Wrote this earlier and it's still true now :(

[Jennie@ifish]

I wrote this in my space on the front page today, and I... think I need someone to be nice to me. I had a really bad day.

I'll never forget back in about 1982, living in Cannon Beach. I knew the roads in the city like the back of my hand. No one traveled them much, in that day.
Routinely, I'd drive my little Toyota into town to get my mail, maybe stop by "The Round Table" where all the locals gathered to have coffee and discuss the highlights of the day.
I was on my way back home, one spring day, and I, just for a quick moment, glanced down at my mail. At that very instance, a small lab pup, probably 10 months old, darted out in front of me. I'll never forget the horrifying sound as my tires went over it's body. I left my car in the middle of the road, running, and ran after the pup, who was in shock, and laying in a field.
He was panting heavily, and died soon after.
I was devastated, and I guess, in shock. The owner of the dog kept trying to make me feel better. He kept saying, "I'll get another one! It's OK!" I still, to this day don't understand those words. Get another one? Replace your best friend? Huh?
I think he and I probably had different kinds of relationships with dogs.
The next thing I knew, I was in a neighbor's house, and I was really cold. They were serving me hot tea, saying that I shouldn't drive, until I calmed down. They thought I was in shock. I was in tears, and shattered.
I still don't know how to talk about what happened today. It seems surreal, like it didn't happen, and at the same time, I can't believe my fortune.
Yesterday, I had gone fishing, and gotten my mats all dirty in my car. I washed them out, and haphazardly threw them back in.
Today, Bill and I were quarreling. I don't even know what about. It was something silly.
Anyway, I got into my car, to go to the post office. I couldn't take Kilchis with me, so I was watching him carefully, as I backed out. He was to my right, clear of the car.
I didn't use any gas to back up. My foot gently tapped the brake.
With Kilchis, well out of the way to the side, and nothing in view in the front, I pressed the gas to move up the steep driveway, to the road. My engine raced, and it lurched oddly forward.
I head a sickening thud, as my car raised up and lowered. I didn't remember anything in the road there, and then, in my rear view mirror, I saw Dee Dee, run away from the car.
I threw the car in park, suddenly realizing what I had done, and ran for Dee Dee. My heart was thumping, racing, and everything came back to me about the dog I had run over in Cannon Beach.
I saw Bill run from the garage, and he was screaming at me...terrible things.
I felt awful. I was scared out of my mind. I love that dog as much as I love Kilchis, if not more, since I've known her longer.
Bill was holding her, and obviously, in semi shock himself. He wouldn't let me near her, kept shouting, "You ran over my dog! Get out of here!"
I have decided to forgive him this, since I think he wasn't thinking right. Right? In thinking, I suppose that was a better reaction than telling me it's OK and that he could just get another one. I think I can relate more to Bill, than the owner of the Cannon Beach dog. But still, it stung, clear to my heart.
I felt so helpless, and my stomach churned, and my eyes welled up in tears. That familiar, cold shaky feeling came back to me.
Finally, inside, we toweled off Dee Dee, who seemed to be alright, except for a cut underneath her eye, and on her chest. She was muddy, having been thrown to the ground in a mud puddle, but otherwise, still a happy Dee Dee?
I went back out to the car, and realized that my car mat was over my gas pedal, instead of behind it. Thus, the lurch forward. Perhaps, though, looking back, this may have been a blessing. Had I gone any slower, the damage may have been greater?
It's been two hours, and Dee Dee still seems to be doing alright. Perhaps a little sore, but alright.
I just don't get it though. How can an animal be OK after being run over by a Ford Explorer?
I don't know where on her body she got run over?
I am still sick, near to nausea about the whole thing. I think I've cried, dried up, and cried some more for about 2 hours now... and still, Dee Dee is OK.
I've held her in my arms and apologized over and over and over. I've given her cheese, and turkey and so many hugs I can't count.
This is not a good day. I keep playing it over and over in my mind. The sickening thump, the feel of the car going up and down, the vision of Dee Dee running from the car, of Bill yelling at me... of all these things... It's a nightmare.
But then again, as I said earlier, I can't believe my fortune. God only gives you as much as you can deal with. I think he knows that I couldn't deal with losing Dee Dee right now, or in this way.
It could have been much worse, and had it been any worse, I don't know how I could live with myself.
I'm having a hard time living with what happened, as it is.
Now excuse me for a bit... I feel those tears coming back again.

and again... and again... and again.
:depressed:

Jen

[norms gone fishing too]

jennie i don't know what to say expect dee dee and you will be the lead when i pray tonite
i truly how deedee is ok and that you too are ok
your famly will be in my thoughts tonite

norm

[ 04-18-2003, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: norms gone fishing too ]

[dampainter]

Like I said before you are a very sweet lady...Things happen, I am sure your bill knows and was speaking on the moment. May your dog be ok and may your heart feel happiness.

[Rocky]

Sorry to hear about your past experience with the pup Jen, maybe the fellow who he belonged to wanted to say other things but to calm you down said he could get another one, Who knows? As far as Dee Dee glad to hear she does not appear to be hurt but, animals can hide their pain pretty well and I think a trip to the vet wouldnt hurt, just for getting checked and maybe an x-ray or two.

Ron

[The Fishing Geek]

I, too, would recommend a precautionary trip to the vet. If something internal is going on, it's best to know now.

[Lucky Bamboo]

I'm so sorry, Jen. <snif>. Deep down, you know it wasn't your fault, and I know that DeeDee doesn't think it was either. I'm sure Bill is sorry already for lashing out at you, but that wasn't his fault, either. Things happen, but remember..."This, too, shall pass". If it were a pet of mine, I'd have the Vet check her over...just to be on the safe side....OK? :smile:

[STGRule]

Please, a trip to the vet is a good idea. If nothing else, it will make for a much better night sleep.

[Jennie@ifish]

I told Bill that, but he didn't think it was necessary.
I think I will take her in the morning, myself.

She seems normal, sore, but normal... but you never know.
Thanks you guys... I'm feeling pretty low.
Jen

[STGRule]

Jennie: Stuff happens. Never did it occur to you that this could happen. You were thinking of the one likely to be in the way, not the one that has been around cars forever. Dogs and kids do as many dumb things as we can think of and then some and we hope the odds don't catch up with us. I have two dogs. One I would never think to be in the way and one I would never trust to not be in the way. Here is hoping all is well. Do take her to the vet in the morning. Peace of mind. And maybe it will make her more comfortable while she heals from the bruising.
EDIT: Please think about taking her to the vet now if you can. Internal injuries can be be bad if left.

[ 04-18-2003, 08:20 PM: Message edited by: STGRule ]

[sinker]

I remember when I was a teenager my family was headed out of town and had left me to watch the place and take care of all the critters. I know what you're thinking, but I was a good kid

They were gonna be gone for a week and about a half hour after they left I'd put some fix-a-lot in a tire on my truck and was headed up town. Backed out of the driveway and kind felt a bump and heard a YIP, Hit the brakes and didn't see anything, back up a little more and there Cocker Spaniel takes off yipping around the back of the house.
Oh great, this is gonna be a good week.
I track him down and he looks scared but seems fine, waggin his tail at me.
So off to town I go and fix my tire. Get home and track the dog down again and he won't stand up.
:shocked: :shocked:
Toss him in the truck with me and off to the vet we go. Tell the vet what happened and whats wrong with him. She says to set him on the table. She walks out the door and that stupid dog stands up and starts waggin his tail and walking around the table.
They kept him overnight to make sure his bladder wasn't ruptured or anything. Picked him up the next day and he's still kickin, this was about 13 years ago.
He was better around cars for a year or so but you still need someone to watch your car at their place. I kept telling my mom I could hit him again and see if he'd learn anything the 2nd time but she just gets mad at me.

[24 on/ 48 off]

Jennie,

As usual, today I read your ifish main page and was so saddened by what happened. Accidents happen and crule things can be said during emotional times.

I hope all turns out well for you, Bill and Dee Dee.

--spud-- :smile:

[crabbait]

I hope all is well with Dee Dee come the morning and tomorrow is better than today.

Hang in there.

[corrirod]

These things are out of our control Jen. I'm very sorry it happened and I hope everything will be o.k. Dee Dee's good spirits are a very good sign. Perhaps an ibuprofen would help her in the meantime, both for pain and swelling. I'll be thinking about you and her tomorrow.

[Jennie@ifish]

Just a note:
I don't think you are ever supposed to give dogs Ibuprophen.

I gave her Aspirin yesterday when it happened, and then some pills they gave me for Kilchis' sore muscles, last night.

This morning, I woke up to a wiggly tailed Dee Dee, who barked and raced out the door to go chase mysterious animals in the night!!!

:grin: :grin: :grin:

Thank you so much for your prayers! I still might take her to the vet today, but things are making me happy happy!

Jen

[roundbelly]

its a full moon, makes a lot of wierd things happen.

[Lucky Bamboo]

Sooooooo......how is Dee Dee tonight???? It's been well over 24 hours now.....how's she doing? Did you take her to the Vet, and if so, what did the Vet say? Please let us know, Jennie....We are all interested and care!!