Subject: How to speak English GOOD

[pdxkevin]

Subject: How to speak English GOOD

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

19. The passive voice is to be ignored.

20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

29. Who needs rhetorical questions?

30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.


And the last one...


31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

[Pete]

Where are your mind at. To seriously think about (especially) silly issues that doesn't matter to whether someone can understanding which you are talking about? I think needs more work.

[Joe Schwab]

I think you used too many punctuation marks and there was really no need to number everything after all we can in most cases figure out that these are totally and separate items which you have carefully placed in order like so many rules are written so that common folks like us can easily read them to our children who really have no idea of what we are talking about and are more concerned with whatever interests them at the time. Really! [img]graemlins/program.gif[/img]

[Hoosier Daddy]

[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]
As someone who does WAY more writing and editing of other folks' writing than I probably should, I LOVE IT!!!

[freespool]

Sounds great,but I'am a little fuzzy on a couple of these terms. Please explicate in detail the following. Conjunction,Infinitive,Alliteration,Parenthetical, Contraction,Eschew ampersands.

[crabbait]

I seen some of them, before. Your just jailous cuz you cain't ketch no fish. Bet her luck nex time.

[Jennie@ifish]

huh.