Kids - ain't they amazing?!

[OceanBlue]

Most of these are just precious. I about fell out of my chair laughing at the one titled "DEATH"

Enjoy!

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my
uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he asked, "What'd he do?"

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers
and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next
morning."

DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper
burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned
his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ..... and into the hole he gooooes."

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed
in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

[FallRiverGuy]

Thanks PM, a good way to start the day!

[Jennie@ifish]

Kids are amazing! I love it!
Read about the shampoo lady on the front page. :smile:

That's me!
:smile:
J

[id. painter]

Great post. My two children are my life and my biggest joy. id. p.

[Spotted Owl]

Thank god for kids what would we do with out them, and their innocent comic relief [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]


[img]graemlins/hearton.gif[/img] Ya gotta luv'm [img]graemlins/hearton.gif[/img]

[Cool Texan]

[fish assassin]

Dear Shampoo Lady:

Be grateful your sun didn't try to dye his hair blond and come out with
white hair!! Or worse yet, be VERY glad he didn't want to dye his hair
purple, green or bright orange!!

Don't EVEN ask me how I know these things!

-assAssin-

PS, cute story (-m-)

Originally posted by Jennie@ifish:
Kids are amazing! I love it!
Read about the shampoo lady on the front page. :smile:

That's me!
:smile:
J

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helvetica">

[husker]

[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

[Paddlefish]

I took my toddler along to a nearby church when I went to donate blood. (He was especially fond of the snack table and the attention he received from the elderly volunteers.)

Seven years later, that church is still known as "The Blood Church."

[Birdnest]

[Rip'N'Lips]

My nephew who was 6 at the time will forever be known for asking this question, "Why is left the wrong way? (Because right is right)...

Rip'N'Lips

[Kruechief]

Thanks for the chuckle!

Lo