Today, I stood on the edge

Hogmaster · 06-25-2003, 03:34 PM

The edge

Today, I stood on the edge
So close. So invitingly close.
One step. One simple small step.
So quick. Inertia takes over
So far. So very far down

Today, I stood on the edge
It was not accidental
It was a clear choice
Here, I always turn back
The jungle has so many paths

Today, I stood on the edge
It was not by chance
Or maybe it was
And it was so hard
To return to the darkness

Today, I stood on the edge
The paths all lead back
The paths all come back
The voices are real
They continue to call

Today, I stood on the edge
I respond. I am not heard
When heard I do not speak
I hurt, and I have hurt
I try so hard not to hurt

Today, I stood on the edge
When I try to be what I�m not
Maybe that�s what I am
I took yet another path
From light to the jungle

Tomorrow I will stand on the edge
Again�

[ 06-27-2003, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: Hogmaster ]

happybrew · 06-25-2003, 03:43 PM

Are you okay, Hogmaster?

happybrew

Miss B Haven · 06-25-2003, 03:47 PM

He's kinda.....edgey today...leave him alone!

:grin:

lost_sailor · 06-25-2003, 04:07 PM

"The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on.
He took a face from the ancient gallery and he
Walked on down the hall ..."

Mad Mikey · 06-25-2003, 04:31 PM

This is really messing with my pea-sized neandrathal brain. I'm kind of "edgy"....

:grin:

hickwithaflyrod · 06-25-2003, 04:49 PM

This a poetry reading if so don't get me in on it, oh man...........Hog, did you write that?? Really good....

John

The Fishing Geek · 06-25-2003, 04:51 PM

>snapping fingers<

RvW · 06-25-2003, 05:19 PM

So Hog, What'd you do "today"?

Just kidding.

That was kinda deep, Im sure theres lots of people dont want to see you on the "edge"

Hope all is well.

RvW · 06-25-2003, 05:21 PM

LS, Im holding you responsible for the flash-back I just had. :shocked: :grin: I spoke to Jim, he is well.

[ 06-25-2003, 06:23 PM: Message edited by: cirrhosis-of-the-river ]

Fish Nets · 06-25-2003, 08:42 PM

Hope you don't mind if I added some footnotes...............
TODAY I STOOD ON THE EDGE With My Best Friend

Today, I stood on the edge
With my best friend��.
So close. So invitingly close.
One step, a hand. One simple small step.

Today, I stood on the edge with my best friend -So quick. Inertia takes over, So far, So very far down�my fears fall away

Today, I stood on the edge with my best friend
It was not accidental, It was a clear choice

Today, I stood on the edge, here before, I have turned back from my best friend..........
The jungle has so many paths, but my best friend is by my side.........

Today, I stood on the edge with my best friend�..
I take a stand, and it was so hard
To return to the darkness

Today, I stood on the edge with my best friend��
It was not by chance.........Or maybe it was...

Today, I stood on the edge, my best friend is with me now��
The paths all lead back........
The paths all come back...........

Today, I stood on the edge, my best friend, always there��.
The voices are real.........
They continue to call ...........

Today, I stood on the edge, my best friend observes in silence and waits��
I respond to the voices. No one hears me, except my best friend......when heard by others I do not speak

Today, I stood on the edge, I can�t see, but my best friend stands in silence beside me,
I hurt, and I have hurt, I try so hard not to hurt, and my best friend stands beside me.....

Today, I stood on the edge............
When I try to be what I�m not..........
Maybe that�s what I am, and my best friend stands beside me............

Today, I stood on the edge...........
I took yet another path
From light to jungle again, and my best friend stands besides me............

Tomorrow I will stand on the edge
Again��.

[ 06-25-2003, 06:12 PM: Message edited by: Hogmaster/fish nets ]

crabbait · 06-26-2003, 12:43 AM

Hog - Step away from the edge. Now go refill that prescription. Listen to the nice Dr., not the voices.......

northriver1 · 06-26-2003, 07:13 AM

Hog - It would seem the presure of coming to Eugene put you over the edge.

FEAR NO FISH! · 06-26-2003, 07:22 AM

Sometimes...
Late at night...
The spirits of all the fish I have ever caught,
come back to haunt me.
Fish on!

Tanner · 06-26-2003, 07:43 AM

There once was a man from Nantucket...... :shocked:

reeldick · 06-26-2003, 07:50 AM

Hog, use the steps if you're going down there to plunk. Don't stand on the edge!

skrimmy · 06-26-2003, 07:54 AM

I think the boy has seen too many black helicopters and elk!

Relax hog....everything is going to be alright....

Miss B Haven · 06-26-2003, 08:32 AM

Elk? Did someboday say Elk? :shocked: :grin:

Hogmaster · 06-26-2003, 09:11 AM

OK, for all of those of you that expressed concern, especially you Mel :smile: there is no need for fretting.

Again a brewmaster is the first to question the state of mind.

TFG, I loved it! Maybe this is why I am growing a Goatee...

Yes I am the author. Not a pre-published work like Mr. Ray Troll's, Mr. FEAR NO FISH :smile: I particularly like, "Fish Worship, Is it Wrong?"

Tanner, shame on you!

Here are some questions for all of you.

I can tell you that this writing has multiple meanings for me. What does it mean to you?

What is the "edge"? For me, or for you?

Where does the "step" lead?

What does the "jungle" mean to you?

Here is something you may not have thought about. Where are the "voices" coming from?

What kind of "hurt"?

Who are you? If you try to be someone you're not, are you really that person?

Because someone writes something funny, does it mean they are happy?

Conversely, can someone write something that seems of dispair without feeling that way?

Too heavy? Just wondering how/what this made other people think...

Miss B Haven · 06-26-2003, 09:16 AM

Never mind all that mushy stuff Hog, WHERE'S THE ELK?

:grin:

FEAR NO FISH! · 06-26-2003, 09:21 AM

It's my message on my answering machine! Hey Hogmaster, I will see you on Saturday, below Bonneville. I understand you will be taking the sleeping troll with you.

Shake it easy.

Birdnest · 06-26-2003, 10:31 AM

This is so obviously about buying a boat.

reeldick · 06-26-2003, 03:16 PM

I started thinking about your second post and got a pounding headache. It's better now that I quit thinking about the never never land stuff and got my mind back on fishing and golf.
Sorry Gary, it was way to deep for my little polish brain.

happybrew · 06-26-2003, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hogmaster:

Again a brewmaster is the first to question the state of mind.

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helvetica">I was wondering if maybe you needed a beer.

happybrew

Hogmaster · 06-27-2003, 01:40 PM

Of course I needed a beer! :grin:

lost_sailor · 06-27-2003, 01:58 PM

Actually, that's a pretty high-quality poem.

I used to write some poetry in my tormented youth. Now that I'm fat and comfy ... well, that doesn't inspire the good stuff, for me anyway.

Hey I wrote a poem about picking up trash by the river!

I'll see if I can find it.

ONE SUMMER NIGHT IN OCTOBER

Too dark to tie a hook to a line
Too soon to drive back to the city

That summer steelhead, well:
Elusive at best
in this clear Clackamas water
Leaving me with a big plastic bag
without a fish in it
and with time on my hands
so that I might
pick up
this
trash.

In a minute or two I have
a couple cubic feet of
paper, styrofoam, plastic, metal, monofilament and
mysterious organic residue
Why am I doing this?
I wonder
good karma from old Mother Earth?
I wonder
who appreciates the last guy left
down at the fishin' hole
picking up the trash

The thoughtless jerks who dropped it here
wouldn't even notice!
Oh well
too dark to tell a leaf from a cigarette pack
one last look at the river:

Reflected against the deep blue autumn sky
A silver salmon leaps in salute

Thank you.

Hogmaster · 06-27-2003, 02:10 PM

Thanks for the props, LS.

If Jennie didn't hate you so much I'd say that is some thought provoking stuff!

:smile:

Phil Layer · 06-27-2003, 03:25 PM

So, what kind of boat did you buy?

lost_sailor · 06-28-2003, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hogmaster:
If Jennie didn't hate you so much...

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helvetica">:depressed:

Jennie@ifish · 07-12-2003, 07:41 AM

Jennie doesn't hate you.
Jennie got irritated at you, once... or hurt by you once... but Jennie is over it now, and Jennie actually likes you now.

See? I stepped over the edge, and now I like LS! OH NO!! :smile:

ampersat · 07-12-2003, 11:51 PM

is it the edge of bliss? happiness? love? hillarity? ambivalence? the edge doesn't necessarily have to be negative. it puts a whole different spin when you start playing with it.

AtWorkALot · 07-16-2003, 06:04 AM

Maybe stepping over the edge, out of the darkness and jungle is to leave your personal demons behind?

Maybe it's a spiritual trip, putting faith in God, letting go and putting your problems in his hands? The last step over the edge is that leap of faith that is so hard to take?

To step over the edge is to make a fresh start and break free of the things you or others do to keep you unhappy, ashamed, alone, etc...

Maybe I've got it backwards?

Maybe you ate some bad tacos? :tongue:

SafetyChain · 07-16-2003, 07:43 AM

Gary,
Just read this for the first time. What a great piece of work. Hit many buttons for where I am right now... on the edge.

I am working on a couple of start-up companies and am on the edge looking. Do I go forward or return to the jungle? Thanks buddy, it gave me some perspective.

Cool Texan · 07-16-2003, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AtWorkALot:

Maybe you ate some bad tacos? :tongue:

Pilar · 07-16-2003, 09:50 AM

Lost_sailor ...

Great quote from Mr. Morrison and 'The End'. Here's another one from 'American Prayer'...

"Out here on the perimeter there are no stars,
Out here we is stoned, immaculate"

Killertraylor · 07-16-2003, 12:45 PM

Hogmaster - you asked what I was thinking when I read it - I thought you were standing on the cliffs overlooking the ocean and thinking about jumping - and were heading back tomorrow because you couldn't force yourself to do it today.

Guess I'm pretty literal when it comes to interpreting poetry though - I'm not creative enough to get away from the literal meaning of the words. I also was worried for you and I don't even know you.

riverrat · 07-18-2003, 04:27 AM

very interesting poem..... people awake every day and have to make choices on what path to go down today...people who are true to themselves have easy choices, but people who are wannabes and do not have independent thoughts can be convinced by the voices to stray.......enough for now, but do appreciate the poem......tom

Hogmaster · 07-20-2003, 05:47 PM

KillerTraylor -

Not a cliff over the ocean per se'

riverrat -

Quite astute, Tom

BuckisMunz · 07-28-2003, 09:08 AM

Hatred

Heart�s hurting
She keeps flirting
Manic depression
Fighting revolution
Crazed manifold
Sparks flying bold
Distant thumps
Stupid chumps
Blood rushing mind
Fast forward rewind
Low eye brow
Snarling bow
Anxious hatredness
Feelings of dismiss
So much energy
Melting democracy
Sporadic hatred
Blood dried red
Body of anguish
Feeling squirmish
Restless head
Last found dead

hehe... I wrote this about 6 years ago. man was I an angry person.. hahaaa....

Hogmaster · 07-28-2003, 01:48 PM

WOW!

Kinda scary, but good stuff.

Was it the counseling or the drugs that worked?

:grin:

the bear · 07-28-2003, 02:08 PM

i know the feeling!!!!!!!!!the edge is always just right there,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

BuckisMunz · 07-28-2003, 02:56 PM

at the time I was on drugs, So I'd say that it was God, and good counseling that brought me to where I am today.