Attack of the Killer Fruitloops
Carefully so as not to spill,
He carries the test tube down the stairs.
His family sleeps soundsly still
And of his plan they are unaware.
He goes to the kitchen in slippered feet.
Without a sound he opens the door,
And a member of the scientific elite
Shall see the light of day no more.
He opens the cupboard and searches around
For the proper cereal box,
But he cannot find what must be found,
Only Cheerios and Coco Pops.
At last he finds what he needs,
And over the test tube he stoops,
Pulls out the stopper, and then he feeds
The liquid to the bowl of Fruitloops.
The Fruitloops eagerly devour the stuff,
And they mutate, change, and grow.
In a flash of flame and a green smoke puff
The chemist looks up and screams "NO!"
The Fruitloops came, and the Fruitloops avenged
Their many munched on friends,
And in the breakfast cereal's revenge,
The man and his family met their ends.
What could humanity do to be saved
Against an enemy so depraved?
People being eaten by what they used to eat!
Oh, how they wished they had kept cream of wheat!
Fruitloops of red, orange, and green,
The most horrible sight that anyone had seen.
That which had once served as food,
Transformed into a murderous brood.
People would never eat Fruitloops again.
How could they taste what had once tasted them?
The Fruitloops had no such scruples, though,
They continued to eat and continued to grow.
The people who had once gobbled them up
Now served as morsels on which they supped.
Such an ironic twist of fate,
The eater being eaten by that which is ate.
A horrible nightmare, somehow turned real!
Oh, why didn't mankind stick with oatmeal?
At first no one saw the danger.
People heard but took no heed.
"That's what you get" they said,
"When you eat more sugar than you need."
The evil seemed to grow
Stronger every day.
But people shrugged it off saying
"We all die sometime anyway."
This became the Fruitloops battle cry
When they came to loot and pillage.
"You all die sometime anyway!"
They'd scream as they ate another village.
This seemed to justify their actions
In the public eye.
"Why not?" people said,
"It's just another way to die.
Cancer claims many victims,
As do heart attacks and strokes.
We all know the average person
Eventually must croak.
Our highways take an awful toll,
Thousands in a daily slaughter,
And every day some maniac shoots
Hiw wife, his sons, and his daughters.
And there's always a war going on someplace.
Death is nothing new.
It happens all the time." they said,
"So what do you expect us to do?"
Because of this the evil grew
Until it could not be ignored,
And people began to seek a way
To stop the Fruitloop horde.
Where was the Army
The Navy and Marines?
What did they do
To stop these awful things?
The Airforce was prepared
To shoot down any UFO,
But little did they realize
The threat was here below.
If mankind could be saved,
It would have to be saved now,
And mankind found its savior
In Super Dairy Cow!
Super Dairy Cow
Killed the Fruitloops and their ilk
By drowning them completely
In frothy white milk.
The evil breakfast cereal
Sat in the milk too long
And became much to soggy
To perpetrate their wrong.
So Super Dairy Cow
Killed the Fruitloop brood,
And mankind forevermore
Ate only wholesome food.
happybrew
__________________
Board Certified Beeropathic Physician
For only a small fee I can recommend the type of beer to cure what ales you.
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