More redneck clues

[David Johnson]

: You know you're a redneck when ...

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

3. You burn your yard rather than mow it .

4. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.

5. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

6. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
it.

8. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

9. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

10. Your grandmother has Ammo on her Christmas list.

11. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

12. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

13. You have used a rag for a gas cap.

14. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

15. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

16. You can spit without opening your mouth.

17. You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made it.

18. You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip
on the side.

19. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

20. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

21. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

22. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

23. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings
you home.

24. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of
improvement.

25. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

26. You've asked the preacher, "How's it hangin'?"

27. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

[Degner]

[gotZem]

Oh thank you David!! I really needed a laugh today! Those are FUNNY! Had to send a few of those on if you don't mind. Need to "hook up" someday and go fishing with you and your dad-I'll bring Uncle Joy and some pictures we never had a chance to "review". Been a long time. I'll be in touch.
Ken Cox

[Cool Texan]

Hey hey hey....lets just ease up a bit on my kin-folk. :shocked:

[Snapset]

I guess I am not a red neck. Only thirteen of those apply to me..

[fishin]

I'll have to tell pa about that back scratcher idea! :grin:

[Cool Texan]

What about:

1) If you've ever cooked SPAM on the grill
2) Used SPAM in bed
3) Go to family reunions to pick up chicks

:shocked: