Where's the Hogmaster????

[formerly]

I have a low Hogmaster laugh indicater light blinking. Where have the fishing and nonfishing adventure stories gone? Is Arnie still unmarried? Did the rototiller run out of gas? Did anyone go swimming or knock any fish off lately? What adventures of the Yakazuma and Wu Tang are going down?

[jokester]

Now that you mentioned something...I haven't heard any "As The Impeller Turns" stories lately. Oh Hogmaster, you out there????

[Jennie@ifish]

Last seen racing cars and writing poetry on LIG.

Where, oh where has he gone? :smile:

Jen

[skrimmy]

Heard from the hogmaster yesterday, he's stealthily preparing for his trek to T-Bay in early Oct for his annual "derby". I think he's quietly working on what kind of pranks to pull! I hope he ties down the net real well for the trip down there! :grin:

[Hogmaster]

Oh, not far away.

The impeller isn't turning. It seems a violation of an AUP clause with each tale, so the election has been made to avoid turmoil and controversy at the expense of a few laughs.

There is plenty of fodder, what with all the heathens, misfits and generally unsavory characters that have entered my life. Especially since joining ifish! (not you Jennie! :grin: )

But to tell the truthful impeller stories about some of the hyjinx I have observed would only serve to ruthlessly embarass the guilty. Now it is certainly true that most of these folk must have a true masochistic bent to their being, or why else would they be hanging with me? But some of us just can't handle the truth! :shocked:

So, I considered fictionalizing some of the people places and things that have been observed, but that wouldn't be appropriate for this forum since only self evident truths are allowed on this page. Yeah, right.

Therefore, the impleller tales are sunseted as of this point in time. I'd consider bringing them back but they don't seem to be too sorely missed. In fact, most people are sore they even occurred.

Except formerly and skrimmy, they are among the "give me some pain" types...

[Redbull]

Now, now little piglette. Your creative license is far from being revoked. Pen us some humor at the expense of all. Heck, I'll take it.

But wait, let me give it a shot.

I once heard of a man named Wu.
He fished in some open toed (chick) floppy shoes.
Hog said "James grab the bow!"
"My legs aren't that long, and my foot is slipping holy cow."
And he promptly fell the slough.

True story!

Hey, that was kinda fun. I'll try another one.

I once went fishing on the Clack.
It was a long hike in and I thought Reeldick was gonna have a heart attack.

Hogmaster caught a little meany.
A drift boat went by - it was Uglygreeny.

We had to pack ourselves out and this particular trail is incredibly greasy.
We knew it wasn't going to be easy.
All of a sudden Hog's feet were in the air.
Flying steelhead was everywhere.

Hog was a dirtball from head to toe.
Reeldick and I thought he looked like some Schmoe.

We found the fish deep in the bushes.
Hog waded in the water to wash off his tushes.

And we laughed about it all the way home.

Alright, I'm done. I'm mailing in my license.

[STGRule]

Let’s just say the literature matter had "matured" beyond a solid "G" rating.

[fishisabonus]

Oh Hog, if you ever picked on me I knew you was picking on me because you liked me. :tongue: Some people are just to sensitive. Get over yourself, and learn to take a joke, even if the joke is on you! Now the rest of us are suffering because we want to read more "impleller turns" stories. I still think my favorite story was about the black ducks and that one was Hog admitting his own stupidity! :grin:

[Mojo]

Hogman,
Crank out the words brutha'...I need them. I live a mundane life, and only get to fis a few days a week. Your stories help me to get through the 1, 2, or 3 day droughts.

Bring it on!!!! Please!

[Hogmaster]

Thanks, Lynder & MoJo! :grin:

But what STG is referencing is that creating non "G" ratings can so easily occur for impeller stories.

Like if I were to write, for example, that Redbull's dissertations of heresay and indutiable actualities resulting in a plethora of alliteritive and imagined sorcery consequentially have denouement terminating with erect studiousness combined with delusions of grandure to certain **** sapiens sufferring from onomatopoeia, well, that wouldn't be very G now would it? But very mature.

And by the way, sports fans, that sentence actually makes sense.

Oh, these words are dangerous things.

But if I write that Joby never saw that freaking swim incident and that my slip in the bog was due to a trip from behind Hog, well, I might start a war of recreated memories that may be entirely G rated, non-(place AUP violation here), and thus acceptable.

What's the point? Simply this:

People can interpret things in their own realities that tend to cause certain topics to be interpreted in different ways than intended. Or maybe even as intended but then they walk in with the full bat swings on subsequent responses, pointing out both the obvious and sometimes not so obvious meanings behind some of what is written.

Cranial/rectal inversion
Fetid steaming canine excrement

Are but a few simple examples of how words CAN be used in a G setting without causing an AUP violation. But they do, because someone then has to point out more graphically and less descriptively what those kinds of things might mean.

No, Jennie and the mods have enough to deal with without me stirring the pot!

Like I just did.



[ 09-25-2003, 10:49 PM: Message edited by: Hogmaster ]

[1pump]

Maybe we should have a Hogmaster haiku contest....
The again, maybe not. [img]graemlins/dork.gif[/img]

[HOGTIDE]

I just figured that 5 Cent had used up so much band-width that there was no more room for his stories :shocked:

[STGRule]

OR the literature matter "matured" beyond a solid "G" rating. Solid "G" is much different than a murky "R". Fairly easy to tell the difference too. Big words or not.

[Hogmaster]

'Zactly. Like **** sapiens.

Good thing I didn't mention **** erectus!

No, no solid "G" rating there.

While some things are entirely solid G to some, they are obviously "murky R" to others. And vice versa.

So obvious? Not always.

I certainly wouldn't want to question anyone here, though I certainly wonder about some of the language I have seen posted in other threads as being "solid G". And posted by... nevermind.

Look, the bottom line is contextual meaning and whether it might be mis-interpreted, right? Or whether certain topics might be "over the heads" of the naive anyway. But that is always going to be subject to censure here.

So it be!



[ 09-25-2003, 11:24 PM: Message edited by: Hogmaster ]

[crabbait]

"G" rated? I think this is LI "G" rated so off to Life in General it goes!

[Paddlefish]

I, too, confess to missing the baconmeister. Perhaps he's just too literary -- as opposed to literal -- for some folks.

Personally, I've always thought that a subtle euphemism ought to deserve bonus points over SCREAMING everything in multiples of four letters.

Here's to you, Hogmaster. As for the complainers, I wouldn't give a rodent's rear for those complaints!. :grin:

[husker]

Hogmaster-...the master story teller!!

nothing better then an impeller turns story...as for skrimmy....well

[Jennie@ifish]

Ifish has always had a rule against profanity, or adult themed material. I will stick to that for as long as I run ifish, which I hope, is a very long time.

Although there are a few who oppose, (and quite vocally), by far the majority prefers the rules that I have set forth on ifish. I could probably name less than 50 that have problems with my views on adult themed writings on ifish. I will continue the road I have chosen, without looking back.

Am I like this in my own personal life? Not purely, but that isn't the issue. The issue is how to run a bulletin board with 5000 members, and do it, leaving time for me to fish, too.

I have my rules for two reasons.

First, because of my sincere intent that this be a family site, and second, because of my inability to control anything that does not have stringent rules. I don't want to spend all day deciding what is OK, and what is not. So, when things are brought to my attention and are considered to be profanity, adult themed, or whatever, we ask people to edit them, or we simply edit for them. No, I cannot control everything everyone says, and I cannot read all messages. There are bound to be some we miss.

However, it is easiest to just say "no" to all, and remind users to keep such things to e mail.

I am sorry to the few that oppose this part of ifish, and to you, I would advise that you either find a web site that doesn't care who you offend, (of which there are many) or to understand that this isn't going to change at ifish.

I'd rather please most of the people, by holding back on most of this, than to offend some members, and have to apologize for content.

I hold a firm belief in these rules. I have a proven track record that supports these rules, and I will not budge.

I, too, enjoyed Hogmaster's early stories. I am sorry to say that some of the later ones were not appropriate for ifish.

They were, however, appropriate for e mail and would be enjoyed by many.

With this, the subject is closed.

You know...sometimes I wish that all of you had an inside view of what it is like to try and run a bb. It really is very intense... sometimes heartbreaking, and often frustrating.

All I can do is ask for guidance, follow through on what I believe to be right, and put one foot in front of the other.

Thanks,
Jen

[ 09-26-2003, 02:30 PM: Message edited by: Jennie@ifish ]

[CATCH AND EAT]

I miss your stories too Gary. Sorry to hear of the literary juxtaposition and thus the self imposed solitude of this centuries Samuel Clemmens here on i-fish. Your witt and dimwitteness are appreciated by many folks that read your folklore. Tantilizing stories of James the Zombie Olympic swimmer or the once to often ran over net caused my dimple to ache with laughter and amuzement.

I thought I had heard some good stories but you my friend are a great story teller. Hopefully, even though you have been sensored here you are writing this treasure of stories and experiences to the paper. The next Mc Mannis? Maybe not but who knows?

Wish you would share with us Gary and ignore the 1st ammendment of the constitution. Maybe you can sneek in a PG story with a wink.

Just one closing thought. To us i-fishers and friends we are but visitors here. This place is a place to meet and enjoy. Yet we do not own it. Thus there are those "stinken rules" that we all have to abide by. Peace and tranquillity We love ya Gary.