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Old 08-26-2003, 11:25 PM   #1
maggot
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Default any single fathers out there?

Was hoping other fathers with young kids might want to get together and let the little Ifishers burn energy, in the great outdoors.
I have a true respect and admiration for single mothers, this stuff aint easy. Any aid/suggestions in teaching and entertaining my 9 yr old daughter and 7 yr old son is what Im looking for. I thought other fathers in my boots would have some great insight.....lets hear from you folks.

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Old 08-27-2003, 06:36 AM   #2
OceanBlue
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

Hey, hey now... single moms might be able to help, too, y'know... and we could use the help, too (despite that special whip and crown that makes us Wonder Women!)

I think the key to entertaining your kids is to figure out what they really enjoy and play on that. If they really like biking, take their bikes along when you want to go fishing. If you have a desire to introduce them to the things you love, make sure you do it in little bites. Don't cram it down their throats. If you take them fishing, make sure it is about THEM having fun, not you. This might mean that you get to the fishin' hole, mess around for an hour and leave. Otherwise, I can guarantee that they won't like it and you'll not be able to enjoy this activity together.

If you're not ready to take them on the big hunting trip yet, take them scouting. Kids are generally fascinated with learning new things and will delight in dad sharing his knowledge of the woods.

I think your idea of a "ifish-jr. rodeo" is a good one. Kids that might be totally into fishing can rub off on those just being introduced to the sport.
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Old 08-27-2003, 07:30 AM   #3
James in Idaho
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

Maggot:

I'm a single dad (50% custody) of a 10 year old girl. She is a fishing, fly tying and soon to be hunting fool. Of course, some days she would just as soon swim in the river, which is ok. I live to far for a get together, and of course my busiest time at work is right in your fall salmon season. All I can say is keep it fun, don't push, and find a bluegill pond! Lots of snacks, sunscreen, drinks, and short drives are best. My girl can now bait her own hooks, cast a flyrod, shoot her .22, and wants to put in for moose when she is 12! She was with me last fall when I shot my moose, and it was just the two of us. She pulled on her rubber gloves and pitched right in, and was actually helpful. Lots of "what's that" questions. ; ) It's a hoot. Keep it light and fun. Oh yeah, she is also learning how to work at retriever hunt tests and field trials, likes the $$ that she earns.
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Old 08-27-2003, 12:59 PM   #4
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

I am recently a full time dad, adjusting from the single guy attitude. I see these single mothers conducting themselves with grace and control as I portray the choatic, unorganized "part-time" dad.As I look in the mirror daily I see horrific evidence of "time" accumulating one on top each other. Does Grecian Formula really work? And would it burn to put Nair in my nose and ears? These are questions ive been skirting around .Until recently , Ive been forced to face the fact that Im suddenly an example, and cant be the wild man I want to ba......all the time. So.....in short: Im dying :depressed: ,but am being respawned.
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Old 08-27-2003, 02:14 PM   #5
Phil Layer
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

I'm a single dad going on five years now. And, I'll match my child rearing skills with any single woman any day! [img]graemlins/icon_argue.gif[/img] (excepting cooking, of course).

I've got a rather difficult situation with mine in that my 11 year old son and I love to fish while my 14 year old daughter absolutely hates it. For a long time I struggled with her detest of this wonderful avocation. I figured I must be doing something wrong. But after changing locals; changing targeted species; bribing her; etc., I have finally accepted that she simply does not like fishing. I now don't even ask anymore (she knows all she has to do is ask) and are relationship is much better.

As to spending time with them in the great outdoors, OceanBlue is right on when she says to take it in little spoonfuls. Put me in a boat with a rod and I'm good for 12 hours. Give my kid a rod that doesn't get bit within 45 minutes and he's ready for something else.

I read somewhere that you should limit fishing to two hour periods with younger kids and that is probably a good rule...at least until you are absolutely certain that your child wants to stay longer.

Enjoy those littluns while you can!
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Old 08-27-2003, 06:50 PM   #6
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

Im a single dad with full custody of a 3 1/2 year old girl. Its a chore but more than worth it. Even if I come home from work not so UP so to speak, she brings me right back with a smile. Im slowly introducing her to the outdoors. She loves anything outside. She loves to watch me clean big fish but doesnt want to touch them. She has 2 fishin poles ready to roll. I have to hide them from her otherwise they will be outside somewhere. She actually can cast pretty darn good on her Scooby pole. If there were more kids in her age range I might be interested.
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Old 08-28-2003, 08:02 AM   #7
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

maggot, Wow. It's a tough adjustment, I'll grant you. The key to "grace" is to plan ahead. Kids want to know what to expect. And if you anticipate their needs (entertainment, snacks, beverages, potty comforts, etc.) and plan ahead for them, you'll all have a better time.

Most men (sorry) are the "just throw the poles, tackle and bait in the truck and let's go" type. Kids aren't usually comfortable under those circumstances.

Have them help you. For example, tell them Wednesday, "we're going to the lake on Saturday for fishin' and fun. Why don't you make a list of things you'd like to take along?" Then ask them for a similar list of the snacks and beverages they'd like to have along. Do your shopping on Thursday and have them help you gather their toys and clothing (lots of layers) on Friday night. Oh, and don't forget the sunscreen & toilet paper

If you pack up the truck Friday night, then there's a no-stress (okay, honestly, a LOWER-stress) start in the morning.

There's just too much for a single parent to do to try doing it all at once.

Be patient with yourself. I bet you're doing a thousand times better than you think you are. Why, just the fact that you're out here asking for help says a great deal about you as a parent!
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Old 08-28-2003, 08:13 AM   #8
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

It can be intimidating to carry on as a single parent, but don't be discouraged. I was a 50/50 single dad from the time my three sons were 10, 8 and 6. We used our time together to learn the love of the outdoors, which included a lot of time fishing, duck, dove, pheasant and deer hunting, registered trapshooting (no finer way to teach gun safety), and other such fun stuff. We had a ball!

In many ways we were closer than we would have been had we kept the family together. My sons are now 35, 37 and 39 and we still spend lots of time together. It's been a great life.
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Old 08-28-2003, 02:58 PM   #9
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

Quote:
Originally posted by James in Idaho:
Maggot:

My girl can now bait her own hooks, cast a flyrod, shoot her .22, and wants to put in for moose when she is 12!
<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helvetica">My son is 23 and he cant/wont do that yet. LOL
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Old 08-28-2003, 08:04 PM   #10
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

I want to take care of a myth that is brewing here.. about single mothers who conduct themselves with grace and control.

The truth is we are so exhausted we don't have the energy to do anything but. And the kids know that if MOM SNAPS.. and is not in control.. then there will be a price and it is a price they don't really want to pay.

There should be a million ways to spell "tired"!
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Old 08-28-2003, 08:28 PM   #11
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

Linda - amen. But we do it. And when we fail, we keep tryin'. That's where the grace and control really lies. And, we get lucky sometimes (don't we beee-ach! ) (no disrespect intended, folks, it is an inside joke between me an fishisabonus)
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Old 08-28-2003, 09:12 PM   #12
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

Failure is not an option! Quit edit that post... get that word out of there.. we don't fail... we just get fed up! It isn't failing if they are still alive, now is it... I still have my hair.. haven't pulled it all out yet! And it isn't gray yet either! :grin:

BTW.. it is LYNDA, not Linda.. you know.. like LYNDA CARTER.. She was the original WONDER WOMAN! I just wish I could operate a whip like she did and look like that in her uniform!

[ 08-28-2003, 10:15 PM: Message edited by: fishisabonus ]
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Old 08-28-2003, 10:53 PM   #13
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

I am a 50/50 Single dad and I tell you what, the time I spend with my kids is far more memorable than any fishing trip I been on. It takes time to adjust. Just be patient. You will find the swing of things. If you would like, maybe we can get together and have a beer, since we live so close to eachother. I would be willing to lend an ear to any concerns you might have regarding your fathering skills. If you are interested, write me an email.
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Old 08-28-2003, 11:27 PM   #14
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

Well, Its nice to know that others understand and are also wearing the same shoes. I dont think Im failing ,just concerned that I might be blind to some important stuff. Patients....Im working on that. Fortunately.....and this is no joke.....My kids are absolute angels. They dont argue(yet), They do everything I ask, and rarely complain.We actually have set up designated times to do things like chores. The real problem is getting them out to do things. I work ALOT. Trying to curb that , and at the same time want everything for my kids.So....needless to say, we all look forward to days we do spend together. If I have any parenting questions in the future....Im coming here!!.....thanks folks.
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Old 08-29-2003, 06:16 AM   #15
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Default Re: any single fathers out there?

Lynda -
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