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02-17-2003, 06:43 PM
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#1
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Guest
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Just downstream from the Hole O' Garbage'
Posts: 8,838
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Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
Brand New 2003 Edition of "You know you're a redneck when..."
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> You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.
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> You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.
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> Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
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> You burn your yard rather than mow it.
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> You think the "Nutcracker" is something you did off the high dive.
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> The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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> You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
> it.
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> You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
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> You come back from the dump with more than you took.
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> You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
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> Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
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> Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
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> You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
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> You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
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> You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
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> You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
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> You have a rag for a gas cap.
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> Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
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> You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
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> You can spit without opening your mouth.
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> You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
> it.
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> Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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> The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
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> Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
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> You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
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> A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of
improvements.
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> You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
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> You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
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> You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
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02-17-2003, 06:47 PM
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#2
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King Salmon
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Beaverton
Posts: 9,971
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
Do you need to do all these to be a RN or just a couple  :tongue: :grin:
__________________
It is better to say, "This one thing I do" than to say, "These forty things I dabble in."
--- Washington Gladden
The gods do not deduct from man's allotted span the hours spent in fishing. ~Babylonian Proverb
http://twitter.com/5CentZ
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02-17-2003, 06:50 PM
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#3
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Guest
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
Hey, some of these I do! :smile:
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02-17-2003, 06:52 PM
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#4
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Tuna!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Warren, Or.
Posts: 1,830
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
Hey????? There's nuthin' funny 'bout that stuff. :whazzup:
__________________
Nothin' to Prove.....Just Fishin' for Fun.
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02-17-2003, 07:09 PM
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#5
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Guest
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Just downstream from the Hole O' Garbage'
Posts: 8,838
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
Com'on Nickle!
Which ones DON'T apply to you??? :grin:
Keta, don't tell us which ones! :shocked:
Sorry, HOGTIDE, didn't know you might read this! :grin: :grin:
Gotta go, I just got an urge to scratch my back!
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02-17-2003, 07:14 PM
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#6
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King Salmon
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: EFL
Posts: 5,079
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
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02-17-2003, 07:21 PM
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#7
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Guest
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
Hog,
None involving sheep :shocked:
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02-17-2003, 07:44 PM
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#8
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King Salmon
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Out in the back forty
Posts: 6,167
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
You might be a redneck if... you've ever parked a camaro in a tree.
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02-17-2003, 08:31 PM
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#9
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King Salmon
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: EFL
Posts: 5,079
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
Keta you kill me!
You might be a redneck if..... the only reason you got married is 'cuz "sheep cant cook"
[ 02-17-2003, 09:34 PM: Message edited by: cirrhosis-of-the-river ]
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02-17-2003, 09:28 PM
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#10
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Ifish Nate
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Aloha, OR
Posts: 2,162
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
Are you saying that my wife has been using my back scratcher to clean the toilet?
:grin: :grin:
__________________
Bill
I Love My German Shepherd - Pope Benedict XVI
www.melanoma.com
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02-17-2003, 09:41 PM
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#11
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King Salmon
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: EFL
Posts: 5,079
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Re: Brand New 2003 Edition of Redneck!
I guess if the backscratcher wears rubber gloves when cleaning the terlet, or has a hoof dip afterwards...your OK
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