 156 of us living in a small shoe box in the middle of the road. Every day we had to get up at 4 in the mornin, two hours before we got to bed, eat a handful of cold gravel and go to work at the mill 26 hours a day, day in and day out at tuppence a month and when we got home our dad would slice us in two with a bread knife and dance about on our graves singing allelujia.'

"Just try to tell the young people of today that, they won't believe you"

'Nope, Nope!'

[ 10-27-2003, 03:39 PM: Message edited by: Pilar ]

Woody · 10-27-2003, 02:47 PM

From the French Castle scene in The Holy Grail

"Ah'm French! Why do you think I have this out-rrrageous accent, you silly king?!"

And from later in the same scene

"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person! Ah blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur Keeeng"! You and all your silly English Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!!"

boomer · 10-27-2003, 03:08 PM

Pilar, that's the one! I need to get a video/dvd of that one.........I occasionaly make reference to it but others dont know what I'm talking about

DanS · 10-27-2003, 03:13 PM

"I fahrt in your general direction."

1pump · 10-27-2003, 03:16 PM

"......we demand....A SHRUBBERY!!" :shocked:

or

"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?!?!?"

I'll laugh 'til I swallow my tongue, but my girlfriend just sits there shaking her head. "This is the stupidest crap I've ever seen!"
If you don't get it, you don't get it. We can't all be enlightened.

[ 10-27-2003, 04:23 PM: Message edited by: 1pump ]

10-27-2003, 03:16 PM

I chop down trees
I wear a skirt
Just like my dear Papa

DanS · 10-27-2003, 03:17 PM

"What is your favorite color?"

"Red.....no blue" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!

Pilar · 10-27-2003, 03:19 PM

Boomer, don't know which video it is. I have it on a old lp record called 'Live at the Hollywood Bowl'. I've just about worn it out listening to it. The 'Argument clinic' is priceless. He stumbles into the wrong office and gets 30 seconds of 'Abuse' first. That string of insults is worth memorizing if you can slow it down a little to get it all.

I'll try to get the name of the skit the next time I listen to it.

'What is the approximate airspeed of an unladen sparrow?'

"African or European?"

'I dunno .. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!'

"The number of the counting shall be three. Three which comes after two but before the number four. In no case shall the number of the counting be four. Five is completely out."

[ 10-27-2003, 04:23 PM: Message edited by: Pilar ]

BonkBonkBonk · 10-27-2003, 03:29 PM

run away!
i love that movie! [img]graemlins/lurk.gif[/img]

black magic · 10-27-2003, 03:49 PM

How about 'The Meaning Of Life', where the chorus sings: "Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great, and if one gets wasted, god gets quite irate."

Thumper · 10-27-2003, 03:52 PM

I had forgotten much of that. Without a doubt, the funniest movie of all time!!!

Birdnest · 10-27-2003, 04:03 PM

Bring out your dead, bring out your dead...
Right here.
I'm not dead.
He says he's not dead yet.
Oh, he'll be stone dead in moment.
Well I can't take him like that, it's against regulations.
I think I'll go for a walk...
Oh, your not fooling anyone.
I feel happy...

With out a doubt, the hands down, pass the popcorn funniest movie of all time.

Joe

Woody · 10-27-2003, 04:27 PM

My favorite scene in Life of Brian is all of the guys being crucified singing " Always look on the bright side", it's just so sacreligious and absurd. Classic Python.

Look what I found!!! Completely useless website

Check out the file section

[ 10-27-2003, 05:32 PM: Message edited by: Woody ]

blacktail · 10-27-2003, 05:03 PM

A few of my favorites from Holy Grail.

(Sir Robin) - nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

On second thought, let's not got to Camelot. It is a silly place.

Go away before I taunt you a second time.

Kruechief · 10-27-2003, 05:09 PM

All right guys,

I have a good collection of MP stuff on MP3. The French taunter, the Black Knight, the P---- Song, the lumebjack Song, the Castle Aaargh and more.

"Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time"
and,

"I move for no man"

If you want these three or four minute snipets I'll email them to you.

Krue

[ 10-27-2003, 06:27 PM: Message edited by: Kruechief ]

happybrew · 10-27-2003, 08:03 PM

ROFL!! My this brings back memories!

"You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with...... a herring!"

And we thought they were just for bait!

I loved the argument clinic. I probably still have it somewhere among my old tapes that I haven't dragged out for a really long time. I've gotta get it. I think it was called "The Final Ripoff." I don't think I've pulled that out in ten years. I hope I still have it.

happybrew

Tanner · 10-28-2003, 01:21 PM

Holy Grail

"We are the nights who say nee"

"Bring us........A Shrubbery"

Meaning of Life

The goldfish scene

"Morning, morning, Good morning"

Mr. Creosote

"Bring me a bucket!!!"

C-lice · 10-28-2003, 07:06 PM

The Life of Brian:

"GET BY with crucifixion?"

"Making it worse? How could I possible make it worse? JEHOVAH!! JEHOVAH!!"

"You can't have babies, Stan."
"Don't you oppress me!"
"Where's the fetus going to gestate? In a bloody box?"

"You were *****?"
"Well, at first, yes."

"Well of course there're juniper berries..THEY'RE JUNIPER BUSHES!!!"

"Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor sir?"
"What?"
"Throw him to the floor sir?"
"Oh yes!"

The Quest for the Holy Grail:

"All right. We'll call it a draw."

"Some watery tart lobbing scimitars is not the basis for a proper government" (or something like that)

"We dare not risk another frontal assault, that thing's dynamite!"

"Build a bridge out of 'er!"

"...huge...tracts o' land!"

"..small-minded wipers of other peoples' bottoms."

The Meaning of Life:

"We've come for your liver!"

"Eet's Waffer theen..."

"But we've had ^%#@^% twice...and we have only two children."
"But that's not the point."

"Anybody else...have a problem with my little scheme...of marching up and down the square!!!????"

"What's wrong with a kiss, boy?"

Live at the Hollywood Bowl:

"Oh, Emmanuel Kant was a reall ****ant who was very rarely stable;
Heidegger Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table;
(I actually know the whols song. Scary.)

pdxkevin · 10-29-2003, 06:36 AM

...Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and SPAM; bacon and SPAM; egg, bacon, sausage and SPAM; SPAM, bacon, sausage and SPAM; SPAM, egg, SPAM, SPAM, bacon and SPAM; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, egg and SPAM; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, baked beans, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM and SPAM; or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate', brandy and a fried egg on top of SPAM...

Lured In · 10-29-2003, 08:58 AM

From the Holy Grail...

...during the witch scene...

"Name something that floats in water..."
Peasants shouting out..."Lead...very small rocks...ducks, ducks float in water....churches?"

From Aurthor's opening Crusade...

"We've been riding since snow covered this land.."
"Riding....? You're banging two halves of a coconut together?"

The Peasant screaming...
" I'm being repressed! I'm be repressed!"

More on the Knigts...
"We are no longer the knights who say 'Nee' we are now the the knights who say..'Iky pocky tooky nah!'"

The nuns in the castle...
"We've been very bad..."

Too funny...great thread!

[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

Lepper · 10-29-2003, 12:05 PM

singing..

Brave, brave sir robin, brave sir robin ran away.. tucked his tale between his legs.........

"bring out your dead.. Bring out your dead..

but i'm not dead yet.. you will be soon enough! no no, I feel like going for a walk!"

I cut your bloody leg off! it's only a flesh wound!!

happybrew · 10-29-2003, 03:43 PM

Bravely, bold Sir Robin
rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid
to be killed in nasty ways,
brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.
He was not in the least bit scared
To be mashed into a pulp,
or to have his eyes gouged out
and his elbows broken,
to have his kneecaps split
and his body burned away,
brave, brave brave brave Sir Robin.

happybrew · 10-29-2003, 03:46 PM

Brave Sir Robin ran away!
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

RvW · 10-29-2003, 03:51 PM

English pig-dogs! -- Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English knnnniggets. Thppppt!. . . I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Monk: "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large--"

Brother Maynard: "Skip a bit, Brother."

Monk: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.