My Favorite Computer Joke (It's Old)

[STGRule]

Three guys are traveling together. One is a chemical engineer, one is a mechanical engineer and the third is a Microsoft software engineer. In the middle of the desert the car breaks down. The chemical engineer says, "We have to drain the fuel and clean the entire system. That will fix it". The mechanical engineer says, "We have to take down and re-build the engine. That will fix it". The software engineer says "All we have to do is get out of the car, close the doors, and then get back in". :grin:

[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

[Point-of-Sale Clerk]

Things You Don't Want To Hear From Computer Technical Support:

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

* "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

* "So -- what are you wearing?"

* "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

* "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."

* "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

* "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."

* "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

* "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

* "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

* "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

[Paddlefish]

***:

Or the line heard from my live-in geek nephew techno computer geek, just before I had to spring for new everything-except-the-monitor: "Well, if it wasn't broke before, it sure is now!"

[Lured In]

Another old one, as best as I can remember...

A high profile CEO was flying in his helicopter around Seattle when his pilot, somehow got lost in the fog. They flew near a building and found a large window with a conference meeting taking place. The pilot edged the helicopter closer to the window and the CEO wrote "Where are we?" on a piece of paper and held it up.

With some strange looks from the folks inside the building, one of them quickly scribbled on a piece paper and held it to the conference room window...

It read, "You are in a helicopter".

With that the pilot, turned the helicopter north and they quickly found their building. Somewhat puzzled, the CEO asked his pilot how he figured out which way to go. The pilot replied, that building was Microsoft.

:shocked:

If you don't get it....Microsoft is well known for providing useless information when problems occur with no apparent explaination of why.

[ 08-01-2003, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: Lured In ]

[Conspiracy Theory]

Hey the people in Microsoft building answered the question that was put to them, similar to how a computer would've answered. You must be VERY SPECIFIC as the computer cannot interpret what you want. It can only give results on the input given it.

The old computer saying - bad input = bad output.

They asked where they were - and they were in a helicopter. duh.

[Jennie@ifish]

The classic Microsoft fix for everything...

"Have you reinstalled your operating system?

Try that, and call us back."

Jen

[Silver Hilton]

What's the difference between a computer saleman and a car salesman? Car salesman knows how to drive...