Halloween Jokes

[Steelie Steve]

This is really surprisingly neat. I do suggest turning up the volume a bit or you can't hear the faint murmurs in the background. It took me about a minute before I was able to make out the image of the ghost.

Apparently the owners of the house pictured at this site had been seeing images and hearing voices for quite a while. They did some research and found that a lady once lived in the house who lost her husband during the civil war. Legend says that she used to sit at the table and look across the fields in anticipation of her loved one returning home. He never came.
So, they say she still waits. They caught this photo of what they claim to be her. This is wild and a little spooky once you find the ghost in the picture. It takes a few seconds to find it, but when you do, it just stands out. Like one of those optical illusions pictures where you have to be the optimum distance away from the photo (approx. 24"). Concentrate around the table. Best not to focus too hard on one spot. Look around the table and toward the window. Best to enlarge to a full screen view. It's faint, but the low murmur you hear was what got the photographer's attention first.

Can you see the ghost?

Sorry.... Had to do it

[Point-of-Sale Clerk]

No thanks... Fell for it once here at Ifish and have no plans on falling over backwards in my chair again...

[pdxkevin]

Post 'em if ya got 'em

I'll start...

Everyone at the company where I work dressed up for Halloween. One fellow's costume stumped us. He simply wore slacks and a white T-shirt with a large 98.6 across the front in glitter. When someone finally asked him what he was supposed to be, he replied, "I'm a temp."

[pdxkevin]

Halloween Survival Guide


*When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.

*If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetary, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house, move away immediately.

*Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

*Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

*If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

*When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go it alone.

*As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

*Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

*If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

*If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

*Do not take *anything* from the dead.

*If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

*Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

*If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

*If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

*Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

*If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

[StinkyH]

Originally posted by Steelie Steve:
Can you see the ghost?

Sorry.... Had to do it

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helvetica">Yeah - that's a keeper for sure! I scared the bujezuz out of a few people good last year with it. :grin:

StinkyH

[Pyramid]

Steelie, Thats Good! :smile:

A little boy went out Trick or Treating dressed as a pirate. At one of the stops a lady said to him, “My what a cute little pirate. But where are your buccaneers?” He replied “On the side of my head.”

[ 10-12-2003, 09:37 AM: Message edited by: Keta ]

[Hogmaster]

* If you are dancing with a strange woman and her arm falls off, do not attempt to put it back on!*

[Thumper]

Noooooo Noooooo Noooo. Did that last year. Heart is still calming down. Spooky!